Attitude constantly and sex 2 times a week with ltr

[Tiguere]

I'm sure there is another male involve.

 

[jophil28]

thought i would give u guys an update. past 3 days ive been coming home at 11pm. shes usually in bed by then so we havnt talked much. soon as i get in bed she cuddles a bit then falls asleep. im sure she knows im u to something becuz of the change on my habit. last nite i was out drinkn with some buddies staying out til 1am. this morning we both got up same tikme to go to work and she seemed bit angry and frustrated. asked her if she wantd to go to the comedy improv toite and she quikcly relied "/no!". dont know if this is good but atleast shes seeing a different side and non needy.

Rom, when a woman behaves like she does, she is telling you a lot about how she sees you, and what she thinks of you ..
IF there were any hope of your turning this around it would need to be predicated on SOME residual interest level on her part.
IF there were some sexual IL left in her, she would be schmoozing up to you right now after your BNO and your withdrawal of your attention.
She would be starting to chase what she is missing from you, and you would be experiencing some typical feminine attention seeking behavior.

Instead, when you offered to spend time with her and take her out to the comedy club, she just snapped at you. What a fukking snarly shrew.
She does NOT miss your affection and attention she is just angry that somehow she has lost just a little of all the control that you handed her.
Her angry retort is her way of attempting to pull you back in line.
She regards you as a child who is misbehaving and needs to be reprimanded with one of Mommie's harsh words.

Damned if I know why you continue to try to create anything worthwhile with this harpie.
IF I were you I would grab what is left of my dignity and eject before you revert to your old AFC ways.

 

[AMDG]

she quikcly relied "/no!".

Are you addicted to her or something ? She does not like you and is angry because her influence is diminishing. You can be more than a slave to her needs.

 

[AAAgent]

see when i moved in with my last ex, i never paid rent and she even helped me pay for my bills. On top of that we had sex all the time to the point where i would not want it anymore and i would have to give in to satisfy her needs.

Well it wasn't exactly heaven on earth since she's a bpd. we would literally break up once every two weeks or more and then have make up sex. Once things started to settle down and get comfortable we would break up again.

i made myself seem like the catch and ontop of that i was always busy so by staying over her place she got to see me more.

2 times a week isn't that bad but the way she's acting and treating you just sounds like she doesn't care. if i were you i'd just save up money to move out as well as pack your things. you can stay with her or leave her but if she ask's why you're moving out just say you need to work some of your priorities out. If she doesn't care then she's not a priority and if she does you still need to make her prove herself after all that bs you put up with.

i've ignored past girlfriend phone calls for many days before until i felt like they've repented for their bad behavior. you gotta keep them in check sometimes or they'll just revert back to trying to boss you around.

 

[Die Hard]

Everytime i have a serious discusion about how I want change from her and if she doesnt Ill walk away, she says "ill try". but doesnt.

You do it to yourself, man. And the quote above proves it. She is not your problem, YOU are your problem. You tell her you'll walk away if she doesn't change but you don't back it up. It's like telling yourself: "I'm gonna go wake up early tomorrow and work out in the gym!" Then the next day, you stay in bed and do nothing. So if your body looks like ****, it's your own fault, you didn't follow through on your decision to work out. Same goes for the relationship trouble: You tell yourself: "I'm gonna walk away if she doesn't change!" Then when she doesn't change, you just stay with her. SO if you're unhappy in this relationship, it's your own fault!

Step away from this relationship, it's over! She's not gonna change and you don't have the skills to make her change. But by leaving this relationship, you are taking a big step on the way to devlop those skills. It's about not being dependant of your emotions for a girl...you walk away from her, even though it hurts. If you can do that succesfully, you'll be setting a standard for yourself. Next time a woman treats you wrong, you'll remember: "Hey, last time this happened, I walked away, even though it hurt...If I could do it then, I can do it now!" and you'll do it again. This is where it starts, with this relationship you're in now. After this you will never take similar **** from women again! Your "game" will improve a lot just because of this decision to leave her now and you will only do better with women in the future because of it!

You cannot change her...but you can change yourself!

 

[st_99]

Only you REALLY know if your relationship is worth trying to right. Do a little soul searching and ask yourself if you really want to be with this girl for the long term? Do you love her, does she love you? Be honest with yourself, don't only remember the good times, weight the bad times also. I was in a relationship that was 90% bad, 10% good and for some reason I only focused on the good stuff.

The important thing is to be brutally honest with yourself, you may find you can't stand this girl and she is completely wrong for you.

Then, if you've decided to move on just set a date, prepare yourself, and end it.

DON'T WASTE TIME, I made that mistake and it cost me valuable years of self development. There are soooo many awesome girls out there.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Dump her NOW.

If you are to ever have a "successful" relationship with her in the future, it's the only way.

Take command.

 

[jonwon]

Has others have already put here, the problem and this is important is not your GF, it is you.

Remember that.

Somewhere in the relationship, you allowed yourself to be predictable, probably thinking such things like "I need to keep her happy". Stuff like that, don't worry most guys here have been there too.

You see some guys in relationships try to make it 'work', but they make it work around westernised feminized brainwashing. Successful marriages if you look at them and relationships, the guy is usually some sort independent entity whow is the head of the relationship, he is in charge, and the unsuccesful ones have the guy walking around like a pet dog to some ball busting bitc*.

Your setting yourself up for the latter.

In future relationships you need to be concurent with the male core inside, and make zero apologies for doing what you do. Get rid of the nice guy, white knight keeping her happy bull-shi* and concentrate on keeping yourself happy. You can be a nice guy, but not the boring predictable got to please her no matter what and she is right about everything and she can do no wrong, nice guy.

Women sh*t test in relationships, they chip away at your male armor and at some stage you allowed her to strip away yours and it turns them into bitter shrews. Women chip away, but they are never happy with the results if they are succesful.

Or you allowed yourself to settle for second best or a women with red-flags because it was available.

First port of call is to stand up to this shrew, pay her back in kind, seriously her bratty actions should be religating her to garbage in your mind. If my girl acted like your girl, I would seriously be thinking of replacing her, rather then arguing my case.

At least your on a better path, you have been rewarding her shi&&y atitude by begging for sex and rewarding her for treating you like garbage by being more needy, probably scared to loose her, when on the contrary you should be getting pis*ed at her bratty attitude instead.

Give her the gift of missing you, seriously in this situation I feel if you want a testosterone shot, get out there bone another girl. Then you wont be complaining to your GF your not getting sex, instead the more she acts like a bitter cun*, the more you'll want to tap the other girl on the side. That to me is the best cure.

Your girl is acting like a bitter shrew because she has your armor chipped to chump. The best injection is to get your balls stroked by some other girl, that will infuse your male core with the aloof A-hole your current GF secretly wants, that all women want, but never admit it.

Man up, or if this relationship carries on, your GF will at least be: Fat, watching Oprah whilst you come in from a hard days work. The type of couple you see when your out in supermarkets, the Fat ugly ball-busting looks like she is swolling a wasp, towing the guy behind her, who looks like an emascualted puss*.

Further edit:

for starters start thinking about being the discission maker, even stupid things like going out for a burger. She gives you some run around, for example you toss her two examples, she says she doesn't know. Make the choice for her. Even little things like this add up, take charge, make the choices, make the decisions. She wants to decorate the house, she aint doing shi* till she has run it by you. Be the man, be the one she has to look up to, the one she has to get permission to do things for, the one who makes decissions for her.

"Shall we head to the pictures or go out for a meal.

You say

"Let's go catch a film there is this horror i want to see"

Even if she doesn't like horrors.

Seriously, women lable this cra* has ars*hole, but they get wetter then April, when they are lead.

Lead the bitc* the rest will follow, but first you need to get back your authority, so far she has stripped it to chump that is the hardest test.

You want sex on tap? You need to be the man of the fuc&*ing house. It really is that simple, women do not ge wet fot beta's, they keep them on for emotional and financial support.

Also take the pis* out of her, yes that is right, she does something dumb, bust her as* on it. You'd think this was counter productive, most westernised feminsed pus** men do. But that shi* is like a silver bullet, every guy should bust on his girl at least once to 3 times per day.

When you get in from work tonight, walk in the door and say this 'Hey chunky bum, is my tea ready'.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

how does this play into the dominance theme?
by allowing her to initiate sex every time isn't she being the dominant one?

First of all, you're too young to be posting on this forum which is why your post is deleted. However, this was a good question, so I'll elaborate.

The basis of your question lies in the Desire Dynamic. Have a read of that thread, but to paraphrase the idea of being dominant can take many forms, but it's genuine, unsolicited desire that proves intent. Going caveman on a woman does have it's merits, but it doesn't make a woman WANT to have sex with you. You can force a woman to have sex with you; usually this is called rape, but there are other manipulations that are effective. Begging, bribing, buying, pity, emotional extortion, obligation, etc. and there are many more, but none of them provoke a genuine desire for a woman to ƒuck you. If you have to coerce a woman into ƒucking you, does she really want to?

ROMJUAN could, through some very heavy handed techniques, force his GF to have sex with him, but she wont want to. They'll have ƒucked, but the dynamic isn't organic; it's obligation sex and it will only ultimately fuel resentment. He'd have a better, less damaging, sexual experience by beating off to porn. Which is what most guys in his situation do - masturbation is just an expedient pragmatism most guys in the same position acknowledge on some level eventually.


Now here's another prediction: when I look into my crystal ball of predictability, the next step in the no sex bait & switch is that he'll probably withdraw and prompt a reaction from her. Faced with losing her comfortable living arrangement (more important than actually losing him), she'll return to the bait again, only this time she needs to consolidate that provisioning. So she'll ƒuck him again after their blowout fight. Not because she's really into it, but at some point SOME reinforcement is necessary to keep the fish on the hook. Pop culture likes to call this "make up sex" but it's really the second wave of bait & switch. He thinks things have changed, and because she's suddenly more physical after having deprived him of of sex for so long he's overjoyed to accept it as a quantum shift in her personality.

It's not. This is the necessary reward in order for her to consolidate provisioning with an "accidental pregnancy". Think about how many guys you know who "did the right thing" and married their LTR live-in after an "oops moment" during "make up sex". This is a VERY common occurrence, because it works. The break up stage of a live in LTR is the most dangerous for a guy - particularly when he's been starved for sex for long periods.

 

[Romjuan]

so things lookd like they were defintly workin. the whole last week i came home around 11pm every nite. i could tell it was working bcuz her demeanor was different. she would become more affectionate when she saw me. then saturday roled around and she asked me to stay in with her and hang out with me. ishould have went out but instead we hung out and clicked. the next day we went out in a group and she talked to my friend aand i guess her issues were cleared up after their talk. now in this present week i have been doing the same thing but she seems to be back to her old ways. little *****y and to herself. i have a feeling its becuse i stayed in with her and she sees this new frame as an act. any comments?

 

[AMDG]

she seems to be back to her old ways. ... any comments?

You have no self-control or free will, just a craving for sex that has taken over your brain. In that state you are unaware of the alternatives - it's like eating canned food all life when there is fresh meat in the shop outside. Do you want to remain that way ?

 

[jonwon]

so things lookd like they were defintly workin. the whole last week i came home around 11pm every nite. i could tell it was working bcuz her demeanor was different. she would become more affectionate when she saw me. then saturday roled around and she asked me to stay in with her and hang out with me. ishould have went out but instead we hung out and clicked. the next day we went out in a group and she talked to my friend aand i guess her issues were cleared up after their talk. now in this present week i have been doing the same thing but she seems to be back to her old ways. little *****y and to herself. i have a feeling its becuse i stayed in with her and she sees this new frame as an act. any comments?

It seems your girl has some issues.

What you sticking around for? Exactly?

At the least i'd start to pull away from her little by little, I get the impression your not really that happy with this girl, hence time to start the damage limitation.

Keep doing your own thing.

But the most important thing is to not suck up to her at all.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

This woman is running the show....

So what happened?

Just to reflect:

The less aware you are of the games, the more power they have over you. Ignore how frames get set, how you can step into one without knowing it, how to detect and question frames, and you will only doom yourself - Doom yourself to the ignorance of not being able to understand people and where others are coming from. The awareness that allows us to detect a frame game in process puts into our hands the power to take back the power and determine if we want to play these games, or refuse them outright.

We cannot be frameless or gameless, someone always sets the frame. And, WHOEVER SETS THE FRAME WILL EXERCISE THE MOST INFLUENCE. If you do not know the frame games at work in your life or how to play them, then you can count on the following result>>>YOU WILL BE PLAYED! You will become a puppet to the games. What games are you playing? The "I need you baby"?

 

[Kailex]

Blue, here's another one of his threads.
He, apparently, hasn't learned his lesson yet and still dwells on the girl even though they broke up. Sad, really.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172219

 

[Romjuan]

sometimes we know the obvious answers of what to do... we just need to hear the obviious advice over and over. i know how i sound when im typing on this forum and in all honesty i probably over dramatize my feelings but the fact of the matter is i do feel better when i read all of your responses. the tuff love really helps me out.