Bad breath

[Die Hard]

Am I stupid?

I met this chick at a party and although her face was mediocre, she had a GREAT ass! I would looooove to bang her real hard doggystyle and look at that ass, DAMN!

But her face, meh. She's not ugly but I don't feel any desire to kiss her at all... And she had bad breath... So anyway, I walked her home from the party and I knew I wasn't gonna bang her because there were other people in her home, she had to get up real early and she isn't the type of girl who goes that fast anyway. But I could go in for the kiss close and say goodbye, then setup a date and go in for the kill, enjoy that great ass of hers (YUM!)

But I just couldn't, lol. I sensed that she was ready for the kiss close but her face just doesn't do it for me and she had bad breath, plus she has kind of a stupid personality which turns me off. I had no desire to kiss her... The only reason for kissing her, would be to advance things towards sex (DAT ASS!).

Well, I just kissed her on the cheek and said goodnight, THE END, lol. I'm pretty sure I will see her again soon through my social circle, so nothing's lost. But here's the thing, I've actually talked to her some other time before today, and I believe she had some bad breath that time as well... So now I'm thinking "What am I gonna do next time, if she has bad breath AGAIN?! Just get over it and kiss her so I can advance towards banging that fabulous ass? Or have an abundance mentality and find myself another chick with a great ass?"

She's just stupid, her personality turns me off... Plus her face is barely goodlooking enough to kiss her, plus she has bad breath. All negatives... But then there's her nice juicy ass and it just turns me on as a motherfvcker! I was walking behind her at one point and could barely keep myself from bending her over and doing her real hard!

Can't I just bang her without having to kiss her?

 

[HoneyHitter]

This is where a dominant hug (not clinging!) and setting a naturally playful pace comes in handy.

 

[Albatross953]

Go to liquor store, buy booze with a paper bag. Share booze, put bag on her head. Bang.

Problem solved, you're welcome.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Stick guaze in your nose. Then when she asks what the guaze is for, tell her that you got into a fight defending a woman's honor and broke your nose. Boom! Win/Win.

Added bonus: If her breath stinks, then no telling what Dat Ass is going to smell like. Now you won't have to worry about that either!!

 

[Zunder]

Since you seem intent on invading her pooper hole, just imagine how bad her pooper hole smells if her breath is anything to go by...it means her internals are full of candida and other stuff that makes her innards all smelly.

And just imagine you banging away inside her sphincter, and then you pull out to readjust or whatever, and you get a whiff of her stinky pooper wafting up your nostrils.....

lol you sure you still want to invade her azzhole with your johnson?

 

[goldengoose]

You might not even get inside her ass but as Zunder said, her ass and pvssy probably smell just as bad as her breath. If a chick isn't taking care of her oral hygiene she most likely isnt taking care of the rest. what about when you take off her panties and see a nice skid mark inside or when you bend her over you see dried sh1t caked on her ass that stinks so bad it knocks your socks off. Just something to think about dreaming of her juicy ass.

 

[Zunder]

Oh man, I remember I stole this girls panties years ago after I banged her one night, you know stuffed them in my jacket as I was leaving her room, and get home and proceed to have a sniff of my stolen goods, and there this big brown skid mark down the middle of them!

 

[Die Hard]

This is well on its way to becoming the funniest thread I've seen in a while

I was drunk when I made the OP and it might also have to do with the fact that English isn't my native tongue, but I didn't actually mean I want to fvck her IN her ass. I just love fvcking big juicy ass girls (think Alexis Texas) doggystyle, watching their ass cheeks jiggle, hearing the "clap, clap, clap" sound as you pound them...

Seems kinda like a shame to waste that opportunity, you know

 

[Desdinova]

Ever go down on a chick and end up chowing on the toilet paper she left down there?

 

[speed dawg]

Hahahahahaha Zunder and goldengoose have this pegged already. It's the dumbass, stupid chicks (like this one) who typically have this problem. Stank breath, puss and ass is all symptomatic of just being a clueless toolshed of a woman. She's probably insecure too. Is that what you want? Crap like this will make you take that p*ssy off the pedestal for sure.

I had this b*tch in college that stank so badly the guy in the next room could smell it. I was hard up for some p*ssy but couldn't even get a hard-on with her. And she had the nerve to blame me and tried to shame, saying I wasn't a man because I wouldn't hit it.

 

[Married Buried]

She probably doesn't scrape her tongue she is too dumb to figure it out. That will make your breath reek you really want to kiss that bacteria infested tongue?

 

[Colossus]

I was hooking up with this girl a couple years ago who had ATROCIOUS breath...at first. Her body was bangin' and she had a cute face (most 21 year olds do), but something was seriously amiss with her oral hygiene. Not coincidentally, her pvssy smelled SO strong. Not necessarily bad...just really, really strong.

Long story short, I took a break from her for a while and she somehow corrected her bad breath, and, magically, her pvssy also became much more mild. Correlation? Perhaps.

 

[speed dawg]

I was hooking up with this girl a couple years ago who had ATROCIOUS breath...at first. Her body was bangin' and she had a cute face (most 21 year olds do), but something was seriously amiss with her oral hygiene. Not coincidentally, her pvssy smelled SO strong. Not necessarily bad...just really, really strong.

Long story short, I took a break from her for a while and she somehow corrected her bad breath, and, magically, her pvssy also became much more mild. Correlation? Perhaps.

It's likely that candida that Zunder was talking about, coupled with dehydration. That sh*t is real, it's not just a made up by environmental vegetarian wackos. Brushing your teeth won't help the p*ssy, so that's out. Very likely that the girl has a diet high in sugars (probably sodas), and those types tend to not drink enough water as well. High carb/sugar intake leads to candida growth and all sorts of problems.

 

[pdx1138]

Ever go down on a chick and end up chowing on the toilet paper she left down there?

haha ya, happened one time.

 

[Vulpine]

This thread had me laughing out loud...

just imagine how bad her pooper hole smells if her breath is anything to go by

:dryheave:

Ever go down on a chick and end up chowing on the toilet paper she left down there?

:yes:

That sh¡t's not funny like the rest of the thread, though.

...unless you "snowball" those buggers back to them.

Let's coin a phrase here, how about, "spit-balling"? That is, when you come back up to kiss them with those toilet paper pills all loaded on the end of your tongue and ready to deliver.

Reminds me of the old "What's the last thing a pubic hair hears before it hits the ground" joke.

Die Hard, your chick is a mouth-breather. Nothing says "bring on the funk" like a mouth agape. She is very likely dumb enough to get ƒucked without getting kissed. I mean, she isn't smart enough to keep her mouth closed...

Wait...

"she"

I guess I'm over-explaining.

No, wait...

Floss.
Make her get those toilet paper pills out of her teeth.

Then ƒuck her without kissing her.

 

[VladPatton]

Stank snatch, cranky ass, dragon breath...funniest fücking threads I've seen in a while here lmao.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm working on a brush that attaches to my DeWalt reciprocating saw. Just excuse yourself for a minute, go down there, start up the saw, insert gently and ream out on a medium setting. Be careful not to be too aggressive.

Hang an automotive air freshener there and you're good to go. I recommend "New Car Smell".

 

[glass half full]

This is all funny as hell! I needed a good laugh!
maybe recommend that Acidophilous is a good herb for "feeling better", and get her into eating yogurt...other than that like someone said, both of you can drink a lot, kinda eliminates the breath (most of the time) and bend her over and have at that azz...Or just take her swimming in a pool you know is highly chlorinated, that usually gets rid of any ***** smell (from my experience).

Or just get her from behind in the shower!

 

[VikingKing]

Start carrying gum, constantly offer a piece. If she says "no thanks" look at her seriously and say "are you sure?"

She will get the message.

 

[Albatross953]

I'm not sure whether I want to laugh or puke.