Bad day

[GADavid]

How do you guys get trough a slump. This is the worst day I've ever had. I mean zero self confidence, every little and big thing has fallen to ****, and feel like everything is pointless. I've never had so little passion for life and wanted to spill my guts out to a woman so badly. I know for sure that it would only make things worse, but the alternative is to walk away. It feels like a coward avoiding a fight rather than walking away with dignity.

Nothing I tell myself makes it feel any better, I don't want to do anything, I can't think about one other thing. It's eating me up and I can't shake it. I guess today I realized I have zero if not negative chance with my ex anymore. The oneitis feeling and unrequited love thing is sabotaging my entire life and I desperately want to get out of this. So how do you get out of the emotional spiral that ensues?

 

[Renegade357]

Maybe if you told us your situation we could give you more help. Otherwise I don't know what to say other than it can't rain every day.

 

[perseverance]

Ah Oneitis, such a terrible thing when the excrement hits the fan. What can you do? Well you have two choices here:

1. Lay in bed all day, crying, masturbating, eating Cherry Garcia whilst watching 51st dates and listening to Joy Division's, Closer!

2. You can get your backside out of the bed and carry on with life. Most people in this world have been in your position, but guess what? Time is your friend, as time progresses you will move forward, because you have no choice.

Time waits for no man, buddy, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and don't waste your time on with the wrong people.

 

[GADavid]

Maybe if you told us your situation we could give you more help. Otherwise I don't know what to say other than it can't rain every day.

Had a girl I was casually dating for a few months. I got too attached and backed off 100%. I managed to piss her off since then. We started hanging out again recently but I got frustrated. She made it impossible to flirt or escalate things. I came to the conclusion today that she's always going to keep me in friend zone from here on and that I need to give up on her. Problem is I actually have deep feelings for this one, so I don't want to give up.

The idea of simply giving up means admitting I don't have a chance with someone I want to be with. I've made the mistake of making this girl everything to me and it feels extremely lonely to realize noone gives a **** about you.

 

[Scars]

Best way to get over someone is replace them. Start spinning plates.

-Scars

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Watch the movie "Swingers," it mirrors your situation.

Other than that... most of the advice on here will usually consist of "get over it," "spin some plates," "stop obsessing over one chick," etc. Basically, ignore what you're feeling and move on as quickly as possible. I'm a believer in a person recognizing how they feel, dealing with those feelings, and finding ways to channel those feelings so they can move on.

My suggestion? Instead of ignoring how you feel, do the opposite. Give yourself a time limit - a day, week, 2 weeks - on how long you will let yourself be mad about this situation, then go full force. Yell at the walls, cry about it, reminisce on what could have been, write out your feelings, mope around - do all of that stuff.

What you'll find is, by forcing yourself to do this, you'll start to get tired of doing it. Making yourself focus on someone that hard will make you start to wonder what else it is you could be focusing on. But regardless, go full throttle for your set deadline of self-pity.

Once the deadline time comes, stop focusing on it and turn your attwntion elsewhere. Don't bring up her name in conversation anymore, don't talk about her on these boards, and when you start feeling like you might slip back into thinking about her, got do domething productive instead - hang out with friends, jog, work on a sculpture, ANYTHING other than putting the focus back on her.

Hope this helps! And seriously, watch "Swingers" - heck, it's got Vince Vaughn in it!

 

[Trump]

Had a girl I was casually dating for a few months. I got too attached and backed off 100%. I managed to piss her off since then. We started hanging out again recently but I got frustrated. She made it impossible to flirt or escalate things.

You have to build attraction first. You can't go feel up a woman or friend because you just feel like it one day, it's not like going to mall and buying toothpaste.

She made it impossible because she's not attracted to you that way. The same way you would make it impossible for a 200lb girl to feel you up and touch your privates.

I came to the conclusion today that she's always going to keep me in friend zone from here on and that I need to give up on her. Problem is I actually have deep feelings for this one, so I don't want to give up.

The idea of simply giving up means admitting I don't have a chance with someone I want to be with. I've made the mistake of making this girl everything to me and it feels extremely lonely to realize noone gives a **** about you.

Guys get so confused about this, it's not about how YOU feel, it's about how SHE feels. You want to be so good that she falls in love and says please have sex with me and you refuse, rather than being a normal guy wanting to touch her and her being uncomfortable.

Another way to think about it is, what does she get out of you touching her? Girls want to be associated with greatness, with power, with confident guys, the same way everyone does. For her to be associated with a guy who thinks of himself as no one is not good for her.

I can tell by your initial post and the way you are writing it all about "you, you, you." Bro, do something awesome that will help society and that girl will come begging for you to touch her. What she won't do is let you touch because you are a guy and horny.

 

[FortunaFides]

Had a girl I was casually dating for a few months. I got too attached and backed off 100%. I managed to piss her off since then. We started hanging out again recently but I got frustrated. She made it impossible to flirt or escalate things. I came to the conclusion today that she's always going to keep me in friend zone from here on and that I need to give up on her. Problem is I actually have deep feelings for this one, so I don't want to give up.

The idea of simply giving up means admitting I don't have a chance with someone I want to be with. I've made the mistake of making this girl everything to me and it feels extremely lonely to realize noone gives a **** about you.

It's not your problem, dude. It's her loss. She'd rejected you and rejected a chance to happy with a decent guy who actually cares. Walk away. Go bang some other chicks. If word gets around that you are moving on and attracting other women, that's the best way to get her interest back up.

Everything is a matter of perspective. What girls are out there that you are missing out on because you're clinging to this chick?

 

[dap]

It's not your problem, dude. It's her loss. She'd rejected you and rejected a chance to happy with a decent guy who actually cares. Walk away. Go bang some other chicks. If word gets around that you are moving on and attracting other women, that's the best way to get her interest back up.

Don't count on it, and God help you if this is your plan. You simply need to move up. I agree, watch swingers. Also, there is some great advice here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886