At what age is all hope lost?

[grinder]

You know, I’ve posted stuff on the younger women I’ve been with on here and basically I’m called just a flat out boasting liar.

I know it’s not cool to brag and usually it means you are insecure, but I’m guessing too it’s because many just don’t believe its real for someone my age to be banging a 20yo that is hot.

For confidentiality reasons I won’t post pics, but even then people would say they are fake.

Again, people just don’t want to believe.

I’m saying this because I am proof positive it’s never too late.

I’m also proof you don’t have to be a master DJ either. I don’t have my DJ sh*t totally together yet either, nor do I look young, or even all that great. I am in very good shape and take care of myself, but I’m just doing the best with what I have. I’m no model or anything.

The stuff on here is truly potent; I was really surprised when I started applying it.

Goddamit, it works!

But it takes some balls and willingness to take responsibility for whether you fail with women or not. <tip – its our fault if we fail with women, no matter how old we are>.

 

[white sox bill]

You know, I’ve posted stuff on the younger women I’ve been with on here and basically I’m called just a flat out boasting liar.

I know it’s not cool to brag and usually it means you are insecure, but I’m guessing too it’s because many just don’t believe its real for someone my age to be banging a 20yo that is hot.

For confidentiality reasons I won’t post pics, but even then people would say they are fake.

Again, people just don’t want to believe.

I’m saying this because I am proof positive it’s never too late.

I’m also proof you don’t have to be a master DJ either. I don’t have my DJ sh*t totally together yet either, nor do I look young, or even all that great. I am in very good shape and take care of myself, but I’m just doing the best with what I have. I’m no model or anything.

The stuff on here is truly potent; I was really surprised when I started applying it.

Goddamit, it works!

But it takes some balls and willingness to take responsibility for whether you fail with women or not. <tip – its our fault if we fail with women, no matter how old we are>.

Grinder got a question--I always did better yrs ago, but lately I'm in a slump. A big part of it is my self image is somewhat shot to hell, all mental. I'm told I'm good looking, look 10 yrs younger than I am, I compete in bodybuilding. Not to toot my horn, but I have a great personality above all. So I have all the tools....heres my mental hangup:

I have alept with several women some 15 yrs my junior the last few yrs. However, after I got rejected by 1 younger hottie, I have trouble getting past this incident. Do you ever feel that women say from 25 and up look at you like you are too old, too gray, too wrinkly (I'm neither the last 2 btw) etc.
I feel like I have to keep up with the fresh faced frat boys in thier early 20's which I can't do at least facially. Did you ever feel inferior physically? If so, how did you break thru that barrier? I know I can pull a TON of younger women if I can defeat this personal demon.

 

[white sox bill]

The idea is, man, that you fix yourself. You go inside yourself and figure out what your insecurities are and rid yourself of them. You start getting more involved in your community. Put yourself in as many different situations where you can meet new people as you can.

Don't give up. Strive to be more than what you are right now and you will be.[/QUOTE]

Great advice!

 

[white sox bill]

At which age is all hope lost?

The idea is, man, that you fix yourself. You go inside yourself and figure out what your insecurities are and rid yourself of them. You start getting more involved in your community. Put yourself in as many different situations where you can meet new people as you can.

Don't give up. Strive to be more than what you are right now and you will be.

Great advice Vypros

 

[Drum&Bass]

I feel like I have to keep up with the fresh faced frat boys in thier early 20's which I can't do at least facially. Did you ever feel inferior physically? If so, how did you break thru that barrier? I know I can pull a TON of younger women if I can defeat this personal demon.

I always figured once i started feeling out of place with a younger age group I would find venues with a more mature crowd. Mostly upscale lounges, and martini bars.

College Dives are cool if your in an area with a concentration of cool people savannah/san francisco/atlanta/Hilton Head South Carolina/orlando & jacksonville florida etc... but if your in a scumbag town like New jersey, younger venues are best avoided.

 

[d9930380]

white sox bill - It's just the same for ugly guys who are young. Or guys with ****ty jobs etc.

Unless you're Brad Pitt, you are going to get rejected. I suspect it was just easier for you in the past and now your beginning to feel what it's like for a nerd or a geek. Not impossible but you need a thick skin.

 

[grinder]

Grinder got a question--I always did better yrs ago, but lately I'm in a slump. A big part of it is my self image is somewhat shot to hell, all mental. I'm told I'm good looking, look 10 yrs younger than I am, I compete in bodybuilding. Not to toot my horn, but I have a great personality above all. So I have all the tools....heres my mental hangup:

I have alept with several women some 15 yrs my junior the last few yrs. However, after I got rejected by 1 younger hottie, I have trouble getting past this incident. Do you ever feel that women say from 25 and up look at you like you are too old, too gray, too wrinkly (I'm neither the last 2 btw) etc.
I feel like I have to keep up with the fresh faced frat boys in thier early 20's which I can't do at least facially. Did you ever feel inferior physically? If so, how did you break thru that barrier? I know I can pull a TON of younger women if I can defeat this personal demon.

I was going to write up some giant response trying to answer your question here and give all kinds of perspective from a “mature man” viewpoint. But after thinking about it I realized this perspective is irrelevant.

You talked about having trouble getting past a rejection by a young woman. Then I realized, it sucks to get rejected by ANY woman, actually, maybe worse when they are our age. I’ve gotten better at screening women because I do not have thick skin and it does bother me to get rejected.

I personally have gotten rejected for many other reasons than I was old. Most of the time my approach sucked or I was not in a good mood, I was boring, or I just went blank.

And on the thing of women looking at us as too old, gray, or have wrinkles; those are just some in a very long list of reasons given to reject. Think about it we can get rejected for a million reasons and “old” is just one of them. The list goes on and on if you let it. I fight to keep it out of my head because its too easy to fall into the “I’m too…..fat, ugly, poor, boring, short, tall, bald, hairy, dress badly, bad teeth, and, of course, old.

“Old” is just one more self-limiting excuse.

The principles here apply the same to an 18 yo as to us: being confident, interesting, funny, mysterious, and challenging can work on any woman. It won’t work on some women no matter what your age.

I have had success with younger women because I am around more of them than any other. I live in a college town and the college is my alma mater. I use the facilities there often. The grocery store, bank, service station, and some stores are near the college.

Some of the ideas here have become a natural part of me so I carry them around all the time. I’ve been doing it just long enough to begin to notice when and which women like it. I don’t know why some like it and others don’t and I don’t care anymore. I just follow up on those that do.

I am a counter-puncher. I target no individual woman.

Noticing when it “clicks” that has been the biggest milestone for me. Then, as a counter-puncher, I react to their interest and follow up.

 

[STR8UP]

I have had success with younger women because I am around more of them than any other. I live in a college town and the college is my alma mater. I use the facilities there often. The grocery store, bank, service station, and some stores are near the college.

Yea, when you tend to hang out with that crowd and do the same things they do, it just falls into place.

 

[Hitman10000]

If you're in your early 30s. Still working close to minimum wage (under $15/hour) , living at home/room mate then yeah consider yourself LOST HOPE.

Yes, it's about money but also about passion. You think I'm bullshiatting all you early 30s/late 30s/etc guys who live at home thinking it's alright being an intern making $10 an hour? Trust me, if a women in her mid to late 20s finds a guy in his 30s who owns a mortgage, makes $60k-90k a year, she will latch on to him like he was her doting cute puppy. Sure it's about money, but more of respect.

A guy that lives in an apartment next to me is 40+ years old. He works as an administrative assistant making $14-16 an hour. He has been single and alone for the past couple years. He rarely brings any girl over. Usually around his age he should be owning property not paying someone else off with no investing returns. He spends most of his day going to work at a dead end job, then goes home to watch tv or read books. Same o Same o everyday like a senior citizen waiting to die.

You can either choose to be a square brick lying on the road, never moving..or you can choose to be the smooth pebble that moves all over the beach.

 

[synergy1]

there is this dude who is a good 6 years older than I am ( I am 26) , and is dating a college junior, I think shes 20. This guy has kids from a divorse and she's actually fairly good looking. He definatly looks his age, but is partying with college girls.

Simple point; it can happen. Some girls looove older guys. Another thing is girls will tend to copy their friends, so if their friends like older guys, they likely will too.

 

[azflyboy]

No age is too old!!!!

I'm 37, and my third (yes third) wife moved out about three months ago.

At first I was totally worried about the typical things - are women gonna be attracted to a 37 year old guy who has been through three marriages?

Within two weeks of my wife leaving, a HOT 31 year old (married) woman in one of my classes invites herself over to my place to talk about class stuff. Now mind you, I've been married three times, so anymore I've taken the attitude - 'let others do what makes them happy and don't judge them'. She wanted to do me, so I let her make herself happy...

A couple weeks later, I take a trip to San Francisco to go party with a hot (Im usually more sparing with this comment, but when it's true it's true) 25 year old I've been strictly friends with for years. The first night I arrive, we get hammered with her friends, we end up back at her place, and before I know it, I'm hooking up with her.

A couple weeks later, I'm back in Phoenix, and I feel like I have my 'game' face on as I go on a couple first dates I've met through eHarmony. The first, she's ready to marry me after the first date and does a background check on me to see I'm still married (oops). The second, well on the second date I sealed the deal. It wasnt good, mind you, but was still easy to close.

Time and again I keep realizing no matter what your age, you have things workin for you, and things working against you. Sure - I may look like I'm 37, but I work out frequently which makes it easy to keep up with 'em. At 37, I make more than most anyone 10 years younger, can peer past the emotional b.s. most women try to pull, and can flip the game back around on them - make them pursue me and not the converse. For me, the age is merely a new part of the equation - something I have to mentally figure out 'how can I make this work for me', and not take the slams I receive (My favorite so far: 'I do not have a father fetish') - personally. She'll insult anyone, regardless of age is the way I figure it, she knows how to undermine insecurities, so it's my job to deflect that and have fun with it.

Here's a couple suggestions:

Do not EVER stop educating yourself in your interests. For me, I love traveling, I love education period, I love flying, and I love the whole holistic side of health and life. In the last two years I've been married, I've still continued my education - I took life coaching classes to completion so I'm a certified life coach, I'm taking classes at a local University to get another degree - in Marketing. I travel somewhere new internationally once every six months. I never thought much about it all - it's just something I enjoy doing. But what I didnt understand was - this all has made me more interesting as a person, and has given me even more to relate to women about while talking with them.

The other thing that works for me has been - especially with getting older - be fine with finding nice looking women to have as friends. It makes you look better to other women to have these hot women in tow, and these women do eventually come around - if you want them to. My experience has been once I find friendship with them, I have no desire to be with them *like that* - as I quit objectifying them and see their flaws which ... wow... why would any man want that in their life....

Anyways, hopefully my two cents helps... But seriously... At 37, it's actually MUCH easier now to get it than ever before.

Just say NO to marriage ;-)

 

[STR8UP]

At 37, I make more than most anyone 10 years younger, can peer past the emotional b.s. most women try to pull, and can flip the game back around on them - make them pursue me and not the converse.

Preach it brotha!

I've been telling these guys in their 20's that they haven't even scratched the surface yet. I never in my wildest dreams thought that the script would be totally flipped at this stage in my life. Every time I hear about a guy worried about getting older I laugh to myself cause I KNOW that as long as HE doesn't make his age an issue, no one else will either.

The other thing that works for me has been - especially with getting older - be fine with finding nice looking women to have as friends. It makes you look better to other women to have these hot women in tow, and these women do eventually come around - if you want them to. My experience has been once I find friendship with them, I have no desire to be with them *like that* - as I quit objectifying them and see their flaws which ... wow... why would any man want that in their life....

This is another thing that some guys don't seem to get, the whole "women as friends" issue.

I got slammed hard for admitting that most of my friends are chicks, but I don't give a damn cause I'm having the time of my life and it WORKS for me, as it obviously does you.

Anyways, hopefully my two cents helps... But seriously... At 37, it's actually MUCH easier now to get it than ever before.

Just say NO to marriage ;-)

Seems like you are hitting that sweet spot like some of the rest of us. Hope you stick around. Great post.

 

[Drum&Bass]

I'd like to know how many of you guys OWN your own homes and how has it effected the way women/people perceive you ?? whats it like owning a house and being single ?? how difficult is it to maintain on your own ?? starter homes or family homes ? what age did you buy your home, how much planning is to own a home ?? What about location, do you decide where your gonna be happiest in America or do you go where the job goes ?? I need details people !!!

 

[STR8UP]

I'd like to know how many of you guys OWN your own homes and how has it effected the way women/people perceive you ??

I'm sure my bachelor pad has helped my game at least a little. I might be the wrong person to ask though, cause my place is located within walking distance of the nightlife and it's very, very impressive when you first see it.

what age did you buy your home, how much planning is to own a home ??

Not much planning to own a home. Just save a few bucks for a down payment (or preferrably learn how to reduce or eliminate your down payment) Bought my first piece of real estate at about age 24-25.

 

[blueguy]

I'd like to know how many of you guys OWN your own homes and how has it effected the way women/people perceive you ?? whats it like owning a house and being single ?? how difficult is it to maintain on your own ?? starter homes or family homes ? what age did you buy your home, how much planning is to own a home ?? What about location, do you decide where your gonna be happiest in America or do you go where the job goes ?? I need details people !!!

That's a good question since I have feelings on the subject...

I bought my first house when I was 22. It was a large brand new house with lots of upgrades. I had owned a business which made a lot of money. It was meant as a method for "peacocking" as it's called, which I later realized is a very immature reason to buy an expensive house.

But, I will tell you the effect it had on people. First, the effect it had on me initially. In my mind back then, it put me in an "alpha" position compared to other guys. The effect it had on girls - it didn't change the game if they hadn't visited. If they had visited, I could tell an increase in interest. In fact, one of these girls later became my girlfriend. I had visual proof that I had things "going for me."

Here's where it gets interesting and maybe some know where I am going. Over time and a bit at a time, I lost my confidence due to sh!t tests I was getting. I took them personally and started wondering if she liked me or if it was because I had money. I started questioning myself. It snowballed up to the point where I lost her.

It doesn't matter what external things grab her attention if your confidence is built upon a false foundation.

Now, I do what I want. I still do stand out with nice clothes and car. But I prefer to live in apartments around college actually because even though I had roommates before, houses are very isolated. I prefer the social setting of apartments and condos. Maybe I don't look rich, but I don't care.

I am having more success than I ever was and know that while grabbing her attention is important, if I don't behave right to back it up then it matters for not.

Lastly, I've picked up the guitar and work out a lot I enjoy both and in my opinion I'm getting more success from this.

 

[Hitman10000]

What a wonderful Aprils Fools story you told us. Please go back to your real nickname and try not to make your late 30s self look better. It's okay that you have not succeeded despite many many guides back in the 1990s telling you damn your life will suck if you don't do this.

I'm 37, and my third (yes third) wife moved out about three months ago.

At first I was totally worried about the typical things - are women gonna be attracted to a 37 year old guy who has been through three marriages?

Within two weeks of my wife leaving, a HOT 31 year old (married) woman in one of my classes invites herself over to my place to talk about class stuff. Now mind you, I've been married three times, so anymore I've taken the attitude - 'let others do what makes them happy and don't judge them'. She wanted to do me, so I let her make herself happy...

A couple weeks later, I take a trip to San Francisco to go party with a hot (Im usually more sparing with this comment, but when it's true it's true) 25 year old I've been strictly friends with for years. The first night I arrive, we get hammered with her friends, we end up back at her place, and before I know it, I'm hooking up with her.

A couple weeks later, I'm back in Phoenix, and I feel like I have my 'game' face on as I go on a couple first dates I've met through eHarmony. The first, she's ready to marry me after the first date and does a background check on me to see I'm still married (oops). The second, well on the second date I sealed the deal. It wasnt good, mind you, but was still easy to close.

Time and again I keep realizing no matter what your age, you have things workin for you, and things working against you. Sure - I may look like I'm 37, but I work out frequently which makes it easy to keep up with 'em. At 37, I make more than most anyone 10 years younger, can peer past the emotional b.s. most women try to pull, and can flip the game back around on them - make them pursue me and not the converse. For me, the age is merely a new part of the equation - something I have to mentally figure out 'how can I make this work for me', and not take the slams I receive (My favorite so far: 'I do not have a father fetish') - personally. She'll insult anyone, regardless of age is the way I figure it, she knows how to undermine insecurities, so it's my job to deflect that and have fun with it.

Here's a couple suggestions:

Do not EVER stop educating yourself in your interests. For me, I love traveling, I love education period, I love flying, and I love the whole holistic side of health and life. In the last two years I've been married, I've still continued my education - I took life coaching classes to completion so I'm a certified life coach, I'm taking classes at a local University to get another degree - in Marketing. I travel somewhere new internationally once every six months. I never thought much about it all - it's just something I enjoy doing. But what I didnt understand was - this all has made me more interesting as a person, and has given me even more to relate to women about while talking with them.

The other thing that works for me has been - especially with getting older - be fine with finding nice looking women to have as friends. It makes you look better to other women to have these hot women in tow, and these women do eventually come around - if you want them to. My experience has been once I find friendship with them, I have no desire to be with them *like that* - as I quit objectifying them and see their flaws which ... wow... why would any man want that in their life....

Anyways, hopefully my two cents helps... But seriously... At 37, it's actually MUCH easier now to get it than ever before.

Just say NO to marriage ;-)

 

[azflyboy]

Awww. how cute. A cynic =)

What a wonderful Aprils Fools story you told us. Please go back to your real nickname and try not to make your late 30s self look better. It's okay that you have not succeeded despite many many guides back in the 1990s telling you damn your life will suck if you don't do this.

Aww. how cute. a cynic =)

Check it out - I'm crawlin these boards looking for tidbits of direct and indirect advice. Just like I'm grabbing issues of Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, GQ, heck - even browsing iVillage. I mean, my reality says - whatever I *think* I know about women, life, and love - it's all just a fraction of what's real, and if I want to get better at dealing with women, particularly with this string of marriages, then I have to take what EVERYONE says about everything relational and learn from them and integrate that as a part of me. Guys. Girls. Doesnt make a difference. Everyone has something to contribute.

I'm new to these boards (and heck, the PUA community in general).. however - I am a proud card carrying member of the mile high club, I've had the threesomes, foursomes, and plenty of oddball other **** happen throughout my life. But for what it's worth - these guides, hitman, really dont teach ya jack **** except one man's idea of how to approach and seal the deal from their perspective. Most are right on about finding your groove - as it is all about inner game - regardless of your age, but after that, what works for each guy is usually HIGHLY individualistic - but highly similar in just being comfortable with yourself and being unafraid to be that way in public.

With that said, Hitman, it's the mark of a 'small' guy (or do you have a ***** tucked firmly away?) - who I find - in the real world at least - choose to insult before understanding. You're probably a great guy in reality. Let it show...

Dont get me wrong, my personal opinion is - I'm NOT good at this. I'm ok - but circumstance and blind luck mixed in with annoying persistence (No means yes, of course) and a nice dose of alcohol have often been my guide. Which is why I'm here. I'm out for fun, plain and simple, but I'm also out to boost my odds as I'm in no hurry to meet future ex #4. I figure, if I can be my 'best', I can focus more on what it is I truly want in someone I find myself with rather than play the odds...

And thanks, STR8UP. you rock. =)

The game really never ends, ya know?

And it is all good...

 

[d9930380]

Hitman10000 - You made a point about girls not respecting loser guys. That's exactly it, you can't love what you don't respect. It applies to all relationships.

Alot of girls don't respect older guys hitting on younger girls because they see them as losers not wanting to grow up and they tend to be the more conservative women. Girls who are experimental/liberal/party girls don't see it the same way and might judge you differently and therefore still respect you.

 

[Das]

*sigh* New Jersey

You live in New jersey, this is THE WORST STATE to meet a woman for a relationship... people that live here have no ambition, losers, idiots, lazy and or have massive issues...

The key to womens hearts in NJ is MONEY !!!! its the only thing that people care about in this sh!t hole. Dress nice, drive a nice car, have a nice place and be a generous spender when you go out, and it should be VERRRY EASY to hook up/date/marry any hottie (trust me).

true indeed, but women here live FAST, the range is more 17 - 24..maybe 25 and up, but women here get weird after 25.

DON'T BE A FOOL !! NEVER LISTEN TO WOMEN HERE !! You can pull chicks well into your 40's if you've maintained your body, how do i know ?, i've got a few acquiantance's in their 40's that are banging 18 and up..

don't fall into the marriage trap here !! NJ girls are NOT, REPEAT NOT THE TYPE OF GIRLS YOU WANT TO MARRY !!

Amen to all that. And based on my expieriance, this is the only place on Earth where a 300 lb Piney is going to think she's "too good for you."

'course I'm in Cumberland Co. So it may be that

 

[PeeGee]

This thread concerns me since there's an underlying mentality that all men and women must get married in order to be socially accepted, and secondly that anybody here in this forum actually gives a damn what other people consider is socially acceptable.

I'm not going to tell you not to get married or to get married, but for you to critically consider whether you ought to get married, and if so, whether there's a cut-off date for that to happen. Granted that you want to get married, there will always be single women age 1-80 (for different reasons obviously). That's all you need to know and hear.