Asking out in person vs telephone...

[ApparentlyFromMars]

As you can read in the thread: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=45559 i've met this great girl I'm going to ask out. I think everything points to very high IL (Might be wrong though ) so I'm gonna ask her out. Now she lives at a dorm VERY close to me like 1-2 min walk max so the question is... Should I call her up to ask her out or should I go to her and ask her out (Like visit my mates that live with her and just bring it up then ). I have a good dateplan ready if she wants. Kozy dinner first at a tower then back to my place for some wine and talking

So I thought I'd wait til tomorrow and then either call her or talk with her in person and ask her out for either wednesday or thursday, so what todo?!

Thanks in advance

ApparentlyFromMars!

 

[chlywly]

I would personaly do it in person.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Sounds like you are putting it off because you are afraid. Just ask her directly, you'll survive if she doesn't want to go out with you. It'll be a lot easier than sitting around playing the "what if" game.

 

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Sounds like you are putting it off because you are afraid. Just ask her directly, you'll survive if she doesn't want to go out with you. It'll be a lot easier than sitting around playing the "what if" game.

Of course, if you don't have the balls to call, I recommed the following what if game.

Get some prickly thorny flower and start plucking the petals one by one saying "she loves me" and "she loves me not."

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

I'm honestly not afraid to ask her out, I'm just wondering what is the best method and most galant one =)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ApparentlyFromMars
I'm honestly not afraid to ask her out, I'm just wondering what is the best method and most galant one =)

You're just asking her out, there's no nobility involved. Do you think that she's that shallow to need someone to ask in a specific way? Isn't her feeling that you are interested in her enough to impress her? Does it need to be this difficult?

If you run into her regularly, ask her face to face. It will seem strange if you bump into her often but decide to ask her on the telephone. If you don't see her often, then call. No matter what you decide, stop wasting time.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Yes setting up a date via phone is good but in person would show even more confidence imo. What are some others calls on this?

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

I'm gonna call her tomorrow evening, that sounds like a good time to call.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
Yes setting up a date via phone is good but in person would show even more confidence imo. What are some others calls on this?

I don't think there is anything wrong with using the telephone however you miss out on the chance of using kino if you don't ask in person.

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

I've met her friday and saturday and gonna call her tomorrow and you suggest setting up a weekend date? Wouldn't wednesday or thursday be better to go out?

The reason I might wonder abit about this girl is the fact that she said "I want to get to know you better" before kissing which TOTALLY threw me out cause her bodylanguage said otherwise and I've never EVER have any girl say anything like that to me. I've always gotten girls to put out ONS etc. So this is unusual for me.

 

[trevor2003]

They are both perfectly fine! I usually use the phone though, I don't know why, I guess it's just my style?!? I like to get her phone # in person and call her up when I feel like it!

Just don't set up a date using e-mail or instant messages!

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

Of course not =) I'll phone her. I'm still not sure which day I should try and plan with her.... wednesday, thursday, friday or saturday?

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

...?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ApparentlyFromMars
...?

If you are free, does it really matter which day? This is why it is good to have other things or people in your schedule. Then you would not have to worry about how you will be perceived if you are available the entire week. Ask her out for any day and use the other days to meet a few more women.

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

yepp I just called her today and asked her out we both have time beginning of next week so we were gonna talk then (sunday or something).

I do think she is very interested but I also do think she is dating someone else or simular now. Her friends was certain she was free but they aren't so sure now When I called her she was on her way out (22:30) to visit a friend (Male) and she was going to take the buss (the last buss BACK to her place goes at midnight) so she was either going to spend around an hour there or stay the night (which I think). On saturday when all of us were out and dancing she went off after the clubs closed to hook up with some friends for an afterparty too.

But we will see on the possible date I'm very sure she has high IL inn me. It's easy to hear when talking to her and also from what her friends say and how she has acted the two times we've met and danced out.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Pretty late to go visit a guy, and at that, she took the bus and is not coming back until daylight - seems to be fairly devoted to this guy! I don't think she is going there to bake him cookies!

At least she was honest - was she trying to tell you she is seeing someone? Or was this platonic - did she say?

Calling on telephone was a better move versus in person unless she was already in front of you - as she was at the party the other day. Plus you just met her and you are already tracking her down at home! Would have look akward and desperate to walk over there just for her to tell you that she has a b/f.

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

She said it was just a buddy(She said I'm going to visit a mate/buddy, which I hardly believe he is)... So it might actually just be a buddy (It's not abnormal to go that late to visit a friend even though that would mean a 1hour stay if she was taking the bus back again). Maybe it's a fvckbuddy, maybe she is dating/seeing him, who knows. I know that the times of the week now that I go that late to visit someone it's one of the girls I'm seeing. According to her roommates which are our common friends she IS single, they told me to go for it.

Also all the signs that she would like to get to know me and see how we click are there. I mean our chemistry is very good and stuff and everything she has done has been really into me like the dancing and constantly eyeing me up when I was not right beside her.

The only negative points I see here is the fact that she went to a buddy that late and that she went to an afterparty saturday instead of going home with all of us from the former party. Oh and the fact that she sounded abit stressed at the end of the convo but all the other things are pointing at very high IL... Like the dancing, like the eyeing, like the blushing/nervousness when her mates talked about me to her and stuff like that, her giving me nr telling me to call/txt, telling me she wants to get to know me good, saying she wants to go out, and when we talked about going out next week she thought it be a good idea etc etc etc.


So I'm gonna get my mates to pry out some details

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

btw since we talked about going out beginning of next week since we both might have time then... When should I call her? Sunday? Should I have any contact with her in the meantime? (I talked with her tuesday, 2 days ago when we talked about going out)...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Call her sunday and not before then - do all the talking on the date and not beforehand. Just small talk on sunday for only a few minutes and then make concrete plans that fits your schedules for the date and plan a fun activvity!

 

[Nutmeg]

y ask her OUT? u know where she lives, and u are confident she's interested - invite yourself IN. If you find the situation at her place too awkward, then do ur romantic date thing....sounds like the ****y approach could work well here?