Bad date #5. Furious.

[SteveBlaine]

I had another bad date that wanted to start out sexting(texting) before we met. I'm tired of the drinking and dates leading nowhere. Dates should be about you and the girl---not the atmosphere.
She said she wanted to spend the night, etc at my place. I told her no. I said lets meet first to see if we like each other. I met her online and saw photos.
She drove 1 hour to see me and I chose a bar far away from my home because I didn't want to feel obligated to have a chick to spend the night of my place because she was too drunk to drive home. So I met her at a bar 20 min away (closer to her home).

I knew right away that there wasn't a spark for something romantic with the person, but they were still really cool and awesome, and fun to talk to, interesting, etc. I also get excited talking to new people, so I send off a lot of signals for having a good time, and I know that might be a confusing for people. It led me to a lot of awkward endings too.
Anyway, she starts drinking right away. She shows up looking cute, tan and chubby. Anyway, we drank and drank and did some dirty dancing, but when she took off her jacket different story. I wasn't impressed with her body. Too fat.
I didn't want to have sex with her--but I was horny. I spent $15 into drinks and 6 hours with her on date and felt "invested." She was fun. She did grab my ass. I grabbed her butt a half dozen times. I had my hands all over her and she didn't mind, but just didn't want to kiss her. I just wasn't THAT into her.
It was a flip of the coin type of date. Fvck her or not? Heads or tails? In the end I just bolted on her and said goodbye and left. Too much pride to hump a girl I am not that into. Fun girl, just want someone slimmer.

Has anyone had date where the date is fun, but you are not into them....you were not sure whether to run or stay?

 

[pyros]

yes, it has happened to me.

Nowadays I dont go on dates with women I dont find sexy or bangable. Waste of time as you know now.

 

[JohnChops]

ive had it happen, honestly, I just leave. Forcing yourself to have sex with someone you aren't into is going to create a bad association with sex. Better off sticking to your standards.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I had another bad date that wanted to start out sexting(texting) before we met

Why did you bother going out with her? Who sexts with strangers?

 

[Roober]

Don't take women you are I'm attracted to on dates. Be more selective and you will enjoy yourself much more. I have a buddy like this. He will take out and bang any woman that gives him attention and he is a good looking guy too, no homo...

 

[SteveBlaine]

I learned a lesson -- if I am not sure about a woman -- don't do it.
These stressful entanglements happen when I lead with my d*ck. Need to stop doing that.

 

[Cosmos15]

The girl was obviously in it for the sex from the start. She's kinda scary.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She didn't want to date, she wanted to fvck. I do usually make them meet me at a bar first. But we just have one drink then go to my place and fvck. I don't really call that a date.

It's not like there's a shortage of women out there who will let you take them on a real date, if that is your thing. I gave up on dating a long time ago.

 

[SteveBlaine]

When I lived in a large spacious condo -- after one drink they were back at my place and gone that night.
Now that I live in a studio apt -- I don't do that because its so cramped.
I need a bigger place otherwise I like going to their place.

 

[SteveBlaine]

Men have learned that POF women are either hook ups or time wasters.
Some guys like myself try to hold out for long term potential, but do those types of women exist on POF?

 

[EyeBRollin]

You buy strangers supper for the first three dates. I guess that leaves little room for you to talk.

Like you said right here big spender:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...ding-too-much-on-a-chick.238780/#post-2401386

"You buy strangers supper for the first three dates."

That's an offensively blatant LIE. If you're going to quote me, get it right. I never even advocate dinner for the first date. Stop LYING.

 

[RangerMIke]

OLDing .... and you are making dates with expectation. Plan fun dates doing thing you like. If you are meeting for the first time, then it shouldn't involve alcohol. I have annual memberships at the New Orleans Zoo, Aquarium, and City Park.... I do lot's of first dates that start with coffee then walking in the zoo aquarium and park. One more thing... NEVER make a date with a woman that you are NOT physically attracted too, if you don't know... then don't make the date.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Two points, as is TMK's likely way:

I met her online and saw photos.

1) Here's your first problem. You're too chicken to talk to women in public that you are attracted to, so you rely on dubious online prospects; and most of them will be dubious. If you're going to go out drinking anyway, why not go alone, or with a friend (preferably alone). This is the only foolproof way to actually talk to people you find attractive immediately.

This girl basically offered it to you on a plate before she even met you; a hallmark of low quality if ever there was. As you hold such high romantic standards for yourself, why are you even bothering to meet this person?

6 hours with her on date

2) Far too long for a first date, even with someone you do like. You've wasted 4-5 hours of your life with someone who will play no part in your future. You could easily have bounced to another bar solo after an hour.

The sooner you start inviting higher quality people in to you life (and dis-inviting the low value), the more will come. Take that as the voice of experience.

 

[SteveBlaine]

Monkeyking...I doubt you follow your own advice in real life. If you did you wouldn't be on a don juan site.
I have followed that advice. You get shot down a lot. But who cares, I like to broaden my horizons in the dating field. I hit up women in real life, at malls, gas stations, banks, grocery stores, bars, clubs......and OLD sites too. I AM EVERYWHERE. Dont don't give me sh*t advice when I know you dont follow your own mantra.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Monkeyking...I doubt you follow your own advice in real life. If you did you wouldn't be on a don juan site.
I have followed that advice. You get shot down a lot. But who cares, I like to broaden my horizons in the dating field. I hit up women in real life, at malls, gas stations, banks, grocery stores, bars, clubs......and OLD sites too. I AM EVERYWHERE. Dont don't give me sh*t advice when I know you dont follow your own mantra.

Haa. Dude, this is an anonymous site, you know as much about me as I do you. So stop being so fcking emotional and chill the fck out.

For your information, I did go to a club on Friday night, on my own, was approached by five chicks, approached as many myself and kissed two of them. I would have happily taken any of them home at least for the night. My point was, why waste you time (SIX FCKING HOURS) on some dumpy bird you've never met who's clearly being ridden round town like a bike.

Take a long hard look in the mirror and quit emotionally sh!tting your pants over perfectly sound advice.

 

[SteveBlaine]

Ok then tell me MonkeyKing...how do you get 5 women hitting up on you in a club and in your junk? You kissed two of them...OK what kind of slick clothes and cologne are you wearing?
No way does a dude get that much tail approaching him in a club when women's defenses are up. You must either have a face like James Dean or you are in the movies.

No amount of inner game gets 5 women approaching a man in a club. You either have a hot face or you're famous. Which is it? Post a pic.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I dress smart-casual with fitted Italian styling in mind and I wear moderately cheap cologne. I also go to places where I will stand out from the crowd and I am comfortable, with music playig that I like. I also work out regularly, look after myself reasonably well, groom efficiently and don't drink too much, unlike the other 80percent of guys.

These things are really academic though. I embrace everyone equally, am friendly and go out with a positive state of mind with zero expectation nor fcks given. Attitude and vibe are 99% of attraction.

I've done the online sh!t, and trust me, have come off worse on more than one occasion. It's real life encounters or nothing for me now. Take that as you please, it's the benefit of my experience for what it's worth.

You're sitting here complaining about a good date with a chick you didn't want but equally declining my solution outright. You're only defeating yourself.

Girls who are out on the town in bars and clubs are mostly looking to meet someone. Fair, I took noone home on Friday, but I'm cool with that. Sometimes that's the way the dice roll. You're complaining at life, yet unwilling to accept third party advice. Strikes me you're just here to moan, which granted is easier than seeking to change and resolve the issue at hand.

 

[SteveBlaine]

That is some smooth advice...attitude and vibe is 99% of attraction. I used that on a few occasions in club and nailed a few girls.

I like the real live action better. No expectations. Good stuff!

 

[marmel75]

Well, I am not sure what I'm reading here...

Are you saying NONE of the women you went on those 5 dates were was attractive or are you saying that some were and they just went poorly?

If it's the former, you need to screen better before hand, which I know is hard if you are meeting women online...they have a myriad of tricks they use to not appear 30 lbs heavier than they currently are...

If it's the latter then you might not be "in the zone" as I would say....that's the zone when you've gone on enough dates to the point that you are so confident you already know the date is going to turn out great ahead of time and that you can bang this chick tonight if you want...and in most cases that is exactly how it turns out because you project such a confident, manly image of yourself and give zero consideration to anything she does or doesn't do, she has no choice but to be attracted....

So I guess you need to clarify WHY all 5 dates were terrible...

 

[EyeBRollin]

My bad. You said you pay the first three dates. And you went on and on about paying , and about how much you can afford it, and other's can't.

I didn't say you can't afford it. My point was being cheap and dating don't go together.

So I assumed you at least took them for a meal. I didn't realize you were all hot air.

I assumed you could read. Didn't realize that was such a challenge.

Let's cut to the chase here.

If a woman feels LUCKY to be with you, she will have no problem paying her own way.

What does this have to do with having social skills? Do you invite your clients out and tell them to pay their own way?

Learn to make them feel lucky to be with you.

Don't need help in that department.