Attracting Women While Fat

[BringingSexyBack]

Is it possible to be successful with women while fat (and not rich)?

My marriage just ended. My wife was at least an HB8, who weighs 110 lbs. She is also smart and makes good money. I can't say that I didn't deserve for this to happen. When we first got together she saw my potential, and I convinced her that my potential was enough of a reason to marry me. I have a lot of very good qualities, everything except for my weight. I promised her that I would lose the weight, and after 5 years it hasn't happened. I only got fatter. I lied to her about how much I ate. I would get fast food and not tell her about it. I basically had no self control, and no self respect.

Even though it has been extremely painful, this breakup is ultimately good for me. It's the wake-up call that I needed. I'm 30 years old, and it's either get my ass in gear and become the guy that I always could have been, or live alone for the rest of my life and die young from a heart attack. I'm definitely choosing the more positive option. I've started going to the gym more than ever, and I'm finally getting control of my diet. I will definitely lose this weight, but it's going to take a little while. If I work extremely hard I might be able to lose 100lbs in 6-8 months.

Anyone can look at my face and see that I have the potential to be very attractive. I get told so all the time by several people. I also still look quite young, I could pass for somebody in their mid 20s. Right now I have absolutely no confidence though. I can try to fake it, but in the back of my head I always know that any girl that looks at me just sees this big fat guy. Most girls don't even look at me.

So am I just destined to be lonely and socially isolated until I get this weight off, or is there any way for me to have fun and enjoy the opposite sex between now and then? Because of my weight I've always been a bit of a loner and quite introverted, but I don't want to be. I want to get out and meet women and even develop more friendships with guys.

I could probably get back with my wife after I lost weight, but I don't want to rely on that, and I really want to make her a bit jealous. It'll be for her own good. I think she would love to be with me and be threatened by other women trying to steal me.

And yeah it's hypocritical, but I do not want to be with any fat women. lol

 

[MikeBrown30]

Go and purchase a gym membership tomorrow.

 

[BringingSexyBack]

Go and purchase a gym membership tomorrow.

I have one. I've been going 3-4 days a week lately. I need to step it up even more though.

 

[Joe Stud]

if you say you need to lose a hundred pounds... go get bariatric surgery. be pragmatic, and get it done.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I basically had no self control, and no self respect.


That is the larger problem.

Find something you enjoy that happens to involve good cardio. Boxing and fighting sports are good, but there are plenty of others. As long as it is fun, you will keep at it.

 

[BobMo']

Find one that goes for the "Teddy-bear" type.

 

[blue_eyed_devil]

I gained about 40 lbs. in my last relationship. I wasn't really fat, just slightly moon-faced and had a bit of an executive-type gut. I weighed about 210 lbs. at 5'9". I looked about the way that most guys my age look. Maybe a little better, frankly.

As a side note, I used to dye my hair because I was afraid of being gray, of being seen as "old."

After we broke up -- okay, a little before, actually, as I returned to a boxing gym to work out my frustrations in the last few months of the relationship -- I lost weight. I lost a lot of weight. I'm down to 180 lbs. Right about the time I hit 185, when my jaw was getting chiseled again and my beltline was back to a 34, I quit dying my hair and cut it to finger-length with a fade. No spikes, no gel. I quit trying to look 25 and accepted being a fit nearly-40-year-old. I immediately had women -- even younger ones -- starting conversations with me.

A buff, confident older guy is RARE. Rarity puts you in demand.

I'm currently dating 2 HB8's and working a HB9. The 8's are 26 and 22 years old. The 9 is 34.

Lose the weight, guys. Not just the OP, all of you.

 

[zekko]

I have one. I've been going 3-4 days a week lately. I need to step it up even more though.

If your diet is out of control you can work out all you want and you're not going to lose weight. Good work on getting into the gym though, keep it up.

I used to dye my hair because I was afraid of being gray, of being seen as "old."

The problem with dying your hair is it can look fake, and women don't like that. Women dye their hair all the time and it can look fake, but we expect that so it isn't an issue. Some women think guys who dye their hair are insecure about thier age, and of course they don't like that.

 

[Slickster]

If you are 100 lbs overweight then forget about chicks right now.

Not because you can't attract them but because YOU and your HEALTH are FAR more important! Don't waste a moment worrying about women right now.

Forget about making your wife jealous too. That's a poor mindset.

You need to work on your body and mind. Get your confidence, self respect, self control back.

After that everything in your whole life will magically fall into place and the women will be falling into your bed.

 

[Joe Stud]

you heard me. get an appointment

 

[thezenmachine]

Hey, if you want to lose weight, check out the paleo diet. I hold 8% bodyfat doing this EASILY and I'm not even super strict. I do have a hardcore workout routine, though. www.robbwolf.com has pretty much all the info you need for free. Listen to the podcasts! I recommend this to everyone.

 

[squirrels]

Go and purchase a gym membership tomorrow.

Reading is your friend.

To the OP, you might be able to get with some 6s, but the 8s and 9s are gonna be tough until you drop the weight. 100# overweight is significant.

Good on ya for whipping your ass back into shape, though. Whether you get laid or not, you will start to feel better about yourself as you shed that crap off.

Consider picking up an athletic hobby to keep you motivated. Just running on a treadmill gets old after a while.

 

[wjh]

Consider picking up an athletic hobby to keep you motivated. Just running on a treadmill gets old after a while.

This is great advice. I hate doing cardio at the gym because of how boring it is.

 

[mix_master]

First of all, recognize that most Americans are already overweight to begin with, so if you want to be in the average range, well, you are already closer than you think (unfortunately).

Second point, and I think this is obvious, if you are "just" 10-15 lbs over weight, it won't make much of a difference, unless you happen to walk around naked or wear a sign around your neck which posts your body fat percentage.

There is a certain tipping point however, if you will, at which some, and then lots of women, will disqualify you. But it's probably a lot higher than you think.

---

Part of the purpose of this post is to offer reassurance that you are indeed a 'normal' person, and that therefore you can begin gaming. However, it's also notice that if you improve your health and appearance, this improvement will be a significant plus in your ledger.

Simple.

 

[princelydeeds]

First change your name.... no straight guy should ever associate himself with what is without a doubt, one of the gayest songs ever!...... :box:

Sorry... it had to be said..... :rockon:

Second Read the DJ Bible... it helps a ton!

 

[Fuglydude]

Honestly man, I gotta give you props for being able to land a chic like that while you were fat... You must have mad game. Hot girls who are smart and make good money are tough to come by... that sucks that you lost a girl like that, but as you said you can use this as an opportunity to really catalyze a transformation. You can easily pick up the occassional BJ from a fatty along the way, but I think you should really focus on your health and physique. You can also use this time to improve other aspects of your life such as your career.

I don't post much outside the fitness forum basically because many posts in other forums leave me shaking my head in disgust. I think many of the posters on this site underestimate the importance of being fit. They also make things overly complicated and end up screwing themselves in the process. To me dating/picking up women is simple... you gotta demonstrate sexual/social value to have success. I've never had lots of money when I was single as I was a fulltime student so this is the only avenue I know. Its not rocket science... when you look good, women are attracted to you... they can't help it... its fundamental biology.

I've been in the male entertainment industry for several years and impact of being in elite shape cannot be overstated. THe only reason a male entertainment industry industry even exists is cuz your avg. joe looks like crap. The way girls react during shows when you're taking your clothes off and the number of attached girls that are willing to suck your cack outside in a parked car is absurd. When you're in great shape you'll ooze sexual confidence and girls will be attracted to you like flies to dog crap. As one poster said a mature guy who's in elite shape and got his shiite together is rare.... much more so than a hb8, or hb9.

I'm not sure what your ex-wife looked like, but my gf is what I'd consider a HB7.5-8:
http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m91/Treydesmon/5158_92776425957_500400957_2062668_.jpg


She models semi-professionally, and says that after dating me, "normal" guys have minimal sexual value to her.

Being in shape has so many intrinsic benefits other than getting laid. It will force you to have self control, and in doing so help you drastically improve other areas of your life such as career, education, etc. I'm not even gonna get into the health benefits. It will make you mentally strong/tough, which is one thing Western society doesn't exactly cultivate in the modern male. Overall, you''ll obviously be happier... and isn't that the point of existence?

You're only 30 years old... You've got so much time ahead to improve yourself, be happy and live the life that you want. You may see losing your ex-wife as a failure, but failures aren't bad as long as you learn and improve from them.

...and for the record, fat chics give good head... cuz they're always hungry