Attractive Women and Selfishness and...

[Slickster]

Originally posted by Umbra
In response to your initial question, however, a woman with the following characteristics makes me slow down:

Attractive - She doesn't have to be gorgeous. I've dated some shallow models and actresses (no one famous) before, and as everyone knows, looks can't carry the whole package. My ideal woman would simply have to be attractive enough to generate sexual arousal. My feelings for her would do the rest.

Humor - She doesn't have to be a comedian. Hell, she doesn't even have to tell the jokes. But I have to be with a woman who can laugh and see the humorous side of life. If she smiles a lot, I like her already.

Intelligence - I don't want a braniac. They are often argumentative and strongly opinionated. But I want a woman who has common sense and can think for herself. I always observe how they handle their finances and how they react to contemporary news stories. She has to be able to hold a lively conversation, to keep it moving.

Maintenance - She can't be high-maintenance. She should take care of herself. I observe her eating habits and her physical health. If she can take care of herself, she can take care of children and even me, if needed. If she doesn't demand my money and time, I want to give even more to her. The only woman I want to take care of is the one who doesn't need it. A woman who never offers to pay for a date is a woman who gets dropped without an explanation.

Social - I want an outgoing woman. Shy women often become boring. Of course, I don't want her to obnoxiously usurp the spotlight, but I like it when I go to a social event and I see my girl talking to lots of people. That means she's adaptable and skilled with people. She's complementary to me. I'm going into business, so a woman who can socialize with different groups is definitely an asset and a gift.

Elegance - No bar floozies, one of those girls who loves drinking at bars and clubs in skanky outfits every weekend. If that's her idea of a good time, I'm running away. Fast. I like women who have more refined tastes. When a woman chooses to go see a movie with me or cook dinner at home over going to a bar or party, I definitely notice. A woman who curses a lot or smokes definitely turns me off.

Adventurous - I embrace change. I need a woman who can do the same. She doesn't necessarily have to do everything I'm daring enough to do. Actually, it's probably better if she's a little more conservative to maintain balance. For example, if I go skydiving, she doesn't have to jump out with me, but I'd like it if she at least goes to the airport to watch me come down. Or if I want to try some exotic food at a new restaurant, at least she's willing to sample it. Or go on a road trip when we have free time. I'm willing to do the same for her. I don't like opera, but if she loves it, I'll be damned if I don't go with her.

Caring - She must show empathy and caring for others. She should think about other people's feelings when she speaks and acts. She should show interest in what other people say. If she isn't interested in anyone else's life but her own, there's a huge problem (this is along the lines of another thread you started about self-centered women).

Sex - She has to like sex. And she has to like it interesting and fun. Of course, this can be overdone as well. I dated a nymphomaniac once, and it adversely affected other areas of my life. But, I will not tolerate a woman who just lays unmoving in bed or only likes sex a few times a week. She has to swallow. No spitting allowed. And she has to shave or trim. I do the same for her.

I think that's pretty detailed. Answer your question, tamales?

Damn this is a great description. I want her too.

 

[ZeeOwl]

Well, I've only dated 1 really hot woman (8) in my life, and she was very self-centered. Definitely a major taker. Starman I think has explained the cause->effect of this behavior in a very clear fashion. Though contrary to his story, mine happened the other way around. At first I was a wuss with her, and tried to be accomodating. But since I had just been horribly burned in a previous relationship, I was already a RAFC. I noticed that the more I gave, the more she demanded. So after a few months, I was getting annoyed with her behavior, and started calling her on her shyt. The strangest thing happened (to my AFC wuss mindset)... The more impatient and intolerant I was with her, the more accomodating and AFC she got with me. One time I remember, I really chewed her out and actually yelled at her. For the following few days, she was all lovey-dovey and sweet with me. She'd never acted like that before. I was all "what the ?". Even talked about it to my best friend (a woman), and she explained the dynamic to me from a female perspective (yeah, she was a real friend ). But her base persona (princess) was just too deeply ingrained (she was 49), and it kept creeping back, even though she was trying. After a while, I got sick of it and dumped her (after several unheeded warnings). She kept calling me for a while and begging me to take her back, offering all sorts of concessions. Probably the first time in her life that the poor thing had been dumped. That, and I think that I was probably the only man she ever met who didn't treat her like a piece of meat... Kinda sad, but I'm not responsible for her life experiences.

And to Umbra, you've just described my dream woman. I want one of those! I've been searching for one for 20 years. If you find one, please, please, please give her my phone number! haha

 

[violator]

I have gone out with women who did not have a pot to piss on, were single mothers, unemployed or just did not have their shyt together. That was when I did not know any better. They were hot, so that is why I put up with that. Naturally, I always paid the bill but it did not bother me because of their financial condition.

I realize now that they could have done other things to show their appreciation, like maybe cook me a simple dinner, or write me a card or a note. But I got nothing. These girls were simply selfish ingrates trying to scrounge off some chump. They thought that by just looking pretty and dating you, they were doing you a big favor. What losers.

That is, I am afraid, the natural state of BEING for most women these days. I may sound cynical, but I have yet to be proven wrong. Women by and large,especially the hot ones, are SPOILED SELFISH BYTCHES.

Nowadays, if you find an attractive girl who is willing to give at least 50/50 in a relationship, you have found gold and marriage material.

Otherwise, they are only worth being used as FB's or as social proof until you do find that golden nugget.

 

[violator]

Oh by the way ZEEOWL, your situation describes almost to the tee, the girl I had been dating a while back. She was an 8.5, very hot body but no personality, obviously used to guys gawking and sniffing her arse.

At first I was AFC with her which she took for granted, but then I got sick of it and dropped her without any explanation.

She got the hint and started calling me within two weeks. Her demeanor was much different however acting sweet and accomodating towards me. But I did not take the bait. Eventually, I lost interest and she stopped calling. I was probably the first guy ever to dump her which was probably a good thing.

The moral of the story is that you can never change a person's overall personaility. If you meet a girl who is a spoiled selfish bytch then that is most likely the way she will be in a relationship or in marriage.

 

[Rahul]

Originally posted by tamales
While I agree with him on some level, I also want great and I mean rock my world sex. Maybe I want to much and I am asking for to much and I fit the scenario in the article. I hope not. But do you think you can have it all or do you think most people merely, settle for one or two good things.

Lastly, cuz I like writing Russian Novels, just how important is sex to you. For me, it is equally as important as friendship. I just can't seem to have it all. I am either really attracted to someone or I really like them as a friend. I have never had both 100%.

It's typical for you as a woman to have unrealistic expectations of your ideal mate. Honestly for guys, as long as a girl takes care of herself (like doesn't let herself go physically, IE: cut her hair off to look like a d-y-ke or gain 100 lbs), cooks, cleans, and consistently puts out, that's enough.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by tamales
I think true DJ's are a rare bread and many of them just want to play not settle down..I am not bashing that. Go for it.. But to find one that actually wants a LTR is harder than we might expect.

Let's think about this: these men are having poonanie thrown at them, sex with multiple women becomes a readily available reality for them. So the only reason for them to commit would be because of a woman's character and personality, two things most of your gender is sorely lacking.

Yes, Rand had a lot of things figured out. To let you guys know she was a hypocrit in real life

Nathanial Branden: Seduced by Grandma. Eww is all I can say to that.

Anyhow, try some of his psychology books, I've found them to be rather good. I recently finsihed The Psychology of Romantic Love by him and found it quite enlightening. I agree with two of his big points: romantic love is not for children, be they literal children or people who have never grown up. Second is that most relationships we see are not really romantic love, they are the immature loves of psychological children.

And I don't think most women or men for that matter really go out trying to destroy the other sex????

Sure as hell seems like you do sometimes!

Oh yeah... my perfect woman: Audrey Hepburn.

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by ShortTimer
Oh yeah... my perfect woman: Audrey Hepburn.

Sorry ShortTimer...we only get one of those every hundred years or so. God doesn't let angels like her out of heaven too often.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
Sorry ShortTimer...we only get one of those every hundred years or so. God doesn't let angels like her out of heaven too often.

*snort, snort, chuckle*