Awesome personal ad written by a Craigslist poster

[STR8UP]

I believe there needs to be a balance of realism and idealism. Focusing too much on being a realist, can make someone bitter.

I will admit that at this stage in my life I lean a bit too far toward the "realist" side, but not to the point of being bitter. Trying to get myself centered again but it's tough when the world throws you one bad pitch after another.

I dunno....so far '08 is looking much more promising than '07 so hopefully I can get myself back on track soon enough.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I will admit that at this stage in my life I lean a bit too far toward the "realist" side, but not to the point of being bitter. Trying to get myself centered again but it's tough when the world throws you one bad pitch after another.

I dunno....so far '08 is looking much more promising than '07 so hopefully I can get myself back on track soon enough.

I hear ya Str8up, just remember that it's important to not take life too seriously, just have fun with it.

Women will be women, the bitterness and stress comes to play when we think we change them, that's the realism.

The idealism is knowing that we are way farther in the game of life, than most, so we can take control of our own actions and not fall into the pit traps that many guys do.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I hear ya Str8up, just remember that it's important to not take life too seriously, just have fun with it.

Women will be women, the bitterness and stress comes to play when we think we change them, that's the realism.

The idealism is knowing that we are way farther in the game of life, than most, so we can take control of our own actions and not fall into the pit traps that many guys do.

Absofvkinlutely!

 

[ketostix]

So if some guy says something less than positive and generally true about women, he's automatically bitter? Either what he said is generally true or isn't true. Well everyone knows whether they admit it or not the post was true about the way women generally are and how they conduct themselves. If something is true and women don't like the message, they reach for the "bitter" accusation tool. I'm kind of surprised guys are doing it too. Well I'm not really surprised, but it tells you a lot about how much free reign women have to act carte blanche and how boxed in most men are.

I do agree that it's not productive to point out women's flaws in a straightforward way. That's another tendency they have, to never take responsibility. Women criticise men in the most absurd and erroneous ways, yet no one calls them bitter. I don't like to see that tool used against men.

I don't believe Str8up's bitter at all. I think he's explained pretty well where he's coming from several times, an analytical, realist point of view.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I don't believe Str8up's bitter at all. I think he's explained pretty well where he's coming from several times, an analytical, realist point of view.

+1

I believe Str8up has a more evenly realistic viewpoint than what the CL guy wrote in his post.

 

[Colossus]

That post had some truth to it, but it was rather extreme. That's a prime example of a man who has been burned one too many times, and taken it to heart.

Unless he gets healing in some way, he will never find "that one who is different", because she cant exist in his reality. He will always view a woman's actions with that glaze of cynical scrutiny. She will never be good enough for him, because when she errs, as humans do, all the resentment and hatred he has stewing inside of him will come out and discolor her actions; to the point he terminates the relationship.

If you cant forgive others, you are working on a miserable life.

 

[STR8UP]

Unless he gets healing in some way, he will never find "that one who is different", because she cant exist in his reality. He will always view a woman's actions with that glaze of cynical scrutiny.

I'm working on getting myself centered, as I said, but I worry that even then I will still be burdened with my knowledge of the mechanics of it all.

Maybe I will end up becoming a cynical old bastard after all

 

[Mr. Me]

Here's an article I came across from New York magazine, written in 2002, though nothing's changed since then... written by one Susan Dominus, who I'm pretty sure isn't bitter about greedy, materialistic women...

On a recent Friday night, Sascha, a petite 25-year-old blonde in a $400 Donna Karan top, is parked in front of the velvet rope outside Pangea so the bouncer can get a better look at her. "I wouldn't date a guy who's unemployed right now, period," she says. "I won't just settle for a guy who's nice and treats me well -- I want to have a good life." Weekend after weekend, she pulls on her Sigerson Morrison boots, applies makeup between her breasts to enhance her cleavage, and hits upscale clubs like Bungalow 8 and Lotus. When a guy hits on her, the first thing she does is check out what he's wearing -- his shoes, his watch. Then maybe she'll allow him to buy her a drink, or else she'll give him the Look.

The last time Sascha was at Pangea, she stepped outside to check her voice mail and a tall, blond Italian guy told her she was beautiful. On the way back in, she gave him a playful tap with her handbag. They started to dance, and he asked her out. "Right away, I'm thinking, 'Who is this guy? What does he do?' " she says. "He wouldn't tell me, but I was like, 'F#ck it, he's cute, I'll go out with him.' " The next night, they returned to Pangea, where a friend of Sascha's recognized her date -- as a waiter at the Park. "I was like, 'It's over,' " says Sascha. "I went back to him and said, 'I know what you do.' I'm sorry, but I have ambitions in life. I can't date a f#ckiing waiter.

(Love how Sascha claims that it's she who has "ambitions").

The rest of the article: http://nymag.com/personals/articles/02/02/singles/money.htm

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Maybe I will end up becoming a cynical old bastard after all

Ehem... My job...

 

[Mr.Positive]

The poster isn't bitter at all, he just recognizes concepts from Cialdini's book "Influence" and that women really do judge men on status and power more than looks or anything.

Being a realist doesn't mean being bitter. It just means the next step is to use the knowledge to your advantage.

Good post, Danger.

In the year or so I've been learning from this site, and from my experiences with women in the past, I can say women never stop surprising me.

Also, if I list some of the bad experiences, I would be automatically labeled 'bitter'.

Bitterness is a touchy subject, and gets a knee-jerk reaction on the defensive side.

I think the bottom line, is that if you start to know how women work...the good, and the bad, and it affects your happiness, you may be bitter.

If you let this knowledge, that you can not change, get to you, and affect your personal quality of life, it's time to do some self-growth to keep from being bitter. That's what I think the craigslist poster needs to do, keep from becoming bitter.

There has to be a point for us mature guys to be above the game.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Being a realist doesn't mean being bitter. It just means the next step is to use the knowledge to your advantage.

Yeah, but you have to be careful. Just because it's your personal perception of reality doesn't mean that it's everyone's. Personally, my perception is much better than his, but that's just me.

There's no reality; only perception.

 

[vorbis]

my GOD lads!!!

I'm completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women. It seems like success with women is equal to spending half of your life working to create a giant illusion, something vastly tiring and annoying, while sacrificing your own true self and your own interests. We construct our lives around nest-building. We're like male birds building nests and showing them off to attract mates. It's pathetic. Everything we do is to get women. It is a fvcking sh!t deal.

Look at the original post without bias and tell me that the above lines are not written by some whiney cowardly guy who's too afraid to (a) probably even ask a woman out and (b) call her on her ****.

The entire craigslist post is defeatist. His comment about a woman being interested in a man's status is valid. Thats about all the good points he made. If he was talking about scoring easily with girls and finding they were being *****y then he might have a point.

He isn't. He appears to have this awful idea that you must do a **** load of work just to get a girl. Thats proven wrong each and every day!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...He isn't. He appears to have this awful idea that you must do a **** load of work just to get a girl. Thats proven wrong each and every day!

Yeah, but that's his reality.

 

[STR8UP]

There's no reality; only perception.

Perception IS reality. That's a big part of a lot of people's problem. They refuse to acknowledge that their view of the world might be a little bit skewed.

 

[jophil28]

doope

 

[jophil28]

Yes the essence of the post was true enough,and I am surprised too that some of you here have labeled him "bitter" . Do you really mean " angry and resentlful " ? Big difference .
IF the guy has been cheated on/ dumped / lied to/ used or scamed by a woman he is entitled to his feelings for pete's sake.
And he is entitled to vent too ( perhaps CL was a poor choice of venue to do that )
I have noted previously that some of you tip a bucket of scorn on some newbie chump who is reeling from his pain and still licking his open wounds which were inflicted by some "woman " whom he only wanted to love and be loved by in return. I am sure that this has happened to most of us at least ONCE.
These guys do not know what we know and so they cannot filter/qualify/ assess and NEXT like we can . They need to learn 'the way' , just as we did.

The word "bitter" suggests a permanently paralysed state of deep and seething resentment.

Being angry,however, is a natural consequence of being mistreated or abused .
Being bitter is the longterm consequence of staying angry without change and personal growth.
( Ironically, most divorced women fit that desciption exactly)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Perception IS reality. That's a big part of a lot of people's problem. They refuse to acknowledge that their view of the world might be a little bit skewed.

Reality is only what happens behind your eyes. People often look at the exact same things and have two completely different experiences. The folly of it all is when they believe that everyone processes what's in front of their eyes the exact same way.

 

[STR8UP]

He isn't. He appears to have this awful idea that you must do a **** load of work just to get a girl. Thats proven wrong each and every day!

See, here's a perfect example of the problem. The poster is AWARE of WHY men spend their lives building empires.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PU$$Y! And you are taking it the wrong way.

If you take a step back you will see the forest for the trees. If you ask yourself WHY it is you do some of the things you do, you have a lot more control over life.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..If you take a step back you will see the forest for the trees. If you ask yourself WHY it is you do some of the things you do, you have a lot more control over life.

Ah, the huge question about purpose. Unfortunately a lot of guys don't step back in order to see the larger picture (and if they're lucky, paint their own). You have to wonder just how advantageous it is to base your purpose or goals on the reactions of other people.

 

[jophil28]

Reality is only what happens behind your eyes. People often look at the exact same things and have two completely different experiences. The folly of it all is when they believe that everyone processes what's in front of their eyes the exact same way.

No, REALITY is a measurable objective event which exists (or existed) in front of your eyes. Your PERCEPTION is what happens behind your eyes.

It seems that the old warm and fiuzzy left wing thinking that says that there is no truth only interpretations is still around . Is this shyte still dominant in academia?
IT was around when I was an undergrad in the late 70's. IT was promoted by third rate academics who walked the halls clutching the same dusty lecture notes for the entire 25 years of their tenure.

The great Winston Churchill said ," The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, IGNORANCE may deride it, but in the end ,there it is."

NIcely put, Winnie.