Ask Me Anything

[Hamurabimbi]

There used to be an unironically good video for this on "the Hub" called "how to eat p****", instructed by p***stars. It's really not a bad place to start, but I don't think it's there anymore. Truth be told, I learned how by practicing on a plate I met as a freshman in college who was waiting for marriage for full sex. She would only blow me, so I figure if there was somebody that I didn't care to lose if I were bad at this, it would be her. Thankfully I turned out to be pretty good.

That said, I think it's more worthwhile to be good at fingering, since you'll likely be doing that more often. Stirling Cooper has a pretty good video on YouTube describing and giving a visualization of how it works, but essentially you want to create the "rock n roll" salute with your hand where the middle finger (and later, the ring finger...remember foreplay is a thing, so ease into it) are inside, while your index and pinky finger are on the outside pointed down. The general idea is to create a "hook" with your middle and ring finger inside of her while leveraging the rest of your arm to move that "hook" up and down inside of her, which will be pressing her g-spot.

Mix it up a little bit with penetration using those fingers, or rubbing her c***, and start off slow, then gradually speed up and insert your ring finger as you feel her get more wet and when she starts having more "vocal" and "animated" reactions to what you're doing. You'll usually know she's done when her legs clench real hard, start spasming, and you'll have a slight warm feeling envelop your fingers. The ONS from Philadelphia I described earlier said it was the hottest thing that I did that to her and stopped when she finished because I knew she had came before she told me.

As far as the sex itself, that's going to be personal preference, and every girl is different. Missionary can be good if you incorporate some choking, have her legs up on your shoulders, a pillow under her butt to go a little deeper, etc. Cowgirl is also good because that lets them really have control over exactly what works best for them. There are some other goodies but my best advice would simply be to take control; pin her arms, physically move her into the position you want her in, choke her, pull her hair, spank her, grab her boobs, let her suck your fingers, do SOMETHING with your hands.

There's a lot of nuance here, but hope I helped. The fingering bit is especially useful.

Most girls I’ve been with want to get to the main course ASAP. However. There have been a fair number that love being fingered. My GF two iterations ago was one. When we were together I went online and accessed some resources about fingering. It made a difference. At one point she complemented me on it. And. TBH. I’m not a huge fingering fan.

 

[BadBoy89]

- I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware
- I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear)
- I would consider myself quite good-looking
- I can and will change the fact that I'm poor and live at home.
- I've slept with 93 women

To make the math Sexy, lets say you started at 22 and slept with 96 women.
96 / 8 = 12 women per year.

So since 2016, you have slept with a new women EVERY MONTH for 8 years while having living with your parents and having NO money.

- I am as a person; honest, upfront, I mean what I say

That's funny, I'm honest and upfront too and they tell me to go to hell.

I'm still semi-regularly visiting and sleeping with her and have received numerous apologies and appreciation from her on how hard I tried to make things work with her, recognizing how difficult she was to me.

You have a hot girl who you are regularly making love to and apologizing to you despite the fact you have no money and live with mom and dad?

Bro you pushed it. Argument collapsed.

 

[BPH]

To make the math Sexy, lets say you started at 22 and slept with 96 women.
96 / 8 = 12 women per year.

So since 2016, you have slept with a new women EVERY MONTH for 8 years while having living with your parents and having NO money.



That's funny, I'm honest and upfront too and they tell me to go to hell.



You have a hot girl who you are regularly making love to and apologizing to you despite the fact you have no money and live with mom and dad?

Bro you pushed it. Argument collapsed.

So I lost my virginity when I was 17, a couple of months from 18, so we can round that to 12 years. 93/12=7.75 so just under 8 new women per year.

Of that number, probably about half came before I graduated college. It was definitely easier then because of the logistics, and everybody's poor so money isn't an issue.

I don't have "no money", I just don't make much at my job because I started with a part-time job that allowed me the flexibility to work on side ventures such as my acting/modeling pursuits, Facebook advertising for local small business, ERC outreach post-pandemic, and what I'm working on now. I started working full-time and through that job I make just under $47k/year. Nowhere near where I want to be, and not great, but I don't have "no money".

As far as my character, I say I'm honest because I don't lie, I don't manipulate, I don't gaslight, and I try to avoid toxicity and drama. The more women I'm with the more often I hear stories about how much the average guy sucks; constantly blowing their phones up, being terrible in bed, going through each other's phones, worrying about the other cheating, showing up unannounced, etc. And I'd say I'm blunt and upfront because I'm too lazy to sugarcoat things for other people - some people don't like that about me, but I don't like some people, so it evens out.

What argument?

Let me see if I have this correct...you think that because I'm poor and live at home with my parents that a hot girl I dated for almost a year wouldn't be willing to continue sleeping with me (at her place, obviously) and wouldn't feel remorse for mistreating me in a toxic relationship where she laments that I'm the only guy to break up with her?

Like I've said before, I do not care whether you believe me. I gain absolutely nothing from it. I'm just here offering to help guys who have the goal of being where I'm at with women; being able to casually sleep with multiple hot women without having to be in committed relationships with them.

You don't have to be here.

 

[SW15]

So I lost my virginity when I was 17, a couple of months from 18, so we can round that to 12 years. 93/12=7.75 so just under 8 new women per year.

Of that number, probably about half came before I graduated college. It was definitely easier then because of the logistics, and everybody's poor so money isn't an issue.

I don't recall ever seeing you comment on this thread below.

You had some good experience in college.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

A good looking guy who is fit and has strong verbal abilities/personality traits would be able to do well at a large public university. Large public universities tend to have some of the best scenes around sex. I think you attended a large public university.

Did you finish college in the standard 4 year time frame or did it take you 5?

I don't have "no money", I just don't make much at my job because I started with a part-time job that allowed me the flexibility to work on side ventures such as my acting/modeling pursuits, Facebook advertising for local small business, ERC outreach post-pandemic, and what I'm working on now. I started working full-time and through that job I make just under $47k/year. Nowhere near where I want to be, and not great, but I don't have "no money".

I used some cost of living calculators as a guide to help me understand your money situation.

Wilmington, DE is in the Northeastern United States. The Northeast has some very high cost of living areas, such as Washington D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, suburban New Jersey, and New York City. Wilmington and Delaware as a whole is likely one of the least expensive areas in that region.

According to the cost of living calculator, Wilmington is more expensive than Dallas, TX. Your $47K is Wilmington is like $43-44K in Dallas. You could easily get an adequate 2 bedroom place in Dallas with a 25-30 year old unmarried guy as a 30 year old unmarried guy in Dallas with $43-44K annual earnings. There's a good chance the situation is the same in Wilmington. Why not live with a random unmarried guy instead of your parents?

 

[BPH]

I don't recall ever seeing you comment on this thread below.

You had some good experience in college.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

A good looking guy who is fit and has strong verbal abilities/personality traits would be able to do well at a large public university. Large public universities tend to have some of the best scenes around sex. I think you attended a large public university.

Did you finish college in the standard 4 year time frame or did it take you 5?



I used some cost of living calculators as a guide to help me understand your money situation.

Wilmington, DE is in the Northeastern United States. The Northeast has some very high cost of living areas, such as Washington D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, suburban New Jersey, and New York City. Wilmington and Delaware as a whole is likely one of the least expensive areas in that region.

According to the cost of living calculator, Wilmington is more expensive than Dallas, TX. Your $47K is Wilmington is like $43-44K in Dallas. You could easily get an adequate 2 bedroom place in Dallas with a 25-30 year old unmarried guy as a 30 year old unmarried guy in Dallas with $43-44K annual earnings. There's a good chance the situation is the same in Wilmington. Why not live with a random unmarried guy instead of your parents?

Yeah, so I went to UNCW for 2 years before transferring back home to UD. I sprained my ankle REALLY bad playing a game of pickup football and had to be taken to the ER to get a boot and crutches - I was told that if I had broken it there would've been a SHORTER healing process. Couldn't really get around for a week or two so one of my parents had to come down and take care of me. After that, they preferred that if something like that happened again that I'd be closer to home, and there was nothing keeping me there at that point.

Because of that, I did graduate in 4 years, but I had to take summer and winter sessions both years to finish on time.

As far as the living situation, I've been reading some money books and I'm debating on doing something more drastic, since my issue might be that I'm juggling my time with my crappy job and don't have enough pressure to make my business work.

I'm sorry I have to bring you this news, but you're a sloot.

On the other hand, I'm probably a bigger sloot than you are, so don't take it as criticism.

Haha none taken, I freely admit to being a manwh***, I chose it after all.

 

[DJProtégèEB]

What's going on, thanks for doing an AMA @BPH .

When it comes to attraction, some 7+ women are insufferable. Could have the best features: ass, tits, face, legs, etc, but I can't stand being around them. It could be their attitude that's off, sometimes it's their personality, other times they are just crazy. As soon as my brain catches wind of the turn offs, "junior" is checked out. So my question is, do you turn that part of the brain off just to get a lay? And if so, how on earth do you do that?

 

[BPH]

What's going on, thanks for doing an AMA @BPH .

When it comes to attraction, some 7+ women are insufferable. Could have the best features: ass, tits, face, legs, etc, but I can't stand being around them. It could be their attitude that's off, sometimes it's their personality, other times they are just crazy. As soon as my brain catches wind of the turn offs, "junior" is checked out. So my question is, do you turn that part of the brain off just to get a lay? And if so, how on earth do you do that?

That's a good one actually...

Yeah if by "'junior' is checked out" you mean you can't get hard, that's one thing - you can't fake attraction.

However, if you're asking whether I'd still try to f*** a woman who I'm attracted to, but not vibing with, then yes.

Mentally I just chalk it up as this woman is for recreational purposes only, and while I may still try to sleep with them in the moment, it doesn't mean I'll revisit them. The plate I mentioned within the last year from Tinder was very attractive, but she talked a LOT...we had a casual FWB relationship and would only have sex once most times I visited, but I would be there for 3+ hours while she talked TO me rather than WITH me. In that case, I had to initiate the sex to remind her why I was there and come up with an excuse to leave to avoid being rude and cutting her off.

Stuff like that does happen, but usually, I try to fixate on a positive, and then after the fact, I try to gauge whether it would be worth going through again. I don't know if this is a useful answer, because it's a hard question to answer as I don't really have a process I default to when I come across something like this. As long as they're not completely insufferable and I'm attracted to them, I'll push through some BS just to find out if it was worth it on the other side.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Do you have BPH?

Is there a SoSuave coupon code for Flomax???

 

[DJProtégèEB]

@BPH I appreciate the answer man!

recreational purposes only

That's where my old blue pill brain crops up. Been trying hard to get out of that old way of thinking; that ALL women want marriage and some nice guy to settle down with. The struggle I have is conveying that to them, that yes, you can give into those sexual urges and not feel like a slut, while still holding that "dream" in the back of your heads.

Do you have any insights on that aspect, after being intimate with them?

 

[BPH]

Is there a SoSuave coupon code for Flomax???

If somebody finds one I'll make it my profile pic.

@BPH I appreciate the answer man!



That's where my old blue pill brain crops up. Been trying hard to get out of that old way of thinking; that ALL women want marriage and some nice guy to settle down with. The struggle I have is conveying that to them, that yes, you can give into those sexual urges and not feel like a slut, while still holding that "dream" in the back of your heads.

Do you have any insights on that aspect, after being intimate with them?

I'm a little confused by your question, are you asking how to convey to a woman that it's ok for her to be a slut with you, while still wanting the nice guy to settle down with at the end?

 

[BoostedArrow]

I'll admit, I'm a little tipsy because I've got my brother visiting and he decided it would be fun to buy a bottle of wine and Tito's to sip this random Tuesday night.

That being said, I figure this might be a good way for some of the newer guys to ask questions they might have about self-improvement and picking up girls. Not so much a "what do I do in THIS situation", but rather a "what do I do in THESE situations" kinda thing. Maybe I'll have some good replies to offer up while I'm here sipping/while I'm at work tomorrow during some quiet time.

Just so you know whom you're asking these questions:

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware. I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear), and I've slept with 93 women if I've kept count properly. I would consider myself quite good-looking, probably around a high 7 or low 8 on a scale of 1-10, depending on whether I'm being compared to guys in my area or guys in places like LA. However, I've only been in committed relationships with 3 of those women, so admittedly I'm not the best at answering relationship/marriage questions. I'm also probably not the best person to ask for financial advice, considering I'm still figuring it out for myself while living at home in this crappy little state.

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

How does one become hot?

 

[BPH]

How does one become hot?

Work out and adopt a healthy diet. Not something you'll do for a little while, but something you can essentially do forever.

I work out 4 times per week for about 60-90 minutes each time, 20 minutes of cardio separate from that 4 times per week as well, and I'll up that to 5x30 when it gets closer to beach season. Don't take shortcuts with this, I'm natural and I would fully suggest staying that way. A lot more people than you think are on "gear", another word for steroids, and other enhancements like tren/SARMs, etc. Unless you plan to compete, I would not risk the health complications of those.

I eat the same 6 foods every day, around the same time every day, and in the same quantity every day. I cheat on occasion, but it's usually a meal rather than a day's worth of bad choices. You don't have to do ALL that, intermittent fasting and a solid workout routine will get you plenty far.

Brush your teeth and floss. I had braces in middle school and I noticed that a lot of people either have f***ed up/yellowed teeth or went and got veneers.

Practice good hygiene; shower, shave, wash your hair, trim your godda** junk.

Don't smoke. I have had 1 or 2 cigars in my life for celebration, never in my life smoked a cigarette, and don't like getting high, so I stick to alcohol. I don't smoke weed or vape, and I've also never had hard drugs and would mostly suggest doing the same. As far as alcohol I mostly take shots of stuff that doesn't have sugar (Captain Morgan, vodkas), and when I'm out and having a mixed drink I'll ask for a diet version of the mix (hilarious I know).

If you have glasses I strongly suggest getting Lasik. I found out I was nearsighted in high school, couldn't get contacts in, and was too embarrassed to wear glasses up until college. Once I graduated, my parents got me the surgery as a gift and it is definitely up there with committing to health and fitness as one of the best decisions I ever made...it is AMAZING to be able to wake up and go to sleep with 20/20 vision. Clearly it didn't impact my notch count in college having glasses, but I love not needing them. Girls used to think it was funny/cute when we would be making out because they knew once I took the glasses off that it was going to "get serious".

 

[Hamurabimbi]

How does one become hot?

Hot parents.

 

[BPH]

You have a hot girl who you are regularly making love to and apologizing to you despite the fact you have no money and live with mom and dad?

This happened again last night, by the way, thought you might like to know.

On a serious note, why haven't you moved out from your parents house? Have they told you anything?

I don't know how yo do it honestly, but I couldn't wait to get my first job after graduation to move thr fvck out of my parents house and live by my own rules.

Well, that's kinda what I did initially. I worked at a mortgage lender for a year after being referred by a fraternity brother who was working there already. Really nice office, good starting pay, and a lot of young guys making good money after spending some time there.

Very quickly learned it was a churn & burn kinda thing; within the first year, more than 2/3 of my new hire class had been laid off. Ironically, I was one of the lucky few because myself and this other guy were kept on board in a different department after narrowly failing our licensing exam, but were retained because we had done well on every other part of the education process and were generally well-liked.

I ended up quitting that job after a year because my lease was up for renewal and I wasn't confident I could stay on board with this company another year.

So that's when I ended up moving back home. Since then I had worked a part-time job while I pursued other things like modeling/acting, Facebook advertising for local businesses, dropshipping, etc. I had only somewhat recently started working full-time at my job since I need the money, but I'm still here because I want to be able to move out and STAY OUT this time.

My brother recently got fired from his job in New York, so he's currently unemployed, my sister basically disowned our family last year (she has her own mental issues), and neither of my parents are able to retire right now - unfortunately, I am now the highest earner in my immediate family - which isn't great, obviously. So I'm trying to figure it out. There's nobody that we know personally that's making a LOT of money, so mentorship isn't a thing, leading me to seek it out elsewhere online and through some paid communities. Everything I see when I look at people who make a lot of money advises starting and growing a business that's yours, rather than trying to get rich as an employee for someone else, so I'm working on that.

As far as living at home goes; my mom is a gem and just loves having me nearby, she herself lived at home with her parents for quite some time, although that was a different generation. She's always had faith in all her kids; she knows I hate my situation and believes I'll make it, and that it's just a matter of time. My dad doesn't love it but he doesn't give me too much s*** about it. Sometimes he gives me some passive aggressive half-jokes, but I think he realizes that I'm not happy about the situation I'm in either.

 

[hellonwheels]

This happened again last night, by the way, thought you might like to know.



Well, that's kinda what I did initially. I worked at a mortgage lender for a year after being referred by a fraternity brother who was working there already. Really nice office, good starting pay, and a lot of young guys making good money after spending some time there.

Very quickly learned it was a churn & burn kinda thing; within the first year, more than 2/3 of my new hire class had been laid off. Ironically, I was one of the lucky few because myself this other guy were kept on board in a different department after narrowly failing our licensing exam, but were retained because we had done well on every other part of the education process and were generally well-liked.

I ended up quitting that job after a year because my lease was up for renewal and I wasn't confident I could stay on board with this company another year.

So that's when I ended up moving back home. Since then I had worked a part-time job while I pursued other things like modeling/acting, Facebook advertising for local businesses, dropshipping, etc. I had only somewhat recently started working full-time at my job since I need the money, but I'm still here because I want to be able to move out and STAY OUT this time.

My brother recently got fired from his job in New York, so he's currently unemployed, my sister basically disowned our family last year (she has her own mental issues), and neither of my parents are able to retire right now - unfortunately, I am now the highest earner in my immediate family - which isn't great, obviously. So I'm trying to figure it out. There's nobody that we know personally that's making a LOT of money, so mentorship isn't a thing, leading me to seek it out elsewhere online and through some paid communities. Everything I see when I look at people who make a lot of money advises starting and growing a business that's yours, rather than trying to get rich as an employee for someone else, so I'm working on that.

As far as living at home goes; my mom is a gem and just loves having me nearby, she herself lived at home with her parents for quite some time, although that was a different generation. She's always had faith in all her kids; she knows I hate my situation and believes I'll make it, and that it's just a matter of time. My dad doesn't love it but he doesn't give me too much s*** about it. Sometimes he gives me some passive aggressive half-jokes, but I think he realizes that I'm not happy about the situation I'm in either.

Man I’d rather live in a dump than with my parents, just the sheer principal of it would make me feel like a loser and effect every other part of my life.

It can make sense if short term and saving for a house or whatever. But after 18, it’s time to grow up and take care of yourself. Everything about your posts shows you’ve accepted the situation too long, or fear is holding you back.

 

[BPH]

Man I’d rather live in a dump than with my parents, just the sheer principal of it would make me feel like a loser and effect every other part of my life.

It can make sense if short term and saving for a house or whatever. But after 18, it’s time to grow up and take care of yourself. Everything about your posts shows you’ve accepted the situation too long, or fear is holding you back.

I would say my fear is that I move out and can't afford to stay out again.

I'm happy with almost all other aspects of my life, aside from where I am financially.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I'll admit, I'm a little tipsy because I've got my brother visiting and he decided it would be fun to buy a bottle of wine and Tito's to sip this random Tuesday night.

That being said, I figure this might be a good way for some of the newer guys to ask questions they might have about self-improvement and picking up girls. Not so much a "what do I do in THIS situation", but rather a "what do I do in THESE situations" kinda thing. Maybe I'll have some good replies to offer up while I'm here sipping/while I'm at work tomorrow during some quiet time.

Just so you know whom you're asking these questions:

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware. I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear), and I've slept with 93 women if I've kept count properly. I would consider myself quite good-looking, probably around a high 7 or low 8 on a scale of 1-10, depending on whether I'm being compared to guys in my area or guys in places like LA. However, I've only been in committed relationships with 3 of those women, so admittedly I'm not the best at answering relationship/marriage questions. I'm also probably not the best person to ask for financial advice, considering I'm still figuring it out for myself while living at home in this crappy little state.

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

"you gotta break some eggs to make an omellete. im sure i creeped out tons of girls over the years".

That was a powerful quote or statement I heard from another guy, a dating coach, who gives advice to men, it's in regards to men getting better at just approaching or interacting with women. I just want to be sure I interpret it or have the right mindset and that is, men even have to risk getting labeled creepy or just even screw up and mess up interactions, that results in getting negative reactions from women as in the woman is uncomfortable from the man's presence, makes her feel uncomfortable As in its part of the journey of getting better, do I have the right mindset or not?

"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

so is making mistakes socially with women, as in, getting labeled or perceived as creepy or weird when approaching, messing up interactions in which the woman was uncomfortable, is that part of the process of getting better? was the ever the case for you or guys you knew? Do i have the right mindset, right perspective or not?

Was that ever the case for you with approaching women?

 

[BPH]

"you gotta break some eggs to make an omellete. im sure i creeped out tons of girls over the years".

That was a powerful quote or statement I heard from another guy, a dating coach, who gives advice to men, it's in regards to men getting better at just approaching or interacting with women. I just want to be sure I interpret it or have the right mindset and that is, men even have to risk getting labeled creepy or just even screw up and mess up interactions, that results in getting negative reactions from women as in the woman is uncomfortable from the man's presence, makes her feel uncomfortable As in its part of the journey of getting better, do I have the right mindset or not?

"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

so is making mistakes socially with women, as in, getting labeled or perceived as creepy or weird when approaching, messing up interactions in which the woman was uncomfortable, is that part of the process of getting better? was the ever the case for you or guys you knew? Do i have the right mindset, right perspective or not?

Was that ever the case for you with approaching women?

Short answer, yes.

If you've never approached women before, you shouldn't expect to be good at it. Your first time in the gym you won't know how all the machines work. Your first time driving a car you won't know what every button on the dashboard does. This is no different.

Have I done or said some absolutely cringeworthy sh** in the pursuit of women? You best believe it. But that's part of the process because I believe the best way to get good at something is to do it so many times that it becomes unreasonable for you to be bad at it.

The first time you approach a woman?

You're nervous, maybe you're sweating a little bit. You're trying to remember your line while speaking slowly enough that you're not stammering or rushing. You're focusing so much on trying to look for "IOIs", "kinoing properly" or "remembering to neg" so much that you're not even listening to the conversation. You can't make direct eye contact for too long, or maybe you're focusing so much on making eye contact that you're forgetting everything else, you fill awkward silences with "umm"s or try to come up with random open-ended questions because you read somewhere not to ask her things that she can only answer "yes" or "no" with.

The 1000th time approaching a woman?

You're relaxed, maybe you're enjoying your night out and just want to see how things might go with this person. You don't have to try and remember lines because you don't use them; you're naturally witty, funny, and can keep a conversation going without feeling like you have to force it. You can look her in the eyes, smile, flirt, and you're not mentally checking off boxes because you've done this enough times that you assume her interest unless she's shown you she's not - which is, again, something you'll know in the first couple of seconds just by going up to her.

These are things you will learn by doing, not reading about. When I got started I read a bunch of material on here, asked for advice, and had people "mentor" me who were nowhere near qualified. But I didn't really make progress until I started going out and just making mistakes.

As far as not being labeled a creep?

It is well documented in my journal that I did NOT start approaching these girls in my immediate area - specifically because if/when I f***ed up, I didn't want that reputation attached to me. I live in a small area, and being known as "the guy who hits on every girl" isn't a great thing when you're known for doing so unsuccessfully. I started out on the boardwalk at our family timeshare, or at the local mall.

So in that aspect, yeah you're probably gonna have some girls think you're creepy, which is expected since you don't know what you're doing. And for that reason I fully endorse going a little out of your way so you're not running into the same people and developing a bad reputation while you're in your learning phase.

 

[BadBoy89]

So I lost my virginity when I was 17, a couple of months from 18, so we can round that to 12 years. 93/12=7.75 so just under 8 new women per year.

OK so for last 12 years, you've slept with a new women every 1.5 months. That's impressive, guys on here can't sleep with a new woman every 6 months, let alone year.

I don't have "no money", I just don't make much at my job because I started with a part-time job that allowed me the flexibility to work on side ventures such as my acting/modeling pursuits, Facebook advertising for local small business, ERC outreach post-pandemic, and what I'm working on now. I started working full-time and through that job I make just under $47k/year. Nowhere near where I want to be, and not great, but I don't have "no money".

OK. So when you say "acting/modeling pursuits", the game changes . You are not normal looks, you are very good looking. You did say it in OP but when you talk about acting and modeling, its a different ballgame. Plus, you are 6'0. That changes the game alot too.

As far as my character, I say I'm honest because I don't lie, I don't manipulate, I don't gaslight, and I try to avoid toxicity and drama. The more women I'm with the more often I hear stories about how much the average guy sucks; constantly blowing their phones up, being terrible in bed, going through each other's phones, worrying about the other cheating, showing up unannounced, etc. And I'd say I'm blunt and upfront because I'm too lazy to sugarcoat things for other people - some people don't like that about me, but I don't like some people, so it evens out.

Come on bro, don't try to say girls fall in love with you because you "honest" and "don't manipulate". The average guy doesn't lie or manipulate, he's not a jerk, but gets nowhere with the hot girls because of his physical attributes. You are trying to downplay your physical attributes and up play the virtuous stuff. That works with older women, but with younger women, they could care less.

I hear stories about how much the average guy sucks; constantly blowing their phones up, being terrible in bed, going through each other's phones, worrying about the other cheating, showing up unannounced, etc

That is not an average guy. That is a lunatic.

Average guy is under 6'0, normal job, normal looks, regular clothes, regular home.

you think that because I'm poor and live at home with my parents that a hot girl I dated for almost a year wouldn't be willing to continue sleeping with me (at her place, obviously) and wouldn't feel remorse for mistreating me in a toxic relationship where she laments that I'm the only guy to break up with her?

You are poor, do not have a place of your own, and a hot girl is crying because she is mistreating you, and you are the only guy who has broken up with her?

OK, so either you are giving her the best sex in the Western World, or the girl is really really young. And she can't be that young because she has a place of her own. It's illogical to think a 25+ year old woman with her own job and own place would be crying that a guy with no job, no money, and no place of his own broke up with her. What would she be missing? You cant' buy her anything, you can't drive her anywhere, you can't go anywhere with her. So its got to be the sex. Which, if it is, its strange in itself, because any hot girl under 30 could get any guy she wants if she snaps her fingers.

Like I've said before, I do not care whether you believe me. I gain absolutely nothing from it. I'm just here offering to help guys who have the goal of being where I'm at with women; being able to casually sleep with multiple hot women without having to be in committed relationships with them.

You may be telling truth. It's just a little hard to take when you are 30, have no place of your own and no money. Girls start to wake up around 25-26 ish.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Short answer, yes.

If you've never approached women before, you shouldn't expect to be good at it. Your first time in the gym you won't know how all the machines work. Your first time driving a car you won't know what every button on the dashboard does. This is no different.

Have I done or said some absolutely cringeworthy sh** in the pursuit of women? You best believe it. But that's part of the process because I believe the best way to get good at something is to do it so many times that it becomes unreasonable for you to be bad at it.

The first time you approach a woman?

You're nervous, maybe you're sweating a little bit. You're trying to remember your line while speaking slowly enough that you're not stammering or rushing. You're focusing so much on trying to look for "IOIs", "kinoing properly" or "remembering to neg" so much that you're not even listening to the conversation. You can't make direct eye contact for too long, or maybe you're focusing so much on making eye contact that you're forgetting everything else, you fill awkward silences with "umm"s or try to come up with random open-ended questions because you read somewhere not to ask her things that she can only answer "yes" or "no" with.

The 1000th time approaching a woman?

You're relaxed, maybe you're enjoying your night out and just want to see how things might go with this person. You don't have to try and remember lines because you don't use them; you're naturally witty, funny, and can keep a conversation going without feeling like you have to force it. You can look her in the eyes, smile, flirt, and you're not mentally checking off boxes because you've done this enough times that you assume her interest unless she's shown you she's not - which is, again, something you'll know in the first couple of seconds just by going up to her.

These are things you will learn by doing, not reading about. When I got started I read a bunch of material on here, asked for advice, and had people "mentor" me who were nowhere near qualified. But I didn't really make progress until I started going out and just making mistakes.

As far as not being labeled a creep?

It is well documented in my journal that I did NOT start approaching these girls in my immediate area - specifically because if/when I f***ed up, I didn't want that reputation attached to me. I live in a small area, and being known as "the guy who hits on every girl" isn't a great thing when you're known for doing so unsuccessfully. I started out on the boardwalk at our family timeshare, or at the local mall.

So in that aspect, yeah you're probably gonna have some girls think you're creepy, which is expected since you don't know what you're doing. And for that reason I fully endorse going a little out of your way so you're not running into the same people and developing a bad reputation while you're in your learning phase.

yeah for me its not rejection that hurts, its the way that it happens that has the biggest affect on me, if i feel i have made a woman uncomfortable or if i violated her boundaries, get thrown the C word, it hurts and its embarassing, it makes me and i'm sure tons of other guys in the world, feel very stupid.

Overall, i just want to make sure i have the right mindset, right perspective on this, is the risk of getting labeled or perceived as weird, creepy, messing up interactions that result in women calling me that or viewing me is that, is that just part of the process or journey of getting better, as in, messing up or making mistakes like that is part of the journey of getting better?

to sum it up, you are saying you have been labeled or thought of as creepy or weird for approaching women, or even accidentally made women feel uncomfortable from approaching, and it was part of the journey for you getting better?