awkward situation

[SuSHI]

So I recently started school again, its a short program mostly for post grads. Not many people are in my program. I have 5 out of 7 classes with this girl. It just so happens that we have these classes in the same room and we sit next to each other for all of them. So I literally spend 14 hours a week sitting next to this girl.

This is bad and good at the same time I guess, but she is not exactly outgoing. We take all our smoke breaks together and that's the time when we mostly talk.

The awkward part is, when leaving the room (this happens a lot because of breaks and all the classes we have), she is very to herself. I have only started school for a week so far, so her and I, outside of our smoking conversations are not close or anything. So she doesn't really wait for me when leaving the room, and vice versa. We just see each other outside at the spot, or sometimes happen to leave at the same time, in which we will talk.

And even though she has been at this program a whole semester before me (I'm new), I talk to her more than anyone in my program, that just shows how close together she is with everyone at this school (very small program and school). Most people are part time students (except her and I and some others).

My question is, and I hope I wasn't being too confusing: Should I just continue to play aloof and leave on my own, and if I happen to see her outside later talk to her, or should I try to make an effort to talk to her as I am leaving so we leave together? That seems too needy, but I feel if I don't initiate this, we will end up being people who only have small talk because they happen to be in the same place at the same time, and no further developments will ever come of it.

I have one class with another girl (girl B lets call her), and right from day one, we started taking our breaks together, and now girl B will wait for me and I her, so much more simple. So I am thinking it is just this other girl's (non-girl B) actions that make me feel awkward, and not my own.

So how should I approach this "leaving" situation, should I acknowledge her on my way out/wait for her? Leave after she leaves? or Just leave first and act aloof?

I need to know what you guys think, cause I have a whole term of study ahead with this girl (non-girl B). And yeah, I think shes cute.

if you have anymore questions, just ask.

 

[DavenJuan]

this reminds me why i take large breaks from this place.

i dont fault you brother. you only ask these types of questions because you know that you dont have to really THINK about how to CHANGE this and know that someone on this forum will WALK YOU through this.

its simple brother. if you enjoy talking with her on your way out, then walk up to her before she leaves and tell her, "ill walk with you out..."

i dont understand the dilemna... ?

more importantly, how long do you think it would take or how many "breaks" can you accompany her on, without showing signs of interest, without her LJBF'ing you...? youre satisfied with just "smoking" with this girl?

i mean this in the nicest possible way brother, but grow some balls, go after what you want, and dont settle for anything less. stop concerning yourself with how others percieve you.

 

[2crudedudes]

Sounds like a LJBF situation. She may or may not be interested in you, but you are, for sure. You seem inclined to pursue her, but she doesn't seem all that into you. Continue about your business and if it happens, great. If it doesn't, shrug it off.

The moment you become needy ("hey, wait for me!") she may lose all, if any, interest in you.

 

[SuSHI]

I know what you are saying, I gave the example of girl b to show you that I can talk to girls fine. But with this one, shes not that friendly, unless you go out of your way to talk to her, and I don't want to be needy like that.
If I do it every break and everytime we have class, that is a lot of times. Can you imagine going up to a girl and telling her I will walk with you out, or doing something like that 10 times a week after spending 14 hours sitting next to her? Thats too much man. Should I just act aloof, and if she doesnt initiate it after I have a couple of times, just forget her altogether?

 

[2-D]

Don't bother trying to "walk her out." Just leave, and let her leave...

Now this is what needs to happen. You need to stop boring her with small talk all the time. Once you can actually interest her/make her laugh, then things can actually move along. If all you ever do when you see her is ask her what classes she has and how they are going, you will just bore her.

Also don't talk to her as much. This is what I suggest you try:

. Talk to her a few more times, interest her and make her laugh! Flirt subtly if she seems to be enjoying the conversation
. Stop talking to her as much, but make sure the last few interactions you had were FUN, or she won't care, focus on talking and having fun with your buddies, pay her LESS ATTENTION
. If she has any interest in you, she will start initiating and trying to talk to you, then you can get her number and all that, just make sure when you speak to her, she isn't bored!

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Dude, look -- I believe you are doing what I've done countless times: over-thinking.

See if she wants to chill sometime. Find out some of her interests, and invite her to do something where the interests overlap. Her inwardness could be a few things:

(a) wants only friendship/acquaintanceship
(b) quiet and reserved, low self-esteem.
(c) potentially crazy (hehe)

Just go up to her and talk to her, see if you can somehow transition to doing something with her outside of class. If she flakes or pulls away--

-- disengage --

Find another woman to chat with or become interested in. She may just be a heart tugger for you the whole while if you don't.

Also -- talk to other girls at this present time too -- don't fixate too much. It'll backfire.

Righteous be your growth with women man! Strength!

 

[King Turi]

Man, some serious over-thinking here.

Yeah, make an effort to talk to her, otherwise it's just awkward if you sit next to each other all the time and you don't even talk.
She'd think you're like psychotic or suicidal or something.

When you both head out for a break, just say "Yo, hold up, I'm come with ya"
..drop some convo in there like "wtf was that b1tch talkin' about? i get the ____ part but wtf was the 2 year rant after it about?"
"how good is muse? seriously."

All you gotta do is talk to her like she's one of your mates, bro.

Even call her "bro".

 

[SuSHI]

I know what you are all saying, and I do small talk, but I avoid the boring conversations. I specialize in over the top humor when it comes to conversations, so that is not the problem there (the one thing I have gotten right after all these years lol).

normally, I would not have a problem at least making a move and such, but since I have almost every class with this girl, for the next 12 weeks, I don't want to risk being too forward. Esp. due to the fact that she doesn't even talk or hang out with any guys in my class or school for that matter. You see what I mean here?

I realized the op was silly, and I have decided on what to do about all this. But the only thing that bugs me, is the fact that I sit next to and have almost all my classes with her, so if I make a move and it doesn't go over well, I will have to put up with seeing her for the next 12 weeks, esp smoke breaks, since we are the only two smoking and take our breaks together.

I think I will just naturally let it go where it goes, but almost all my past girl friends I have had from approaches, and not from a day-to-day thing, so I don't really know how to transition this. Except for ask her to hang out after class and she would know I was interested. But if she isn't then I gotta see her everyday for a long time lol.

 

[SuSHI]

That last part is the big problem, and I already know you guys are going to tell me not to care what she thinks, but if you were in my situation, would you think that was easy to do?