Attention wh*res: Pardon me, but I need to let loose for a sec.

[edger]

Just wanna relate an experience of mine last night at a club, which obviously isn't a first....

I'm chillin' against the stage, taking in the music as everyone is dancing in front of me. In front of me is a bangin' porn-material chick dancing(somewhere around the age of 24/25 or so). I catch her eyeing me..not once, not twice, but a bunch of times. I eye her back, holding my gaze, making sure she looks away first, which she does every time. I act cool and confident all along(my game's on cue). So at this point, like anyone here, I think to myself, "Seems I've caught her interest(or at least my looks have)"...

Sooo, I decide, the next time she looks over, I'll wave her over. So, she looks over, and I wave her over. Of course I do this confidently. She clearly see's that I've waved her over to me..but instead of coming over, she looks away and doesn't acknowledge my gesture. So, I say to myself, "f*ck her, I'm done with this one", and don't make eye contact with her again. I eventually walk away after 5 minutes or so, and go chill somewhere else, never showing I was bothered by her rejection, and that's that..nothing ever comes of it.

This isn't the second time this is happening to me. Something similar happened to me several months ago, in which a hottie kept giving me the eye while she was dancing. After convincing me she was interested, I opened her with a, "What's up", as she was dancing near me, only to be ignored. I figured, "Eh, let me give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn't hear me because the music was too loud." So I move to a different spot in the club, and she FOLLOWS and continues giving me the "eye". So, she proceeds to grab me to dance, but I recline because I wasn't into the music(I don't care how hot the chick is, if I'm not feeling the music, I ain't dancing..I'll only look like a fool if I try to, because I'm not feeling it, and when I'm not feeling a particular song, I obviously don't groove well to it) So I recline and tell her I don't dance to music I'm not into. So I try to establish rapport with her, but she walks away and continues dancing. She vibes me a few more times after that, but I don't pay her any attention, because at this point I'm thinking, "What the f*ck, this chick walks away from me, yet is still vibing me". So, right away, my "ATTENTION WH*RE" radar goes off, and I cut the eye contact and ignore her the rest of the night, and that's that..nothing ever comes of it.

My point with this post is, it is such an inconvenience to have to deal with an attention wh*re. These women know they are full of sh*t, yet will purposefully still go out of their way to deceive you and pretend to be interested, and waste your time. It's like, "Get a f*ckin' grip/life b*tch", really. It's f*ckin' retarded. So silly, it's beyond stupidity. Yeah, I know women value themselves through attention, but man, to have to go to this extent(for validation that they're desired)??

 

[Mr. Me]

I'm not so certain that your take on these gals is accurate.

Granted that, in the club scene, women look for attention, but from your description of the events I see reason to suggest other factors going on. Maybe it's worth a consideration?

>> I catch her eyeing me..not once, not twice, but a bunch of times...
Sooo, I decide, the next time she looks over, I'll wave her over.
So, she looks over, and I wave her over.
but instead of coming over, she looks away and doesn't acknowledge my gesture. >>

Is it possible... that after the first time or even the second time, when you didn't make an approach, she already got a feel that you weren't the confident, man-who-knows-what-he-wants-and-goes-for-it type of guy she gets attracted to? And that finally, when you did do something, it was to have her approach YOU rather than you going up to her? I mean, is that a possibility?

>> a hottie kept giving me the eye while she was dancing.
I opened her with a, "What's up", as she was dancing near me, only to be ignored.
So I move to a different spot in the club, and she FOLLOWS and continues giving me the "eye". So, she proceeds to grab me to dance, but I recline because I wasn't into the music (I don't care how hot the chick is, if I'm not feeling the music, I ain't dancing..>>

and in that case, could it be possible that your refusal to dance signaled to her that you're some no-fun, stick-in-the-mud? Possible ya think maybe in the least?

 

[jophil28]

Sooo, I decide, the next time she looks over, I'll wave her over. So, she looks over, and I wave her over. Of course I do this confidently. She clearly see's that I've waved her over to me..but instead of coming over, she looks away and doesn't acknowledge my gesture.

You "waved her over " ... that is NOT confident behavior . IT comes off as arrogant and egotistical .
She is a woman - it is her job to put herself in a man's cone of vision and entice him with her looks and her "way" - in this case dancing. IT is YOUR job to APPROACH her with calm confidence. Women expect MEN to take the risk inherent in approaching. You flipped it all on it's head by expecting her to come on over to you just because you waved your hand at her.
SHe did her job, you screwed up your job.

Waving her over is ineffective. It does NOT say the right things about you. IT is unlikely to attract any woman who knows her market value. The hotter that she is, the less likely that "waving her over " is going to work for you.

Perhaps you believe that this action by you demonstated indifference and cool confidence ? Well if that were true she would have complied with your gesture and you would have a date next weekend .

 

[Mr. Me]

Thinking some more about this... Edger, you've got hot women at NYC clubs looking you over and giving you the come-hither eye; hot women pulling you onto the dance floor?

Well, if you're not gonna use it to your advantage, how about I borrow your face and body sometime. I promise I'll return it. Eventually. After I have all the hot women.

 

[edger]

Is it possible... that after the first time or even the second time, when you didn't make an approach, she already got a feel that you weren't the confident, man-who-knows-what-he-wants-and-goes-for-it type of guy she gets attracted to? And that finally, when you did do something, it was to have her approach YOU rather than you going up to her? I mean, is that a possibility?

If me not approaching her after the second time she vibed me turned her off, she wouldn't have continued vibing me a third, fouth, and fifth time. Doesn't that make sense?

and in that case, could it be possible that your refusal to dance signaled to her that you're some no-fun, stick-in-the-mud? Possible ya think maybe in the least?

Yeah, but can't a guy(or girl for that matter)not be into a song, and not wanna dance to it as a result? Am I not entiltled to that? There are plenty of people who don't dance to songs they don't like. Can't I have that perrogative? If a chick is going to be that uptight about me not wanting to dance to a particular song and hold that against me, then that's silly. And second, if she was turned off by that, she too wouldn't have continued vibing me.

I think it comes down to "attention wh*ring".

 

[STR8UP]

I think it comes down to "attention wh*ring".

You think women get all dressed up to go to clubs because they REEEEAAAAAALLLLY like to dance? Of course not. They go to see and be seen, by men and women alike. They are ALL attention wh0ring when they go out.

You weren't a victim of attention wh0res, you were a victim of being one of the dozens of guys that hit on her that night. Although I have pulled women in clubs, that's not the best place to meet chicks. Most of them have a b!tch shield up and the "default" answer is NO. The exception to this is happy hour/early evening when the guard is down. But on the dance floor at 1am every drunk ass tom, d!ck, and harry has already slobbered all over all of the halfway decent looking chicks in the place, and unless she's REAAAAAALLLLY attracted to you, she isn't going to come over if you motion for her to.

I'm not saying this isn't effective, but unless she's really digging you before you even opened your mouth, chances are it isn't gonna fly.

I know what an attention wh0re is. I'm good friends with one. She doesn't realize it but having her around helps me get other chicks. She has "needs". But as long as she is satiated by me throwing her a bone (attention) in limited quantities, she's happy and I'm happy. It just works.

Bottom line- you can't determine whether or not a woman is an attention wh0re unless you spend some time with her.

 

[Mr. Me]

If me not approaching her after the second time she vibed me turned her off, she wouldn't have continued vibing me a third, fouth, and fifth time. Doesn't that make sense?

It makes sense that she may have continued, albeit even if she was teetering on losing interest but giving it some more chances, but when you waved expecting her to make the approach, well, that was it. She's gonna find a guy that steps right up when she gives him the eye. Simple as that.

If a chick is going to be that uptight about me not wanting to dance to a particular song and hold that against me, then that's silly.

Whatever intellectual arguments you wish to make for it, and you're absolutely correct in your argument, it still comes down to that you come off as a joy killer to her. Girls just wanna have fun. She's not there to discuss the legitimacy of your reasons. She was there to dance and party. So you either come out and play or you don't. But it's not because she's an AW. What does your signature say at the end? Something about every woman needs to be gamed?

Turn it around. Say I'm at a club and there's a girl sitting a few feet away and I grab her attention and say "hey! You've been sitting too long! C'mon and dance!" and she's reluctant. Maybe she's thinking, "doesn't this guy understand that maybe I just wanna be left alone?" or "No thanks! I'm quite content just sitting here and having my drink thank you very much" but then I'm gonna move on, right?

Coincidentally, I did do that and after a split second where she looked hesitant, she got right up and danced with me. So she must've thought, "why the hell not?"

Maybe that's what you oughtta consider instead of "I'm not really into the current musical selection the DJ is spinning. I don't find it sufficiently motivational at the moment enough to compel me to dance, thank you very much".

 

[decades]

once you "Waved", the attention hor's job was done, she had gotten the Currency she "works" hard for. It was time for her to move on to more difficult challenges, like getting the guy across the room to wave at her. Look do you really think you were the "only" guy who noticed this 24 year old porn star dancing out there? Do you really think of all the guys in the room, that YOU were somehow special and a cut above everybody else, simply because you were standing there looking at her? The reason she "vibed" you is she felt an intense Lust and desire vibe coming off of you, the guy with his hands in his pockets who couldn't take his eyes off her. That's who they hone in on, the ones that so obviously come under their spell.

I used to sit there in awe of these amateur porn stars and provided undivided attention to these women just like you did. But then I realized that there are few things in a Man's life that are a bigger waste of time. You can spot these AWs from a mile away. You seem to be "drawn" to them only to be rejected once you give them the attention they crave. I would look at THAT rather than the next AW who happens to sashay across the room.

 

[backbreaker]

a 28YO man is actually surprised that there are attention *****s at night clubs.

Are you suprised that there are drunks at the local bar?

 

[squirrels]

Many girls go to nightclubs to dance. If you're not interested in dancing, stay away from the dance-floor. You're not going to wave them off for a conversation in a place where the music is so loud you can barely even talk. That second chick, all you had to do is groove with her a little and she probably would've been "up-ons".

I dunno what you think being "on your game" is, but standing next to the stage watching other people dance is not a lady-getting move.

A bar or lounge may be a better atmosphere for you if you don't want to dance or don't like the music.

 

[edger]

It makes sense that she may have continued, albeit even if she was teetering on losing interest but giving it some more chances, but when you waved expecting her to make the approach, well, that was it. She's gonna find a guy that steps right up when she gives him the eye. Simple as that.

I actually tried to wave her over after the first 3 or 4 times of her vibing me, but she turned away too fast to even notice that I was waving her over. Before I ever go in for the kill, I like to be 100% certain the chick is "vibing" me(sometimes there are exceptions and i'll cold-approach a chick without any prior vibes). That's why it took 3 or 4 times of her vibing me before I waved her over.

The reason I hadn't made a move after she vibed me the first time, was because she was dancing. It would've been awkward to walk up to her while she was in the middle of dancing. Had I gone up to her, I would've had to have had started to dance with her, and like I said, I wasn't feeling the music at the moment. You can't just walk up to a chick whileshe's in the middle of dancing and say, "What's up"...if you're gonna do that, then you'll at least have to start trying dance with her.

 

[Colossus]

Alright I cant resist.

Edger--

Stop blaming your poor game on Attention wh0ring. You are misdirecting the accountability. This is what women do.

Every woman on this planet is an AW to some degree. Your gf, your plates, your Oneitis, your sister, even your dear sweet mother. It is actually a bit of a misnomer to call them attention wh0res. A better term would be attention-seekers. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, it is just how women are wired. You can bemoan this all day long but you will sooner change the color of the sky than you will womens' innate need for male attention.

I catch her eyeing me..not once, not twice, but a bunch of times. I eye her back, holding my gaze, making sure she looks away first, which she does every time.

That's called staring. It's not an eyeballing contest. After you get a couple good looks you should approach her or move on. Secondly, never wave her over. This is cheesed!ck behavior. Just walk up and say hi or wait for her to move somewhere a little better.

These women know they are full of sh*t, yet will purposefully still go out of their way to deceive you and pretend to be interested, and waste your time.

I dont think anyone went out of their way to make your life difficult in the stories you described. You just didnt ring their bell. Learn from it next time. I'm not given to dancing either, so I dont put myself in places where I will have to address this. If they ask, i'll just play the shy guy thing and tell them I dont really dance. If I catch them later, cool. If not, whatev. I'd rather talk to them under a better frame than do something i'm not very good at and would only be doing to appease them.

You are always making reassurances that your game is on cue in your posts. In reality if it was, you wouldn't be posting these threads. This is actually good because now you can see where you went wrong and not repeat it.

Today's lessons:

-After positive eye contact, APPROACH or don't. Don't keep staring.

-Never wave a girl over in a club.

-Don't blame your lack of success on normal female behavior. Change your skill to meet the game.

 

[Killer Six Pac]

this is sad, and edger is a douche

 

[BeyondCharm]

this is sad, and edger is a douche

Attitudes like yours are not helpful to anyone. He is asking for help, and while his story may not be the same as yours, not everyone is in the same stage of development here. Your comment is totally inappropriate for the public forum, if you have an issue with him personally, take it up with him personally.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Attitudes like yours are not helpful to anyone. He is asking for help, and while his story may not be the same as yours, not everyone is in the same stage of development here. Your comment is totally inappropriate for the public forum, if you have an issue with him personally, take it up with him personally.

EXACTLY!!!!!

What Edger received was some advice here from several view points that all make great sense. I tend to agree with the wave was weak! I am no great DJ either.
But to call my man a douche was definitely wrong! Killer keg, what advice to you have other than spewing silly names?

 

[STR8UP]

It is actually a bit of a misnomer to call them attention wh0res. A better term would be attention-seekers.

There is a difference between the two, but edger did not make that distinction.

ALL women are attention seekers, SOME women are attention wh0res.

 

[edger]

Alright I cant resist.

Edger--

Stop blaming your poor game on Attention wh0ring. You are misdirecting the accountability. This is what women do.

Every woman on this planet is an AW to some degree. Your gf, your plates, your Oneitis, your sister, even your dear sweet mother. It is actually a bit of a misnomer to call them attention wh0res. A better term would be attention-seekers. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, it is just how women are wired. You can bemoan this all day long but you will sooner change the color of the sky than you will womens' innate need for male attention.



That's called staring. It's not an eyeballing contest. After you get a couple good looks you should approach her or move on. Secondly, never wave her over. This is cheesed!ck behavior. Just walk up and say hi or wait for her to move somewhere a little better.



I dont think anyone went out of their way to make your life difficult in the stories you described. You just didnt ring their bell. Learn from it next time. I'm not given to dancing either, so I dont put myself in places where I will have to address this. If they ask, i'll just play the shy guy thing and tell them I dont really dance. If I catch them later, cool. If not, whatev. I'd rather talk to them under a better frame than do something i'm not very good at and would only be doing to appease them.

You are always making reassurances that your game is on cue in your posts. In reality if it was, you wouldn't be posting these threads. This is actually good because now you can see where you went wrong and not repeat it.

Today's lessons:

-After positive eye contact, APPROACH or don't. Don't keep staring.

-Never wave a girl over in a club.

-Don't blame your lack of success on normal female behavior. Change your skill to meet the game.

Haha..."poor game", as if my game was sooo terrible. While my game is never 100% on cue, I wouldn't go as far as to say it was "poor" in this case. I think that's an extreme exaggeration on your part. I posted why I hadn't approached her. Read it again:

The reason I hadn't made a move after she vibed me, was because she was dancing. It would've been awkward to walk up to her while she was in the middle of dancing. Had I gone up to her, I would've had to have had started to dance with her, and like I said, I wasn't feeling the music at the moment. You can't just walk up to a chick whileshe's in the middle of dancing and say, "What's up"...if you're gonna do that, then you'll at least have to start trying dance with her.


__________________

 

[edger]

The reason she "vibed" you is she felt an intense Lust and desire vibe coming off of you, the guy with his hands in his pockets who couldn't take his eyes off her. That's who they hone in on, the ones that so obviously come under their spell.

? What are you talking about? There was no "intense lust" and desire vibe coming from me. I always play it up cool when I'm eyeing a chick, never to come off as desperate or in awe..I think that's DJ 101. Second, she didn't vibe me because I was checking her out, it actually went the opposite, where I caught HER checking me out.

I used to sit there in awe of these amateur porn stars and provided undivided attention to these women just like you did. But then I realized that there are few things in a Man's life that are a bigger waste of time. You can spot these AWs from a mile away. You seem to be "drawn" to them only to be rejected once you give them the attention they crave. I would look at THAT rather than the next AW who happens to sashay across the room.

Dude, what makes you think I was standing there in awe and providing undivided attention to her? Lol. Were you there? No, exactly, so what are you talking about?

Like i said, i play it up cool, never showing them how much I wanna tap them.

 

[edger]

Colussus, Jophil, "waving" chix over can be effective. I've even read this somewhere in the community, not sure if it was in the "featured articles" section of this site or from David DeAngelo.

 

[Colossus]

Haha..."poor game", as if my game was sooo terrible. While my game is never 100% on cue, I wouldn't go as far as to say it was "poor" in this case. I think that's an extreme exaggeration on your part. I posted why I hadn't approached her. Read it again:

The reason I hadn't made a move after she vibed me, was because she was dancing. It would've been awkward to walk up to her while she was in the middle of dancing. Had I gone up to her, I would've had to have had started to dance with her, and like I said, I wasn't feeling the music at the moment. You can't just walk up to a chick whileshe's in the middle of dancing and say, "What's up"...if you're gonna do that, then you'll at least have to start trying dance with her.


__________________

My mistake. I missed that part.

In that case I wouldnt say your game was poor, but I dont think these women were 'attention wh0ring'.