Ask Me Anything

[BPH]

I'll admit, I'm a little tipsy because I've got my brother visiting and he decided it would be fun to buy a bottle of wine and Tito's to sip this random Tuesday night.

That being said, I figure this might be a good way for some of the newer guys to ask questions they might have about self-improvement and picking up girls. Not so much a "what do I do in THIS situation", but rather a "what do I do in THESE situations" kinda thing. Maybe I'll have some good replies to offer up while I'm here sipping/while I'm at work tomorrow during some quiet time.

Just so you know whom you're asking these questions:

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware. I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear), and I've slept with 93 women if I've kept count properly. I would consider myself quite good-looking, probably around a high 7 or low 8 on a scale of 1-10, depending on whether I'm being compared to guys in my area or guys in places like LA. However, I've only been in committed relationships with 3 of those women, so admittedly I'm not the best at answering relationship/marriage questions. I'm also probably not the best person to ask for financial advice, considering I'm still figuring it out for myself while living at home in this crappy little state.

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

 

[SW15]

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware. I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear), and I've slept with 93 women if I've kept count properly.

However, I've only been in committed relationships with 3 of those women, so admittedly I'm not the best at answering relationship/marriage questions

I have said before that based on these two sentences that you have a case for being the best seducer on this board. Your lifetime achievements in seduction are quite solid.

Your notch count currently stands at 93.

How many notches have you put up in 2023-2024? It seems like your notch count has slowed in the last 16 months.

 

[Clockwerk50]

You invite a girl to your house after a date. Let's say swimming. This is your first time with her. Now both of you are sitting on the couch scrolling Netflix or listening to music. What do you say or what is your step to step guide from the moment you sit on the couch to get her naked and you pull your **** out?

 

[NealIRC]

Do women ever approach you?

 

[NealIRC]

Why would I need to ask something to someone who is 30 and still lives in their parents basement?

Because he can still pull women. Unless this is an economic/finance Q&A.

 

[BPH]

Well, the 2:30AM slightly tipsy version of me thought this would be a much more interesting idea than it turned out to be.

Oh well, I'll stick with it and see how I can help.

I have said before that based on these two sentences that you have a case for being the best seducer on this board. Your lifetime achievements in seduction are quite solid.

Your notch count currently stands at 93.

How many notches have you put up in 2023-2024? It seems like your notch count has slowed in the last 16 months.

It definitely has. I've gone out less, tried to save more, and my main concern is making something work on the financial side of things so I can move out of my parent's and stay out this time. Post COVID a lot of spots that were good for meeting women now aren't, girls on dating apps tend to either be bots or quite literally match with whoever they swipe right on, and I'm probably a little too old to be at the college bars now (my age seemed to be an issue 2 or 3 years ago, so it's definitely not better now). Plus I don't live close to any good spots, so just to have the CHANCE to run into somebody cute requires a good bit of traveling and time investment, beyond the cost of bars and drinks.

That said, off the top of my head I can think of 4 notches I added over the course of the last year and a half; a girl that I've known since college who had recently become single when I was at the beach for my vacation, a girl from Tinder who I'd matched with a few times but never did a good job following up until this year because she was on and off with another guy from the year before, a random Bumble match from Philadelphia, and a girl who had recently turned 21 at the bar when we met around Halloween.

Outside of that I'd had semi-regular sex with my ex and recently had an old plate become single again and hit me up the day before my birthday NY trip. Almost turned her down because I was expecting to either bang my ex or a random in NY that weekend, glad I didn't since that ended up being a dry weekend.

You invite a girl to your house after a date. Let's say swimming. This is your first time with her. Now both of you are sitting on the couch scrolling Netflix or listening to music. What do you say or what is your step to step guide from the moment you sit on the couch to get her naked and you pull your **** out?

This is a hard question to answer because there are a lot of nonverbal cues and leading up to this that definitely matter when it comes to how far you can push things...

Is it daytime or night time? Are you both loosened up (had a couple drinks, been flirty in the pool, touchy, conversation isn't forced, etc)? Is she sitting close to you or is there some distance? There's a LOT of "setup" here.

But basically I'd probably sit on the couch, put my arm around her. If she leans towards me, great. Watch the movie for a little bit, then during a quiet moment (probably NOT going to get her attention during a particularly action or emotional scene if she seems to actually be invested in it) I'd hook her chin and bring her to me for a kiss. Depending on how receptive or "into it" she is, keep escalating from there.

Be touchy but don't immediately start going for bases; neck kisses, pulling her hair at the nape of her neck, BE A GOOD KISSER. Like make it a point to be good at this stuff...my plate that hit me up before my birthday, she said I was her favorite...the girl from Bumble in Philadelphia said she usually has to fake it when I got her off with just my fingers...like put some effort into pleasing your girl, and if you don't know how, look up how.

Anyway...continue escalating, hit the bases over the clothes, then under the clothes, obviously only if she's receptive. Take off her clothes FIRST, and if all that is smooth sailing only then do you pull your sh** out (unless she rushes to pull it out for you, in which case you've got a green light).

Obviously if she's not receptive to any of this you can slow down and recalibrate to ease into things, but don't be pushy or forceful if she's not down.

Do women ever approach you?

Yep, but it's not too common and it's often not the women that I'm attracted too, but I'm always nice and try to let them down easy if that's the case. The thai girl in NY from my recent post opened me - came up to me and told me I was handsome. I thought the guy with her was her man, but she cut out the middleman from there.

Why would I need to ask something to someone who is 30 and still lives in their parents basement?

I'm also probably not the best person to ask for financial advice, considering I'm still figuring it out for myself while living at home in this crappy little state.

Don't believe everything you read online, kid.

You don't have to believe me, I've got nothing to prove here. I'm just offering to help some of the guys that have questions about this stuff because while I'm not the best with relationships or money, there's not a lot of people I know who sleep around with attractive women as often as I do - anybody I know with a high notch count sleeps with whoever they can, whether that be a 7 or a 3, and anybody I know who sleeps with an attractive woman has been exclusively dating her for several years.

 

[Knight of Roses]

I'll admit, I'm a little tipsy because I've got my brother visiting and he decided it would be fun to buy a bottle of wine and Tito's to sip this random Tuesday night.

That being said, I figure this might be a good way for some of the newer guys to ask questions they might have about self-improvement and picking up girls. Not so much a "what do I do in THIS situation", but rather a "what do I do in THESE situations" kinda thing. Maybe I'll have some good replies to offer up while I'm here sipping/while I'm at work tomorrow during some quiet time.

Just so you know whom you're asking these questions:

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware. I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear), and I've slept with 93 women if I've kept count properly. I would consider myself quite good-looking, probably around a high 7 or low 8 on a scale of 1-10, depending on whether I'm being compared to guys in my area or guys in places like LA. However, I've only been in committed relationships with 3 of those women, so admittedly I'm not the best at answering relationship/marriage questions. I'm also probably not the best person to ask for financial advice, considering I'm still figuring it out for myself while living at home in this crappy little state.

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

As someone who was a nerd growing up and then went to Medical School, I never had emphasis on my physique. I was still landing girls without a good body. But I feel like as I try to up my notch level into the high 9's/10's, alot of the guys competing against me have great bodies.

So question: How much do you think you're being ripped helps you get girls. Does it matter? Does it matter in the beginning or only when the clothes are off and you're in the bedroom?

 

[BPH]

As someone who was a nerd growing up and then went to Medical School, I never had emphasis on my physique. I was still landing girls without a good body. But I feel like as I try to up my notch level into the high 9's/10's, alot of the guys competing against me have great bodies.

So question: How much do you think you're being ripped helps you get girls. Does it matter? Does it matter in the beginning or only when the clothes are off and you're in the bedroom?

I think my being ripped helps me get girls because it's a visual representation of discipline. I've got what most people would call a strict diet and exercise routine - I recently had a random Verizon store worker compliment my physique, as well as a regular that I see at my gym assumed that I was on steroids.

Plus yes, it's nice to see your girl light up, or actually tell you how hot you are once you take off your clothes to f*** them for the first time.

However, while I think it's infinitely better than NOT being in shape, I don't think it's as big a selling point as people might believe. I think being tall is a much more significant bonus than being in good shape. A lot more guys are in shape than there are guys who are 6'5".

I had a friend who's now married that is 6'7". He's a nice white guy in good shape, decently handsome, but who has crippling anxiety when talking with women to the point where he has to be hammered to initiate, but I would routinely see women staring and smiling up at him in awe whenever we went out to the bars.

Therefore what I think matters most is having the self-confidence to cold approach and make the first move for the women you're interested in. Very few women will approach a man they want, in the hopes that the man will approach THEM instead. I watched friends and other guys my age sleep with whatever women chose them, rather than the other way around. I wanted to choose, so I got good at talking to the women I chose.

 

[SW15]

How many notches have you put up in 2023-2024? It seems like your notch count has slowed in the last 16 months.

I can think of 4 notches I added over the course of the last year and a half; a girl that I've known since college who had recently become single when I was at the beach for my vacation, a girl from Tinder who I'd matched with a few times but never did a good job following up until this year because she was on and off with another guy from the year before, a random Bumble match from Philadelphia, and a girl who had recently turned 21 at the bar when we met around Halloween.

Outside of that I'd had semi-regular sex with my ex and recently had an old plate become single again and hit me up the day before my birthday NY trip. Almost turned her down because I was expecting to either bang my ex or a random in NY that weekend, glad I didn't since that ended up being a dry weekend.

4 notches in a 1.5 year period is decent. If it were only 4 one night stands/short term sexual arrangement with long dry spells included, it would look less impressive. I believe frequency of sex is a more important metric than total notch count. You did mention semi-regular sex with an ex as part of this.

Your total notch count of 93 is impressive. How do you feel like you're doing with frequency of sex since 2017? That's 3 pre-COVID years + 4.5 year COVID years.

 

[SW15]

I think matters most is having the self-confidence to cold approach and make the first move for the women you're interested in. Very few women will approach a man they want, in the hopes that the man will approach THEM instead. I watched friends and other guys my age sleep with whatever women chose them, rather than the other way around. I wanted to choose, so I got good at talking to the women I chose.

I think initiating the interaction has a lot of importance. Your take on this is accurate.

Women need to have interest as well. For you, this happens because you got good at talking to women you chose. You had the looks part going on and getting good at talking was personality. I have often said that Game is a combination of looks, money, status, and personality. You've done well with looks and personality. Looks are #1, especially up until a man hits his mid-30s.

 

[LeatherBackpack]

Hi, Super-Newb™️ here - thanks for doing the AMA.

My Q is regarding girls touching their hair. Is it completely debunked as an IOI? Of course there are a million reasons why you would touch it, I just notice sometimes when I'm entering pubs/clubs girls standing outside will clock me and start stroking away.

I get very self conscious because I assume they have spotted my dodgy haircut and are just double checking their own hair isn't all mussed up. Cheers!

 

[BPH]

4 notches in a 1.5 year period is decent. If it were only 4 one night stands/short term sexual arrangement with long dry spells included, it would look less impressive. I believe frequency of sex is a more important metric than total notch count. You did mention semi-regular sex with an ex as part of this.

Your total notch count of 93 is impressive. How do you feel like you're doing with frequency of sex since 2017? That's 3 pre-COVID years + 4.5 year COVID years.

The longest dry spell I ever had was 4 months, but that was when I was in high school after losing my virginity.

The longest one I had in recent memory was probably about 2 months, and that was around the time of last year's Super Bowl. Of the 4 that I mentioned, 2 were one-night stands (though 1 may end up not being that, depending on her relationship status by the time she comes down to the beach since she's always there the same week I am), 1 I ended up revisiting once and then stopped pursuing, and the last was a plate for a little while, but she decided she wanted some more serious than what I was offering so she started looking for that elsewhere.

Beyond that, semi-regular sex with the ex and that other plate I saw the week of my birthday. The ex is really great in bed, and the fact that it's just a FWB kind of arrangement makes things more enjoyable since I'm not emotionally invested in her - though she has been going through therapy since our breakup and she's been very appreciative of the fact that I tried to make things work with her as long as I did while she was going through her personal issues.

The other plate I'd seen for a while, but it became a little one-sided when I started hitting her up, she would say it's too late because she had work or school in the morning, and wouldn't hit me up in response. So I just stopped. Now that she's newly single she seems interested in revisiting that.

Hi, Super-Newb™️ here - thanks for doing the AMA.

My Q is regarding girls touching their hair. Is it completely debunked as an IOI? Of course there are a million reasons why you would touch it, I just notice sometimes when I'm entering pubs/clubs girls standing outside will clock me and start stroking away.

I get very self conscious because I assume they have spotted my dodgy haircut and are just double checking their own hair isn't all mussed up. Cheers!

I wouldn't overthink it. I don't think girls put out of a lot of IOIs consciously, and they usually aren't overt, so rather than look for "this one thing" I would suggest looking for a lot of things happening at once.

Is she staring back at you? Is she holding eye contact? Is she smiling at you? When you're talking to her is she separating herself from her friends? Is she checking her phone or looking around the room rather than listening to you?

The easiest way to cut through all this "is she interested" BS is to just go up and talk to her. Sometimes if I catch a girl looking at me I'll even incorporate it into my opener, like "hey, so were you just gonna stare at me all night or were you gonna say hi?"

Some of the best lays I've had involved me opening sets that I thought would be losing situations, but decided "f*** it, let's see what happens". It's one of those "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" kind of things.

There was a girl I met in Atlantic City several years ago, she was with her friend, I had made out with a different girl earlier that night, and my shirt was missing buttons because a jealous guy friend saw the make out and ripped it open trying to fight me. I was drunk, my friends had left, and there were these 2 hot girls, either of which I'd be happy with, but they were with guys so I went over and said "ok, so who is who's boyfriend here". The one who was single I ended up dating after a couple weekends of visiting her.

They gave me no IOIs and probably didn't know I was there until I came up to them. So just try.

 

[Murk]

I figure this might be a good way for some of the newer guys to ask questions they might have about self-improvement and picking up girls.

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware.

Bro, why don't you sit this one out.

Your notch count currently stands at 93.

How many notches have you put up in 2023-2024? It seems like your notch count has slowed in the last 16 months.

I'm at 60+ total and this year 4 so far (broke up with ex in Jan).

It means nothing, what quality of female is this basement dweller (no offence) getting? He's not smashing dime pieces that's for sure. If we want a thread on plucking low hanging fruit we should make a whole sub forum for labeled "Just getting by".

We want dimes that make us not want to cheat. We bag females with options. Own place, own car, own business or 100k+ p/y is the requirement. That's what I'm currently on.

We can all smash a 5 or a 7.

 

[BPH]

Bro, why don't you sit this one out.


I'm at 60+ total and this year 4 so far (broke up with ex in Jan).

It means nothing, what quality of female is this basement dweller (no offence) getting? He's not smashing dime pieces that's for sure. If we want a thread on plucking low hanging fruit we should make a whole sub forum for labeled "Just getting by".

We want dimes that make us not want to cheat. We bag females with options. Own place, own car, own business or 100k+ p/y is the requirement. That's what I'm currently on.

We can all smash a 5 or a 7.

I really...and I cannot stress this enough...REALLY don't give a s*** whether you believe my notch count, quality of woman I sleep with, etc.

You don't have to be here.

Just because I'm not good at EVERYTHING (really just finances IMO), doesn't mean I'm not good at ANYTHING.

I am not offering advice to get you rich. I am not offering advice to maintain a happy marriage. But I routinely sleep with multiple attractive women on a casual basis and have been doing so since I lost my virginity - I would think that's made MORE impressive by the fact that I'm poor and live with my parents in a drive-thru state, not less.

So the guys looking for help with THAT, I think I have something to offer.

I'm not going to potentially get in trouble for photoshopping these chicks into these threads to prove to you I sleep around or that these chicks are attractive. My reaction score and message count should show you that I do not care to try and impress people over the internet that I'll likely never meet.

Like I said earlier, I have nothing to prove. If you don't have a question that's fine, you can leave.

 

[Murk]

I really...and I cannot stress this enough...REALLY don't give a s*** whether you believe my notch count, quality of woman I sleep with, etc.

You don't have to be here.

Just because I'm not good at EVERYTHING (really just finances IMO), doesn't mean I'm not good at ANYTHING.

I am not offering advice to get you rich. I am not offering advice to maintain a happy marriage. But I routinely sleep with multiple attractive women on a casual basis and have been doing so since I lost my virginity - I would think that's made MORE impressive by the fact that I'm poor and live with my parents in a drive-thru state, not less.

So the guys looking for help with THAT, I think I have something to offer.

I'm not going to potentially get in trouble for photoshopping these chicks into these threads to prove to you I sleep around or that these chicks are attractive. My reaction score and message count should show you that I do not care to try and impress people over the internet that I'll likely never meet.

Like I said earlier, I have nothing to prove. If you don't have a question that's fine, you can leave.

You've misunderstood me, I believe your notch count, but I doubt the quality of girls you're slaying given your circumstances. I also smashed to chicks while poor, you just can't get them to stay.

 

[RickTheToad]

I'll admit, I'm a little tipsy because I've got my brother visiting and he decided it would be fun to buy a bottle of wine and Tito's to sip this random Tuesday night.

That being said, I figure this might be a good way for some of the newer guys to ask questions they might have about self-improvement and picking up girls. Not so much a "what do I do in THIS situation", but rather a "what do I do in THESE situations" kinda thing. Maybe I'll have some good replies to offer up while I'm here sipping/while I'm at work tomorrow during some quiet time.

Just so you know whom you're asking these questions:

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware. I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear), and I've slept with 93 women if I've kept count properly. I would consider myself quite good-looking, probably around a high 7 or low 8 on a scale of 1-10, depending on whether I'm being compared to guys in my area or guys in places like LA. However, I've only been in committed relationships with 3 of those women, so admittedly I'm not the best at answering relationship/marriage questions. I'm also probably not the best person to ask for financial advice, considering I'm still figuring it out for myself while living at home in this crappy little state.

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

Do you have BPH?

 

[BPH]

You've misunderstood me, I believe your notch count, but I doubt the quality of girls you're slaying given your circumstances. I also smashed to chicks while poor, you just can't get them to stay.

You can have that doubt, that's fine.

Living at home and not making great money is really not a huge factor, I just don't ever bring them to my place. It's not information I lead with, obviously, but I also don't pretend I'm something I'm not - when girls ask to go to my place I'm honest with them and tell them I live with family. Sometimes that's a problem, sometimes it's not, and I just go to theirs.

My ex was very hot by most accounts, and she regularly had guys offering to fly her out, pay for trips, buy her things, etc. I couldn't do that, so I didn't try to compete with that, and I was upfront about that. She makes very good money and didn't mind that about me because she knows I wasn't content with where I was at, and the fact that I'm at home was temporary.

What ISN'T temporary is who I am as a person; honest, upfront, I mean what I say, I'm appreciative when people show me effort and do my best to return it, I'm not weird blowing her phone up, I'm not jealous, and I'm able to walk away. Granted, that relationship became incredibly toxic and I wasn't well equipped for that, which is well documented here on this forum - but I'm still semi-regularly visiting and sleeping with her and have received numerous apologies and appreciation from her on how hard I tried to make things work with her, recognizing how difficult she was to me.

I can and will change the fact that I'm poor and live at home. But I've had high standards my entire life and if things were out of reach for me in my current position, I would improve myself to get there rather than settle for whatever was available for me where I'm at.

And just to circle back to the original point, I'm fine with them not staying, I'm not in a position, financially or mentally, where I'm looking to settle down and start a family. I am perfectly content with casual sex with a variety of women.

Do you have BPH?

Thankfully no. BPH is my initials. Didn't even know it was a medical condition.

 

[LeatherBackpack]

The longest dry spell I ever had was 4 months, but that was when I was in high school after losing my virginity.

The longest one I had in recent memory was probably about 2 months, and that was around the time of last year's Super Bowl. Of the 4 that I mentioned, 2 were one-night stands (though 1 may end up not being that, depending on her relationship status by the time she comes down to the beach since she's always there the same week I am), 1 I ended up revisiting once and then stopped pursuing, and the last was a plate for a little while, but she decided she wanted some more serious than what I was offering so she started looking for that elsewhere.

Beyond that, semi-regular sex with the ex and that other plate I saw the week of my birthday. The ex is really great in bed, and the fact that it's just a FWB kind of arrangement makes things more enjoyable since I'm not emotionally invested in her - though she has been going through therapy since our breakup and she's been very appreciative of the fact that I tried to make things work with her as long as I did while she was going through her personal issues.

The other plate I'd seen for a while, but it became a little one-sided when I started hitting her up, she would say it's too late because she had work or school in the morning, and wouldn't hit me up in response. So I just stopped. Now that she's newly single she seems interested in revisiting that.



I wouldn't overthink it. I don't think girls put out of a lot of IOIs consciously, and they usually aren't overt, so rather than look for "this one thing" I would suggest looking for a lot of things happening at once.

Is she staring back at you? Is she holding eye contact? Is she smiling at you? When you're talking to her is she separating herself from her friends? Is she checking her phone or looking around the room rather than listening to you?

The easiest way to cut through all this "is she interested" BS is to just go up and talk to her. Sometimes if I catch a girl looking at me I'll even incorporate it into my opener, like "hey, so were you just gonna stare at me all night or were you gonna say hi?"

Some of the best lays I've had involved me opening sets that I thought would be losing situations, but decided "f*** it, let's see what happens". It's one of those "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" kind of things.

There was a girl I met in Atlantic City several years ago, she was with her friend, I had made out with a different girl earlier that night, and my shirt was missing buttons because a jealous guy friend saw the make out and ripped it open trying to fight me. I was drunk, my friends had left, and there were these 2 hot girls, either of which I'd be happy with, but they were with guys so I went over and said "ok, so who is who's boyfriend here". The one who was single I ended up dating after a couple weekends of visiting her.

They gave me no IOIs and probably didn't know I was there until I came up to them. So just try.

Thanks, "just take a shot and see if you score" is a much better mentality than maybe she likes me maybe not.

I am trying, baby steps and all that.

 

[BPH]

Thanks, "just take a shot and see if you score" is a much better mentality than maybe she likes me maybe not.

I am trying, baby steps and all that.

Everybody starts somewhere. I was kind of a loser up until midway through high school; I was tall but I was skinny, didn't work out, just finished having braces, hadn't even kissed a girl or had a girlfriend, played a lot of video games, and didn't have very cool friends.

I made a conscious effort to start going to the gym and began spending some time getting out of my comfort zone by cold approaching girls.

Honestly, you can get very far just by doing those 2 things. By going to the gym you'll become healthier and more attractive, and you'll have a better "package" to market to the girls you go up to. And by going up to them you'll eliminate approach anxiety while building true confidence to the point where you become immune to rejection, and you'll become more comfortable having these conversations and escalating with these women.

It's just a matter of doing the thing that scares you, until it doesn't.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

Maybe you could describe to the new lurkers how to best stimulate the g-spot. Something that would increase their chances on getting a second date.