Autism

[UnholyConfessions]

I am new to this forum and to game. I am a new "red pill" guy.

I have diagnosed Autism, but only mildly. My worst symptom is that eye contact is actually physically painful for me at times.

I used to be really bad at reading body language, but learned how to over the years. It still is not natural at all. I have to concentrate on it each time I interact at school (I am a nontraditional undergrad). Honestly, it is exhausting.

I tried doing a search for Autism specific threads and did not find much. I am normal enough that people cannot tell that I am autistic unless I tell them. Is there any specific advice geared for people like me?

Women show interest in me consistently enough at school, and my natural "I don't care" aura intrigues them. I suppose the fact that I don't just hit on them like every other guy intrigues them. But they tend to get annoyed that I don't game them further and eventually stop showing interest.

Anyone else dealt with this while being Autistic?

I was a typical beta until a few years ago when I decided to take a time out from women because of a really traumatic experience with rejection. You wouldn't believe the things I said to her when she withdrew her interest. The awful, ridiculous things I said to lower my value. Since then I have been intuitively on the alpha pathway. I naturally no longer give in and appease women, and have put my other ambitions ahead of interacting with women. I went from no HS diploma and a loser job to making straight A's at a top university and my status has improved a lot. I guess that is why I get regular interest now. I just haven't understood what to do with that interest.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You wouldn't believe the things I said to her when she withdrew her interest. The awful, ridiculous things I said to lower my value.

lol, man, I know exactly what you mean there. When my ex-wife was divorcing me, she once said, "please stop groveling; it's not attractive."

How are your relations with people in general, like friends, roommates, and classmates? You can always be working on your intuition skills with people - try to have an idea of what they are thinking. That is a skill that helps with women. Obviously, you are not totally oblivious, because you at least notice the girls who like you. That's a good start.

 

[DarkDetective50]

I was a typical beta until a few years ago when I decided to take a time out from women because of a really traumatic experience with rejection. You wouldn't believe the things I said to her when she withdrew her interest.

The fact that you're fully aware of your actions and what you did in the past is a very good first step. Autistic or not, you're not the first or last person to have gone through that beta experience of professing your undying love for "The One". I don't know much about dating with autism but try doing a search on Wrong Planet website. I also saw this video on their Facebook page once: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIqFrbgBEQY#t=149

 

[JaegerPilot217]

what type Autism? Aspergers?

 

[Cremasta]

I have diagnosed Autism, but only mildly. My worst symptom is that eye contact is actually physically painful for me at times.

First up, the autism doesn't seem to have affected your writing, it's a lot better than some of the gibberish I've occasionally tried to decipher here.

If eye contact is such a major issue for you, then maybe looking for girls from certain cultures where heavy eye contact is discouraged might help. I can't say how scientific it is, but a quick Google found this... http://www.brighthubeducation.com/s...learning-about-eye-contact-in-other-cultures/

 

[UnholyConfessions]

You wouldn't believe the things I said to her when she withdrew her interest. The awful, ridiculous things I said to lower my value.

lol, man, I know exactly what you mean there. When my ex-wife was divorcing me, she once said, "please stop groveling; it's not attractive."

How are your relations with people in general, like friends, roommates, and classmates? You can always be working on your intuition skills with people - try to have an idea of what they are thinking. That is a skill that helps with women. Obviously, you are not totally oblivious, because you at least notice the girls who like you. That's a good start.

Relations with people in general can be shaky or good, it depends on how much mental energy I have at that moment. Socializing is exhausting for me because I have to concentrate constantly while doing it.

Sometimes when women try to flirt with me I get annoyed. Not because I am trying to be mean, or find them unattractive. Because I don't have the mental energy to deal with it at that time.

It is weird though. A few of these women continue to seek me out on campus. I almost wonder if they find my Autistic nature a challenge because I don't respond like most other guys.

 

[UnholyConfessions]

The fact that you're fully aware of your actions and what you did in the past is a very good first step. Autistic or not, you're not the first or last person to have gone through that beta experience of professing your undying love for "The One". I don't know much about dating with autism but try doing a search on Wrong Planet website. I also saw this video on their Facebook page once: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIqFrbgBEQY#t=149

Thanks for the link.

Yeah, the whole "one" fairy tale went out the window about 8 years ago for me. What retarded nonsense that soulmate, Disney garbage is.

 

[UnholyConfessions]

what type Autism? Aspergers?

My diagnosis is just Autism. The doctor who diagnosed me said it is mild, but mild is not on the official paperwork. I was diagnosed at a later age, and by then they had eliminated the Aspergers label. Not sure if I would have been Aspergers when the label still existed.

I exhibit exceptional intelligence and poor social skills. What social skills I have, I had to work very hard at to attain. I also have a degree of mindblindness. I cannot tell what people are thinking unless I try very very hard to read their body language, which is exhausting.

 

[UnholyConfessions]

First up, the autism doesn't seem to have affected your writing, it's a lot better than some of the gibberish I've occasionally tried to decipher here.

If eye contact is such a major issue for you, then maybe looking for girls from certain cultures where heavy eye contact is discouraged might help. I can't say how scientific it is, but a quick Google found this... http://www.brighthubeducation.com/s...learning-about-eye-contact-in-other-cultures/

Thank you. Writing has actually been one of my strengths over the years. It is the talking that is a weakness of mine.

Thanks for the idea. I had not thought of that before.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I had to work very hard...

There you go. You have the right idea.

Body language is worthwhile, but there are a lot of other cues to watch for as well. Word choice, tone, and eye movement are other things to look for that will tell you what someone is thinking.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I grew up the same way, and was diagnosed late in life. Same thing... hugely difficult to engage with people, couldn't read body language/facial cues, socially awkward, avoiding situational social interactions in order to avoid the exhaustion of working the engagement... and on it goes.

The good news is that mild Autism can be largely grown out of as you get older. I've mostly grown out of it, through sheer hard work and willpower. The best thing I ever learned was to train myself to make small-talk with both men and women, something that was massively painful to do at first. Now it's what I do every day and I enjoy it.

Just keep forcing yourself to engage for short periods every day. Soon you will burn in new habits that will replace the old.

Baby steps allows one to work at getting better while staying under your own "overwhelm" radar.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

My worst symptom is that eye contact is actually physically painful for me at times.

On a side note OP: This is what I think about eye contact.

Other than little glances, or moments like when you go in for a kiss, eye contact isn't as important as you may think it is. Everytime I go to a bar I notice guys staring down women. And all the women do is shudder away and think those guys are creepers. Let the woman focus on you, while you focus on whatever it is you want to focus on.

 

[Night-hawk]

I work with individuals with Autism. Some fall under different categories of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Most individuals I work with can barely write, although one guy with Aspergers can speak and communicate coherently and is quite bright. He has issues with dexterity and trouble with social cues. Verbal and visual cues play a large part in their learning and social interactions. Many have trouble with inferring from indirectness and respond by direct meaning more aptly.

Now, considering you show skill in your writing. and from your description of mildness of the diagnoses, it strikes me with good signs you can keep improving. Many individuals are walking around undiagnosed, as many guys can barely write and articulate themselves to people, are social nitwits, have trouble reading verbal and non verbal cues, and display an inability to interact with women. So some guys people would consider normal due to not having a diagnostic label would surprise you. And you seem keen on your areas to improve and aware of what it will take. Good on
you.

Emotional aloofness and inattention is common, however considering the degree of ones autism this can, like other trouble areas, be grown out of like AS said. Unfortunatley, for some individuals their shortcomings will not be grown out of, but handled. And in cases that I am familiar with, some maintain improvement and can learn. I believe a lot has to, not just with deficiencies of areas of the brain, but what has been already ingrained and conditioned into certain individuals. I am no expert on this matter, so I am only making my points based off your writing and my own experience with working with individuals with autism. But, considering it is a spectrum disorder so many individuals are affected differently. And by the sounds of it you are in a good place.

If you haven't already, keep learning up on nonverbal cues, there are many books on the subject and some even specifically on women's non verbals. Undercover Sex Signals by Loundes is one such book. Other than that practice in interactions is the best route, with applying what you learn here and from other sources. Stayin in shape and doing interesting things shows you are an interesting person and showing that off, because that is what you are, is the most eye catching.

By the sounds of it you are learned and have accomplished some feats, making great strides; are Game and Red Pill aware, and now that you have faced that beta and alpha side, to capitalize off the growth you made and are making.

I commend your spirit to learn and improve, and understand we have our own unique obstacles and hindrances to overcome.