Attractive Women and Selfishness and...

[tamales]

What do you think about this article? It was posted on Askmen.com. Any validity from your experience. http://love.msn.com/men/article2.asp

I think our society as a whole caters to the "ME ME ME ME" attitude. One reason, perhaps why marriages seem to fail? We are all looking for what "we" can get outta a relationship more than we want to give." I mean we're always looking for a better deal. What would be a perfect deal for you all? And for those master DJ out there, describe your relationship.

Do they cater to you, doormat, your equal, overall just a wonderful person.

My mom used to always tell me that the first quality I should look for in a man is whether he was selfish or not. Her opinion was that a very selfish man would never make a woman happy. At least not truly happy. My folks are in their 80's and still kissy, all over eachother and have a great relationship. And my Dad in no AFC.. well in some ways, he's very caring but they are more like partners, best friends and soulmates.

MY brother in law says, it's about friendship.. I remember him saying something to me that "he could be one of these guys who had a real hot babe on his arm, a trophy wife but that it wasn't the sex for him or Mel but friendship. He was like, we have friends but when it comes down to it there is no other person on earth I would rather hang out with and that's what marriage is all about."

COme to think of it, that was a bit of an insult on my sister like she isn't all that hot.

While I agree with him on some level, I also want great and I mean rock my world sex. Maybe I want to much and I am asking for to much and I fit the scenario in the article. I hope not. But do you think you can have it all or do you think most people merely, settle for one or two good things.

Lastly, cuz I like writing Russian Novels, just how important is sex to you. For me, it is equally as important as friendship. I just can't seem to have it all. I am either really attracted to someone or I really like them as a friend. I have never had both 100%.

Your thoughts. SOrry if a bit jumbled. I have a terrible cold.. Can't stop sneezing! I am up to 30 in just one hour..Sigh..And my nose is raw I am a big baby when I am sick and right now I wish I had someone to bring me chicken soup and put a warm washcloth on my forhead.. SIgh.. I am a narcissist for sure

Thanks for the input. Tell me your ideal match.... Seriously. This is not for the players who just want FBuddies but even for you guys.. what would it take to make you slow down.

 

[icepick]

RKTek, a member here, was the one who wrote that question.

In my experience, only a certain TYPE of woman fits the 'narcissist' mold. It doesn't have much to do with beauty, rather, personality is the main factor. They are usually fit and take care of thier clothes and makeup, therefore they are usually hot.

But I have known many girls that I consider very sexy that are a little dorky, laid back, etc.

It really is a certain type of girl, a certain type of personality. The type of personality that will not let them sit around and eat food and get fat, therefore they are hot looking.

MY brother in law says, it's about friendship.. I remember him saying something to me that "he could be one of these guys who had a real hot babe on his arm, a trophy wife but that it wasn't the sex for him or Mel but friendship. He was like, we have friends but when it comes down to it there is no other person on earth I would rather hang out with and that's what marriage is all about."

I think this might have some validity.

COme to think of it, that was a bit of an insult on my sister like she isn't all that hot.

Yeah...some "friend".

While I agree with him on some level, I also want great and I mean rock my world sex. Maybe I want to much and I am asking for to much and I fit the scenario in the article. I hope not. But do you think you can have it all or do you think most people merely, settle for one or two good things.

Why lock yourself with one person if they aren't all you want? The point of marriage is not just to get married, it is to tether yourself to one person for the rest of your life.

Why do that if you are just going to settle?

Lastly, cuz I like writing Russian Novels, just how important is sex to you. For me, it is equally as important as friendship. I just can't seem to have it all. I am either really attracted to someone or I really like them as a friend. I have never had both 100%.

I would think that if you get married, you could help your spouse 'improve' at sex. It would probably make you open your mouth more, you could say, "Hey, you know what! I hate it when you blah, blah, blah...Do this instead." without driving the other person away. (Since they are stuck with you.)

Plus, people may open up more, and you may get to see a different side of them.

Thanks for the input. Tell me your ideal match.... Seriously. This is not for the players who just want FBuddies but even for you guys.. what would it take to make you slow down.

It differs for each person. The key, I think, is to marry someone that can come along with you when you do things.

For example, I would have to marry someone that does not mind moving from place to place, because I want to travel around the world someday. So, if I marry a 'homebody', it would be a bad idea.

 

[Starman]

I think attractive women for the most part have always had things come easy to them..men fawning over, buying gifts, treating them like queens...so eventually their level of expectancy from the world goes up..and they begin to actually believe that the reason so many men are kind to them..is because they are worthy of it based solely on their looks. SO they become more and more molded to think the world owes them..and they eventually just think of ME ME ME.

an ugly woman on the other hand..gets very little attention, and every morsal of goods, attention, gifts, dates and presents are more valued because of its scarcity..and they learn that they can get more..if they give more.

Attractive women learn that if you take more..you get more.

 

[STR8UP]

A big problem I see today is the plethora of women who slap a million dollar price tag on their ass and too many men being afraid to negotiate the ridiculous asking price.

A 50/50 relationship is a fallacy. Every woman needs a stronger man to take control.

Selfishness is a fact of life. Even many of our actions that SEEM on the surface to be altruistic are actually directed towards achieving our own agendas.

I am far from being the most selfish creature on the planet but I won't even consider a relationship unless the girl is a GIVER. A woman who would do just about anything for me is the ULTIMATE aphrodesiac.

 

[Starman]

true that str8..although she should have a mind of her own too.

I think you are talking about hookin up with a Geisha. In japan,, men come first..and women come second..or sometimes not at all.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Starman
true that str8..although she should have a mind of her own too.

I'm not looking for a servant. If that's all I wanted I'd just import one from overseas. I want someone to challenge me as well. I just think the balance of power needs to tilt to my court a bit in order for things to run smoothly.

 

[tamales]

SRTUP*- Exactly, I mean sure I want to be a giver but give me a man worthy to give.. Most are wusses. Have I said on earlier posts.. women want men to be confident, secure and in control but I think still with that said you CAN have a partnership. It is about meeting eachother's needs, I suppose. I just find either men have no plan, no clue and are wusses or they are jerks.. the real C&F types that come off as *******s rather than DJ's.

Still I think that selfishness relates to the later a lot more today then let's say 20 years ago.. It's the idea of materialism and yeah, getting a better deal or leaving when things get a little to difficult.. dunno

I think true DJ's are a rare bread and many of them just want to play not settle down..I am not bashing that. Go for it.. But to find one that actually wants a LTR is harder than we might expect. At least I haven't found one yet worthy for me to give. And when I do decide to give it will be forever and hopefully, mutual. Again dunno but I liked your post.

Wow!

 

[mb121]

Where is Ayn Rand when we need her?

 

[tamales]

MB if you are really 15 then my hats off to you! Geesh some of you young guys on here amaze me? Most mainly, make me laugh me arse off. "MY crush just a job at the pizzeria a block away from me!" ROLF!

 

[Starman]

my last oneitus was a selfish little byatch..I would give her cool bday gifts .. and she would give me sh1t that costs like $5 (but she is broke so I didnt care)..

I would help her with homework..she wouldnt say thanks..

I would leave her funny messages with sound effects..and little funny situations (like "Hey..___.I have my foot stuck in a toilet bowl..and didnt know who else to call who had such a big influence on toilets")

and she wouldnt even acknowledge the call..

The funny thing is she pursued me at first..and I was always mean to her..

after she gave me so little I kicked her to the curb.

 

[mb121]

"MB if you are really 15 then my hats off to you!"

I'm really 15, yes, but is this an offensive remark or a positive one? =/

 

[tamales]

MB, it's a compliment. Not many 15 years in my opinion have read THe Fountain Head or many of her books for that matter. And even if they did not sure they would be able to grasp it. Heck as an adult I still have a hard time. But if you tell me you are a big fan of David Mammet (not sure if I spelled that right or Jerry Brown, Or Bob Greene then well, I will have to have be charged for having a thing with a minor

No hard feelings. I just can't believe you are fifteen. I think kids today are a lot smarter and growing up a lot faster than in my day. I mean I am only 30 something but still? I did a number of makeovers for some young girls this past week and when done , they all looked more like 30 than 15! It was a riot.

Good luck!

 

[tamales]

Starman. she was just the WRONG girl. Good going and women love that sort of humor. At least I would have but all in moderation of course. Not AFC.. NEXT And I can't believe she didn't acknowledge that phone call. SHe was probably too stupid to know any better.. Or had a hot bod but zippo personality.

 

[radiodude]

BALANCE!!!!!!!

It's all about balance, and being a healthy well rounded person.

A good marriage is an equal partnership...A best freindship if you will.

However...

It's an equal partnership in 'CONTEXT' to our natural gender roles!!!

The female still has to be feminine, and the male still masculine.

He must be her rock to lean on in life. He must be able to endure, be strong/masculine, protect her, fight for her. He must also be friendly, warm, engaging, affectionate...AND her best friend on top of it all.

She must be inviting, nuturing, supportive, accomidating, feminine, alluring, seductive... AND his best friend on top of it all.

Understand the dynamic??????

It's all in how we mix and match ourselves.

 

[mb121]

Yes, Rand had a lot of things figured out.

I've read Atlas Shrugged, The Foutainhead, We the Living, Anthem, and lots of her other essays in some of her non-fiction work. Her views on selfishness as a virtue, logic, hands off capitalism, etc are wonderful. It all makes sense because pretty much all she writes is 100% consistent with our human nature (which is why DJism works on the playing field with women, and why capitalism works on the financial market).

She is a bit bizaar though. To let you guys know she was a hypocrit in real life (something the objectivists try to keep secret). Right now I'm reading Getting it Right by William F. Buckley Jr., and I have to reccomend it to anyone interested in the conservative movements of the 50's and 60's on up (HINT: Ayn Rand as a real life character).

 

[Starman]

Tamales you are right..she has a great bod and cracks me up..we always joke with each other. But she is selfish, egocentric and began to take my kindness for granted (as if she gets so much kindness..mines a dime a dozen)

heh another time I left this message saying "I got a new kitten! say hello kitty kat! " then I would cue the sound of a bobcat growling..and pretended it was chewing off my leg

 

[SlyDonJuan]

Good topic discussed here

You see, icepick is right here. It has more to do with personality instead of beauty. A girl who is an ugly AFC can play hard to get as well. Funny isnt it? In her mind, she thinks that she is beautfiul and all guys should respect her. I can obviously see that she has a touched of histrionic personality disorder.

On the other hand, a girl who is extremely beautiful who has low self esteem does not play hard to get. This is because she feels that she is ugly, unworthy and only deserves guys who are AFCS. Does this sound a bit of a girl who is depressed although she is beautiful? Sounds funny isnt it?

Most of the time, we are too focused on our own insecurities until we forget that girls do have insecurities as well. I think it is time for us to play upon their insecurities and turn them upside down. Girls have been winning in the game of love and claim that guys are completely clueless. This is an opportunity to prove them wrong.

This forum is becoming like a revolutionary camp of rebellion against women. Both parties are on war.....Let us see who shall be the winner

 

[tamales]

Eek.. War? Okay then, I surrender. Personally, I don't think a war is in order. And women haven't been winning.. For every women who has taunted, teased and left a man hurting there is a women that is in equal pain. And I don't think most women or men for that matter really go out trying to destroy the other sex????

 

[Umbra]

Like hell, tamales. Women have slowly and surely changed the entire structure of society to cater to them. See the following brilliant article:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28564

***

In response to your initial question, however, a woman with the following characteristics makes me slow down:

Attractive - She doesn't have to be gorgeous. I've dated some shallow models and actresses (no one famous) before, and as everyone knows, looks can't carry the whole package. My ideal woman would simply have to be attractive enough to generate sexual arousal. My feelings for her would do the rest.

Humor - She doesn't have to be a comedian. Hell, she doesn't even have to tell the jokes. But I have to be with a woman who can laugh and see the humorous side of life. If she smiles a lot, I like her already.

Intelligence - I don't want a braniac. They are often argumentative and strongly opinionated. But I want a woman who has common sense and can think for herself. I always observe how they handle their finances and how they react to contemporary news stories. She has to be able to hold a lively conversation, to keep it moving.

Maintenance - She can't be high-maintenance. She should take care of herself. I observe her eating habits and her physical health. If she can take care of herself, she can take care of children and even me, if needed. If she doesn't demand my money and time, I want to give even more to her. The only woman I want to take care of is the one who doesn't need it. A woman who never offers to pay for a date is a woman who gets dropped without an explanation.

Social - I want an outgoing woman. Shy women often become boring. Of course, I don't want her to obnoxiously usurp the spotlight, but I like it when I go to a social event and I see my girl talking to lots of people. That means she's adaptable and skilled with people. She's complementary to me. I'm going into business, so a woman who can socialize with different groups is definitely an asset and a gift.

Elegance - No bar floozies, one of those girls who loves drinking at bars and clubs in skanky outfits every weekend. If that's her idea of a good time, I'm running away. Fast. I like women who have more refined tastes. When a woman chooses to go see a movie with me or cook dinner at home over going to a bar or party, I definitely notice. A woman who curses a lot or smokes definitely turns me off.

Adventurous - I embrace change. I need a woman who can do the same. She doesn't necessarily have to do everything I'm daring enough to do. Actually, it's probably better if she's a little more conservative to maintain balance. For example, if I go skydiving, she doesn't have to jump out with me, but I'd like it if she at least goes to the airport to watch me come down. Or if I want to try some exotic food at a new restaurant, at least she's willing to sample it. Or go on a road trip when we have free time. I'm willing to do the same for her. I don't like opera, but if she loves it, I'll be damned if I don't go with her.

Caring - She must show empathy and caring for others. She should think about other people's feelings when she speaks and acts. She should show interest in what other people say. If she isn't interested in anyone else's life but her own, there's a huge problem (this is along the lines of another thread you started about self-centered women).

Sex - She has to like sex. And she has to like it interesting and fun. Of course, this can be overdone as well. I dated a nymphomaniac once, and it adversely affected other areas of my life. But, I will not tolerate a woman who just lays unmoving in bed or only likes sex a few times a week. She has to swallow. No spitting allowed. And she has to shave or trim. I do the same for her.

I think that's pretty detailed. Answer your question, tamales?

 

[Mr. Fingers]

Dang Umbra! I thought I was picky!!! I was gonna write something to contribute but you definitely stole the show here.

That is actually the perfect woman you just described. Kudos to you for actually having standards!

So while I may not be able to help with your question, dear tamales, I believe I can help you out with your cold!

Every time I get sniffles, sneezing etc. I do not reach for Nyquil or any other industrial product. My grandma gave me the only home remedy and I swear by it!

Now I know this sounds gross, but all you need is some organic lemons (yes they MUST be organic) some Grade B Maple Syrup (doesn't have 2 be organic but is preferred) and some cayenne pepper. Sounds heinous right? I find it to be actually quite refreshing and it really cuts the mucus right out of you.

Mix as follows:

- 2 Tablespoons fresh-squeezed Lemon Juice
- 2 Tablespoons Maple Syrup
- A pinch of cayenne (or as much as you can handle...the more the better!)

Mix it all (stir very well) into 8 oz. of spring water and drink it down. Have as many of these as you please (at least 3 or 4 a day) and watch your cold vanish!

Oh, and if you really feel like kicking this cold's ass, and don't mind smelling a little, eat some raw garlic! Take teeny bites if it is too intense and have some slices of cucumber on hand to eat so you can cool that burning sensation. Eat 1-2 cloves a day and then chew on some parsley afterwards to minimize the funk factor.

Hope this helps...
Feel better!

Dr. Fingers has left this thread

Medical Disclaimer: I am not really a doctor. Use at your own risk. Side effects may include foul breath and temporarily decreased macking skills.