back from another sh1tty date, what should i have done?

[big weezy]

so i picked up this girl last week outside of starbucks and i contacted her to go for a drink locally today.

she agrees, then about an hour to meeting she texts me 'hey im going to be a good 10 mins late, sorry' i dont know what this means exactly but it sounded like about 20-25mins late.

i said 'it's ok, im running late too, make it 7.40pm'

anyway at 7.40 shes not there, i call at 7.50 she tells me shes gona be another 10mins, i go off somewhere and about 10mins later she calls to tell me shes there. i ignore the call and text her i'll be there in a sec as im nearby. i make her wait 5mins then i go meet her. i dont think she was bothered cos she was inside a starbucks chilling, prob shoulda made her wait longer or outside to show her what it feels like.

anyway shes in charge of interviewing the new roommate for her house as 1 of the housemates has left suddenly.

so the first 20mins of the date went ok, not great then suddenly she remembers she has to take calls for the new potential roomates inquiring if the room is available etc

this was f'ing annoying.. she kept taking calls every 2 mins.. she kept saying 'oh im so sorry its rude i need to take this call'.. it was starting to p1ss me off so eventually i told her 'why dont u just call them back later..' she goes 'are u crazy it'll cost me so much in phone calls'

from then on i just pretty much ignored her while she was on the phone looking around the bar, when she was off a call she'd be texting another potential roomate.. i didn't bother looking at her.. couldn't really be bothered to answer her questions.

then she goes 'so what are u doing tonight?' i go 'nothing i got to go hospital tomorrow morning' i ask her what shes doing she goes 'oh not much i have to go soon'

i put on my coat and she goes 'are u leaving?' i go 'yeah' she goes 'ok.. i need to just charge my phone for 5mins but u can go'

i stayed for 2mins then got fvcked off as she went off to take another call about the housemate..

what should i have done in this situation?

she's a cheap b1tch not wanting to just call later obviously the date wasn't going well at that point.. i get up to go and she waves nervously and i barely give her a glance and just walk off. shoulda done it sooner.

felt disrespected.. even towards the end i was gettign fed up of her stupid test questions.. of like 'what do u do during the day' 'do u live at home with your family' etc etc.. i just barely answered them cos i knew they were stupid test questions.

she didn't even apologise for her behavior.. obviously there was no interest but i feel like i shouldnt bother going on dates with girls like this anymore.. i couldn't be bothered cos i wasn't even that attracted to her and really not in the mood to make conversation.. yeah i woulda fvcked her but i really couldn't be bothered for all the talking that needs to be done in between. good thing i spent barely 5 bucks.

 

[joverby]

Dude, you should've left as soon as the b1tch started taking calls like that.

Well first maybe made a playful joke about it. But with how she was brushing off even being there on time then combined with the fact she is using your date time together to just interview people on the phone is mad disrespectful and shows she really doesn't like you very much. Think she would've been conducting interviews if she was on a date with Brad Pitt?

You should've just left if she continued to do it after making a joke or saying something about it. Your time should be more valuable to you than that.

I "cold approached" this chick at a bar when I was at a Jimmy Buffet pre-party at this bar(read my field report for the full awesome story) and she was texting on her phone and told me to hold on a second.(She was hot too) Being the aspiring DJ that I am, decided I was more valuable than that and I wasn't going to wait around like a little puppy for her to give me attention. I walked off and started talking to my buddies.

Know what happened next? She walked up to me a little bit later and started talking to me me. Know why? Because almost every other dude would've done what you did and just sat around and waited. Don't do that. It's rude of her and your time should be more valuable.

If you'll read my story you will see this chick I'm talking about had a boyfriend there and wanted to fvck me, because of some game I'm still shocked I pulled off, worked.

 

[Jariel]

This has happened to me once before and I knew straight away she wasn't interested. If a girl so much as checks her texts while you're on a date, it's a bad sign. All the girls who have been into me on a date tend to turn their phone off or if it rings they'll ignore it.

In future, if I'm on a date with a girl using her phone I'll be the one to cut it short.

You say you picked her up outside Starbucks. Did you build any rapport with her, either in person, on the phone or via text messages? It could be that you had no connection with her and it was destined to fail before you even went on that date.

 

[perseverance]

You stuck around initially, I probably would have taken a rain check and not bothered with the date. I'm punctual and if a girl is going to make me wait, then there will be no date. If she is genuinely late, texts/rings me and apologises fair enough, but if she is still running late, I'll walk.

Secondly you sat through an entire date while she disrespected you by using her phone. If I was you I would have just cut the date short. I wouldn't have even said "bye" to her. I would have just gotten up and left without saying a word.

I'd say you didn't do anything wrongly really except be polite and courteous when she was anything but polite or courteous to you.

 

[yuppaz]

She did apologize for having to take the calls, and it sounds like she was in a mad scramble to get a room mate. I dunno, I wouldn't have liked it either but I would have understood, to a point. I probably would have also thought that it showed interest that she came out to meet up with you even though she was in that situation. I also don't think those were test questions, she was probably just trying to make conversation with you, but you were so livid because of the interruptions you weren't in the mood for them.

Tough spot, to win in a situation like that really the only thing you can do (if you wanted to) would be to tell her that you understand she is in a tough spot with her roomate sit. and you would like to get together, but only when she is able to give you her undivided attention, if she can do that to get in touch with you.

Never to anyone's benefit to burn bridges. Also not in yours to take disrespect, but it sounds like a special situation that may have not come up the next time. Also by setting the rules like that you are showing her that you respect yourself and your time as well as hers & it's a good start, also shows her your strength..which is good.

Keep at it bro, find the balance between what's actually full disrespect & someones / your own insecurities. Realize them and improve on them.

 

[joverby]

She did apologize for having to take the calls, and it sounds like she was in a mad scramble to get a room mate. I dunno, I wouldn't have liked it either but I would have understood, to a point. I probably would have also thought that it showed interest that she came out to meet up with you even though she was in that situation. I also don't think those were test questions, she was probably just trying to make conversation with you, but you were so livid because of the interruptions you weren't in the mood for them.

Tough spot, to win in a situation like that really the only thing you can do (if you wanted to) would be to tell her that you understand she is in a tough spot with her roomate sit. and you would like to get together, but only when she is able to give you her undivided attention, if she can do that to get in touch with you.

Never to anyone's benefit to burn bridges. Also not in yours to take disrespect, but it sounds like a special situation that may have not come up the next time. Also by setting the rules like that you are showing her that you respect yourself and your time as well as hers & it's a good start, also shows her your strength..which is good.

Keep at it bro, find the balance between what's actually full disrespect & someones / your own insecurities. Realize them and improve on them.

Dude, first of all. She showed up late. Not a good start. Cool, she told him so we can move past that. Secondly, why on earth would she go on a date when she's on this "mad scramble?" Not very respectful.

I still stand firm that she would've been neither late or been rude enough to continue taking calls the entire time if he was Brad Pitt. I guarantee she wouldn't of.

I think the most mature / frame related thing you could've done. Would be to cut it off immediately when she took the first or at the least second call. Just say something about how you'd like to get to know her but it's clearly not a good time and would like to when she can w/o having to take constant calls.

You're right in a way but you're definitely giving her too much slack. That sh1ts just rude / stupid, man.

 

[perseverance]

Yuppaz, she should have rescheduled. I'm sure the OP wouldn't have minded (I know I wouldn't). She treated this date like it was unimportant and she wasted the OP's time, he could have spent that time doing something else. She didn't respect him or his time, so he owes her nothing.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

It sounds to me like she wasn't trying to be rude, rather just lacked appropriate etiquette. But even then, why waste time with a woman that's not mature enough to recognize her own rudeness?

If she was smarter, she would have realized how busy she was and asked for a later date.

 

[yuppaz]

Dude, first of all. She showed up late. Not a good start. Cool, she told him so we can move past that. Secondly, why on earth would she go on a date when she's on this "mad scramble?" Not very respectful.

I still stand firm that she would've been neither late or been rude enough to continue taking calls the entire time if he was Brad Pitt. I guarantee she wouldn't of.

I think the most mature / frame related thing you could've done. Would be to cut it off immediately when she took the first or at the least second call. Just say something about how you'd like to get to know her but it's clearly not a good time and would like to when she can w/o having to take constant calls.

You're right in a way but you're definitely giving her too much slack. That sh1ts just rude / stupid, man.

If she's a younger girl, and it sounds like it, then they don't quite have the correct social etiquette yet, and it didn't sound intentional. It may have also been a one time thing. I agree with you that cutting it short probably would have been the best move, but I personally wouldn't have stormed out, even if bothered I would have made it like it was not that big of a deal, because to me it wouldn't be...but I also would have kind of told her what I expected the next time (if I wanted one).

 

[The_411]

ABC = always be charming. Don't make her the good guy by being rude. Jsut say something like, "Sweetheart, take care of your housing situation or we'll never be able to fall in love. I'll head out so you can get settled and be over at my place later tonight."

It's ballsy but it shows that you're being forward charming and basically saying I'm not interested in coming second to your errands/tasks/chores etc.

 

[big weezy]

If she's a younger girl, and it sounds like it, then they don't quite have the correct social etiquette yet, and it didn't sound intentional. It may have also been a one time thing. I agree with you that cutting it short probably would have been the best move, but I personally wouldn't have stormed out, even if bothered I would have made it like it was not that big of a deal, because to me it wouldn't be...but I also would have kind of told her what I expected the next time (if I wanted one).

I 'think' she's 27.. she was just being a cheap b1tch not wanting to call the housing roommates later.. generally speaking i prefer to avoid these types of women who's financial situation isn't great/struggling to survive cos they're usually looking for a man to pay for them all the time or b)do things like above as i mentioned.

however it is true that if she was interested in me she wouldnt' dare take the phone calls and potentially ruin her chances with me, she clearly already knew.

i should have walked out sooner.

 

[joverby]

Sh1t.....Wrong thread.

 

[Zarky]

when she was 10 minutes late, that was ok, but after that you should have walked.