At what point in time did a girl you’ve been dating ask you about past relationships/dating history?

[superstorm250]

So I’m turning 25 this August and I’ve never had a girlfriend, I have had sex before though back when I hooked up with a girl that I met at my summer job 3 years ago, I haven’t had sex since then and that was the only time I’ve had sex. So I don’t feel as bad about turning 25 since I won’t be going into it as a virgin, but I still don’t feel too good about it since I still have no relationship experience. This is the one thing that keeps me from trying to start dating. I feel like no matter what I do, girls are gonna be turned off and reject me for having no relationship experience and very little sexual experience and this is just gonna happen over and over again with every girl and I’ll never not get rejected because of this.

So I was wondering when any of you guys have been dating a girl, at what point did she bring up the subject of past relationships/dating history and if you used to be in a situation like mine, how did you handle this subject coming up? One dating coach that I might sign up with said that if it comes up, tell her that if you get serious with her, you’ll tell her everything about your past but right now you want to get to know each other better and see where things go.

 

[Murk]

Ok so I was in a semi-similar situation, I think I had my first GF around 25 also. The difference is, I'd been having sex and it was only to longevity/commitment thing I wasn't experienced in.

What did I do? I lied, I made up some fake GF which we never really talked about just to make myself feel more comfortable. It wasn't a huge lie, we never talked in depth about past relationships, I don't think any normal people do, it's in the past. You might talk about previous bad experiences, but no chick is going to pressure you to find out your backstory and if they do just say you don't wanna talk about it.

This is seriously no reason to put off dating. Just tell the truth with a gloss over it "never really been in a serious relationship, just been having fun and doing my thing". It's not a big deal.

 

[lizardking82]

It doesn't matter at what point she asks, it matters how you answer that question and how you answer that question should be in a calm way, like you would any other question. Do not try to explain anything, you don't owe her or anyone an explanation.

If you got dumped, be honest about it and own it, no big deal in getting dumped. And remember: you cannot fake being cool about it if you're not internally. She will smell it if you're still thinking or wanting the other girl.

 

[Serenity]

I had my first girlfriend and first sex at 16. Didn't really count as much experience, 2 month relationship. Didn't have sex for 5 years after that. The girl I then fvcked was clearly more experienced, I was nervous knowing I lacked experience.

She asked, I casually said it had been a long time. We fvcked that night, no problem. Fvcking isn't that difficult...

I mean, if they reject you for that they're probably not worth having a relationship with in the first place. There's always someone who doesn't care, you can fvck a few of those before going for a relationship.

 

[AttackFormation]

So I’m turning 25 this August and I’ve never had a girlfriend, I have had sex before though back when I hooked up with a girl that I met at my summer job 3 years ago, I haven’t had sex since then and that was the only time I’ve had sex. So I don’t feel as bad about turning 25 since I won’t be going into it as a virgin, but I still don’t feel too good about it since I still have no relationship experience. This is the one thing that keeps me from trying to start dating. I feel like no matter what I do, girls are gonna be turned off and reject me for having no relationship experience and very little sexual experience and this is just gonna happen over and over again with every girl and I’ll never not get rejected because of this.

So I was wondering when any of you guys have been dating a girl, at what point did she bring up the subject of past relationships/dating history and if you used to be in a situation like mine, how did you handle this subject coming up? One dating coach that I might sign up with said that if it comes up, tell her that if you get serious with her, you’ll tell her everything about your past but right now you want to get to know each other better and see where things go.

1. When a girl asks about your sexual history, don't answer directly regardless of how experienced you are. Say something like "Oh... I don't know if I should tell you" with a small smirk, think Roger Moore's Bond. She will probably smile after that and make some comments, but the conversation will move on. If she persists with a followup question, keep giving ambiguous answers that could mean anything but with a smirk suggestive that you are experienced (since as you correctly suspect, they like experienced men and are turned off by inexperience, so you want them to imagine - and so do they - that you are experienced).
   
   
2. The response that "dating coach" gave is lame as hell. Job interview response. Go ahead and tell a young, horny girl that - the modest ones will merely look at you like you're from Pluto and go silent, the more outspoken ones will ask what's wrong with you either then or what was wrong with you the next time you meet and have dropped that kind of talk.

 

[wifehunter]

Questions are $5 each, so ask the right ones!

 

[MrAddiction]

When a girl asks about your sexual history, don't answer directly regardless of how experienced you are. Say something like "Oh... I don't know if I should tell you" with a small smirk, think Roger Moore's Bond. She will probably smile after that and make some comments, but the conversation will move on. If she persists with a followup question, keep giving ambiguous answers that could mean anything but with a smirk suggestive that you are experienced (since as you correctly suspect, they like experienced men and are turned off by inexperience, so you want them to imagine - and so do they - that you are experienced).

That is good advice. I would add learn to lie without lying. Trick here is obviously exaggerating, that it is clear, you Do, but stick to it
How many girlfriends did you have?
651
Come on
Ok. If forgot a few... 675...
Come on
Ok. To be true, I stopped counting at 600
Always wth that said smile
And then just start making out with her.

Sexual unexperience: tell her you took sometime of from women, so you might be out of training.
Or just state With a big smile you never had sex, and she has to teach you. in the same ironic way you stated you have had 600 girlfriends. Done right, you could make her think you are experienced even if you were a virgin. It is all about confident delievery. If the sex is not good and she complains, you can stick to that, and say with a smile: I told you I was inexperienced and you should teach me. What a bad teacher you are. She will think, you made bad sex on purpose.
There are posts here on so suave how to fcuk a girl right. Might help.



After all: never talk to women about any past relationship.
Why do I never get to know about or meet any of your x girlfreids?
I do not keep contact to exes - for good reason.


After all no contact to exes is always the way to go.

 

[MrAddiction]

Must add.you must feel comfortable with yourself then you can make her belief anything.
The mind believes what the eyes see and the ears hear. (John Travolta in Password swordfish;-))
Self confidence is key!

 

[Reykhel]

So I don’t feel as bad about turning 25 since I won’t be going into it as a virgin, but I still don’t feel too good about it since I still have no relationship experience.

You're worrying too much over nothing. It's like saying that you've just come out of university and maybe travelled a bit......now you are worried that you will 1) get rejected from all jobs as they are looking for experience 2) won't be able to really do any work because of lack of experience working.....

Why not just go get experience and enjoy the journey. You'll learn on the job.

Say what you want to say. Like somebody else said, be comfortable about where you're at now. That's where you're at and that's it.....(perhaps you are in fact judging yourself for your lack of experience and you're projecting this onto future women?)

You're not obliged to divulge your past, and besides, they don't really want to know. Even though some may ask you, they'll enjoy the mystery more.......

You can always give the line "a gentleman never kisses and tells", said with a devilish bad boy smile....

 

[MrAddiction]

mystery

Mystery is key! Always. Spot on!

 

[AttackFormation]

That is good advice. I would add learn to lie without lying. Trick here is obviously exaggerating, that it is clear, you Do, but stick to it
How many girlfriends did you have?
651
Come on
Ok. If forgot a few... 675...
Come on
Ok. To be true, I stopped counting at 600
Always wth that said smile
And then just start making out with her.

Sexual unexperience: tell her you took sometime of from women, so you might be out of training.
Or just state With a big smile you never had sex, and she has to teach you. in the same ironic way you stated you have had 600 girlfriends. Done right, you could make her think you are experienced even if you were a virgin. It is all about confident delievery. If the sex is not good and she complains, you can stick to that, and say with a smile: I told you I was inexperienced and you should teach me. What a bad teacher you are. She will think, you made bad sex on purpose.
There are posts here on so suave how to fcuk a girl right. Might help.



After all: never talk to women about any past relationship.
Why do I never get to know about or meet any of your x girlfreids?
I do not keep contact to exes - for good reason.


After all no contact to exes is always the way to go.

Oh yeah, I forgot the exaggeration. Good that you remembered to bring that up.

It's another part of the larger point that subtlety, suggestion and ambiguity with women makes for both more fun and in the end wetter panties than oblivious, naive bluntness. When in consideration, just think how would Roger Moore's Bond have behaved.

 

[Fireballs]

When was your last relationship?
"It's complicated"

Why did your last relationship end?
"It's complicated"

How many girls have you slept with?
"It's complicated"

Are you seeing anyone at the moment?
"It's complicated"

 

[ohrein]

I feel like no matter what I do, girls are gonna be turned off and reject me for having no relationship experience and very little sexual experience and this is just gonna happen over and over again with every girl and I’ll never not get rejected because of this

Ultimate answer, you shouldn't care what a woman thinks about it. By worrying about what she thinks about it, you're being desperate and expressing a lack of abundance mentality. If you just own it confidently without apology, you'll be fine. This is a perfect example of self-defeat. You're making assumptions and picturing a worst case scenario and it's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy when your behavior is weak as a result. Just own it! Is it possible you'll meet a woman who rejects you for it? Sure. I would say it's very, very unlikely, though. And if she rejects you, who cares? Seems like a shallow thing to dump someone for so find someone who has some depth.

 

[superstorm250]

Just checked this thread since I first created it and thank you everyone for all the advice. I’ve also thought of it as not as bad to lie or exaggerate about how experienced you are to the first girl that you date because its pretty much a guarantee that it won’t last (which should be the case because I think your first relationship should fail) and might not even last very long, and then I’ll have experience after that one ends.

I also have something else I wanted to share and I didn’t want to have to create another thread to do it. So I’m working at my summer job again, the same one where I met that girl I hooked up with 3 years ago and this year a new girl started working there, yesterday we were having a quick staff meeting and during the meeting I looked in her direction and she immediately looked away when I did. Now I know that both guys and girls do that when they’re caught checking someone out. I’m not sure that’s what she was doing, but I was recently in Vegas and I had one girl that was smiling at me and said hi, and she wanted me to approach her, but I thought she was talking to someone else and kept walking like an oblivious idiot. I also had another girl looking at me in the casino and said hi to me as we got closer to each other. I have more to add but I don’t want this to get too long, so if I get responses about this part, I’ll add the rest.

 

[Mazer]

Usually on date #2 or 3 if you are gaming her correctly. Usually happens right before sex.

 

[superstorm250]

Usually on date #2 or 3 if you are gaming her correctly. Usually happens right before sex.

That seems like it would be a mood killer if she actually asked before we have sex, how experienced are you and how many girls have you been with?

 

[Mazer]

I dont see it as a mood killer at all, if anything it just shows that she has interest. Bishes who arent interested usually dont ask this question. She wants to know if you are a pump and dump kind of guy or you can actually hold a relationship, plus she wants to know if she has competition. Some women will ask before sex and you will have some women ask you after. I get the former. If she hasnt asked you about other women by date #5 and she isnt giving you sex, you already know where you stand.

 

[superstorm250]

I dont see it as a mood killer at all, if anything it just shows that she has interest. Bishes who arent interested usually dont ask this question. She wants to know if you are a pump and dump kind of guy or you can actually hold a relationship, plus she wants to know if she has competition. Some women will ask before sex and you will have some women ask you after. I get the former. If she hasnt asked you about other women by date #5 and she isnt giving you sex, you already know where you stand.

Maybe I misinterpreted what you were saying, I took it as her asking that when you two are in bed together and about to do it and then she asks, from your reply it seems like you meant that she would ask before you two go to bed, and it wouldn’t be a mood killer in that case. And from what everyone else said, that’s when you lie or exaggerate is once you reach the point with her that you mentioned. Part of me almost wants to try and be completely honest about it and see how it goes, might try that first and if it ruins things with like 3 girls then I’ll know to lie from that point on.

 

[MrAddiction]

Go and listen to the Great Anti-Dump

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...gh-your-past-relationships.18289/#post-149621