"Is that just my impression, or do you think there's any truth to such a link between looks and BPD?"
The Cluster B Personality Disordered people in general seem to be extremely out of the ordinary in range of attractiveness and we must keep in mind that this is a male oriented forum and as such we tend to only focus on the female Cluster B PD sufferers. The truth is that looks seem to correlate to male and female sufferers alike.
How it goes is this. Females tend to be more often BPD or HPD sufferers and males tend to be either Narcissistic Personality Disordered people or Anti Social Personality Disordered people who were previously known as being a psychopath or sociopath. Anyway its mostly been discovered that more often than not it is the HPD's that tend to look the most stunning out of all four types on average but yeah for these disorders good looks seems to usually be part of the package across the board. Not always but I would say on average for the Cluster B Personality Disordered.
Robert Hare the world expert on sociopaths has called them an interspecies predator and I myself have often thought of these people as being kind of like a venus fly trap or someother pretty plant that attracts an unwitting victim into its clutches so that it may devour them for nourishment.
Perhaps if looks really do correlate to these personality disorders its the result of some kind of evolutionary survival mechanism to attract people to them but in their case its not food sustenance they seek out like a predatory plant but emotional sustenance ie the vampiring of emotions they lack within themselves which they can get momentarily from their victims. The momentary satisfaction and inability to hold onto the stolen emotions creates their desire to go and "feed" again and again.
"Is it possible that BPD is partly triggered by the way people treat a good looking person?"
If you mean could any good looking person out there be turned into a BPD by how they are treated for being so good looking my answer would be a definite no.
These personality disorders are cultivated and created by childhood/infant emotional trauma from the interaction or lack there of with a parent usually the mother or even slight and subtle brain injury in the womb.
In short a normal person cannot be turned into one of these people.
Having been deeply involved with one of these people however you can certainly get psychologically damaged, get PTSD and also pick up many of the BPD's negative traits but with hard work and a good therapist you can reduce all of the pain and mental destruction you've gone through to only a regular emotional wound like say the death of a pet over time. Even with therapy and helping oneself in all the healthy ways possible however it usually takes a solid year or two of that to process all of the pain and injustice of the relationship and recover.
"Is it possible that many potential BPD sufferers avoid they syndrome, as they quickly realize that no one is going to take any crazy crap from some ugly chick?"
Well they all hide their true colors at first in a jekyll and hyde manner whether they are ugly or pretty is irrelevant as they all put on the sweet societal acceptable face to you at first.
It is only after you are hooked that the dark true side of their personality emerges to suck the emotional life force right out of you. Its done in a very subtle and gradual way like a frog slowly being boiled alive that doesn't know it is in danger because of how gradual the process of heating and boiling was.
Anyway to conclude and directly answer your question a BPD cannot avoid their condition as like you and I with our personalitys BPD is a personality that is theirs so its unfortunately not something they can be cured of just like we cannot be cured of our natural personalitys. The most they can hope for is to manage the disorder and recover from its horribly negative traits the best they can and the disorder is so resistant to change I think being in the axis II category for this reason not all of them can hope to improve much. Its sadly a luck based recovery even for those who genuinely come to want to be helped. Which means some get better and some just can't. Its sad.
Anyway I just want to give out another public service announcement for any AFC's out there that might be reading this post and want to give it a try and get with one of these women and think they'll be the one to "save her" where jophil, myself, persistant exaction and everyone else failed...
And that announcement is you will end up with so much emotional trauma, pain, and missplaced guilt over it you may seriously consider taking your life (many have) at the end of the experience because she will screw you over so badly.
A movie thats ending sums up the emotional pain I think myself and others whose stories I've read have gone through is the ending of the movie Godfather III where Michael Corleone's daughter has just been shot and killed.
Watch how he reacts and cries out. Thats how you will feel inside exactly and there will be no one in public life who understands what you are going through.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgYnp8bsX-Q
Only us and support forums. Thats all you can hope for from society. A therapists chair and online forums. No one in real life will understand your pain and be able to empathize with you in the proper context because they will view your pain like the pain at the end of a normal relationship but it will be far worse of a pain so without further ado here is the ending to Godfather III if you haven't watched the movie before or need a refresher course. It might seem silly but I am deadly serious. Consider the pain that is conveyed at the ending. That is the pain that will be in your future should you not heed our warning and progress with a Cluster B Personality Disordered human being.
