Asking out an employee

[Chris735]

I'm 21 years old and I'm the Assistant Night Manager at a grocery store. We have a 18 year old cashier who is about as cute as they come. She's single because she recently moved here. I've talked to her every chance I get, and she always smiles and waves when she sees me. The problem is, I'm afraid she just sees me as the boss, not as dating material, and I doubt she realizes I'm interested in her.

For a long time I've wanted to ask her out but because I'm her boss I've been unable to. That all changed yesterday. She quit. She only has a few more shifts left. This is my one chance to ask her out, and I'm taking it.

I'll have a perfect opportunity tonight. We'll be alone together in the office while I deposit the day's cash into the safe. My concern is how exactly I should go about this. I'm thinking something along the lines of, "well, it’s been great working with you, but I’d like to get to know you outside of work. How would you like to go out for coffee or something sometime?"

What do you think?

 

[jlr12584]

i suppose since you know for a FACT she is quitting you can ask her out. however, as u probably already know, bosses are NOT allowed to date employees, as it violates the sexual harassment policy in practically every business. It would be best if you asked for her number, and called her for a date after she quits so this wont come back to haunt you. Many people have lost jobs over things like this, so its best to play it safe. In the future, i recommend you keep your work professional and do not see those working under you as dating material.

 

[Chris735]

I've been with this company for three years and I never so much as considered asking out anybody from work until she came along. There's just something about her.

I've already made my decision to ask her out, and I know that won't be an issue with my boss. My question deals with how exactly I should go about asking for the date. I just got out of a two year relationship and I'm dreading the idea of asking for a date. I'm completely out of practice with this sort of thing.

 

[flexion_]

Just get her number and ask her out after she is done work. A good-bye drink or whatever - even bring some friends along.

Then on the good-bye drinks/dinner whatever ask her for her phone number to go out. I think if you ask her out while she is still at work whatever negative vibes she has (she quit afterall) will be attached to you.

 

[comic_relief]

girls from work

NOOOOO ! ! ! ! ! !

Do not date anyone from work!!!

I made this mistake! If and when you break up, believe me it will bite you in the a$$ in more ways then one.

You will have to see her but since she is quitting. Date her after she quits.

No woman is worth the problems that I went through although the time we were together was awesome. Its not worth the pain of having to see her.

comic_relief

 

[ocbeachbum]

NOOO

I was a boss and I dated one of my employees. Needless to say she turned psycho and we both got fired. Dont do it until shes gone and advice to everyone else:

NEVER DATE SOMEONE FROM WORK

 

[comic_relief]

Re: NOOO

Originally posted by ocbeachbum
I was a boss and I dated one of my employees. Needless to say she turned psycho and we both got fired. Dont do it until shes gone and advice to everyone else:

NEVER DATE SOMEONE FROM WORK

LISTEN TO HIM!!!

If a breakup occurs, it will usually turn out hell for you. Trust me. It is not worth it.

 

[Bill]

Re: girls from work

Originally posted by comic_relief
NOOOOO ! ! ! ! ! !

Do not date anyone from work!!!

What he said.
Peace.

-Bill

 

[penkitten]

bad idea !

 

[Long2024]

Missing the point

First, to Chris375: Your idea works fine.
To everyone else: She's quitting, so it's not an issue. Even if she weren't, what if the company didn't have a sexual harassment policy, or if it didn't actually prohibit dating? I'd kind of expect that with any company that would have a lot of 18 and 21-year-olds in its employ. I'm on the board of a nonprofit that hires primarily in that age range, and while we tend to frown on such relationships, no one's going to get fired or passed over for promotion w/o showing significant bad judgment in other areas as well.
The question then comes down to your personality. If you can avoid being obsessed with the girl (like you're supposed to do anyway...), there is such a thing as an amicable breakup.

 

[Hoppy]

I'd work on getting her number first and then go for the date.

 

[jlr12584]

there's a difference between coworkers dating and a boss and his employee. the boss, or manager, is given power over the employee and thats why it is not acceptable.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

As soon as anyone finds out at work you're going to have a lot of problems, especially since you're in a supervisory position.

The reason for that is that there will be a perception that she is getting special treatment or was getting special treatment. Even if it isnt true, this perception will damage your ability to perform the control function of management because your employees will not respect you and not accept your authority due to the perception of unfairness.

 

[Chris735]

I agree with all of your concerns about dating an employee, which is why I never asked her out in the past. When she quit, that changed everything. After tonight she will only have two more shifts with me, and in both cases the Night Manager will be on so I will not have direct control over her (or any time alone with her, which is why I must do it tonight). There cannot be and will not be any special treatment, and I am secure in the knowledge that this will not affect my employment in any way. In fact, another one of our supervisors has made a habit of dating the cashiers, and though the Store Manager frowns upon this, it has not affected the supervisor's job in any way.

The bottom line is tonight is the one and only chance I have to do this. It's now or not at all, and not at all is not an option. The point of this thread was not to ask whether or not you feel it's acceptable for me to ask her out. The point was to determine the best way to word it, given my situation.