Asked my boss out

[RicBoy]

So my female boss has been quite flirty lately, so I pulled the trigger and sent her a message asking her for drinks over the weekend. She said it was a sudden request and her weekend was full booked. I told her cool to hit me up later when she would be free, she didn’t reply.

That same night she added me on Facebook, I accepted the friend request and sent a flirty message just saying hi more or less. She didn’t reply.

How to act around her now ? Continue flirting or remove my attention and just be polite but distant? And there will be a company party in 2 weeks, ignore her at the party for the most part or make a move ?

I heard 3 years ago she dated a worker in the company by the way.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Given the touchiness of the potential liaison at work, I'd follow her queues for what she considers to be appropriate. Be ready to lose your job when it blows up though.

 

[RicBoy]

Given the touchiness of the potential liaison at work, I'd follow her queues for what she considers to be appropriate. Be ready to lose your job when it blows up though.

You mean let her be the aggressor and pursuer and I just go along with it?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Given the power dynamic at work yes.

You mean let her be the aggressor and pursuer and I just go along with it?

 

[RicBoy]

Given the power dynamic at work yes.

I was thinking to ask her out a second and last time but I’m also afraid if she starts to get pressured my job could be at risk. Maybe I just wait she says something if at all.

 

[devilkingx2]

right now I think you've got to determine if she interested or just attention seeking.

Because usually denying a date with no followup but continuing to flirt over text is a bad sign.

 

[RicBoy]

right now I think you've got to determine if she interested or just attention seeking.

Because usually denying a date with no followup but continuing to flirt over text is a bad sign.

Maybe she isn’t that interested. Weird that she added me on Facebook right after I asked her out tho. She didn’t reply my Facebook msg. Should I remove my attention from her from now on? Just hi and bye at the office. Maybe she come after?

 

[devilkingx2]

Maybe she isn’t that interested. Weird that she added me on Facebook right after I asked her out tho. She didn’t reply my Facebook msg. Should I remove my attention from her from now on? Just hi and bye at the office. Maybe she come after?

considering that she's your boss at work don't do anything that would piss her off. However if she's playing games just don't take her seriously.

 

[Alvafe]

first you shouldn't, too much headache, plus most woman are crazy and things can backfire, but for now just be a pro and act normal

 

[RicBoy]

first you shouldn't, too much headache, plus most woman are crazy and things can backfire, but for now just be a pro and act normal

There’s gonna be a party in 2 weeks. Company party and drinks. Should I make a move on her or just ignore her? She in a way rejected by date invitation

 

[Zimbabwe]

Bang her in every single position make sure you absolutely dominate and humiliate her in thr bedroom full 50 shades of grey style.

 

[RicBoy]

Bang her in every single position make sure you absolutely dominate and humiliate her in thr bedroom full 50 shades of grey style.

I just saw her stories on Facebook she didn’t seem very busy to me. She probably doesn’t want to go out and made up excuse she is busy. Maybe time to forget her

 

[RicBoy]

Guys I need more perspective…should I back off or try to engage in small talk?

 

[SW15]

Back off.

Is this a white collar, office work type job, a retail job/McJob, or a blue collar/manual labor type job? Very few women work blue collar/manual labor so I doubt it is that. In store level retail jobs/McJobs, you could date a direct female supervisor. McJobs and store level retail jobs are essentially meaningless. Tenures are naturally short and those jobs are easily replaceable when shiit hits the fan, which it will do eventually. If you have a white collar, office work type job, you do not want to shiit in your own backyard. Those jobs are never easy to get and are getting more difficult to get now with big economic uncertainties on the horizon. Additionally, white collar work puts men at risk for #MeToo, as HR departments are commonly operated by feminists who are anti-male.

 

[RicBoy]

Back off.

Is this a white collar, office work type job, a retail job/McJob, or a blue collar/manual labor type job? Very few women work blue collar/manual labor so I doubt it is that. In store level retail jobs/McJobs, you could date a direct female supervisor. McJobs and store level retail jobs are essentially meaningless. Tenures are naturally short and those jobs are easily replaceable when shiit hits the fan, which it will do eventually. If you have a white collar, office work type job, you do not want to shiit in your own backyard. Those jobs are never easy to get and are getting more difficult to get now with big economic uncertainties on the horizon. Additionally, white collar work puts men at risk for #MeToo, as HR departments are commonly operated by feminists who are anti-male.

thank you for your input.
its an important job for me and I want to keep it.
Regardless to all i described above I shouldn’t reach out more ? She didn’t reply my last msg. There will be a party coming up in the office and drinks. Should I ignore her now that she rejected me, just hi and bye or try a move on her ? I know I’m idiot for wanting her.

everyone in the office are women, I work in the field.

 

[SW15]

thank you for your input.
its an important job for me and I want to keep it.
Regardless to all i described above I shouldn’t reach out more ? She didn’t reply my last msg. There will be a party coming up in the office and drinks. Should I ignore her now that she rejected me, just hi and bye or try a move on her ? I know I’m idiot for wanting her.

everyone in the office are women, I work in the field.

You need to let this cool off for a while, totally ignore her, and keep all interaction work related.

If you want to have a job that allows you to date co-workers, go work at a retail store, or become a bartender/bouncer.

Fewer men have been finding their relationships through the workplace since the 1990s. Even co-workers aren't playing matchmakers to 2 people working in separate companies as often anymore. Meeting through friends/acquaintances has been declining since circa 1990 but it still produces the best relationships and that's the easiest path to finding one girlfriend if you have a good social network in your home city.

 

[dogsta]

Don't stick your pen in company ink!

Especially as you consider your job important. And it's your boss. Come on, man, get some sense back into your noggin. Sure, there could be pros here if your boss has a soft-spot for you, but, you're playing with fire.

As it stands, based on what you've said, she rejected your approach (a text...). I guess she was just enjoying your attention and having some fun.

Take SW15's advice and back off and keep interactions professional. Have fun at the company do!

 

[jimwho]

its an important job for me and I want to keep it.

You already screwed up. Now "act" normal. Be enjoyable to be around and steer yourself away from the cliff.

 

[corrector]

Use pheromones around her. Try something that gives solid alpha male vibes. You are the boss. Control the frame.

 

[Bokanovsky]

How to act around her now ? Continue flirting or remove my attention and just be polite but distant? And there will be a company party in 2 weeks, ignore her at the party for the most part or make a move ?

Make a move. Get some liquid courage into your system and then come up behind her while she's talking to your co-workers and just start grinding. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?

*DISCLAIMER (because some people don't understand sarcasm): the above is not a serious suggestion. Do not try this at home.

On a more serious note, why on earth would you ask your boss out? You are not a teenager hitting on a shift manager at a sh!tty part-time service industry job. You are 40 years old and presumably have a real career. You should know better.