Assess my FB game!

[Firefly]

So I am trying to get back into the game, and am currently working on a 8.0 French girl I know. There is a slight snag in that one of my good friends is desperately in love with her but he is being totally AFC about it so no chance for him anyway (he is currently letting her live with him rent free, and didn't kick her out even after she brought home some other guys to bang ).

Anyway, I am meeting a lot of younger women who seem to be happy to pass on their FB details, and chat there when they see me on-line so thought I would give it a try using it to chat to women. Here is the first chat I had with the French chick on FB tonight - am I doing ok or do I need to improve my game, and if so, how?

Today
[Me]
So when are we going to have that eat-off? (At the last party we met at, she bragged she could eat more then me even though she is a size 0 so I challenged her to prove it at an eat off)
[French Chick]
Well apparently i'm off thrusday, but be ready to buy the food for me =)
[Me]
Ha ha, booked this Thursday
Going to a free dinner

[French Chick]]
You meant, I AM going to a free diner
bit that worksfor me
[Me]
Sorry, it is 18+ only
[French Chick]]
ok I'm too young but you're probably too old, so it keeps the balance
[Me]
That only works for couples, not friends.
[French Chick]]
If you say so, but just try to remember that I'm over 18, so you could probably talk to me as a normal person =)
[Me]
Nah, I have too much fun carrying you over my shoulder ans trying to make you burp
[French Chick]]
that's for babies !
[Me]
Exactly

[French Chick]]
so thursday right? What time?
[Me]
Ha ha, I will let you know.
It is a professional dinner for (censored) so am not sure if I should take you
as they might think you are a patient
[French Chick]]
Not your best joke... but I think I get usedto it
[Me]
Although, we can go for drinks after the dinner and presentation
[French Chick]]
but is it a real professionnal dinner?
[Me]
Of course
With real professional food

[French Chick]]
like, really?
[Me]
like, totally

[French Chick]]
so I can't really go to that dinner if it's a professionnal one, can I?
[Me]
That's right
but I can scrape some leftovers off people's plates
and put them in a plastic bag for you
[French Chick]]
so nice of you ==)
=)
[Me]
I am nothing but a gentleman
[French Chick]]
you think so?
=)
I wouldn't say that...
[Me]
Hey, I always make sure the kids are tucked in bed safely before letting the party start
If you are nice, I might even read you a bedtime story first
[French Chick]]
kids ussally don't like that
[Me]
They like my stories
They are full of sword fights
and pirates
[French Chick]]
they wanna stay for the big party
[Me]
called Captain Jack Sparrow
[French Chick]]
nah, I'm a girl
I want somegirl stories
[Me]
I save my girl stories for the boys in the locker room

[French Chick]]
with an handsome guy
[Me]
Why do you want a handsome guy to tell you stories in bed?
Seems like a waste
[French Chick]]
I don't wanna hear those ones...
[Me]
Much more fun things you could be doing
[French Chick]]
nah I meant, the handsome guy in the story, but if you could find me a handsome guy rightnow, i woudn't mind =)
[Me]
Nah, I still have the flu
so too tired
besides (mutual friend) will hit me if anything happened between us
so just friends
I can tell you stories about Keira Knightly on a priate ship though
[French Chick]]
what?!
[Me]
Well, she is a noblewoman
who is in love with Orlando Bloom
[French Chick]
well anyway, i have to go, we're gonna wath amovie
[Me]
and they have lots of adventures
[French Chick]]
watch
=)
see ya !
[Me]
22:05
Well, don't watch "Pirates of the Carribean"
They totally stole my story ideas

... And that's when she ended the chat. So did I do ok, or did I blow it?

 

[Chickfight]

bla bla bla bla bla blaaah. yeah you blew it.

 

[Firefly]

Ha ha, ok, but why?

 

[Tiguere]

Why so many god damn jokes. You started good. Then she askes for time and place and instead of telling her you keep joking about on and on like an energizer bunny.

This girl clearly is open for the possibility. Take her to a cheap all u can eat buffet ( better idea is to take her for drinks and forget the food)

And please a few jokes here and there is fine but you went overboard. You didn't act serious not once at all.

 

[MurdocIsGod]

Mate, listen to me and my opinions on this because I am good at picking up girls via FB, text, etc.

Today
[Me]
So when are we going to have that eat-off? (At the last party we met at, she bragged she could eat more then me even though she is a size 0 so I challenged her to prove it at an eat off)
[French Chick]
Well apparently i'm off thrusday, but be ready to buy the food for me =)
[Me]
Ha ha, booked this Thursday
Going to a free dinner

[French Chick]]
You meant, I AM going to a free diner
bit that worksfor me
[Me]
Sorry, it is 18+ only
[French Chick]]
ok I'm too young but you're probably too old, so it keeps the balance
[Me]
That only works for couples, not friends.
[French Chick]]
If you say so, but just try to remember that I'm over 18, so you could probably talk to me as a normal person =)
[Me]
Nah, I have too much fun carrying you over my shoulder ans trying to make you burp
[French Chick]]
that's for babies !
[Me]
Exactly

[French Chick]]
so thursday right? What time?
[Me]
Ha ha, I will let you know.
It is a professional dinner for (censored) so am not sure if I should take you
as they might think you are a patient
[French Chick]]
Not your best joke... but I think I get usedto it
[Me]
Although, we can go for drinks after the dinner and presentation
[French Chick]]
but is it a real professionnal dinner?
[Me]
Of course
With real professional food
=)
[French Chick]]
like, really?
[Me]
like, totally

[French Chick]]
so I can't really go to that dinner if it's a professionnal one, can I?
[Me]
That's right
but I can scrape some leftovers off people's plates
and put them in a plastic bag for you
[French Chick]]
so nice of you ==)
=)
[Me]
I am nothing but a gentleman
[French Chick]]
you think so?
=)
I wouldn't say that...

Problem: too much "****y" jokes, no substance. You can't have a whole conversation like this. I can't put it into words but it doesn't feel right. Also try using some "" smileys to make things seem more playful. Through a screen she can't understand the way things are being said, so stick them in sometimes.

What you should've done is stopped cracking jokes and started speaking more seriously. Stop seeing everything she says as an opportunity to try and unleash your "****y funny" humour upon her. Relax and talk casually. The witty banter should be more infrequent. There comes a time when something can be a bit much, and when she's looking for a normal conversation you're just throwing joke after joke at her.

[Me]
Hey, I always make sure the kids are tucked in bed safely before letting the party start
If you are nice, I might even read you a bedtime story first
[French Chick]]
kids ussally don't like that
[Me]
They like my stories
They are full of sword fights
and pirates
[French Chick]]
they wanna stay for the big party
[Me]
called Captain Jack Sparrow
[French Chick]]
nah, I'm a girl
I want somegirl stories
[Me]
I save my girl stories for the boys in the locker room

[French Chick]]
with an handsome guy
[Me]
Why do you want a handsome guy to tell you stories in bed?
Seems like a waste
[French Chick]]
I don't wanna hear those ones...
[Me]
Much more fun things you could be doing
[French Chick]]
nah I meant, the handsome guy in the story, but if you could find me a handsome guy rightnow, i woudn't mind =)
[Me]
Nah, I still have the flu
so too tired
besides (mutual friend) will hit me if anything happened between us
so just friends
I can tell you stories about Keira Knightly on a priate ship though
[French Chick]]
what?!
[Me]
Well, she is a noblewoman
who is in love with Orlando Bloom
[French Chick]
well anyway, i have to go, we're gonna wath amovie
[Me]
and they have lots of adventures
[French Chick]]
watch
=)
see ya !
[Me]
22:05
Well, don't watch "Pirates of the Carribean"
They totally stole my story ideas

This is where it got bad. Stop forcing your gay pirate thing onto her , look I can assure you 100% definitely when you speak to people you're not interested in you don't go on at them with your pirate story or whatever, so cut it out. It seems forced and it clearly became tiresome!

See what I bolded, you should've gone off the gay pirate crap at this point. Be like "girl stories, don't you have DVDs for that?" Your objective here is to get the girl to go back to your place with you for god sake, **** this Jack Sparrow bull****. I know you did cut it out but you bring it up again later. See the Kiera Knightley (sp?) line. You put this in there in case she shot you down. It was a defense mechanism. leave that **** out, be ballsy and flat out leave in the relationship line without anything else.

Overall it's just very forced. As I said earlier what you're doing here is focusing on being ****y & funny, throwing her joke after joke after joke, just cut it out. What you should be doing is thinking "okay right, she's going to dinner with me cool. Now I want her to come back to my place after..." and if you was focussing on that process instead of cracking jokes what you would've done is said something like, when she asked about girl stories, "I don't know any, my sister has a load of girly things on DVD I think they're kinda gay though", see, talk about movies, because when you're talking about movies, you can ask her about films she likes... And that's when you can go "awesome, I got *insert movie title* on DVD but never got round to seeing it, we can watch it after the dinner "

See? Focus on the goal of getting her home all the time or getting sexual with her and that way you'll lead things down the right path instead of fluffing about cutlasses and Johnny Depp. Like did you really expect that to lead the conversation to where you want it to be? No.

-----

But anyway in summary you need to sort out a few things. Firstly less joking around, be playful and make witty teasing jokes about her but far less frequently. Learn to be serious in conversation with girls too. And aside from that ALWAYS focus on your objective to either get sexual with her, or get her to your place where you can escalate it to sex.

You haven't blown it, you blew the conversation but you haven't "blown it", you can repair this by doing what I just said above. Have a similar conversation about dinner etc but this time don't **** up, tone down your clowning (in fact I'd say cut it out completely for a while after that convo) and focus on the end result of sex.

 

[JPlaya]

you dragged on for too long

 

[Jeffst1980]

I'm confused...were you trying to game her? Because you essentially gave her a 'LJBF.' Why would you bring up that you can't do anything with her because of your friend?? That's why she left so abruptly; you took away her plausible deniability that would've allowed things to "just happen." In her mind, you're either not interested in her, or a bit socially inept.

You started strong, however. You should've made plans and then gotten the hell off of there--this got worse as it went on.

Don't tell a girl you want to be "friends" if you want something more. This doesn't make her more interested, it makes you look too scared to be direct about things. It was obvious that you were "testing the waters"--don't do that. Talk to her like a man talking a woman...chicks know when you're attracted to them, anyway.

 

[MurdocIsGod]

It was obvious that you were "testing the waters"--don't do that.

Yes definitely this

 

[Firefly]

Thanks for all the great tips!

A few comments:

1. The reason there were so many "Pirates" comments last time I met up with this chick was at a party and we both watched this clip on the big screen while talking:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY

That being said, there was too much joking in general so I will cut it down.

2. The reason I didn't commit to the night she wanted was because I can't actually meet her that night (the professional dinner I mentioned actually will go on all night). I didn't want to commit to another night because I figured it would be a little better to seem not so interested in meeting up with her (trying to be a challenge); was that a mistake?

3. In the past, I actually found telling girls who are used to be hit on a lot (and this one definitely is) that I just wanted to be friends from the beginning actually increased their interest in me (I actually said it to one chick who everyone in my social group was trying to get into bed, and I ended up sleeping with her after she flashed her breasts at me at a crowded bar to "prove that (she was) actually a girl"). However, this is something I usually do in person, with more humor thrown into the comments. Is it something I should avoid on chat?

 

[mahoney]

1) you went on too long. All conversations have natural arcs, and you need to be aware of when a particular conversation has reached it's natural conclusion. Many dudes have this problem and continue to drag conversation on past this point, spoiling the earlier part (ironically partly because the dude is being something of an AW, but isn't really aware of it)

2) I wouldn't try pinning down what you want or saying you want a particular thing (friends, fbs, relationship, whatever) this is another major problem too many dudes have, this weird desire to label things really early on, instead of just seeing what happens. It's sorta limiting and overthinking and not very open

 

[dj_china]

way over did it at the end. especially when she said she had to go, you should've just said ok bye

once the date is set up you end the convo
you should always end it first to let the girl feel unfinished
if she makes closure on the conversation she wont think about it anymore. if you end it first she'll think about the stuff she wanted to say but didnt get to say. little tricks like that make a big difference

 

[Rogue]

Don't chat with chicks over instant messaging. Any guy who is genuinely busy in life, any guy with a kitty litter of chicks, doesn't have time for it.

 

[MurdocIsGod]

any guy with a kitty litter of chicks, doesn't have time for it.

COMPLETELY untrue.

 

[Vice]

This thread is HILARIOUS.

Had you just gotten her number and called her to ask her out, you would have saved SO MUCH TIME.