As a mature guy, am I too old to get the hot chicks?

[deuce42]

Hi guys - please offer me some of your wisdom.

As a 36 year old, I am finding my options for even meeting or finding access to the HB7's and above very difficult. When I was younger (read "in my twenties") I never had a problem with finding hot chicks. They were plentiful and I flexed my attitude when I wanted. But now that I am on the wrong side of 36 I am finding there are less opportunities to actually meet and interact with the top shelf chicks. I am satisfied my skills are getting better at scoring all the time, yet sadly, even having access to women to try my skills on seems to be much tougher than I had imagined.

So are there any tips or bits of advice you guys could give me to make me feel I can meet these chicks or do I just need to accept my age may mean I need to lessen my standards?

For example, its creepy turning up to a nightclub on my own and being twice the the age of some of the punters, - and finding a wingman seems tough as most of the guys my age I know are married. Regardless of this, I also frankly cant be bothered doing the night club scene anymore anyway- I mean standing in line with Gen Y's fighting to get into a club that plays awful music, dealing with young dudes busting into fights and beating each other senseless over in the corner, then spending hours trying to find a taxi home in the wee hours of the morning. That was once a fun life for me but it just no longer appeals. I just can't be bothered there and am sure there has to be other or better ways.

I use internet dating, but chicks on the net, particularly between later 20's to 30's seem pretty unattractive at least in my city. Its clear their profiles need a subtext that says "desperate and leftover". Have tried my hand at night classes and stuff like that to meet chicks but not many hotties at all. Tried hanging in bookstores a bit and meeting a few chicks but it's hard work because a nice looking girl only ever shows up once in a while. Milling round a bookstore hoping a nice girl would show up has meant I have got some great reading done, but I was hoping to find some women there as well!

Running out of ideas here. Maybe I just need a slap, but if so, where do I go head space-wise from here before I slap myself or allow you guys to cyber slap me?

 

[ecko280]

move to a big city??

 

[georgie24]

you dont want to looked at like a " sugar daddy" .... well that what i dont want to see happen.

im in same boat and keep an eye in his thread

 

[nismo-4]

You're never too old for hot chicks. Just watch out for hidden agendas.

Most would say build your looks and wealth. J. Howard Marshall, if he were still alive, would be pulling high quality ass!

What city are you in anyway?

 

[georgie24]

You're never too old for hot chicks. Just watch out for hidden agendas.
Most would say build your looks and wealth. J. Howard Marshall, if he were still alive, would be pulling high quality ass!

What city are you in anyway?

if he doesnt run in same cirlces or alike this will be hard to decifer, if shes BPD he can fall head over heels not knowing thes being an illusion of what he projects, IE ambitious, goal orientated , ect

 

[vatoloco]

I met my current girlfriend at school, where she studies and where I work. Read Rollo's post, linked to in this post of mine.

Maybe go [back] to school and get a[nother] degree?

 

[5string]

One thing I have noticed is that at your age, many more women are married and raising children. In other words, the pool of gals to choose from is much less in this age group. After 40 and even 50, things pick up as kids move out, many are divorced and therefore available once again.

I don't think you should dwell on this too much. Just do the things you do on a regular basis and when a hottie appears on the horizon, well, you know what to do.

georgie24....check your messages.

 

[MonkeyButt]

Options:

Get involved with the meetup.com groups.

Avoid the food meetup groups, you can image the crowd at the food lovers gatherings. Also avoid the theater lovers type groups, they're kinda hurting as well.

Check out yoga and other spirituality things.

I went to a Feng Shui seminar last week ('cause I had nothing better to do) and came home with 3 phone numbers.

easy peasy.

Although, they were not 20 year olds, but desirable none the less.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

First, put an age on your profile and read the Mature Man Forum rules.


Now then, you need to play to your own venue. Even some of the most well meaning DJ's here still tend to use the term "Club" as some catch-all for a 20's-30 meat market disco/rave etc. where only the fittest survive to breed with the teeming hordes of club-sluts.

There are as many different venues as there are lifestyles and personal interests. In my line of work (liquor) I'm generally at a "club" 2-3 times a month for promos or a product launch, etc.. One Friday I may be at a "club" in South Beach, the next I may be at a martini bar up in Tampa. I regularly go to the Nightclub & Bar expo in Vegas, I see a variety of clubs, all with differing demographics that they cater to, so it's kind of hard to peg "clubs" as a one size fits all. I've done events in clubs that cater to a 35+ crowd (i.e. MILFs and divorcees) and I've done promos at places where it's all drunk college kids. If clubs aren't your thing, I can understand, but don't base that decision on just the 2 or 3 clubs you've happened to go to over the years. There is probably a place somewhere that you'd really like that would change your opinion.

Next you need to develop a new persona for yourself. If you default to feeling like the creepy old guy in the club, then that's the role you'll be playing. You yourself claimed you had no problems meeting women in your younger days, why? Because you naturally filled a role you were comfortable in. You're not that guy anymore. The landscape has changed and the old role wont work in your present condition.

I've been happily married and out of the dating game for almost 15 years now, but for work reasons, as i stated, I am "in the clubs" probably more often than most single guys. I never feel out of place, because my confidence comes from an amused mastery of that environment over the years. I couldn't claim that when I was younger. I had to be more flamboyant and animated as a performer and musician to make an impression. Oddly I find that my confidence and DHV are more apparent at 43 than I had at 23. And I'm comfortable in many different club environments as a result.

I work closely with a lot of beautiful women (my "pour girls) and I find that while my position and authority help my DHV, it's kind of this unspoken expectation of maturity that intrigues them. The tingles they get are rooted in this confident "knowingness", almost as if I know their thoughts and am ****y/confident enough to finish their sentences for them. It's kind of hard to relate, but be the cool old guy in the club, don't try to be the old guy fitting in. You'll garner more respect and female interest if you're not trying to seem like you want to fit in. Again, it's hard to define amused mastery for the older guy, but it's almost an expectation for those younger than yourself, so use that to your advantage.

That said, read Roissy's post on age appropriate Game:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/08/12/the-difficulty-of-gaming-women-by-age-bracket/

 

[Solomon]

^^^weird I always thought you were a "psychologist" Rollo, due to the nature of most of your post, didn't know you were a promoter

 

[zekko]

That said, read Roissy's post on age appropriate Game:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/08/...y-age-bracket/

I think it's funny that he cuts off the age groups at 39.
Honestly, I have never had sex with a woman that old either.

To the OP: It sounds like you have some self limiting beliefs about woman and your age. Usually age is only a big factor if you make it one. If you are attracted to a girl and you hit it off, go for it (as long as she's legal lol). My girlfriend is 15 years younger than I am and we couldn't get along better.

 

[Nutz]

Get involved with the meetup.com groups.

Avoid the food meetup groups, you can image the crowd at the food lovers gatherings. Also avoid the theater lovers type groups, they're kinda hurting as well.

Check out yoga and other spirituality things.

I went to a Feng Shui seminar last week ('cause I had nothing better to do) and came home with 3 phone numbers.

easy peasy.

Although, they were not 20 year olds, but desirable none the less.

Best meetups IMO are the ones that practically require a fit & trim body to be active in: rock climbing for example. Those women ARE HOT AS HELL!!!! For example, check out the women in the pics here:

https://www.earthtreksclimbing.com/rockville-climbing-center.html

https://www.earthtreksclimbing.com/columbia-climbing-center.html

https://www.earthtreksclimbing.com/timonium-climbing-center.html

Climbing is only a drop in the bucket of what's possible.

 

[old married dude]

As far as the clubs go, maybe you should try going out to some other places. I'm not sayin you're too old for the big meat market types of clubs, keep going if that's your thing, but try something new. Personally, I got sick of those types of places really quickly b/c like you said due to the fights, thugs, wanna be guidos, and chickenheads.

I work as a DJ 2 nights at week at an upscale lounge here that's upstairs from a sushi restaurant. I love the place, the crowd is great, it's mostly 25-35 year old professional type people. I mostly play dnb, plus downtempo electro-jazz, so we also get some "scene" or hipster types who used to hit the raves back in their younger days. They're very cool people though. In my year and a half there I have not seen one fight, and all our "bouncer" does is check ID's all night. Most people go there for the music, not to just get wasted, and the type of music we play drives the cretins away like mosquito repellant lol.

The girls that come to our joint for the most part are quite attractive and friendly, you won't find any hood rats for sure.

If you have a place like this near you, give it a try.

 

[azanon]

As a man, it's so important to increase your value as you age. I'm 39, and can run a 22 minute 5K with hills, and workout with weights too. Financially, I'm WAY beyond where I was in my 20s. Quite simply, I'm more valuable now than I ever was in my 20s. OP, you have to do what's necessary to be able to say that too. I think once you do that, it's not really possible to be in a defeatest mindset because it just wouldn't make sense to be.

For a single guy, I can think of tons of places I could go to meet women. Bookstores, churches, universities, intrameural (sp) sporting leagues that include women, etc. I don't get tons of attention today, but 1. I'm not looking for it 2. I have on a wedding band.

 

[zekko]

Lol, is there anybody on these forums who ISN'T in spectacular shape?
It makes you wonder why some guys here are having trouble with women, since it seems like everyone is in or near elite athletic condition.
Maybe looks aren't important after all.



Not trying to pull your chain, 020204. It just seems like everybody here claims to be in peak condition. Someone must be exaggerating.

 

[azanon]

Lol, is there anybody on these forums who ISN'T in spectacular shape?
It makes you wonder why some guys here are having trouble with women, since it seems like everyone is in or near elite athletic condition.
Maybe looks aren't important after all.

Point me, or Rollo to the thread where we said we were having trouble with women. Or save yourself some time, and don't look for something that doesn't exist. I see you specifically called out 020204, but you were lumping several of us together with your comment.

I'm here to help other guys, chief.

I'm not shy about "bragging" about being fit, because any man can decide to be fit too provided he isn't physically debilitated. Also, I'm under the belief that it's never too late. One could zap me into an overweight 50 year old body, you give me 2-3 years, and I'll had your jaw dropping the floor after you saw what I could do with it.

Ok well I'm hungry - time to go eat some oatmeal with skim milk, bananas, and a huge lump of yogurt in it. It's not rocket science

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

An athletic build and youthful appearance does not an Alpha make.

 

[zekko]

Point me, or Rollo to the thread where we said we were having trouble with women. Or save yourself some time, and don't look for something that doesn't exist. I see you specifically called out 020204, but you were lumping several of us together with your comment.

Read my post again. I was specifically NOT calling out 020204. Nor was I talking about you. It just struck me as amusing that if you read this forum, there are countless examples of guys talking about how in shape they are. You can find posts where I say it, as well. It just struck me as funny, because you rarely hear the opposite.

As for having trouble with women, most guys come here because of some issue with women, that's no secret.

An athletic build and youthful appearance does not an Alpha make.

True, but the first thing they tell you here is to hit the gym. If you have a muscular build and keep in shape, it's supposed to release more testosterone, which is supposed to attract women and make you behave more manly.

 

[asid76]

Deuce42...I hear you. I hate dance clubs. I have just moved to a new city, I don't know where anything is, and its crazy busy, especially the traffic. Just the thought of the 30 minute drive to the club, the 15 minutes to find parking and the 20-35 minutes in line - to listen to crap music and have to shout to be heard - is disheartening. Then if I go into the club, I'm there by myself (my friends won't go either), and I'm not able to drink because I have to drive home. Yaaaaay!!

That being said, I may have formulated a few ideas:


1)be outside the bar when it CLOSES, lol. no one knows you weren't inside. Offer women lights for their smokes; ask them if they know where to get pizza etc

2)join a gym. I workout anyhow, so I'm joining a gym in the new city. There is bound to come a day when one talks to a woman at a gym, whether forced (ie as a pickup) or not.

3)store clerks. go to the same places to eat, bank, shop etc. Pretty soon you'll become a familiar face with some of the female staff. (I bank almost everyday and am becoming increasingly popular with the tellers - so trust me, this works)

4)I'm going to try this as soon as its warm: I'm going to take my guitar down to the park. It sort of worked in the small town I'm from, I think it will really work in a big city. I just have to sit there and play songs and hippie chicks will start surrounding me and singing. (ps->this last part is all still in my head so far. also I hope the hippie chicks aren't against shaving)

5)GROCERY STORE!!!
Wow, I've been shopping for groceries more frequently, and I've noticed the same ladies are often there at the same times - this knowledge in itself is enough to formulate a plan. Be careful, some of them will judge you by the items in your basket...

All I can think of at the moment...

 

[asid76]

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