Day 5 - Energy transfer
As I embarked on my mission to improve myself a few years ago, I started noticing that I was almost completely submissive in my interactions with new people who I met. I would go out of my way to please, have that "sing-songy" kind of pleasing voice, and I projected a general weak frame.
This was expecially true with women. I started noticing that when I made eye contact with a woman, I would most of the time look down and get this coy, femminine, self-conscious quality about me. I was reacting to her and feeding off her energy, which is exactly what women do with men.
Hey, give me a break... I grew up with a very domineering mother, three sisters and no brothers, and an absentee father. It's little wonder that I picked up on feminine traits. It's not that I had overtly feminine mannerisms. It's that I would get coy and reactive around women.
Disgusting.
To this day, if I'm feeling tired, weak, discouraged, generally not my best self, I can still fall into that behavior. The difference is that now I recognize it immediately and hit my internal reset switch.
This is no way for a King to act. Women are extremely turned off by this display. It is simply a learned habit that can be unlearned.
From now on, when out and about meeting people (you ARE engaging people in general throughout the day, right?), check yourself and look at the direction of the energy transfer. Your energy should be transferring to others, and not vice-versa. I find that a good rule of thumb is to approach people with an energy level slightly hotter than theirs.
Reset yourself before interacting. Remind yourself that this is YOUR world, and YOU set the frame in every interaction. When you meet and make small talk with women, be CONSCIOUSLY UNREACTIVE.
Never, ever, get sucked into her frame once a conversation starts rolling. You don't have to (and shouldn't) answer every question she asks. Ignore some of them. When she says something annoying to you, consciously stay detached. YOU ARE IN COMMAND. Repeat that to yourself..."I am in command".
This is a fairly abstract topic, and some of you will get it while others will not (because of experience level). Your assignment is to OBSERVE your interactions. Observe which direction the energy is flowing. Observe who has the stronger frame, or who is setting the tone of the interaction. Women are attracted to detachment. They are extremely turned off by men who react to her, who display that she has had an emotional effect on you. Of course I'm principally talking about intitial meetings. That's the time to set the frame and establish dominance.
If you observe as I suggest, you will start to get what I'm saying. Then you will be empowered to slowly shift the balance in your favor.
YOU be the energy source. YOU are the SUN, she is the planet. Design your interactions so that she becomes emotionally dependent on you for excitement and happiness. Bring value into her life that she can recognize, but above all do not be reactive. Stay detached. I always put it this way: Atom, it's ok to RESPOND, but don't REACT. See the difference?
Work with observing the dynamic of your interactions and it will become obvious.
Gotta run and see my girl and practice what I'm preaching. I'm sure she has a sh!t test or two up her sleeve for me today!