Back to dating after LTR. I need some advice.

ubercat

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I would also think that making out with them a bit could string them along for a while. But by third date I d say make pipe or make tracks. Idk maybe gen next have learnt how to have stable female friends. Mine always avoided me like a stale fart once they got a man. Which probably means I could have fvcked them all if I d been interested :rofl:
 

evan12

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Disclaimer: I promise I am not a troll. I am genuinely asking for advice. Thank you in advance for reading.

I am a man in my early 30s who is new to dating after a LTR. Unfortunately, I was due to be married and things fell apart. I have been single for about 6 months and just moved to a large city for a new job. I decided to try out some dating apps and have had more luck than I anticipated. Things have gotten a bit overwhelming and I have actually had to pause my profiles on the dating apps so I do not get any new matches. While I am interested in finding a relationship, I am in no rush to get into anything serious as my last experience was pretty traumatic. Currently, I am talking to 2 women. I have gone on 1 date with the first (lady #1) and 2 dates with the second (lady #2). There was a lady #3, but I told her I was not interested in a second date.

I know it is okay to go on a few dates with multiple people before going for exclusivity, but I would rather not lead people on. I have date #2 with lady #1 tomorrow and am not sure if I will want to go on a 3rd with her. The thing is, both women seem pretty interested and have expressed an interest in coming over/moving things in a physical direction. I do not want to find myself in a situation where I am hooking up with multiple people at the same time. I would feel terrible about taking advantage of anyone's trust (but who knows...they may be hooking up with multiple people). In any case, I want to do my best to play by rules that I am comfortable with.

Here is my question:

1) How do I politely reject any physical advances or an invitation to go back to my place or my date's without coming off as weak/insecure? I my date tomorrow (lady #1) may want to come over or move things in a physical direction. I really just want to take things slow and determine who seems like the better fit before jumping into anything physical.

Thanks guys. I would also appreciate any advice or pointers you have on getting back into the dating game. It has been a while for me.
women hint but never ask to escalate, if they did , say something like you are busy or at this moment you dont want to do such or such , how they will interrupt it is that you already have another woman and you want to weight your options. so you will not come as insecure
 

Blacksheep

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I would advice you to learn to spot some traps women can play on you. You seem to be a good guy and people can use it to their advantage. I'm not saying its wrong to be a good person, but if you were married a long time, things are a bit different on the dating market, specially on online dating.

If you show that honesty or trying to be the guy who doesn't want sex in the first date could lead to some woman playing that game to trick you. Be careful about that.
 

Roober

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Talk to every beautiful woman you encounter, at least just for the reps

Maximize your IG and dating app profiles and spend 20 minutes a day on that

Focus on your fitness and making money, and it willgradually come together
 
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