Bible_Belt said:
I agree. The other salesman rule that applies here is "the first person you have to sell is yourself." That's why confidence is attractive. All successful salespeople believe in their product, because emotion is contagious.
yep.t hat's why i only sold cars I actually liked. that's why I only sale websites I actually want to build.
I want to expand on something, I think i touched something here that could be of great benefit to some people.
I think, some.. actually a lot of guys, mistake natrual reluctance to try something new for low IL. There is this image out there that if a woman just is not chumping at the bit to see you that you need to drop her beucase she isn't interested. And to a great extent I agree.. if a girl just won;t' pick up the phone or is avoding you than you need to move on.
However, it's natural for people to just be.. reluctant to want to try something new. We are all very much creatures of habit. like, a friend of mine a few days ago recommended that I watch a movie that he thought i might like (the usual suspects). I took the last 2 days off, and I have watched 3 movies, none of which are the usual suspects. It's not that i don't want to watch it, however I first want to watch things that i know I 'm going to like, if that makes sense.
However, let's say my wife came home and someone gave her the same recommendation of a movie to watch and she was interested to watch it.. at that point, i would be ready to watch the movie.
It's what I call,
the Nudge.
The nudge, is basically taking someone who is on the fence about doing something, or showing slight reluctance to do something, then adding to their motivations to do something thus getting them to do what you want them to do.
I'll give you a real example. I met a girl about what.. 8 years ago.. actually 9. i got her number. she seemed to like me. we set up a date. she flaked. we setup another. she flaked. According to this site, **** i even think i posted about it, i should have nexted her.
This is what i did. i went to her job, i told her that i'm not mad at her at all, however this is what i'm going to do. i have tickets to go see a play (dreamgirls). it's tomorrow. I'm going to pick you up at 6pm. I will be more than happy to take you, but if you flake or stand me up,k you won't ever hear from me again. i won't be mad, but I'm not going to keep getting stood up.
turns out, she had just gotten out of a 6 year relationship. it wasn't that she didn't' like me, she just didn't know if she was ready to jump into something. but, tickets to a really hot play, plus me telling her to get her ass together or she's out, was just enough motivation to get her out the house, as i had no problem at all the next day getting her, **** she called me early. And even as the date started i could tell she wasn't 100% into it. however by the end of the date, she didn't' want to leave. we ended up dating for a pretty significant amount of time.
this is in essence, the nudge. There are 3 essential factors into performing a good nudge
1. she actually has to like you. at least to some extent. really only field experience is going to be able to show you the difference between a real true flake or a girl who is on the fence. this will only work with girls who are no the fence, not girls who just aren't interested.
2. there has to be a carrot, in addition to spending time with you. You know, i don't particularly care for carrots.. let's change this to something i do care for. I like cupcakes lol. going out to eat is not a cupcake **** she can eat at home lol. Going to coffee is not a cupcake. The cupcake in my story was the tickets to the play. the play was sold out and everyone wanted to go. i had tickets. i knew she'd like the play, and that, in combination with her actually kinda liking me was enough for her to give me a chance.
3. there has to be a stick. Again, you know sticks don't necessarily conjure up something fearful for me. Switches on the other hand, having my ass beat by them on a regular basis growing up, do. The switch, was me telling her that while i won't be mad, i mean if you honestly aren't ready you can go on your way and there will be no hard feelings, but I'm not going to do this again. this works beucase of point 1.. she actually kinda is interested in you. maybe not as much as you want her to be, but enough to want to at lest see what you are about.
if done right, this works just about every time. you'll get her out the house.
What am i trying to say?
okay, let's apply the nudge to the OP. first, coffee isn't gonna work. come up with something that you think she might be interested in, or even better, something that you really are interested in that you want to do that you can take her along with. Then, just put the cards on the table. say hey, this is wht i want to do and i would like to do with you but i'll be frank, while you seem like a cool cat i dont' chase shadows. I'll give you this chance but if you flake on me i'm out.
and if that isn't enough to work, then it just wasn't gonna work
