As you are getting ready to end a first date woman asks "What are you planning to do after leaving/this?"

[BackInTheGame78]

Have had this happen a few times where I couldn't get a read on a woman. Last night for example.

I say let's get out of here and she said "So what are you doing after leaving here?"

It caught me a little off guard and I just said "oh, I am going to probably just go home and watch a movie".

Then we kissed for a little at the car but there were a lot of people around and she didn't feel comfortable with it so I asked her if she wanted to come have a glass of wine with me and she said "I have to go".

Obviously the right place to do that would have been when she asked the question and it seemed a little butchered by me.

This is my problem...inconsistency. Some days I fvcking kill it like the FR/LR from the other day(

FR/LR: Great first date and extra feeling it from a confidence standpoint...

Met this chick on Bumble, vibe was great from the get go...got her number, called a few days ago and set up the date..met up today and it was like we were both in an electric chair the entire time...sparks were flying from the first hug. Took her on an adventure hike/ice cream date...during one...

www.sosuave.net

)
and other days I butcher things a little bit.

Is this simply her bringing up conversation or is there subtle intent with that by her?

 

[redskinsfan92]

She wanted to f in that moment.

I'm not the most successful with women, but I'm guessing you should have thrown something in there about taking her back to your place.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She wanted to f in that moment.

But then why didn't she come back to my place when I offered 5 minutes later? I ruined it by not being smooth enough?

Note that this wasn't a woman that I had any type of read on in terms of whether she was interested or not...I had a neutral read.

 

[redskinsfan92]

But then why didn't she come back to my place when I offered? I ruined it by not being smooth enough?

Note that this wasn't a woman that I had any type of read on in terms of whether she was interested or not...I had a neutral read.

I'm guessing you did something in-between her statement and your offer.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm guessing you did something in-between her statement and your offer.

It was literally under 5 minutes and all we did was walk to the car and kiss for maybe 20 seconds. Maybe she had second thoughts?

We were just talking about sex prior to that too...

 

[redskinsfan92]

It was literally under 5 minutes and all we did was walk to the car and kiss for maybe 20 seconds

Maybe she wasn't "feeling it" from the kiss?

 

[redskinsfan92]

or the "just conversation" theory is right
Sometimes I read into things too much

 

[HyenaPrince]

Have had this happen a few times where I couldn't get a read on a woman. Last night for example.

I say let's get out of here and she said "So what are you doing after leaving here?"

It caught me a little off guard and I just said "oh, I am going to probably just go home and watch a movie".

Then we kissed for a little at the car but there were a lot of people around and she didn't feel comfortable with it so I asked her if she wanted to come have a glass of wine with me and she said "I have to go".

Obviously the right place to do that would have been when she asked the question and it seemed a little butchered by me.

This is my problem...inconsistency. Some days I fvcking kill it like the FR/LR from the other day(

FR/LR: Great first date and extra feeling it from a confidence standpoint...

Met this chick on Bumble, vibe was great from the get go...got her number, called a few days ago and set up the date..met up today and it was like we were both in an electric chair the entire time...sparks were flying from the first hug. Took her on an adventure hike/ice cream date...during one...

www.sosuave.net

)
and other days I butcher things a little bit.

Is this simply her bringing up conversation or is there subtle intent with that by her?

The "watch a movie" part broke the deal. She felt like you don't want her 100%. Even kissing her can't change her impression on that evening. You hesitated, she felt it.

Next time you're close to finishing the date, invite her to your place straight. Tell her you want to show her your new carpet or table and want her opinion. Some bullsh*t like that. She'll get it. Women also know what's up. They like the fact that we also know and make a game out of it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Don't sweat it. Sometimes we are smooth AF and others we put our foot in our mouth. It's normal.

Generally my take on this situation is that it's one of, or a combination of multiple things:
1. She wants to do more with you - doesn't want the date to end - might want to bang
2. She is assessing your value - are you so cool and busy you are going out with friends afterwards, or have something else amazing planned or are you going home to sit alone and play video games or watch movies
3. She is trying to figure out if you have another date planned

Before the date is ending and you are walking back to the car, you should always try to escalate to a place where you can have sex. She might be wanting that. I know you did it in the car but that's too late.

My usual answer to the question is, "You're coming over to meet my dog" or something non-sexual. You need to give her plausible deniability to bypass her slvt shaming defenses. Asking to have a glass of wine at your place is ok but can be a bit too overt. I like to try to make it sound like we need to just "stop by real quick" for something - let the dog out, show her that thing I told her about on the date.

 

[Billtx49]

We were just talking about sex prior to that too...

Talking about sex beforehand and not an immediate in the moment setup from you.

What are you doing next?
You

If she’ll talk sex on first date, she’ll do sex…

 

[redskinsfan92]

The "watch a movie" part broke the deal. She felt like you don't want her 100%. Even kissing her can't change her impression on that evening. You hesitated, she felt it.

Next time you're close to finishing the date, invite her to your place straight. Tell her you want to show her your new carpet or table and want her opinion. Some bullsh*t like that. She'll get it. Women also know what's up. They like the fact that we also know and make a game out of it.

Makes sense. I'm going to make an actual note of this

 

[redskinsfan92]

We were just talking about sex prior to that too...

Yeah, you hesitated too much. I've done that before. A girl had been texting me daily for 2 weeks like crazy. Had her at my house 2 weekends straight. Hesitated too much and she ghosted me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don't sweat it. Sometimes we are smooth AF and others we put our foot in our mouth. It's normal.

Generally my take on this situation is that it's one of, or a combination of multiple things:
1. She wants to do more with you - doesn't want the date to end - might want to bang
2. She is assessing your value - are you so cool and busy you are going out with friends afterwards, or have something else amazing planned or are you going home to sit alone and play video games or watch movies
3. She is trying to figure out if you have another date planned

Before the date is ending and you are walking back to the car, you should always try to escalate to a place where you can have sex. She might be wanting that. I know you did it in the car but that's too late.

My usual answer to the question is, "You're coming over to meet my dog" or something non-sexual. You need to give her plausible deniability to bypass her slvt shaming defenses. Asking to have a glass of wine at your place is ok but can be a bit too overt. I like to try to make it sound like we need to just "stop by real quick" for something - let the dog out, show her that thing I told her about on the date.

It was tough because we were at a place that was very much out in the open and the parking lot was small and her car was literally right in front of everyone sitting outside(no inside dining here).

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The "watch a movie" part broke the deal. She felt like you don't want her 100%. Even kissing her can't change her impression on that evening. You hesitated, she felt it.

Next time you're close to finishing the date, invite her to your place straight. Tell her you want to show her your new carpet or table and want her opinion. Some bullsh*t like that. She'll get it. Women also know what's up. They like the fact that we also know and make a game out of it.

Do you think I will get a second date from her if I hit her up in a day or two? Let's go to the poll...

 

[redskinsfan92]

Do you think I will get a second date from her if I hit her up in a day or two? Let's go to the poll...

You might get a 2nd one if her initial interest level was extremely high. No 3rd if you blow it again. That's my experience anyway.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

It was tough because we were at a place that was very much out in the open and the parking lot was small and her car was literally right in front of everyone sitting outside(no inside dining here).

Pick better date spots next time =) Alternately you could have asked her to take a walk around with you after dinner - continuing the date forward, and then on that walk in a more private area, suggesting going back to your place like I mentioned.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe she wasn't "feeling it" from the kiss?

It was tough because she was watching the people

Talking about sex beforehand and not an immediate in the moment setup from you.

What are you doing next?
You

If she’ll talk sex on first date, she’ll do sex…

I hit her with the Strawberry Fields routine and she was dying laughing when I told her the meaning...and she agreed with the assessment of having a high sex drive and no remorse after having sex. She said the farmer would be her friend hahaha

Then we got into talking about how we sleep(naked, underwear, etc) and how amazing morning sex is etc...

 

[HyenaPrince]

Do you think I will get a second date from her if I hit her up in a day or two? Let's go to the poll...

I don't see any reason why not. But we don't know how she was behaving during the date. Was her demeanor feminine? Did she try to use some tongue when you kissed her?

 

[EyeBRollin]

My take -

The proper response is “I have to be someplace else.” Kiss her then get out of there.

You lowered your own value by acting unsure.

Another key point - I don’t think directly asking a woman to come back to your place is a good idea. The logistics should be always be set up beforehand. The final stop on the date should be walking distance to your house, her house, a hotel, or one of the three should be the venue itself. This is solved by picking her up for the date, or her parking at your place first with you driving the two of you to the date together.

If this isn’t the case, write off the bang, work her hamster some more than plan a more logistically favorable date for banging next time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don't see any reason why not. But we don't know how she was behaving during the date. Was her demeanor feminine? Did she try to use some tongue when you kissed her?

We have a great vibe...conversation flowed well...she even admitted that we have a great vibe...
She seems to not be into any PDA...I kissed her briefly while we were still at the table and she got all nervous...granted it might be because she wasn't that into me. Like I said it was a neutral read I had.

I did joke with her "I get the feeling we are going to be really great friends...I mean I am definitely going to try and get in your pants, but I just hope no matter what we can still be friends" and smirked and she blushed and turned away and smiled...

I am going to say it's a coin flip