Babysteps on Confidence

[AFC-Murdaz]

If you want real confidence, you have to start at babystep.
Do this:
1 - turn off your computer so you won't be distracted outside thinking "did I finish downloading this by now? am I still online? etc"
2 - go outside
3 - just go somewhere far far from your home where there is a lot of people
4 - do this straight for a week

The purpose of this exercise is to get used to the outside atmosphere instead of the home atmosphere.

You will learn nothing if you go out and say 50 hi's without having the real confidence because it's false you'll just go "ok, I think I'll say hi to her".

Confidence must be real otherwise gains will be slow.

Thanks, I hope it helped. I'm gonna go out now.

 

[oOh Nasty]

its actually not that bad of an idea.

 

[MackJr]

I don't understand how simply walking around a public place is going to build confidence.

 

[Sammo]

Originally posted by MackJr
I don't understand how simply walking around a public place is going to build confidence.

It will adjust you to the social scene, if you keep doing it you will eventually feel comfortable surrounded by complete strangers thus giving you the advantage over the majority of the population.

Good advice.

 

[AFC-Murdaz]

wow.. either everyone is a self-claimed expert or this forum is just dead
i notice almost every thread has like 2-5 response with over 200 views!?

i just want some response, i just want to know what people think rather, critics

 

[madgame]

I think the idea sounds good and everything, maybe Im gonna do it this week ;-) but im not quite sure if it`s that effective...I mean Im not on the computer 24-7 I do go places and everything and I have to admit, that im a social coward in some ways and dont feel too comfortable at places where there are lots of ppl. I just dont think doing this (especially not if its only for one week) will be a big help after all.

I might go out and try it though and judge this tip afterwards.

 

[Janez]

you can't build confidence if you computer geek and think that being behind computer is something fundamentaly wrong.

It is not. It is just your way of life. Everybody uses computer nowadays.

To build confidence the best thing is to accept you the way you are and don't let others to give you hard time.

 

[madgame]

I think AFC-Murdaz point is that spending TOO MUCH of your FREEtime in front of a computer is bad for your social skills and thus your confidence (when surrounded by other people).

But hey "Just be yourself"

 

[AFC-Murdaz]

Originally posted by Janez
you can't build confidence if you computer geek and think that being behind computer is something fundamentaly wrong.

It is not. It is just your way of life. Everybody uses computer nowadays.

To build confidence the best thing is to accept you the way you are and don't let others to give you hard time.

wtf? dumbass actually can't read, I never said spend time behind the computer, did I?

 

[khanboy]

This is great advice. The major block that I had to overcome when I first started, and still have to work with, is going out alone. I admit, I used to be terrified to leave the house and go places alone. Doing this PLUS trying to approach chicks, I was petrified, haha.

I kept going out every day, getting used to being out alone. Let's face it, if you are not comfortable being outside alone among strangers, how comfortable are you going to be mustering the courage to talk to one while out there?

It does get to me sometimes, seeing lots of people in groups, pairs, and crap like that, but whatever. "Being a man is a lonely business."

So I got over this being alone in public fear the same way I'm getting over the stupid approach fear, by doing it!

 

[AFC-Murdaz]

I'm glad it's helping you. That's my goal, to help people overcome what I once had to overcome.
Thanks for your feedback. I'd like some more.

 

[THA REALNESS]

That's good for peopel who have self esteem issues period but when it comes to DJ's ....if you are confident enough to talk to a stranger then you are confident to talk to a woman.And that's all the confidence you need to get laid ...enough balls to go walk up tp a chic and play her.



Regardless,it's a good excercise and a good post.

 

[madgame]

I'm glad it's helping you. That's my goal, to help people overcome what I once had to overcome.

I didnt really know you had used that method to overcome your fears...SO..did u see great results after just one week? just wondering...
Matter of fact, this is something u should do prior to trying to "destroy your social phobia" (like in that other thread)

 

[AFC-Murdaz]

yup, im not afraid of people as i used to be afriad of
i would stand far far far in the street from people
or i would sit down in the back of the train instead of the middle to front where all of the people are

i did it for a week and it works
now i just need to work on my social skill on people