Bachelor/Bachelorette party = Failed Marriage 100% of the Time

[The Logical Player]

Let's first define what a bachelor/bachelorette party is for the purposes of this thread - the groom-to-be/bride-to-be have one last night of partying with strippers/escorts and end up hooking up with one of the strippers/escorts (by hooking up, it could be kissing, sex, t1t grabbing, p*ssy touching, anything that would be considered pretty much cheating in a serious relationship).

I have a little theory for you all that can explain why so many marriages fail these days in the westernized world. It all has to do with the mindset that the two adults who are getting married have, and that mindset is SCREWED UP in the head.

If either party desires to have a Bachelor or Bachelorette party (or both), then the marriage is doomed to fail. This is because, by having one of these parties, you are essentially saying that you are getting married not because you truly WANT TO, but because you feel like you HAVE TO, which is why there is this urge to "hook up and party with another girl/guy one last time". You pretty much have no business getting married if you actually feel that there is a need to HOOK UP with some random hors just says before your wedding, how counter-productive is that to the beautiful thing known as love?

If one was truly in love for life with someone else, they would be disgusted at the idea of a bachelor/bachelorette party.......how unromantic is it to get all close to some random hor/man-hor just days before your wedding.

THIS IS BECAUSE MOST OF THESE IDIOTS GETTING MARRIED ARE CLUELESS ZOMBIES JUST DOING WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED TO DO, as opposed to EDUCATED, WELL SEASONED men and women who WANT the lifetime committment of marriage.

Having a bachelor/bachelorette party sets up the marriage to be a failure, because at least 1 of the parties is subtly admitting to the fact that they are settling for something that they not truly DESIRE, thus the urge to party it up with a bunch of strippers and slap the media-driven "bachelor/ette party" term on it to cover up the TRUTH - TRUTH being that the whole marriage is just a process that these MORONS think they need to go through, when really they are secretly not ready for a lifetime committment.

And this, is the core, of why so many marriages fail - The "need to get one more out of my system" mindset.

EDIT - stupid stupid 10 post rule

what does a bachelor/ette party celebrate? It celebrates the last night of "freedom" - and THAT is a very messed up mindset to go into a marriage with, yet fools do this, and then are surprised that they end up divorced - these are chumps who had no business getting married in the first place.

 

[speed dawg]

Interesting subject. But I would argue that most people, women or men, in a purely physical sense at the very core, are still going to desire other women and men in a sexual way. That never goes away. It's human nature.

So are you telling me that, say in a lifetime of marriage, an well-seasoned man is NOT going to have any primal urges to go out a fvck strippers? Even preachers have to suppress sinful desires, dude.

I think it's more dangerous to marry for sexual reasons only. That's must my own opinion. I'll be watching this thread.

 

[Luthor Rex]

they are looking at marriage as a prison. Who in his right mind would willfully go to prison?

I think this is really the core of it all.

 

[Nutz]

I don't think I've ever heard *anyone* say that a bachellor(ette) party is a free pass to screw around. In fact I'd go as far to say if someone found out their spouse to be messed around with a stripper or something that they'd be liable to break up with them. As a matter of fact there's a cheaters episode on the topic I posted a few weeks ago.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

In 1996 I had a bachelor party, including strippers at 3 clubs (one my friend owns). I can't remember how many lap dances I had, one just kind of blended into the next. I was a little buzzed, but never sh!t faced drunk. I got t!tties, asses, legs, cooters, and various lingerie draped on me for about 3 or 4 hours. All of my groomsmen and at least 6 other guys from my crew went out and had a great time.

A week earlier, my wife had gone out with about 8 of her friends for her bachelorette party. They played the goofy games that girls do on bachelorette parties, I'm sure she danced with other guys, they even had pictures, which we didn't because the clubs kind of frown upon that. The only thing that I was jealous of was that her best friend had hired a limo for them and we drove our cars to mine.

This was almost 13 years ago now. We're still very happily married. In fact, she asked me if it would be OK if her Ex came to our wedding. I didn't have a problem with that. Want to know why? Because I'm the Man she married, and I'm the guy she's been ƒucking for over 13 years now. My wife knows my history and I know hers, and we're both mature enough to accept that we're human beings that wanted to get laid long before we met. We're mature adults who understand that we're going to find other people attractive. My wife jokes with me all the time saying that when I stop getting turned on by attractive women that's when she'll worry.

I understand your concern, but you need to come to terms with where it originates - in your own insecurity. Men and women generally live in this Pollyanna world where no one has any desire for anyone else than themselves. As I've stated on countless GNO threads before, if a woman wants to go out with the girls for a night, let her go. If a person is going to cheat on you they'll find a way to do so without you ever knowing. Granted, if it becomes a routine you have a problem, but that goes deeper than just GNO. In 13 years, my wife's been to her bachelorette party and 2 GNOs. Her desire is for me, but the moment I possessively forbid her (much less discourage her) to go out with friends, I look weak. I've just communicated that I'm not a commodity, and I have no confidence in generating new options.

Conversely, in my career I'm at promos, product launches, tradeshows, mixers, martinifests, etc. sometimes in Europe, Panama, and in other states, and I'm surrounded by beautiful women at these events. It's generally work, but do I enjoy the company? Bet your ass I do. When I get back from these events I'll show my wife the pictures of the event girls and all. We'll rate the ladies together while we do, and it's always fun when there's body-paint girls. It's not that a bit of jealousy doesn't enter into it, but that's part of maintaining competition anxiety. Mrs. Tomassi knows my desire is for her, and my behavior bears this out (as often as she's ready). She's an HB8 to me, even at 44. I know damn well she'd have little problem cheating on me or hooking up with a new guy if I cheated on her. I'm no slouch either, I have more opportunity to cheat than most men deserve in a lifetime and she knows my attentions are in demand. We have a mature, mutual respect for each other in recognizing this. I've cheated on several women in my past, but I've never cheated on my wife.

So don't think bachelor parties are the kiss of death. It's not the event, or the intent behind it, it's the person you are and the person you're with and your desire for each other that make or break a marriage. I have buddies married longer than me who I attended their bachelor parties, and who are still going strong with 4 kids. I also know guys who married their church camp GFs, wouldn't have dreamt of having a bachelor party who're on marriage #3 now.

 

[Trader]

First off, the thread title is a bit ridiculous since there is no 100% direct correlation between bachleor parties and a failed marriage.

I agree with the original poster's thought process - why would you even want to fool around with other girls if you've already found the one you love? This encourages the mindset that marriage is painful confinement.

Rollo, I see the point you are driving at - that if a husband or wife wants to cheat, he/she wants to cheat. But you are also speaking in extremes here. Cheating is a function of love/interest and self-control and opportunities. If you allow yourself to be put in very very tempting situations, there is more of a chance you will succumb, all else equal. Why not have a relationship where some lines are drawn as to what is and what is not acceptable.

It is obvious that your relationship with your wife has IMPLICIT lines that are drawn, thus she only goes on those girl's night outs' once in a blue moon.

 

[slaog]

Its a good point OP. Anyboy who feels like marrige is a prison and wants to cheat in those parties should not get married. It means the marraige will fail.


But by having a bachelor/bachelorette party it doesn't mean you want to cheat.


In general I think those bachelor/bachelorette parties are stupid.

 

[Fuglydude]

Haven't posted in forever.

But getting to the pertinent matter... I don't think its fair to say categorically that stag/stagettes lead to 100% marriage failure. I think these parties are just an excuse to party hard, have fun and hang with your friends!

I work part time as a male entertainer, and I've performed at well over 100 stagettes for all sorts of women... Everything from girls who have modeled in Maxim, to obese, unattractive women. Women's reactions can vary, but the majority of women can be kinda crazy at these events! I have a lot of hilarious stagette stories. At the last one I performed at, there was a point when I had 3 girls licking whip cream off me at the same time, including one off my crotch... haha, yes i had underwear on haha.

However, with regards to being propositioned for sex it doesn't happen all the time. When it does happen it is usually the friends trying to encourage one of the single girls at the party to hook up with you.

Great argument Rollo...

 

[mikeraw]

This is the second thread by Logical Player that I've read that talks in ABSOLUTE terms... black and white. I think the other one I'm thinking of was about girlfriends...

Anyways, although it IS an interesting topic, I don't think it's so drastic, mostly because many a bachelor party is the result of peer pressure on the part of friends. I know I've instigated them.

I've never been married, but I have been at plenty of my friends' bachelor parties and I've seen both extremes that contradict the OP: one friend in particular that we hired a bunch of strippers for to throw him a private party in Nicaragua ended up screwing at least 2 of them and now, 3 kids later, he is very happily married.

At the other extreme, I've seen guys not even look at girls during their bachelor parties and they're now happily divorced.

All I'm saying is that few blanket statements carry much water.

 

[Tazman]

In my experience, bachelor parties are set up by close friends/relatives and it's sort of a tradition. I observed how my friend (groom) behaved at this one party and I could tell he was just doing it because it's expected of him. Hell, I did it too, but I wasn't into it like some of the other guys, it's just something about being in a room full of guys all feeling up on a couple girls that ruins it for me.

I believe love exists with or without marriage, in fact marriage has nothing to do with love. It's simply a tradition and/or for religious beliefs.

 

[The Logical Player]

guys, there is some good discussion going on here, but let me elaborate really quickly on what I meant with my thread:

I am only referring to bachelor(ette) parties where there is major physical contact between the groom/bride and the stripper/hor/escort, and the groom/bride WANTS it, as a final release before heading to prison (marriage lockdown) - going into marriage with that attitude guarantees a marriage to fail 100%, whether it be divorce, or a miserable life together till one of you dies, because the people that are getting married are totally clueless as to what TRUE LOVE is, and they are getting married for the wrong reasons.

Not surprisingly, the majority of people get married with this mindset, and people like Rollo and others who have success are the minority.

Keep in mind, EVERYTHING is connected, it's almost as if someone who is watching over everyone has a grand plan:

1) brainwash men and women to get married for the wrong reasons
2) ensure that divorce and child support laws favor women
3) create a society, over time, full of totally messed up people who grow up outside of the common family lifestyle that was so successful in the early 1900's
4) I really don't know where I am going with this haha

but something very fishy is up with how the classical concept of marriage has gotten so rotten, from bachelor parties celebrating the LAST DAY OF FREEDOM to all of the men who decide to willingly go to marriage-jail for no reason other than that is what they have been brainwashed to think, to women ruining mens lives with divorce, to kids growing up being raised by single mothers (and ending up MESSED in the head)

something is off.

Let's talk some theory here as to why our society has taken such a NEGATIVE turn when it comes to love and togetherness, despite our lives being made so much easier with medicine/technology/entertainment that is currently available to everyone.

It's almost as if everyone has TOO MUCH freedom, and we need to turn back the clock on all of the feminists and AFC's and bring relationships back to how they were in the good ole days.

Only in the 21st century, can a guy be such a liar, manipulator, hypocrite, and selfish p*ssy-loving mastermind player who gets everything he wants from women (including $$) like myself, while the nice simple breadmaker gets SCREWED to the fullest in his dating life

it doesn't add up people, IT DOESN'T ADD UP!!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

4) I really don't know where I am going with this haha

This had the potential of being an interesting thread up to the point of your last post which more or less sums up what you really wanted to get to; Some standard LMS extreme conspiracy diatribe about the end of mankind at the hands of militant feminists hiding in some secret bunker awaiting armageddon.

You're bordering on troll.

THREAD CLOSED.