I see this so much when people are posting stories online or even with my friends in person, so I figured I'd write about it. I'm sure it's been covered in the past. So many guys that see initial success with a woman get over-excited and want escalate things as quickly as possible by being around her/talking to her often.
Especially early on, this is important. However, it requires a very delicate balance to display your interest in her, while at the same time making her wonder what your true intentions are. This gets her thinking at you while you're not actually around, and thus builds her attraction towards you without you actually having to do anything. "I like this guy, I think he likes me too, but what is he REALLY thinking?"
I see guys go way out of their way to try and see or talk to girls, especially immediately after the initial meeting, when nothing has been solidified yet. Even if you are displaying to her through flirting and teasing that you're a man of high value, making these meetings/conversations too frequent early on can be bad.
The phone is your worst enemy.
Don't chat with her on the phone. If she calls and wants to chat for a while, or you call her and she wants to chat, don't do it. Set up a time and a place for you two to get together and do it there. There's no body language over the phone, no kino, just words and voice inflection. "Hey, I'm kind of busy right now, why don't we meet and get coffee later?" Then work your magic in person.
Don't let her rope you into texting back and forth all day. I personally hate texting, so I never have to worry about this. Avoid the idle chatting in text messaging. Don't feel obligated to respond to her if she texts you with random nothingness.
Chatting online is iffy. I've had mixed results with it. If she's big into the online scene, million friends on myspace or facebook or whatever, you should probably avoid it. There are tons of guys trying to get with her online, you don't need to use it as a crutch. However, if she's someone who maybe gets online in the evenings, only talks to a few of her friends online, then it may work for you. Just don't dive in and start IMing 5 seconds after she gets online. Wait a while, maybe you have something funny to show her, maybe you want to ask her out (I've asked girls out on first dates online with success, but I don't recommend it).
I have two male friends that I hang out with pretty often, usually just the three of us. One of them is very good with girls, one is very bad with girls. The one who is very good with girls has women calling him constantly. Sometimes he'll pick up, sometimes he won't. His phone conversations generally last only a couple minutes and usually end with, "let's get together soon." The other one sits there texting back and forth with one girl, and if he gets a phone call, he'll jump up and run out of the room and essentially disappear for the next 20 minutes. The former has slept with half of the girls on campus, the latter is a virgin.
Don't dive at every opportunity to talk to her. You WANT to be with her, you don't NEED to be with her. Avoid displaying neediness/clinginess through how often and by what means you get to know her at first.
(This is also my first writeup about anything regarding pick up. I've lurked around these communities for years and had my own experiences to back these up. Feel free to critique.)
Especially early on, this is important. However, it requires a very delicate balance to display your interest in her, while at the same time making her wonder what your true intentions are. This gets her thinking at you while you're not actually around, and thus builds her attraction towards you without you actually having to do anything. "I like this guy, I think he likes me too, but what is he REALLY thinking?"
I see guys go way out of their way to try and see or talk to girls, especially immediately after the initial meeting, when nothing has been solidified yet. Even if you are displaying to her through flirting and teasing that you're a man of high value, making these meetings/conversations too frequent early on can be bad.
The phone is your worst enemy.
Don't chat with her on the phone. If she calls and wants to chat for a while, or you call her and she wants to chat, don't do it. Set up a time and a place for you two to get together and do it there. There's no body language over the phone, no kino, just words and voice inflection. "Hey, I'm kind of busy right now, why don't we meet and get coffee later?" Then work your magic in person.
Don't let her rope you into texting back and forth all day. I personally hate texting, so I never have to worry about this. Avoid the idle chatting in text messaging. Don't feel obligated to respond to her if she texts you with random nothingness.
Chatting online is iffy. I've had mixed results with it. If she's big into the online scene, million friends on myspace or facebook or whatever, you should probably avoid it. There are tons of guys trying to get with her online, you don't need to use it as a crutch. However, if she's someone who maybe gets online in the evenings, only talks to a few of her friends online, then it may work for you. Just don't dive in and start IMing 5 seconds after she gets online. Wait a while, maybe you have something funny to show her, maybe you want to ask her out (I've asked girls out on first dates online with success, but I don't recommend it).
I have two male friends that I hang out with pretty often, usually just the three of us. One of them is very good with girls, one is very bad with girls. The one who is very good with girls has women calling him constantly. Sometimes he'll pick up, sometimes he won't. His phone conversations generally last only a couple minutes and usually end with, "let's get together soon." The other one sits there texting back and forth with one girl, and if he gets a phone call, he'll jump up and run out of the room and essentially disappear for the next 20 minutes. The former has slept with half of the girls on campus, the latter is a virgin.
Don't dive at every opportunity to talk to her. You WANT to be with her, you don't NEED to be with her. Avoid displaying neediness/clinginess through how often and by what means you get to know her at first.
(This is also my first writeup about anything regarding pick up. I've lurked around these communities for years and had my own experiences to back these up. Feel free to critique.)
