Bad oneitis cycle hard to stop

[youngmack]

I've seen a pattern in the oneitis that I get and how I get over them. It seems like for me to get over a oneitis I have to catch oneitis for another girl. All the oneitis that I've gotten over was because I found a new girl to think about and this is fcked up. Why am I like this? Is this an inner game issue? Wtf am I doing wrong? I've been here long enough to know better.

All my focus is really on school and excelling at my sport. I really have no time for b1tches even though I have a couple plates that I bang here and there. Why can't I get over oneitis the normal way? Any thoughts/advice/solutions?

 

[VikingKing]

Happens to me also. I've noticed in the past the same cycle. I think it comes to the way we perceive and our thinking patterns.

Sometimes it takes time to change, this is normal.

Honestly my advice, which is the conclusion i've come to, is you need to start implementing self fulfilling prophecies, they result with this not happening anymore.

So its mostly psychological, part social, and I think having onietus is really just being insecure.

If what ever you are doing is working, or isn't enough, then do more or something different.

Your half way there bro, you've identified the problem, now you have to find a solution that works.

Yes I'm only 25, but I wish I would have found the red pill when I was 18. There are guys are here that found it when they were 30,35, 40, and they wish they found it when they were 25.

Its all about perspective.

Women are only worth what you believe they are worth.

 

[NewToTheGame]

I have had the same experience with oneitis switching from girl to girl. In fact, this past summer there were two girls in particular in which my oneitis transferred back and forth at least five times. Sometimes it only took a couple days.

What I realized from this experience is that the last really desirable girl that rejected me (or was not responding to texts, being distant, aloof, etc, etc) occupied a certain prominent place in my head-space. And there is really only room for one girl there at a time.

I know that, personally, this rapidly shifting oneitis was indicative of a deep-rooted insecurity about my success or lack thereof in other areas of life. Specifically, I lacked a larger "mission" in life. This insecurity has a funny way of disappearing when a hot girl is all over you. But returns with a vengeance when she is gone or distant.

All I can say is that you need to take a hard look at yourself, and decide if this is how you want to live your life. I'm not saying it is the end of the world, but at the same time unrequited love/lust can be brutal and consuming.

Personally, I no longer want to have my mental state largely determined based on the actions of an illogical emotional creature.

My solution is one you have probably heard before: focus on their negatives, accept that you lost (or are losing) them, and focus on yourself. Realize that you are a valuable, driven, successful person with or without a female in your life. And if you aren't any of those things, become them.

 

[Renegade357]

Yeah, it's always the last one that haunts your dreams. Then you find someone better, get rejected or it doesn't work out, repeat process. Sucks really. There's no logical reason behind it.

Funny how you can be indifferent about the ones you had oneitis over before you catch oneitis for the new one. Replacement cures the symptoms but not the disease. Love is a drug.

 

[TheGambino]

I experience the same. Only if the chick rejects me or shows mixed signals. If shes all easy to hook up with I'll be on top of my game, really indifferent and I couldn't care if she leaves. I had her so no fun.

The ones, especially with a cool personality that give me a hard time and show mixed signals I grow oneitis for pretty fast. Had some of these that I made out with and at a certain point they showed mixed signals. I listened to RnB music thinking about her, imagined how I kissed her hold her hands having fun all that. Snap out of that thought, be real to yourself and check where you stand with the chick, if she gives you a hard time to meet up or backs off when you make a move, just wake up and next her before you get played. When you reach to that point with a chick, you know she got you and your in the oneitis zone.

So keep one foot out always, invest in every plate the same and keep your options open don't draw in one girl and swim so far in the ocean that you can't get back to the beach. Been there bro, I feel your situation but you have to kill that feeling. Remember how oneitis sucks and just know that theres always a better option out there.

 

[youngmack]

Yeah I see where all of you guys are coming from... but I just don't get how with how busy I am with school and sports that there is time for me to think about my ex like wtf. Sh!t makes no sense. I just wanna get this last girl outta my head and start over fresh you know what I mean?

Noobolgy yeah I think it can be a thinking a problem that probably connects to my inner game? I'm still battling low self esteem and always doubting myself.

 

[Night-hawk]

It can be purged through the pain of realizing the image/ ideal/ yearning and the mirage (ugly truth). The mirage you chase after is not what it appears, however the appeal of its form makes you ignore the futility of your hope to reach it.

Oneitis is a curse you cast upon yourself by buying the gypsie's act.

Remedy: know your worth. Know AWALT.

 

[ScoundrelDays]

I feel like my oneitis has become less and less intense with each new girl. Hopefully it gets to the point where it dissipates all together

 

[Lotus Effect]

Funny how you can be indifferent about the ones you had oneitis over before you catch oneitis for the new one. Replacement cures the symptoms but not the disease. Love is a drug.

Very well said Renegade.

I'm still thinking about my Ex on a daily basis. But just the other day I came across a girl I was obssessed from 2001 to 2010.
Yeah, that is right. Almost 10 F*cking years!!!

You know how I felt about her? Absolutely normal. In fact I do believe she was even into me (We hooked up in 2010/11), but I was kind of in a rush, and did not got her cell.

Wanna know how I feel about not getting it? I don't give a damn.

Now put my ex in the same room as me and watch me go bananas. :crazy:
hahahaha!

 

[youngmack]

Word, three days ago my oneitis from 10-12 grade hit me up and we talked like it was nothing. I felt no way and could actually hold a convo with her. But when she was all I thought about, I would be getting nervous, watching what I would say making sure it sounded cool and mackish. Try to impress her and all of that. Now its like whatever because I got some other girl on my mind. Now its looking like once I get a new girl to think about this current one will be like whatever.

Is this a normal condition? As I achieve my goals will I grow out of this sh1t?

 

[XMinister]

I agree with Noobology. I see oneitis as insecurity. It isn't intentional, it's due to scarcity and dependency.

When someone has oneitis, they depend on that person emotionally.

If one is spinning plates, oneitis becomes much harder because scarcity is eliminated and dependency isn't on one person. The person now has abundance when it comes female attention, so there's less stress.

That's what I mean by insecurity being unintentional, because the nature of holding onto just one person leads to deep dependency and breeds insecurity, in my opinion.

It's easy to say avoiding this cycle is avoiding a a conventional relationship, but not everyone is looking to keep it casual with their female circles.