Back in the field again....

[BeExcellent]

Hi Epi,

You’re gonna be Ok. Therapy is good to work your shjt out, that requires self reflection and courage, so good for you.

If there are places around you where you can go to relax & get a bite & an adult beverage those are good venues. Dine at the bar in a higher end venue. You’ll meet people, polish your social chops and get out & about.

That’s how you get back into circulation. Get out some with your kids. Adult kids can be worthwhile wings.

Cheers.

 

[Epimanes]

Hi Epi,

You’re gonna be Ok. Therapy is good to work your shjt out, that requires self reflection and courage, so good for you.

If there are places around you where you can go to relax & get a bite & an adult beverage those are good venues. Dine at the bar in a higher end venue. You’ll meet people, polish your social chops and get out & about.

That’s how you get back into circulation. Get out some with your kids. Adult kids can be worthwhile wings.

Cheers.

I appreciate your sentiment. I always enjoy your posts and perspectives.

It feels weird to go to the bar near me alone lol... my son is not quite 19 (legal bar age here) and my daughter is 25, but I don't see her often. You bet I'll be taking him to the bar near my place once he's legal lol... only 2weeks to go. Haha.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

It feels weird to go to the bar near me alone lol.

Bro, you're at the age. Girls go to bars alone ALL THE TIME. You just don't realize it because they're almost immediately talking to someone as soon as they get in there. When I started going to bars alone, it was like a whole new world opened up to me. Girls would show up at a bar (alone) looking for a dude to bang, and then they'd see me (alone) and they'd come talk to me. I was a guy who was there for the same reasons they were, and I didn't have any idiot friends in they way blocking their pursuits.

 

[Epimanes]

Bro, you're at the age. Girls go to bars alone ALL THE TIME. You just don't realize it because they're almost immediately talking to someone as soon as they get in there. When I started going to bars alone, it was like a whole new world opened up to me. Girls would show up at a bar (alone) looking for a dude to bang, and then they'd see me (alone) and they'd come talk to me. I was a guy who was there for the same reasons they were, and I didn't have any idiot friends in they way blocking their pursuits.

Any tips for hitting bars alone? Lol

 

[member160292]

Hey brotha,
I’ve known your story prior, more than a decade ago. Given what you have been through, I’d say work on yourself for a bit, mentally, physically and emotionally. It’s a quick path to get laid, but higher risk of failure if you don’t try be your best

 

[Epimanes]

Thanks man... appreciate it.

 

[Rainman4707]

Well fvck..... I'm back in the field again and my Divorce is final (yay!)

Had a woman living with me for a bit after a year of dating Her. We lived together for 1.5yrs after so 2.5 yrs.. what a fkn mistake that was... ugh kicked her out before the "common law 2yrs" here in BC Canada... she liked to fvck alot.. way more than me... but I found out she was hiding debt and so I sent her on her way because otherwise.. the common-law thing would put her debt as partly my responsibility also... not having it.

Anyways... as a 44yo... things are not the same anymore in the dating world. OLD is hit and miss (couple dates but no sex, but that was my choice because I just wasn't feeling it and a couple catfishes)... I'm going to my work gym (no ones ever in it) but not as often as I should because family **** and work keeps getting in the way and run out of energy at the end of the day.

I'm reasonably fit... bald (mr clean is a good depiction) 6'2... 203lbs.. and honestly I'm feeling invisible to the world at my age.

The whole Me too thing is big here ... no one wants to be approached and everyone looks bitchy lol. Hard to tell who's my age or in my age range lol... I could hit on women at work there is tons of em... but I don't Wana **** where I eat.

Any pointers for an old guy like me? Lol...

Keep your head up, you seem a wise guy. Try to not let life get you down. We have to realise that life is a tragedy...find a purpose,,even if it's just going for a walk every day.

Cliche, but i would say focus on yourself.. I'm in a difficult realtionship now, but before that i like lots of guys would get frustarted with dating game. My life was that good though, that current dating work didnt get me down as much because i love my job and was travelling and deep in studies. There are a lot more things in life than women.

 

[Ricky]

Long walks have helped me these past few years. I love lifting weights primarily but decided to also add running into the mix once again once i had been walking alot again.

Getting that walk or run in in the morning clears alot of negative thoughts out of my mind

I think that would be useful to Epimanes. Tying the walks to listening to audiobooks or podcasts is good also.

 

[Rainman4707]

Everything is mental. Mind is very complex.

 

[Epimanes]

Keep your head up, you seem a wise guy. Try to not let life get you down. We have to realise that life is a tragedy...find a purpose,,even if it's just going for a walk every day.

Cliche, but i would say focus on yourself.. I'm in a difficult realtionship now, but before that i like lots of guys would get frustarted with dating game. My life was that good though, that current dating work didnt get me down as much because i love my job and was travelling and deep in studies. There are a lot more things in life than women.

Thanks man. Appreciate the sentiment. My heads high... I just do my shyt. Plugging away. Work out a bit... hunt a bit.. spend time with my dad working on the hunting cabin every other weekend. Spending time with my son too, he turns 19 next week. Legal age for bar here lol. I join him in a bit of mountain biking and gaming on pc.

I just recently joined the 4wd association, so gunna join in on a few "noobie" runs just to meet people who like the outdoors. My trucks isn't all jacked up.. just oversized tires on my 05 nissan pathfinder. I'm not a noob in 4wd due to hunting but should be a good social event none the less... who knows maybe meet someone around a camp fire.

Oh and work... I don't make 6 figures but it has tons of perks and flexibility. Consistent and reliable and great health/dental insurance and annual raises. Last one was 7%... so... its getting there. Been with same company for 21yrs.

I'd like a romantic companion.. but compatability is a must. Meeting someone organically would be nice, date apps are full of women that don't take care of themselves at my age and the younger ones all they do is "love to travel" ... I can't afford to just "travel the worl" every month... don't these women work?... pic after pic of women on holidays... must be simps filling that need. I just swipe left on those.

O well.... lol

 

[Epimanes]

Long walks have helped me these past few years. I love lifting weights primarily but decided to also add running into the mix once again once i had been walking alot again.

Getting that walk or run in in the morning clears alot of negative thoughts out of my mind

I think that would be useful to Epimanes. Tying the walks to listening to audiobooks or podcasts is good also.

Yup I get up an hour before I gotta leave for work... stretch.. do some body weight exercises to get blood flowing. I'm a bit of a night owl, so often I go to bed at midnight and I'm up at 6am... lol... when I do run or go for walks it's always after work when I get home.. or after a workout. I may look into audio books as that usually works better for me than reading.

Thanks... I appreciate the sentiment.

 

[jaymbrs]

Any tips for hitting bars alone? Lol

What tips do you need? Just go, order a drink and a bite to eat, talk to those around you. My tip is to do less thinking and more doing.

 

[jaymbrs]

Went to the pub last night alone and struck up a conversation with a woman sitting next to me. Not only did I get her number but she’s telling me about her single friends. Sometimes it’s that simple.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Well fvck..... I'm back in the field again and my Divorce is final (yay!)

Had a woman living with me for a bit after a year of dating Her. We lived together for 1.5yrs after so 2.5 yrs.. what a fkn mistake that was... ugh kicked her out before the "common law 2yrs" here in BC Canada... she liked to fvck alot.. way more than me... but I found out she was hiding debt and so I sent her on her way because otherwise.. the common-law thing would put her debt as partly my responsibility also... not having it.

Anyways... as a 44yo... things are not the same anymore in the dating world. OLD is hit and miss (couple dates but no sex, but that was my choice because I just wasn't feeling it and a couple catfishes)... I'm going to my work gym (no ones ever in it) but not as often as I should because family **** and work keeps getting in the way and run out of energy at the end of the day.

I'm reasonably fit... bald (mr clean is a good depiction) 6'2... 203lbs.. and honestly I'm feeling invisible to the world at my age.

The whole Me too thing is big here ... no one wants to be approached and everyone looks bitchy lol. Hard to tell who's my age or in my age range lol... I could hit on women at work there is tons of em... but I don't Wana **** where I eat.

Any pointers for an old guy like me? Lol...

Hit up Kelowna this summer bro

 

[Epimanes]

Hit up Kelowna this summer bro

Oh yeah? What's happening there? I will be in Princeton alot over summer working on the family hunting cabin on weekends.

 

[Michael Chief]

What's in your wardrobe? A man your age should have his classic men's fashion game on point. And don't use old man fragrances.

 

[Epimanes]

Nice jeans... blue and black. I keep a new looking set of each just to look fresh. Nice shirts... button ups... short and long sleeves of various colors and patterns. FittingT shirts... I also have a suit.

I have decent footware... a pair of ASICS... a nice set or work boots that are always clean and new looking. I do need new shoes thought... the ASICS are looking aged.

I wear Aqua di gio and Million Dollar colognes.. I vary it. And wear a Huawei gt2 pro watch.. I will have a fancy face set on it when I go out. I have a black leather jacket that's light\medium to wear over my shirt and a black belt I often wear.

*shrugs*

Overall ... I look tidy and form fitting and been told I smell nice.

 

[Michael Chief]

I also have a suit.

Have you already looked into getting more suits and learning more about them? Is the one you have bespoke and 100% wool? Got pocket squares, tie bars, and cuff links? You got matching leather belts and shoes that match the color of your suit?

You're getting to an age where it can work really well if you're "overdressed" everywhere you go. Older men can get away with that and be sexy as fvck. Imagine fun sugar daddy. What you don't want to do is to look like you're trying to dress casually to fit in with the younger crowd. Dressing more formally will make it look like you're owning your age.

As for watches I would recommend going either full on Apple watch if you like smart watches or one of the classic luxury brands from Seiko to Omega to Patek, depending on what you can afford. Smart watches that try to look somewhere in the middle just end up looking cheap.

 

[Epimanes]

Yup pocket squares that match ties... shoes thay match belt... wool yes.. I only have one suit though. The Huawei GT2 pro looks pretty sweet.. not cheap at all... paid 400$ for it lol... I'm certainly not rich, and don't want to be a sugar daddy. The local pub that I can walk to, I don't think dressing up on my high end suit would fit in there haha. But maybe...

 

[Epimanes]

Went to the pub last night alone and struck up a conversation with a woman sitting next to me. Not only did I get her number but she’s telling me about her single friends. Sometimes it’s that simple.

Nice man... yeah.. I'll be visiting more to my local in near future. Definitely