Bad advice

[ChumpNoMore]

Written by a woman, notice how she denigrates men and elevates the woman in the situation...

"So you want to hit on the bartender"...

http://www.seattleweekly.com/2009-02-11/news/so-you-want-to-hit-on-the-bartender/

 

[Mr. Me]

I didn't get that sense at all. It's about what a guy faces when he hits on a female bartender, and it sounded pretty spot on to me. I've known lots of female bartenders and what this one wrote sounds like the common scenarios.

There's a reason there's a high, wide wooden bar between the bartender and the patrons.

 

[DJDamage]

The worst thing in this article is the paragraph at the bottom:

The female bartender is perhaps the most jaded, cold, walled-off, and unapproachable member of the female species.

Unapprocahable yes if you approach her when she is really busy and you don't have much of a game going for you. She is a woman after all, don't need to equate her position of bartending as someone unattainable like other women. Equating her hotness with her behaviour is the right way of thinking because the hotter she is the more she is aware of her value and bartenders (or in the correct feminine terminology: barmaids) are usually very good looking otherwise the establishment wouldn't be making as much money if they hired fugly or avgerage looking barmaids.

Remember, she spends her evenings listening to men bull**** women. She gets hit on by the douche with the popped collar while his girlfriend's in the bathroom.

Most hot women listen to alot of men's bullsh1t anyway and more then half fall for it, if those men have a tight game and know how to sell it. Many barmaids are known to have several hooksups with their customers so calling the average guy who is hitting on her a "douche" is just as inappropriate as calling the average barmaid a "slut" (even though the average guy in a bar usually acts like a drunk douche and the average barmaids do sleep around alot.)

In her mind, men are predictable, ridiculous animals who can rarely be trusted, or worth her time.

Funny that is the exact same thing most men think of barmaids, they are only good for one thing only (err two if you count serving you a drink).

You still wanna date a female bartender? Well, you better be a pretty exceptional guy.

An exceptional guy wouldn't just go for barmaids, and wouldn't entertain the idea of a long term relationship with one.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

Are you fully prepared to step in a giant pile of awkward if she says no

Does a DJ care about awkward, or even feel awkward?

Bring a small gift

Ah yes, bribery! Because you company is certainly not enough remuneration for her time...

Make sure it has a clear start and end date

Yes, give her the the frame at the outset so anything beyond that is not pre-negotiated!

Remember, she spends her evenings listening to men bull**** women. She gets hit on by the douche with the popped collar while his girlfriend's in the bathroom. She mentally counts the number of sentences it takes a guy to work sex into the conversation, because they always do. In her mind, men are predictable, ridiculous animals who can rarely be trusted, or worth her time

Yup, all men are dogs and thus you are no different, she's on the moral high ground and we're all just jumping trying to claw a handhold at her feet...

IMO, bad advice from a sh!ttier perspective.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Before I go off on this, think about this article with the roles reversed. How many articles on the net do you think detail how women 'should' go about asking a male bartender out? Is he also not as exceptional a person, subject to the same set off conditions a female bartender might be? But because she is female, we're to assume she's a unique breed of woman, immunized against the psychological games and predation of the heinous "man in the club".

What this article amounts to is a personal ad for this individual; "here's how you can date me" prerequisites for her qualification. It's strikingly similar to the personal ad on the Absurd Laundry List thread.

Now, from a personal perspective (and you know I try to avoid these in my posts); I work in the liquor industry. There's rarely a week that goes by I don't deal with a bartender, male or female, at an event we're hosting, a club that we're launching something from, or tasting / mixer. We've had several company bartenders, all female, on our staff. Trust me, they're not some rare breed of animal. In fact I'll go so far as to say that the most attractive ones tend to be the worst bartenders. Anyone who's ever been to a Blue Martini knows that the model quality, gorgeous women there aren't hired based on their talent for mixing an exceptional mojito. They're not psychologists, they're not sociologists.

The author would like you to assume that female bartenders are on an equitable level with strippers:

Female bartenders flirt. It's how we pay rent. Don't mistake it for liking you just because there's no pole and we're fully clothed.

If you're ordering drinks at Ember in Orlando, or Nikki's Beach Club in south beach, she may have a point, but if you're at some windowless dive and the woman on the other side of the bar looks as if she just stepped out of her semi truck, not so much.

 

[decades]

right cuz every "exceptional" guy wants 30 men a night pawing at his GF, slipping her business cards, inviting her out for night caps. this is just what a guy wants in steady female companionship. A nice reserved young lady.

 

[horaholic]

Wow. I wonder how I've banged five bartenders, and have gotten close with at least five more, at my regular bar in the last three years. They arent good for relationships, but they're damn easy to game. I have better luck with bartenders than customers. At the very least, I get lots of free shots, out of the deal.

The way I see it, every time Im sitting and talking to the bartender, we're on a date, except they HAVE to talk to me, and they HAVE to see me again. Most of them end up attracted to me whether I try or not. If I can that mojo with cold approaches, I'll be set.

There's also no reason to be embarrassed if a bartender turns you down. They get hit on all the time, and they know you're drunk anyway. The only time its awkward is after you've fvcked and one of you is gaming someone else.


Two sisters were hired at my bar about a month ago. One of them came up and said, "I heard you think my sister's cute, and you have a crush on her."

I said, "Yeah, shes cute, but so are you, and dont worry... I have just as much of a crush on you too, so dont get jealous. And BTW I dont get real 'crushes.' I just paint targets on certain girls." I've K-closed both of them, and turned down their third sister.


That article is 100 percent bullshyt. Every word of it.

 

[Mr. Me]

I wonder how I've banged five bartenders

I'll tell you how: you didn't go about it in the same way the article describes. You had game. I think that's what the writer meant as being "exceptional", as in not like the typical male drone.

 

[STR8UP]

This is like saying that it's impossible to pick up a stripper. Hell, I'm sure it IS harder to pick up strippers, but I've made out with one and fukked another, so I KNOW they aren't "impenetrable".

Man, I worked in hospitality for YEARS. I could go on and on about how a female friend of mine, a hot half asian MILF hooked up with and married one of the customers at the bar we worked at, or any other number of things that would prove this woman is full of sh!t (as are most women), but frankly I'm getting tired of trying to prove that these pigheaded b!tches are utterly clueless.