Asked two girls to the same show

[thirdtimescharm]

Friday morning while emailing to a woman who I am trying to meet from match.com, I asked her to go to see a band next Saturday. Friday night, I had my first date with a woman who I had met at a private bar party the week before, and we were having such a great time that I asked her to go to the same show, and she said yes. So now of course the other the first woman emailed me back and expressed interest in going to the show also.

Since I absolutely want to take the one I dated already to the show, do I:

1) Lie to the one that I have not been out with and tell her I can't make it and try and reschedule.
2) Be honest with her and tell her that I asked someone who I was out with Friday night to go, thereby demonstrating my date-worthiness, and trying to get her to agree to another show another time?
3)Something I have not thought of.

 

[CORVETTE06]

def. not number 2... thats suicide

 

[Andromax]

Tell her you cant make it you dont really need to give a reason, try to reschedule if you want. You dont need to lie if you just tell her you wont be able to. #2 is definately not the way to go.

why do you definately want to take the one you have already been out with? I would think that you want to get that other plate spinning..

 

[aliasguy]

Error

 

[BrokenPath]

I'd just meet both of them there and see which one actually is willing to take the step forward to wanting you. They're not your girlfriend.

Early daters k now this.

I've told the girls i'm dating that i'm dating other girls.

They just fight to be the better one. Like buy me two 40 dollar t shirts from my favorite brand.

You have to do it smooth though, like it's nothing. You also have to let them know that they're not your GF so what are they mad about.

Flip it around. Girls do this **** all the time.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Regarding spinning plates, I'm already working that deal with two other women. With the one that I've been out with already that I want to take to the show, I think she was super cool and don't want to let more than a week go by without seeing her again. She also has a kid, so getting her time is a little more difficult. I think she's also a great "plate" candidate because she is spinning some too, and I have no problem with that. I'm not into spinning plate just because I can though...I want to spin quality plates so I can truly learn about these women and perhaps come up with a better understanding of my own needs in the process.

The first two that I am already seeing already know I am seeing other women, but I didn't pass that info along on the -first- date.

 

[kakashi]

id ring the one you like the most an hour before the supposed date to say "something came up and you can't make it" and u'll "ring her sometime to reschedule"

she'll be blindsided

wait a few days at least and start spinning plates

 

[thirdtimescharm]

kakashi, why would I want to cancel a date with someone who I really want to go out with, and she seems to really want to go out with me? I mean, I know it's game and all, but I have a much better chance of bringing her back to my place if I actually go out with her.

And interestingly enough, when I called her up on Wednesday to confirm, she made a comment about how I had better not be calling to cancel. On the date, I asked her "so nobody cancels a date with you, huh?" and we were playing a little ****y funny on the way to dinner. I think she knows some game herself.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I think the context here is important...I'm over 40, the plates I'm spinning are all between 35 and 40...so the view of a 20 year old is bound to be different than mine.

 

[MooseGod]

I say option 2. Honesty is the best policy. Go for the girl you met in person and hit it off with. Reschedule the internet chick. You don't have to tell her you have another date unless you want to, just say you have a previous social engagement.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Tell her you cant make it you dont really need to give a reason, try to reschedule if you want. You dont need to lie if you just tell her you wont be able to. #2 is definately not the way to go...

I agree. Also, never invite two women to the same event. More specifically, never give out open invitations. You can set yourself up for an ugly situation where both women end up at the same event, one comes with you and the other one decides to "surprise you" by just showing up. Get your confirmation immediately or give it an expiration, that way she'll understand that it's a limited time offer and could be snatched up by a more interested party.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I agree about not inviting multiple women to the same event. It was a AFC move for sure. I told #2 simply that I couldn't make it and want to reschedule.

 

[Outsider]

Tell her you already had plans and that's unfortunate. She'll like you more, so do it to the chick who's hotter.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

They are both equally hot I think...but I'm not going to pass up going out with the one I already know likes me to try and mess with her mind.

 

[Andromax]

but I'm not going to pass up going out with the one I already know likes me to try and mess with her mind.

You're assuming that they wouldn't do this to you. You think that doing that is wrong?

You invited two women, and they both want to go. Why not use the situation to your advantage atleast since you fumbled a bit already.

1. It will increase her interest in you (the one you dated already).
2. You will get to know the other (equally hot) woman.
3. Spending time with the other chick that you dont like as much will keep you from getting too starry eyed with the one that you do like too soon. (one-itis.)

You're going to do what you want regardless, but it's not an evil thing to mess with a chicks head. Infact they love it, they just don't conciously realize it.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

You're assuming that they wouldn't do this to you. You think that doing that is wrong?

No, I don't think it is wrong, but I just wouldn't do it in every situation.

I'm not worried about one-itis. I'm already dating two other women, and with this new one (one very good date), we aren't having phone conversations, text message games, or exchanging emails, and my goal is to keep things that way...we go out, have fun, and see each other next date, with maybe a confirmation call in between. Since I enjoyed her company, and I assume she enjoyed mine, I don't see anything wrong with simply proceeding with plans to go out again without any game between us.

As for the second one, we've been playing email bouncy for a couple of weeks, so there is no guarantee she would have gone at all.

While all that is going on, I have another woman from an online site who I contacted who is interested in having drinks. It isn't like I'm hurting for opportunity playing things the way I have been.

Back to the games...I'd be curious to know if a woman's interest in having her head messed with changes with age. What do you guys think? And answers about women in their 20's doesn't count.