Awww.. the lament of the "older woman"
- Thread starter MrLuvr
- Start date
I feel for her. I mean, she was sooooo supportive of her guy friends when they were in their early 20s having to watch other females of the same age group date older men and getting told that they aren't good or mature enough...
Wait, hang on, she didn't give a sh!t back then, did she?
I could barely hold my tears....
Wait, hang on, she didn't give a sh!t back then, did she?
I could barely hold my tears....
Drum&Bass
Master Don Juan
Being a slut in your 20's has nothing to do with anything. I've met attractive European women in their 30's who love sex and love men but have character, ambition intelligence and are fun to be around. These women have had WAY more sexual experiences and partners than me but I could care less.. I liked them, I liked being around them, I liked talking to them and I definitely enjoyed the sex.STR8UP said:
As a matter of fact I like sluts ! People who have more sex tend to understand the opposite gender much better and are more relaxed and level headed about life (granted they have good character). People who are uptight about sex aka prudes are usually miserable to be around..
I'm willing to bet a majority of the women who are bitter about not finding guys at an older age are having a hard time because of their personality.
Numbers mean nothing so I'll say this: A woman can be very attractive but if she sucks as a human being no guy is going to stick around for very long. If he does stick around its strictly for the sex. If a woman meets a base line standard of attractiveness and is awesome to be around, she won't be single for very long.
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squirrels
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The early 20s is the last age where women are truly "honest" with themselves.
When they're in college, they see it as a time to just "let loose" and do what they really WANT to do. Not just party/sex, either, but they see it as a time to embrace the things that really interest them, to become more interesting, more complete people.
When they get thrown back into society at age 22-23, most immediately crumble under the social pressure...they start "laying traps" for men, trying to snare them into a socially acceptable relationship because they think it's the "right thing to do".
Most men don't survive this. Especially between 25 and 28, most men get "snared" into a relationship.
If a guy survives being single until he hits about 30, he starts to realize all this sh!t that women his age are trying to pull. That leaves him with two options...."cougars" or "kittens".
D&B is right...women in their mid-20s to early-30s, if they're "real" and have character and are HONEST with themselves and what they want out of life, they don't "last" very long, because there are plenty of men out there who would die for something like that.
They say women mature faster than men. Physically, perhaps, they hit puberty sooner. But as far as spiritual and psychological maturity, men hit it a LOT sooner. Women are lucky to hit it at all these days.
When they're in college, they see it as a time to just "let loose" and do what they really WANT to do. Not just party/sex, either, but they see it as a time to embrace the things that really interest them, to become more interesting, more complete people.
When they get thrown back into society at age 22-23, most immediately crumble under the social pressure...they start "laying traps" for men, trying to snare them into a socially acceptable relationship because they think it's the "right thing to do".
Most men don't survive this. Especially between 25 and 28, most men get "snared" into a relationship.
If a guy survives being single until he hits about 30, he starts to realize all this sh!t that women his age are trying to pull. That leaves him with two options...."cougars" or "kittens".
D&B is right...women in their mid-20s to early-30s, if they're "real" and have character and are HONEST with themselves and what they want out of life, they don't "last" very long, because there are plenty of men out there who would die for something like that.
They say women mature faster than men. Physically, perhaps, they hit puberty sooner. But as far as spiritual and psychological maturity, men hit it a LOT sooner. Women are lucky to hit it at all these days.
I only gave the thread a cursory glance, but one intriguing remark came from Robert:
But hey, if you're sitting in a car parked on the railroad tracks and a train is coming, and you could perfectly drive the car forward, do we have any sympathy when the train hits? Nah.
This is something I have been noticing. The number of young women, at least in a metropolitan area as Orlando, who venture out into public far exceed the number of older women. It's seemingly as if women age out of socializing. Since the single woman who flies solo is extraordinarily rare, it's seemingly as if once their friends all hitch up in marriages, they can't find anybody to hang out with and thus they decide to hibernate in their caves rather than build social courage; hence, their reliance on their strategy of peer-to-peer friend sharing networks to find a date. It's pathetic.
But hey, if you're sitting in a car parked on the railroad tracks and a train is coming, and you could perfectly drive the car forward, do we have any sympathy when the train hits? Nah.
squirrels
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Sh*t, that's happening to me and I'm a guy! I mean, I still make it out solo, but girls inevitably ask, "Where are your friends tonight?"Deep Dish said:
I tell them the truth..."playing X-box...f*ck 'em".
It's astounding...once the first one gets married, they fall like dominoes.
I think it's funny to watch bachelorette parties. They're like funerals. So many of those women want to be out drinking and cutting loose and getting their freak on, yet then they couldn't hang out with their married friends on board-game night.
The single woman is like a splinter in the soul of her married friends, reminding them of lost freedom and excitement. They either need to get her a man, or stop associating with her.
I'm amazed by the number of married or boyfriended women that hang out at bars and nightclubs nowadays. Like, they're still going out and dancing, because their generation grew up doing that stuff for fun, but they try to shrug off the highly-sexed atmosphere of those places by staying in tight clusters and not letting men in.
A couple months ago, I ran into a clique of chicks at a local bar who were having a "girls' night out", complete with party-bus. Half of these girls were married or had serious boyfriends, but they were all out drinking and dancing and flirting.
Somehow I got sucked onto that bus. I had one girl sitting in my lap, letting me feel her up while she told me all about her awesome boyfriend. I had another one tell me, "If I weren't married, I would totally suck your d***", with her head in my lap. Some were showing off their panties (or lack thereof). As I was getting off the bus and heading back to my car, I had at least three of them grab my d*** through my pants...I probably should've just stayed on the bus, but I didn't want to leave my car in the city overnight, nor did I want to wear out my welcome and end up being the desperate tag-along guy. I did get one girl's number. I deleted it. I've been in a bad habit of doing that...copping girls' numbers and deleting them without calling them. But that's another story.
Women don't know WHAT they want. Which is why they all appear to want the same thing...because that's what all their friends want.
Men are loyal to truth first, then to their friends. Women are loyal to friends first, then to truth. A woman will convince herself to believe a lie if the truth means losing a friend's respect.
Nutz
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MrLuvr said:
HAHAHAHA!!!!! I posted in that thread the other day! Took some flack for it, but screw them. I made my point and it's solid advice.
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showpost.php?p=3383794&postcount=50
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showpost.php?p=3383926&postcount=54
OMFG! Dude, that's sooo true! Saw it all first hand unfortunately (getting trapped I mean). Now that I'm out and free in my early 30s it's just crazy how many options I have now.squirrels said:
I had to shake the ground a bit there myself:
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showpost.php?p=3402070&postcount=62
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showpost.php?p=3402070&postcount=62
Yeah just check out this thread:MrLuvr said:
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287088
Yeah tell me about it. I tried dishing some of my advice over there (Nutz backed me up) and it did reach a few men but the moderators there already deleted 2 posts of mine, and the hornets aka women and mangina's are really starting to get pissed at me, its like having a forum full of Iqqi's.MrLuvr said:
Funny thing about those kind of forums, they say its all about equality and understanding but the women there are the gatekeepers and the watchdogs of the place and the mangina's are too scared to disagree with them or resist their brainwashing.
Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
I saw a couple of your posts. It is only a matter of time before they ban you. They DO NOT like to hear the point of view that we present. It is very much dominated by women in their 30s and 40s and supported by men who have had their balls chopped off.DJDamage said:
But, the sad part is that when men go out and look for answers to their problems with relationships and women, those are the kind of sites that they end up finding. And the neutering continues...
JUAN the Great
Don Juan
This very sound advice. Women from 18-23; they let loose and display their slutty behavior. For some, what happens is that they catch an std or get pregnant. Then by 25-27, they are angry at men for their dumb decisions. Then when they get near their 30s they are damaged goods. My advice to anyone is to wait until you are in your early thirties to get into a relationship. Before then, you are not mature enough to deal with some of the sh#t tests and BS that follows. Most women don't mature until the late thirties. Who wants a 36 year old now obese milf. NO ONE!!!!!
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
All this is is an overt observation of what women understand from a very early age - women's sexual marketability declines with age, while men's (should) increases as they age.
All women have conditions (prerequisites) for men in order for them to become intimate (sexual) with them; he's got to be good looking, he's got to be financially stable (i.e. rich), he's got to have some status ('different from 'power'), respectability, ambition, be confident, he has to be the inititator, he's has to be decisive, he has to make an emotional connection with her, he's got have 'provider' potential,..etc., etc. and the list goes on and on for any individual woman and according to her ability (i.e. looks) to demand each condition. Each of these personal conditions for intimacy is set in a priority order depending on her ability to demand them and this demand is mediated by her age.
It's no secret that a woman's sexual marketability declines as she ages and men's increases as he ages. As a woman ages she progressively loses her ability to physically attract a mate (his one condition for intimacy), thus her conditions and their priority order shift accordingly because she is forced to compete with younger, more attractive women for the same pool of eligible men.
These men tend to be the ones best able to provide for her long term security and any resulting offspring. Thus, well established men (with status, money, hopefully good looks, etc.) in their ealry 30's are the prime targets and the more they exemplify her conditions for intimacy, in their existing priority order, the more suitable he becomes for that intimacy and the harder she will compete with other women to achieve his long term committal.
Pop-psychology would have us believe that women in their late 30's to early 40's are in their sexual prime. This may serve to increase the self-esteem of women finding themselves unable to command the male attention they did in their youth, but nothing could be further from the truth. While pre-menapausal women do in fact experience a spike in their testosterone levels and a resulting sex drive increase prior to their eggs dropping, it is women between the ages of 18 and 26 that are in fact in their prime breeding stages. Women's bodies in this age range are far better prepared for the rigors of pregnancy. At no other phase in her life is she more sexually active and most capable of commanding the attentions of the best male meeting her conditional criteria and in their most strict order. However these conditions are still mediated by her physical attractiveness - thus, if she's fat her conditions (and their priority) will be adjusted accordingly - but she is nonetheless at her personal prime in this phase.
Unsurprisingly we see in most cultures older males striving for the attentions of the younger and more atractive females, but in western culture he becomes vilified and shamed for this - or at least that's what western feminized women would like to be the case. The most common complaint women in their mid-thirties bemoan about is that "There's no good men" or they can't understand why men just can't "grow up". Increasingly 'career women' desiring to finally start a family at age 35 find that men - particularly the ones that meet their conditions - in their age range (33-38) are not interested in women (to say nothing of 'career women') of their own age range. They're interested in the 22 year olds who wouldn't give them the time of day when they didn't have the status (or maturity) that they've just discovered they now have. And of course the 35 year old career woman was one of these 22 year old girls, only 13 years prior, who was doing precisely the same thing the 22 year old girls are doing today.
But that doesn't stop 30 something women from complaining about how men their age are 'infantile' for wanting to breed with 'little girls', rather than mature, intelligent, respectable career women such as themselves. They are incapable of conceiving why men 'wont live up to their responsibilities' and commit to a lifetime with them. They write article after article about how men are in fact threatened by their 'successfulness' or their 'status', when the simple fact remains that his breeding choice are dictated by one single condition - SHE'S GOTTA BE HOT! Unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. The mid-thirties woman is (with a few notable exceptions) simply not as attractive as younger women.
So as an unspoken reaction to this predicament we get to see the popularity of shows like Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives soar with this audience. "You can be 40 and still 'have it'"(so long as you buy the beauty products our advertisers push on these shows) they tell these women. "Those men and their fragile egoes just don't know what they're missing. How dare they be aroused by, and date younger more attractive women, we'll show them", they'd have them believe and pander to this dynamic while encouraging the fallacy that 'men ought to be ashamed of their sexual impulse.
And finally we encounter the 40+ woman looking for what she couldn't get in her 30s. Her priorities and conditions for intimacy have altered radically now. At 40, the career woman has abandoned the idea of long term commital; she may make up some sort of internalized blame for men not accepting her, but the truth comes that time has or is running out. Perhaps she's divorced, perhaps she's a single mother (they always deserve male attention for their efforts, right?), but at 40+ the importance becomes sex as empowerment for her. She still wants to know she's 'still got it' and since none of the men of the age she'd like to be in an LTR with are biting she'll be more than happy to get with a 22 year old 'hunk'. They're easy pickin's since none of the girls their own age are interested in them. They're virle, young, dumb and full of come. That'll show those immature older men who don't know how to commit! She'll beat 'em at their own game. Look at what I've got! A hot guy (relative, actually) who knows how to pleasure an older woman; again shaming and insinuating older men's sexual performance isn't up to 'women's standards'. All conditions for intimacy and the priority orders she had before are out the window with the exception of physical attractiveness now, which, interestingly enough, has been a man's only condition since he hit puberty. She's come full circle, only now she makes an effort to enhance her appearance in the gym ('boy that personal trainer is cute'), with plastic surgery, botox, breast augmentation, anything that will increase the attraction for young guys.
And of course the young guys are all too happy to 'fill that hole' (pun intended) since the effort to get after it with the 40+ is practiaclly nil and the rejection ratio is far lower. In addition most 22 year old guys know an LTR is more or less out of the question; they may be a booty call for her, but that's an ideal situation for him, sex on demand with no expectation of any form of security for her. They like to make up reasonings like "she's more experienced in bed" or "we're both in our sexual primes", but this just serves to justify him being a booty call, as if he'd have a problem with that.
The real irony of the whole situation is that 40+ woman is now doing exactly what she mercilessly criticized these 'immature', problematic 30-40 something men for doing. However, we don't see any articles telling women to grow up, or to do the right thing or how infantile they are for sexually desiring younger men. On the contrary, they're applauded for 'bucking the system' for accepting they're sexual natures (as if they were formerly repressed) and "You go girl!" using isolated celebrity examples like Demi Moore fvcking Ashton Kutcher as a role model. They're encouraged to do exactly what men are run up the flagpole by their testicles for in popular media and popular consciousness. On a recent episode of Desperate Housewives one wife has a sexual encounter with a 17 year old gardener boy; an act that would earn a man in similar position with a 17 year old girl the epithet of 'pervert' or 'sexual predator' and probalbly jail time with a lifetime of registering as a sex offender every time the guy moved to a new address. Yet this show is lauded as "brining respectability back to housewives and women everywhere" in every article I've ever read about it.
Feel free to cut & paste this on Love Shack Light if you want.
All women have conditions (prerequisites) for men in order for them to become intimate (sexual) with them; he's got to be good looking, he's got to be financially stable (i.e. rich), he's got to have some status ('different from 'power'), respectability, ambition, be confident, he has to be the inititator, he's has to be decisive, he has to make an emotional connection with her, he's got have 'provider' potential,..etc., etc. and the list goes on and on for any individual woman and according to her ability (i.e. looks) to demand each condition. Each of these personal conditions for intimacy is set in a priority order depending on her ability to demand them and this demand is mediated by her age.
It's no secret that a woman's sexual marketability declines as she ages and men's increases as he ages. As a woman ages she progressively loses her ability to physically attract a mate (his one condition for intimacy), thus her conditions and their priority order shift accordingly because she is forced to compete with younger, more attractive women for the same pool of eligible men.
These men tend to be the ones best able to provide for her long term security and any resulting offspring. Thus, well established men (with status, money, hopefully good looks, etc.) in their ealry 30's are the prime targets and the more they exemplify her conditions for intimacy, in their existing priority order, the more suitable he becomes for that intimacy and the harder she will compete with other women to achieve his long term committal.
Pop-psychology would have us believe that women in their late 30's to early 40's are in their sexual prime. This may serve to increase the self-esteem of women finding themselves unable to command the male attention they did in their youth, but nothing could be further from the truth. While pre-menapausal women do in fact experience a spike in their testosterone levels and a resulting sex drive increase prior to their eggs dropping, it is women between the ages of 18 and 26 that are in fact in their prime breeding stages. Women's bodies in this age range are far better prepared for the rigors of pregnancy. At no other phase in her life is she more sexually active and most capable of commanding the attentions of the best male meeting her conditional criteria and in their most strict order. However these conditions are still mediated by her physical attractiveness - thus, if she's fat her conditions (and their priority) will be adjusted accordingly - but she is nonetheless at her personal prime in this phase.
Unsurprisingly we see in most cultures older males striving for the attentions of the younger and more atractive females, but in western culture he becomes vilified and shamed for this - or at least that's what western feminized women would like to be the case. The most common complaint women in their mid-thirties bemoan about is that "There's no good men" or they can't understand why men just can't "grow up". Increasingly 'career women' desiring to finally start a family at age 35 find that men - particularly the ones that meet their conditions - in their age range (33-38) are not interested in women (to say nothing of 'career women') of their own age range. They're interested in the 22 year olds who wouldn't give them the time of day when they didn't have the status (or maturity) that they've just discovered they now have. And of course the 35 year old career woman was one of these 22 year old girls, only 13 years prior, who was doing precisely the same thing the 22 year old girls are doing today.
But that doesn't stop 30 something women from complaining about how men their age are 'infantile' for wanting to breed with 'little girls', rather than mature, intelligent, respectable career women such as themselves. They are incapable of conceiving why men 'wont live up to their responsibilities' and commit to a lifetime with them. They write article after article about how men are in fact threatened by their 'successfulness' or their 'status', when the simple fact remains that his breeding choice are dictated by one single condition - SHE'S GOTTA BE HOT! Unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. The mid-thirties woman is (with a few notable exceptions) simply not as attractive as younger women.
So as an unspoken reaction to this predicament we get to see the popularity of shows like Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives soar with this audience. "You can be 40 and still 'have it'"(so long as you buy the beauty products our advertisers push on these shows) they tell these women. "Those men and their fragile egoes just don't know what they're missing. How dare they be aroused by, and date younger more attractive women, we'll show them", they'd have them believe and pander to this dynamic while encouraging the fallacy that 'men ought to be ashamed of their sexual impulse.
And finally we encounter the 40+ woman looking for what she couldn't get in her 30s. Her priorities and conditions for intimacy have altered radically now. At 40, the career woman has abandoned the idea of long term commital; she may make up some sort of internalized blame for men not accepting her, but the truth comes that time has or is running out. Perhaps she's divorced, perhaps she's a single mother (they always deserve male attention for their efforts, right?), but at 40+ the importance becomes sex as empowerment for her. She still wants to know she's 'still got it' and since none of the men of the age she'd like to be in an LTR with are biting she'll be more than happy to get with a 22 year old 'hunk'. They're easy pickin's since none of the girls their own age are interested in them. They're virle, young, dumb and full of come. That'll show those immature older men who don't know how to commit! She'll beat 'em at their own game. Look at what I've got! A hot guy (relative, actually) who knows how to pleasure an older woman; again shaming and insinuating older men's sexual performance isn't up to 'women's standards'. All conditions for intimacy and the priority orders she had before are out the window with the exception of physical attractiveness now, which, interestingly enough, has been a man's only condition since he hit puberty. She's come full circle, only now she makes an effort to enhance her appearance in the gym ('boy that personal trainer is cute'), with plastic surgery, botox, breast augmentation, anything that will increase the attraction for young guys.
And of course the young guys are all too happy to 'fill that hole' (pun intended) since the effort to get after it with the 40+ is practiaclly nil and the rejection ratio is far lower. In addition most 22 year old guys know an LTR is more or less out of the question; they may be a booty call for her, but that's an ideal situation for him, sex on demand with no expectation of any form of security for her. They like to make up reasonings like "she's more experienced in bed" or "we're both in our sexual primes", but this just serves to justify him being a booty call, as if he'd have a problem with that.
The real irony of the whole situation is that 40+ woman is now doing exactly what she mercilessly criticized these 'immature', problematic 30-40 something men for doing. However, we don't see any articles telling women to grow up, or to do the right thing or how infantile they are for sexually desiring younger men. On the contrary, they're applauded for 'bucking the system' for accepting they're sexual natures (as if they were formerly repressed) and "You go girl!" using isolated celebrity examples like Demi Moore fvcking Ashton Kutcher as a role model. They're encouraged to do exactly what men are run up the flagpole by their testicles for in popular media and popular consciousness. On a recent episode of Desperate Housewives one wife has a sexual encounter with a 17 year old gardener boy; an act that would earn a man in similar position with a 17 year old girl the epithet of 'pervert' or 'sexual predator' and probalbly jail time with a lifetime of registering as a sex offender every time the guy moved to a new address. Yet this show is lauded as "brining respectability back to housewives and women everywhere" in every article I've ever read about it.
Feel free to cut & paste this on Love Shack Light if you want.
