Attractive women always have a dude somewhere

[backbreaker]

nmm

 

[backbreaker]

The problem with what star8up said and i was around here for that.. actually, zerko was spot on can't .. you can't have 4 plates, then throw your panties in a bunch when the girl you met has someone else.

the best plate, will always keep spinning. The secret is not to find a woman who has no plates, the secret is to become the most valuable plate she has. the cream will rise to the top. And yes, it does always rise to the top. Been burned, welp guess what, she doesn't make "bad decisions" you just weren't better then her other options. it happens to everyone

It's not an excuse to not date or to try.

Every woman I have taken seriously since. ****, since i was a teenager, has had someone "around". For kat my oneitis, it was the dude she ended up dating besides me. And I did win that one. By the time I had won out i had lost interest. Amber had was literary, weeks out of a 6 year relationship when I met her. WE dated, problem free for a year. Heather had a baby daddy (yes single mom's blah blah, i was feeling her, and that's that), anita.. humm she actually didn't i take that back, she didn't have anyone, Jennifer was dating someone when I met her and she just pretty much said **** him. Ann had just gotten a divorce.. millie had broke up with a guy a few months earlier and had 2 of "those" friends around, I came in and just shook all that **** up as she did for me.

Let her prove herself, let her beg to be with you, let her prove to you that she has dropped that "friend". USE THE SAME EXCUSE THEY USE ON US. When she asks you "how come you are so closed off to me." You say, "sorry, been hurt in the past, it takes TIME for me to fall for a woman." FLAT OUT SAY IT.

it's really just this simple. had i come out in any of those situations and either chastised them for having someone else in the picture or proclaimed my love to them, fake or not, i would have been put in the AFC line. I would even go so far as to say I prefer when a woman has someone else in the picture like that, that she tihnks she is love with. It is a built in excuse to do whatever the **** you want. I played that "what about steven" card for at least 6 months with amber, lol, a while even after I knew damn well she wasn't seeing him anymore lol. I wanted to go out on a date, i wanted to go spend the night over this girls house or visa versa, she'd get mad and I'd just pull out my steven card and say "well babe i mean i am ready to be in a committed relatoinshipo but as long as he is around you can't expect me to just sit at home".

I remember one day after like our 3rd or 4th date, we had just had sex for the first time, and I saw millie (my fiancee) at the track resturant with some guy.. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a tad bit jealous. I was spinning plates, but some plates make better impressions than others and she had made a damn good impression on me. That was one plate i knew i wanted to keep around if i could. so I kinda hung around and saw them kiss. At first I was like crap that sucks.. but then I was like "okay, it's game time"./ lI didn't even bring it up. At least for 2 months I spin plates and would go on dates and when she would throw a fit because i was "philandering" i would say " you know why" and look at her in the eye and she would just get red like she knew. she came forward and told me she was still kinda seeing her ex and she had feelings for him. I told her i knew, and honestly not that I did not care, because I did, but as long as she can have her fun don't expect me to be sitting at home waiting.

This went on for about another month, eventually she cut off all contact with him, made it known so, and got on my case to do the same.

You have to earn that spot, and you do so with your actions, and her feelings. This is why plate spinning is so important. I would have killed myself at home knowing she was doing X with Y or every time I call and she didn't pick up oh she must be on the phone with this person. No i will just call someone else, and when she tries to return the call don't pick up.

I think there's a misunderstanding here. This is not about women spinning plates or having options. We all know they have options. This is about most women who already have a "secret" lover that they will lie to you about. Someone that they are in love with, etc. This is ONE person. This makes it almost impossible for you to overcome. They have this "secret" friend and unknowingly are closed off to meeting anyone else. Which wastes our time, money, and effort. The fact that women lie about this "friend" is the topic. This man has a huge advantage over you, because he has her body, time, and heart.

This is why you don't date a woman, you don't grant that exclusivity until you are 1000% confident you have "broke her ass down" so to speak. Men grant women that title way too easily. That has to be earned. You don't know when you first meet her if she is just trying to pretend she doesn't like a guy anymore, if she is made her man is ****ings omeone else, whatever. Amber told me point blank she went on a date with me just to get back at steven. The date went a little bit better than she thought it would. Even still it took a while but before the date she told me she had no intention on keeping me around. But after thet date she knew she had a decision to make.

When I met amber, she canceled, not 1, not 2, but 3 dates on me. I eventually called her one day and told her "look.. I am not mad at you at all, but listen to what i have to say, i like you,oyu are pretty and seem cool, let's just forget about you canceling the dates I have set time aside for. I'm going to pick you up tomorrow night at 7pm and we are going to see this play, if you don't come or you flake out, i wont' be mad at you but i won't call you again either".
Only then did she agree to go out with me...

We went from that, to her sitting in my living room crying because i won't stop ****ing other women not 3 months later.

women, are not just sitting around, waiting on you to come in their lives. They have lives before you came into the picture. You just have to wedge your ass into it.

stop making excuses and go play the game

 

[KingBeef]

Very, very true. But, it's none of your business. Act like she is single, just keep your guard up. They ALL have someone on the side. In this day and age, when they say "let's be exclusive", what they are saying is "I'm ready to only fuvk you now." It used to be the guy would stop dating his girls, now it's reverse. Exclusive means she gives up the many men she is sleeping with.

They are scandolous. They have the advantage, just play the game. I am glad you saw this, and I think this is one of the best posts on the forum. Many men here think that most of the time, it's them that did something wrong. They blame themselves for a girl's flakiness, inconsistent behavior, etc. What is actually happening (90% of the time), is that they already have someone they are sleeping or tripping over. There is someone disguised as a "friend" that she has that won't give her the attention or the relationship, she keeps tripping over him, so she closes herself to you and others. AND THEN THEY COMPLAIN, that they can't find love. The biggest bullshivt I have ever heard from an HB10 one night was how she couldn't find love, though she confessed later that she was fuvking some guy she wanted for a year who was already married. She was (unknowingly) turning down good, single, successful, and handsome men because her "heart" was with someone else. SUCH BULLSHIVT that I cannot find the words to tell you.

COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU MORE!!!!! :yes: :yes:

 

[KingBeef]

Major Bump!!!

 

[typical]

I don't see where they have any advantage over any guy. Yea they have the edge over the AFC guys out there and due to the "mothered" upbrining most men recieve as a child most men are AFC's.

Once you find this website and wake the fu(k up or find out what your killer mistakes were don't go back and do what Einstien called insanity and that is "doing the same thing again and hoping for a different result".

Seriously spin plates, just do it you will be better off then the millions of losers out there that sit at home on a friday night texting their loved girlfriend who is most likely out on a date with her "guy friend" and about to take his di(k up her ***** a$$ and down her mouth.

Honestly you can't trust anyone over the age of 4 years old, they will lie cheat and backstab you anyway they can if it means they can have their cake and eat it too.

Thus you spin plates and make it blatently obvious that you are dating multiple women, it sorts out the girls who want the constant attention from the women who are after something more real. And even then don't stop until you can bet you left nut that she is only seeing you.

If she cant drop her plates then nor can you end of story end of discussion. Some of you need to wake up and realize that the dating scene has changed in a million ways in the last decade or so.

For the guys that have been burned by women who are doing this all I can say is catch up while you can or settle for the next cute gal that really fancies you because this takes a bit of effort but the rewards and fun are awesome.

 

[zekko]

They started it, and its 1000% easier for them.

I agree it is a lot easier for women to spin plates, and it comes naturally to them.
First off, women are generally more sociable than men (all those years of sitting in the cave together while the men are off hunting).
Secondly, all they have to do is accept invitations.

 

[Solomon]

nice

I don't see where they have any advantage over any guy. Yea they have the edge over the AFC guys out there and due to the "mothered" upbrining most men recieve as a child most men are AFC's.

Once you find this website and wake the fu(k up or find out what your killer mistakes were don't go back and do what Einstien called insanity and that is "doing the same thing again and hoping for a different result".

Seriously spin plates, just do it you will be better off then the millions of losers out there that sit at home on a friday night texting their loved girlfriend who is most likely out on a date with her "guy friend" and about to take his di(k up her ***** a$$ and down her mouth.

Honestly you can't trust anyone over the age of 4 years old, they will lie cheat and backstab you anyway they can if it means they can have their cake and eat it too.

Thus you spin plates and make it blatently obvious that you are dating multiple women, it sorts out the girls who want the constant attention from the women who are after something more real. And even then don't stop until you can bet you left nut that she is only seeing you.

If she cant drop her plates then nor can you end of story end of discussion. Some of you need to wake up and realize that the dating scene has changed in a million ways in the last decade or so.

For the guys that have been burned by women who are doing this all I can say is catch up while you can or settle for the next cute gal that really fancies you because this takes a bit of effort but the rewards and fun are awesome.

+REP(not saying anything new but it needs to be said regardless)

Guys need to find solutions to these problems instead of going on a tangent for 10 pages whining, solutions is what the Game is about.

Spinning Plates
Focusing on yourself
Being Indifferent towards the outcome
abundance
Positive mindset

^^these are all universal things which can not only help you with game but in life

 

[The_411]

^ Amen.

Way too much energy is being spent on this topic. You can't change how someone acts. Girls who posture as being available but hide a FB etc are either are low quality women or temporarily low quality women until they can divest themselves of their fling/baggage etc to be completely available.

There's a reason it's said you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

I'm not justifying anything here but rather suggesting that a woman needs to show you she's of high quality before you commit to anything or even begin to think LTR. You should assume she's still dating until you have spent enough time with her to determine

a) she's not psycho
b) has values that fall in line with yours
c) she demonstrates through her actions not her words that she is respectful, loving, and caring.
d) there's no one else on the side.

Don't be afraid to walk away if she doesn't meet your criteria. Don't settle for nonsense, disrespect, or scraps. Sure's it's not always easy to walk away but in doing so you're not going to waste time better spent pursuing more fruitful endeavors.

 

[Solomon]

^ Amen.

Way too much energy is being spent on this topic. You can't change how someone acts. Girls who posture as being available but hide a FB etc are either are low quality women or temporarily low quality women until they can divest themselves of their fling/baggage etc to be completely available.

There's a reason it's said you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

I'm not justifying anything here but rather suggesting that a woman needs to show you she's of high quality before you commit to anything or even begin to think LTR. You should assume she's still dating until you have spent enough time with her to determine

a) she's not psycho
b) has values that fall in line with yours
c) she demonstrates through her actions not her words that she is respectful, loving, and caring.
d) there's no one else on the side.

Don't be afraid to walk away if she doesn't meet your criteria. Don't settle for nonsense, disrespect, or scraps. Sure's it's not always easy to walk away but in doing so you're not going to waste time better spent pursuing more fruitful endeavors.

+1 repped

GREAT POST

NOTHING ELSE TO ADD

 

[georgie24]

^ Amen.

Way too much energy is being spent on this topic. You can't change how someone acts. Girls who posture as being available but hide a FB etc are either are low quality women or temporarily low quality women until they can divest themselves of their fling/baggage etc to be completely available.

There's a reason it's said you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

I'm not justifying anything here but rather suggesting that a woman needs to show you she's of high quality before you commit to anything or even begin to think LTR. You should assume she's still dating until you have spent enough time with her to determine

a) she's not psycho
b) has values that fall in line with yours
c) she demonstrates through her actions not her words that she is respectful, loving, and caring.
d) there's no one else on the side.

Don't be afraid to walk away if she doesn't meet your criteria. Don't settle for nonsense, disrespect, or scraps. Sure's it's not always easy to walk away but in doing so you're not going to waste time better spent pursuing more fruitful endeavors.

Bingo, i agree this is the real deal


the way you guys handle yourselves emotionally is up to you, but what you need to know to prosper is written in this post PERIOD.

 

[Falcon25]

The last five or so posts have nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Reading comprehension skill are minimum at best on this thread. These people still think I'm talking about a fuvk buddy for a woman. Oh well, some got the point. Thanks Jophil, for the very clear explanation.

 

[Falcon25]

FALCON's point is not that these women go out with other guys or "multi date" , but rather they act as if they are single and unencumbered by any past relationship, when the reality is that they are sleeping with a man who is unavailable or unwilling to be in a relationship with her. Oftentimes these women have been rejected by their 'lover' as an LTR but stays with him and sleeps with him in the hope that he will change his mind.
She is sometimes driven by the belief that he "does not know his own mind", or othertimes, simply because she wants what she can't have.
Sometimes that guy can be a secret "married man" whom she fell for .
In any case these women are frequently deeply committed to their connection with the guy inspite of their claims to the contrary. They are "invested" in these relationships at the "in love with him " level, even though she will strenuosly claim not to be -- her actions speak truth, however.

Because these secret relationships are emotionally incomplete, she often seeks the company of men on dating sites(and in bars)
The lie that these women present to other men in their online presentation or across the restaurant table is that there is NO OTHER MAN ( or she eventually tries to innocently reveal him as a "good friend" only.)

THe core argument here is her blatant , deliberate deception of the men whom she dates, and who clearly have a reasonable expectation that she is as single as she claims to be.

It's good to know that you can read, as well as you write, my friend. Can always count on you to understand what is actually being written. Thanks to others who understood what I was talking about as well. It can be very frustrating to write something down, and have it misinterpreted.

 

[georgie24]

falcon

just accept the fact you have flaws within yourself just like me and post of the guys here. i have had LTRS that were completet basket cases but theres something emotionally going on with me that allows it.

It stops here with me, id rather be alone then miserable with a ball and chain partner if i cant see and adjust the way i keep women.

 

[The_411]

The last five or so posts have nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Reading comprehension skill are minimum at best on this thread. These people still think I'm talking about a fuvk buddy for a woman. Oh well, some got the point. Thanks Jophil, for the very clear explanation.

On the contrary, perhaps you are failing to understand the point that was made. I don't think anyone will disagree that there many a scandalous woman with bad intentions. We've all gotten stuck with a woman who wasn't as she appeared.

However, not everything should fall on the woman. In order to continue with these trysts or fanatasies they have to be displaying some signals in the relationship that not everything is kosher.

That, my friend, is where we as men are culpable. Those signs almost always come off as disrespectful behavior or lack of interest. It's up to the man to recognize that this girl isn't focused on me, or she's seems distant.

When this is the case the man needs to pay attention and jduge whether it's a small blimp or time to get out.

This is true from day one as it is true 10 years in ...

Until you put a rock on her finger you're still dating.

 

[jophil28]

However, not everything should fall on the woman. In order to continue with these trysts or fanatasies they have to be displaying some signals in the relationship that not everything is kosher.

That, my friend, is where we as men are culpable. Those signs almost always come off as disrespectful behavior or lack of interest. It's up to the man to recognize that this girl isn't focused on me, or she's seems distant.

Some valid points there.

Several years ago I had a 12 month fling with a woman who had a long term secret lover in the shadows and she also casually went out with two other guys (initially behind my back). She was having the time of her life while pretending to me that she was looking for a man to settle down with.
About two months into our relationship, she stayed over at my place one weekend. We did some serious nookie until about noon Sunday and then, in the afterglow, she said," Jophil, I would like a "male friend"....WTF!
I just ignored it and carried on as normal -I saw it as a sh!t test.
Turned out she was cunningly introducing to me the reality of the existence of one of her other several male "friends".

Why didn't I just tip her out of my bed, and my life?

 

[jophil28]

dupe post.

 

[typical]

Some valid points there.

Several years ago I had a 12 month fling with a woman who had a long term secret lover in the shadows and she also casually went out with two other guys (initially behind my back). She was having the time of her life while pretending to me that she was looking for a man to settle down with.
About two months into our relationship, she stayed over at my place one weekend. We did some serious nookie until about noon Sunday and then, in the afterglow, she said," Jophil, I would like a "male friend"....WTF!
I just ignored it and carried on as normal -I saw it as a sh!t test.
Turned out she was cunningly introducing to me the reality of the existence of one of her other several male "friends".

Why didn't I just tip her out of my bed, and my life?

It's because you had a emotional investment in her and somewhere deep down you thought you could make it work out even though your gut was telling you to bail out on that lady.

Trust your gut it never makes a mistake, if you ever have a niggle that things are not right take the rest of the afternoon or day off and think things through make your mind up and stick with it. Like I said I spent 4 years with a girl who was screwing me but telling everyone else I was just a "friend" untill she just happened to meet mr right. Mr right was a short fat balding man who owned his own house thats all.

The red flags were there from day one but as I was spinning plates I didn't care, I messed up and got rid of my plates so I could work out a relationship with her, four years later and $250,000 poorer I regret not listening to my gut and wasting away the precious time and money on a very messed up chick. I'm lucky that I'm only 27 and can still make my fortune again.

So listen to me and please for the love of yourself and your own mental health spin plates and stop even trying to explain why some low quality chick doesn't want a relationship with you. Cause when the sh!t hits the fan they will settle for any loser that can provide a stable "nest" so she can raise her family.

I bet my left and right nut that in 2 to 4 years time that girl will again crawl back to me or will end up trying to cheat on her husband with me or the next guy that takes her fancy. Seriously in hindsight if I took the time to take my own head out of my a$$ I would have avoided her like the plague. She was a classic cluster b chick and back then was a 8 but today I'd give her a 4 or 5 due to the weight gain. I could go on and on and describe exactly all the signs that will come up and all the little messed up things which happened during the four years that I should have picked up on but I know most guys already know the signs.

Heres food for thought while blowing me off she was texting a old highschool orbiter and getting him to do her assignments and CV and here I was thinking she would make good wife material. Take it from me you do not want anything to do with a girl like this. So spin plates and ditch the low quality women.

EDIT: Before you slam me by saying well I can't judge her as I was spinning plates blah blah, yea I spun plates but all the girls knew I was not dating exclusively nor did I "use" any girl for any favours it was just dating to get to know them better thats all the useless ones I would ditch the good ones I'd keep. I don't know where it went wrong but hey I messed up, so learn from my experience and keep spinning.

 

[Delly2000]

I know exactly what everyone is talking about. I was dating this very attractive woman. If we walk people would stop and stare...or do the turn around look back. When we first started dating she let on that she had alot of guy friends. Tomboy excuse. Yadda yadda yadda.

On one date I must have pissed her off a bit because I came to the door to pick her up (she didn't want her family meet me yet). So while I was driving to my house in my car she calls one of her guy "friends" to ask them what they were doing. I didnt pay it too much attention. I was spinning plates. It was a flag.

Then after a few months I caught feelings. She says she isn't sleeping with anyone else. Then the sex stops. She is going on group dates with guy friends and her girlfriends. Saying she gonna spend time with me and getting home 630 in the morning instead protesting that her phone died.

Oh and she uses these guy friends. Let her use their second car. Give her a phone. Pick her up and take her places. I dont see the point in having all these guys friends and you know they want to bone you.

I guess I was the guy that would give her romantice feelings. Taking her to dinner and plays and concerts (things you do with someone you want to share good experiences with). Stuying together at school. We were having fun. But alas I was just one character in her play.

Finally had a big blow up argument about the no sex thing and her being distant. Just felt something in my gut. So it ended. I wont lie I miss her. But she isn't trying to contact me. She moved on...or I have already served my purpose and she has a replacement.

She must have been banging other dudes or had one that was on layaway and when our relationship went sour moved him back to the top of the stack. But in the end she vehmently denied there was anyone else...and that "she just wants to be alone right now"....yeah right.

 

[jophil28]

Turned out she was cunningly introducing to me the reality of the existence of one of her other several male "friends".

Why didn't I just tip her out of my bed, and my life?

To add- she started to tell me more about him over the next few months.She was seeing him a few times a month.

She claimed that he was an ex Catholic priest who was attracted to "unavailable" women...and so on. She claimed that she enjoyed their talks about God.

It turned out that he was never a priest. He was just a HS math teacher trying to wine and dine his way into in her pants.

 

[backbreaker]

To add- she started to tell me more about him over the next few months.She was seeing him a few times a month.

She claimed that he was an ex Catholic priest who was attracted to "unavailable" women...and so on. She claimed that she enjoyed their talks about God.

It turned out that he was never a priest. He was just a HS math teacher trying to wine and dine his way into in her pants.

I remember when I found out amber cheated on me. Honestly, I wasn't even mad, or upset, even after a year. I had it coming. I had too many bad habits and I knew it and I had put on too much weight. She lost attraction to me.

However, I still did not respect that she did not just break up with me. I would have given her another chance had she done that. But she thought she had to cheat.

Anyway, when she was sitting in my living room and trying to apologize I remember saying " I don't know why you are apologizing to me for, lol, i'm not the one that just got ****ed over,you just ****ed yourself out of a life with me"

women, never stop amazing me.. we talk about men thinking with their little heads instead of their big heads, women are worse as a collective hole.

Last time I talked to her she was living with her sister in a different state with no job. Girl had it ****ing made.

I avoid women who feel the need to create drama. My old onenitis would drum up this ****, get me in the car at hte park at night and kiss me and ****, then talk about how confused she was and ****, manufactured drama.