Asking a woman out multiple times before you get a "yes"

[ThisNThat]

I didn't want to title this, "Does persistence pay off?' because that was too obvious.

I was talking to this one woman, was dating a kind of dorky looking, out of shape guy with a receding hairline. She's drop dead gorgeous, great smile, etc. I think she sees inner-beauty because she's kind of a hippie/new age woman.

Anyway, I was at party, and he brought him with her . She told me he must have asked her out 3 times before she said "Yes".

Apparently, she blew him off each time or had an excuse....then one day, the final time he asked her out, something "clicked" and she went for it.

Now, they've been together ever since.

What do you think he did right?

If I did that, I'd get blocked on line or get labeled an insistent creep.

 

[AlphaNate]

If you're going based of what she told you, then you don't know what happened. Women lie.

 

[dude99]

I saw this meme one time and I'll describe it.

There was this old 70 year old man in his swim trunks standing on the beach. He was gray haired. His skin was horribly wrinkled his face was old, his eyes were sunken in and the guy all around didn't look well.

Under his arm was this 22 year old super model gorgeous blond that was contouring her body against his. Her body was pratically perfect not a blemish on her. They were both grinning from ear to ear.

The words underneith said :

"How to spot the millionaire on the beach."

She blew him off a few times before saying yes? What changed? Did she suddenly become aware of his inner beauty or did she learn how much money made and suddenly he became interesting?

 

[Roober]

Interest is a weird thing...

I invited my exgf out several times over the course of 8 months before we started dating. She couldn't and didn't counter. We still saw each other fairly regularly, and chatted and I remained unphased by it. Eventually, I was headed to vegas for a bachelor party and invited her to tag along (I was there for an extra day). After that, we hung out every two weeks or so, and she fell hard for me. Had I maintained good frame, I might have been the one dumping her, not the other way around....

Interest with women is an odd thing... I suppose I was an orbiter that was just waiting for my chance. Once we actually got to hang out, she saw something she didn't before. This is where men differ from women. If I am not attracted to someone, there isn't anything that will ever make me want to fvck her. With women, they can "warm up" to men over time, illustrating how women are driven by far more than looks, and rely on how you tap their emotions...

 

[Bokanovsky]

Asking "does persistence pay off" is akin to asking if investing in the stock market pays off. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. It depends on many factors, some of which are within your control and some of which are not.

 

[Jetleg]

From my experience - its useless 99% of the time.

The usual story: we'll go on a boring date. She is not really interested but thinks to her self "why not, i got nothing better to do". 1 to 2 hours of small talk with odd silence between questions.

Waste of time and money. The only time it will work is when she finds out you are rich / famous.

 

[devilkingx2]

persistance only pays off if she's at maybe and you get her up to a yes

or if she has a legitimate reason, like if you're trying to seduce your professor or something

999 times out of 1,000 though, if she says no it's because she made up her mind that she neither likes nor wants you, not because of anything else.

 

[Trump]

Bro you even asking this question means you believe what any woman tells you. You can't take the word of ANY woman. How do you know she asked 3 times? How do you know she isn't using him? How do you know he didn't beg? How you do you know he didn't pay her? How do you his parents didn't pay her? How do you know they are having sex? How do you know he isn't paying for sex?

You should ask a girl once. If she balks, move on. You ask more than that, she is on the ground laughing with her friends thinking you are desperate and creepy.

"Would you like to go out with me?" "No"
"Would you like to go out with me?" "No"
"Would you like to go out with me?" "Wow, something clicked the 3rd time you asked me out. Now I see the light."

Brutal.

 

[wifehunter]

Ask once. Is no? Walk, and see if chases. She chase, she must ask out second time. Is her turn.

Want to play game, girls?

Ok, I play game called "I win"

You no play fair, I find other girl.

Lol

 

[AlexKaiser]

The only thing I could think of that isn't "she found out he had money" was that she had her eyes set on a better prize when he asked, and when she failed to bag her intended target, he just happened to be there, so she accepted him instead.

 

[ThisNThat]

In my opinion, every woman, regardless of looks, wants to claim that she is being chased and/or rejecting men. In my mind it is equivalent to the cliche of men exchanging fish stories.

Also, with every couple, it seems that the man had to either persist or realize how dumb and ungreatful he was for not making the woman exclusive to his life.

Notice how it's NEVER the woman who has to persist or admit how stupid she was for taking so long to make him her BF/husband.

Yeah, and it's always a part of their "How we met" stories.

"Oh, lol...Ted must have asked me out....how many times was it Ted?"

Ted: 5 times

Her: "Oh yes....yeah, it took him that many times to ask me out before I said yes."

Group of shallow friends giggle and laugh. (at the p-whipped guy)

 

[dude99]

Yeah, and it's always a part of their "How we met" stories.

"Oh, lol...Ted must have asked me out....how many times was it Ted?"

Ted: 5 times

Her: "Oh yes....yeah, it took him that many times to ask me out before I said yes."

Group of shallow friends giggle and laugh. (at the p-whipped guy)

This here is why i live by the rule one chance per lifetime. That includes asking out. If it is a no, then that is an immediate next.

 

[ThisNThat]

This here is why i live by the rule one chance per lifetime. That includes asking out. If it is a no, then that is an immediate next.

I knew a guy that did this, and all his female friends are telling him, "You give up to easily"

When I tried more than one attempt, it was never well received and my "persistence" was considered "pushy"

 

[ThisNThat]

I respectfully disagree.

In my opinion "inner beauty" is not what women want from men. They seek power and ambition in exchange for survival and sex.

Hippie chicks don't even care for power or status either.

 

[dude99]

I knew a guy that did this, and all his female friends are telling him, "You give up to easily"

When I tried more than one attempt, it was never well received and my "persistence" was considered "pushy"

All his female friends tell him he gives up too easily because they want the attention of being chased. They are taking the side of the woman and NOT helping his cause. If a woman is genuinely interested they won't do anything that would blow their chance with you.

I turned chicks into FBs and only FBs because they blew their chance by playing this game. I had one in paticular keep chasing me for 3 years after the fact. I asked her out she said no. I immediatly turned my attention to other girls. She realized i was no longer paying her any attention. She started to peruse me. I used her as a FB only. After one of our many sessions she asked if we could be exclusive. I said "we aren't even dating. This is just sechs." She got mad i didn't care. She got over being angry when she realized i didn't respond or call after 2 weeks. She reached out and asked if we could date. I said " sorry that shipped sailed months ago. You had your chance and blew it ive moved on." She then continued to chase me for 3 years, and all i used her for was sechs. No dates. No money ever spent on her nothing. It was her 100% calling me.

So yes. One chance per lifetime teaches them to NOT play games.

Ps. Do not listen to the advice of chicks. They will stear you wrong on purpose theb blsme you.

 

[ThisNThat]

All his female friends tell him he gives up too easily because they want the attention of being chased. They are taking the side of the woman and NOT helping his cause. If a woman is genuinely interested they won't do anything that would blow their chance with you.

I turned chicks into FBs and only FBs because they blew their chance by playing this game. I had one in paticular keep chasing me for 3 years after the fact. I asked her out she said no. I immediatly turned my attention to other girls. She realized i was no longer paying her any attention. She started to peruse me. I used her as a FB only. After one of our many sessions she asked if we could be exclusive. I said "we aren't even dating. This is just sechs." She got mad i didn't care. She got over being angry when she realized i didn't respond or call after 2 weeks. She reached out and asked if we could date. I said " sorry that shipped sailed months ago. You had your chance and blew it ive moved on." She then continued to chase me for 3 years, and all i used her for was sechs. No dates. No money ever spent on her nothing. It was her 100% calling me.

So yes. One chance per lifetime teaches them to NOT play games.

Ps. Do not listen to the advice of chicks. They will stear you wrong on purpose theb blsme you.

Why are you even doing the FB thing with her? That's rather contradictory as I would not even want that woman in my life in ANY capacity, including FB.

 

[RangerMIke]

Patience pays... persistence does not.

Your question: "What do you think he did right?"
Answer: Nothing... it was all about her and what was going on with her. It's more about timing than anything else. She might have just been pushed away by a dude she really wanted, and needed the ego boost, could have found out the guy she is seeing had something she wanted.

I've asked out chicks more than twice and gotten good results. The difference is the TIME between when you asked her out. I'll ask out a chick and if she says no and doesn't counter.... I move on, if after a couple of months, she puts herself in my orbit and giving me IOI, I'll try again, if she says 'no' again I stop trying... but AGAIN, if I find her in my line of sight and is giving me 'approach' BL, sure I'll walk up and ask again. This is where patience can work for you. The key is does she come to you or express interest in some way... This isn't persistence it's taking advantage of opportunity as it comes up.

You really don't know enough about what happened here, could have been the same thing... yea he asked her out 3 time before she said yes, but it could have been months between each ask.

 

[dude99]

Why are you even doing the FB thing with her? That's rather contradictory as I would not even want that woman in my life in ANY capacity, including FB.

Everything was on my terms. I did what i wanted when i wanted to and with her. I was getting laid. At the time it was all i cared about to do with her. She was a plate. Nothing more.

 

[Alvafe]

Maybe a few don't, but in my opinion, almost all of them would have fvucked Hendrix backstage at Woodstock.

saying hippie girl don't like power or status is a lie, she want these, she just use the new wave thing as a excuse for her froliching around with free love, pretty much she is a ***** who don't like to take too many baths.

but moving on, asking woman around more then once on dates is ok, as long she is not the only one you are asking, sometimes opportunity rises and you should grab it, the important is not stay waiting and asking only ONE woman, do it with several then it will not look like much, being unfased when she says no is also a good thing to do

 

[SuckItUp]

It's all relative. It also depends how one defines persistence. If you keep asking a girl to go out with you and she's never flirting with you and is saying no then that's the wrong type of persistence. However, if you ask a girl out and she says no and you go about your life and then you ask her again while being ****y and funny and maintaining frame. Then there's nothing wrong with it.

The key is understanding that women are driven by their emotions and sometimes they could just be ignoring everyone, be on their period, going through some crisis, etc and your approach was fine but you were going to close because the woman wasn't open to being sold.

Now you can't apply this to every woman and every situation. You have to lay bait so to speak and see how they react.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you are recasting so you need to avoid outcome dependency and you need to understand that this is not the ideal scenario.

President confidence is sexy persistent neediness is not.

I'd recimmend you look at it as a challenge, have fun with it, and use it as a learning opportunity.