Back to Basics - 1st call or contact

[Chrispy]

Field report: contact after meeting

Guys, I keep needing to start back to the basics, and I am going to need to do it again and again. So my goal is to approach 100 women and to get their contact info.

First, people I go for are those I've met or hung out for at least a couple of times.

Does it matter to ask for a number or e-mail? I like to field e-mail before phone, and use that to massage getting the number. Sometimes the screening can gauge interest, sometimes not.

I don't always get contact info implying I want to go out - either it's really casual or it's something I leave open ended to follow-up with. Is that a good idea?

Regardless, I'm trying to establish RAPPORT. I also don't know at this point if the girl has a bf or not.

My problem is that my e-mail exchange fall apart after a few exchanges. I think I take too long. I read here you should get a # or do something after around 3 e-mails. What can I do to get better results?

Do you still keep it very casual? Do you invite the girl to some kind of group activity? Here I'm trying to keep it CASUAL.

Results so far.
Approach #1: Receptionist
Noticed the receptionist was checking me out a bit. So while waiting started conversation. Left it open about being interested in something she did (like a place) and asked for e-mail. I got the "you're coming back again" but when I asked again the next day, I got some b.s. about confidentiality. Obviously excuse so she wasn't interested.

Approach #2: Group outing
Hung out with a bunch of buddies and one brought some gals. Worked on 1 by getting a number. As she was leaving she gave a hug to everyone except for me. I call to set up going for lunch but got some excuse. Obviously she wasn't interested.

Approach #3: Group outing - girl has bf.
Asked a girl where all her friends were saying and asking about her bf. She never said it directly to me. Did the e-mail follow-up to do something but got indecision and stalling.

Am I doing anything wrong? I got the sense on first contact that they weren't too interested, but I go for it anyway. That's only 3 so i have 97 to go.

Any and all bashing and insight and feedback is welcome

 

[Bible_Belt]

Number close in the first or second email. Phrase it as an imperative sentence, like a command - "send me your number" not as a question. If she won't do so, accuse her of being some internet freak who won't talk like a normal person.

And when a girl disses you, insult her in a laughing way. I go too far sometimes, but strangely it is much more fulfilling for a chick to go off insulted than to get the afc nice guy friends treatment.

 

[iveyleeger]

Try not hitting on women at work or from friends. Go for fresh puzzy. If you mack all your guy's women or all the women at work you get a bad rep.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Re: Field report: contact after meeting

Originally posted by Chrispy
...So my goal is to approach 100 women and to get their contact info...

To a certain extent -- yes, it's a numbers game. Starting that way, though, is a waste of time. You have clues below -- pick quality hits (sounds like you're somewhat on the road there) and make your move, and then it gets to be a numbers game.

...I don't always get contact info implying I want to go out - either it's really casual or it's something I leave open ended to follow-up with. Is that a good idea?...

I think women read between the lines here. Keep it up, though.

...Am I doing anything wrong? I got the sense on first contact that they weren't too interested, but I go for it anyway. That's only 3 so i have 97 to go... That's your clue: your sense is that they weren't interested and you are likely right. Don't bother with the approach here, the numbers game here is worthless (or multiply your number by a factor of 10 if you're going to count any approach regardless of quality.)

 

[Chrispy]

Thanks Bible_Belt & TesuqueRed. I'll number close a little faster in my next "iterations" with better quality hits.

Speaking of clues, I sometimes get the "my boyfriend blah blah" (and they say it in a way to either elevate their status or to prooke me) slipped into the conversation, which is an immediate turn-off. D

Iveyleeger, these approaches aren't women from work or a guy's women. They are their casual acquantances. That said, I do flirt with office girls for kicks and for practice. After all, they are women! I look, but don't touch.

I'll keep this thread updated when I post further progresses. Again, I'm going to keep follow-up invites casual and very "no strings attached."

 

[al77]

Re: Field report: contact after meeting

Originally posted by Chrispy
Approach #1: Receptionist
Noticed the receptionist was checking me out a bit. So while waiting started conversation. Left it open about being interested in something she did (like a place) and asked for e-mail. I got the "you're coming back again" but when I asked again the next day, I got some b.s. about confidentiality. Obviously excuse so she wasn't interested.

Approach #2: Group outing
Hung out with a bunch of buddies and one brought some gals. Worked on 1 by getting a number. As she was leaving she gave a hug to everyone except for me. I call to set up going for lunch but got some excuse. Obviously she wasn't interested.

1. That was a sh*t test!!! "You are coming back again". She tested you... she tested if you wanted her. If you were persistent enough. If you were alpha, at least to some extent. and what you did? You.. agreed with her and shut up. She lost interest immediately.
What you could have done is to show her that you dont take her BS easily, i.e. just pretend she didn't say that phrase and continue the convo.

2. That could be a sh*t test too. she wanted to see if you really want her .. and what did you do? accepted what she did?
She obviously lost interest in you since she saw you were not that interested and she could manipulate you and you'd do nothing about it.
You have nothing to lose here: grab her.... gently and ask "Are you trading hugs for numbers tonight? I want you to give me both"
Just remember niceness wont give you anything.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Chrispy

Speaking of clues, I sometimes get the "my boyfriend blah blah" (and they say it in a way to either elevate their status or to prooke me) slipped into the conversation, which is an immediate turn-off. D

Chrispy,

You have to do something when she signals "my bf blah blah"...
if you feel she elevates her status.
I, myself feel I am too nice to chicks too often.

Do somehting that would make you feel "in charge" even if it looks a bit stupid and inappropriate:

After " my bf..." make a step toward her, wrap your hand around her waist and pull her bit with "Really? Which bf? The one that you dumped yesterday?"
If she doesn not react much, hold her closer.
Remember - you have nothing to lose if she has a bf. But you show her that you are a man nd you acknowledge your and her sexuality. She will remember...

You will feel much better and wont feel "slapped in teh face" with I have a bf thing.

 

[picard]

phone number is better way to contact her. Email is really not absolute way to reach her. She can just put your email to trash can. I sent email to a gal from a speed dating event but I never receive a response.

 

[Ricky]

E-mail is great.

I have on several occasions emailed a girl for two months and ended up banging her. This was a woman i met and got decent rapport with.

Ask for her number in e-mail. Alot of times they volunteer it.

I too am going for 100. I am making it simpler for this month. I will meet 100 new women. I don't even close for email with all.

I am at 12 right now. A little behind schedule to get all of them in, but the next two weekends will be record setting.

Right now I'm emailing two of them. Some of the others were very casual conversations or even with girls I found out had boyfriends.

 

[Ricky]

Chrispy

Also considering this to be talkign to 100 women takes the pressure off of approach anxiety.

I am realizing a very casual approach like you would take with an old friend is the best way to get rapport the first time.

Drop the ****y and funny. I have gotten laid several times just by establishing comfort initially. The catch is, they aren't sure if you are interested since it is such a casual conversation.