Attraction to uglier girls a self-esteem problem?

[naoi deag se deag]

I wish attraction was more logical...

Something I've noticed about myself and a lot of my friends is that we're okay with scoring lower-level girls. I decided at some point that I was okay with an HB6 if she had a nice feature about her, and would then act on that. However, as I've progressed down this path, I've noticed that I'm attracted to more generally attractive girls. Whereas I found your average HB8.5 to be beautiful before, I'd usually not find them to be as sexually attractive as an HB6.5 with some kind of sexual "vibe". This has changed with a rise in my self-esteem. I'm with an HB8 right now who is just about the opposite of my last girlfriend - tall, long-legged, pretty face, tight body, and small breasts. Yet sometimes I find myself looking to uglier girls and thinking I'd have better sexual chemistry with them.

Thus, my problem: is attraction to uglier girls a self-esteem issue? Is it that I think I can't get more attractive girls, or is it that I actually like these uglier girls? In my experience, the things they say about uglier girls having better personalities is totally voided by their low self-esteem. In a more general sense, are guys who go after the uglier girls and saying they like them (for instance, a fat fetish) backwards-rationalizing their self-esteem issue or are fetishes like that legit? I remember Diablo weighing in on this awhile ago; maybe he could help me out again.

 

[Lost In Translation]

just get your eyes checked out by your doctor

maybe you need glasses





Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[xblitz44x]

No way. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. Just because what you think is attractive doesn't agree with what MTV tries to brainwash you with, doesn't mean you have low self esteem.

 

[rgeere]

Yeah, just look at those dating shows. Some of the people they try to sterotype as attractive are total AFCs and not really what they make them out to be.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
No way. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. Just because what you think is attractive doesn't agree with what MTV tries to brainwash you with, doesn't mean you have low self esteem.

You beat me too it.



Amen to that

 

[naoi deag se deag]

Thanks guys. That's what I always thought too, but I think it's funny that my tastes change towards higher-status women as I become a higher-status male myself. That's why I was wondering about this. You don't think there's any truth to it?

 

[Alpine]

Do you mean ugly or plain Janes?

I like banging plain Janes with very good bods. None of them had problems themselves, very balanced emotionally, willing to please etc etc.

Personally I found the real ones with 'issues' are the HB8+ with their daddy's little girl concept of the world and eating disorder, self harming attention seeking behaviour.

You may feel out of your comfort zone if you try hotties, but I wouldn't try and analyse the root cause. Keep on improving yourself mentally and physically and just go with what you fancy.

 

[wind20mph]

Attraction is what you feel... Not what you see.

Now if you have problem with the responses of who is attracted to you, then you need to discover how you attract the wrong ones so that you can use it in the right ones.

 

[naoi deag se deag]

Originally posted by wind20mph
Attraction is what you feel... Not what you see.

Now if you have problem with the responses of who is attracted to you, then you need to discover how you attract the wrong ones so that you can use it in the right ones.

It's not who I'm attracting, it's who I'm attracted to. The weird thing is, I'm finding myself wanting to spend more time with the less attractive girls when I have more attractive girls lined up.

Hasn't anyone else noticed this? It's getting a little maddening. I like to be introspective, so I like to ask questions about where I'm going and where I came from. None of you have found your tastes in women changing to higher status ladies as you progressed? I'd really like to hear from people who started out really sucking with women and progressed to find a lot of success. Anyone?

 

[shagnscoob]

LOL. this threadis funny ill explain why--

when i was young i could always get a girl or two, because im a pretty good looking guy. but i never took into account how hot they were or whateve,r i just remember on one specific occasion i got the most beautiful girl ever, but i was a total AFC about it and i still dont really know why i got her.
but that doesnt matter because when i started trying to DJ there was a specific girl in mind who was super hot, a 10 easy. after that it went downhill, i didnt get her but we went out a few times.
i started seeing other girls mostly girls that werent as attractive as others, mostly because i really hit it off with them better than with their super hot friends, and its STILL like that. one day my friend said 'dude now that your getting chicks, why dont you raise your standards a little?' because it was clear that the chicks i was getting werent as hot as chicks i could get....



unfortunately dude, i STILL havent solved this problem. ive got beautiful girls that i COULD be doing stuffwith, yet the girls im really getting IOI's from are the other ones....


i think its a long road from coming from nothing to DJ and on that road youll see changes, and one of those changes is in the women you like to be around and have fun with, or maybe im just totally wrong.
what happens is that we do better with the girls that dont look as good, and thus we SEE that they have a better sexual vibe around us, because they are more open about to us because we've done our job correctly. HOWEVER this sexual vibe exists in all women, and our job is to bring it out in the best of them, and neither of us (you and i) are doing a very good job of it with the really hot girls.

i advise you to go for what you like, and start meeting more super attractive women and i think eventually things will balance out. your luck with the better girls will change over time, ive noticed it myself.

 

[penguin]

I know how it is. I'm kind of the same. I wouldn't say attracted to "ugly", but more "average". For me, it's (I think) because I see the typical "hot" so much that' it's boring me. I see it in magazines, tv, movies, whatever. It's everywhere, and everyone's trying to be it. Booring.

To me, the 'less-hot' ones have a uniqueness that is very attractive. They have their own little physical quirks or whatever. Whereas the typical "hot" type i've seen so many times it gets boring.

Don't get me wrong the typical "hot" is attractive, it just doesn't quite do it for me these days.

Anyway, yeah that's one perspective on it.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by penguin


To me, the 'less-hot' ones have a uniqueness that is very attractive. They have their own little physical quirks or whatever. Whereas the typical "hot" type i've seen so many times it gets boring.

Don't get me wrong the typical "hot" is attractive, it just doesn't quite do it for me these days.

I agree, the ones i have been attracted to in the past have always been the average faced girls, they DO have a unique vibe to them that adds to their already interesting personality.

I have 2 friends that are truly obsessed with scoping out the 9-10's in the street. I know that they know that hot looks arent everything, they just got this macho-male **** crap going on. But there comes a point in life where you have to look beyond the book's cover as a basis for attraction.

To me, there are more important things in life than scoping for 10's in the street. to me "HOT" is just eyecandy, you've gotta have more to yourself than good looks to maintain a steady relationship with any guy.

The other day in the restaurant i saw this very cute HB6/7....Sure she wasnt HOT but she was very attractive nonetheless, she had a smile to die for...and if i got to know her i'd easily give her a 10 in my book. but sadly she was taken.

I dont believe this to be a self-esteem issue, but this is more of a personal preference thing.

 

[italostud]

It's all your personal preference. Me, I like girls that aren't anorexic. Girls with a nice bubble butt. Something like 5'5 130lbs or somewhere around there.

Now, I have friends who are just as good with the ladies, but who go for really skinny white chicks.

Different strokes bro.