article: Why Men Are Settling for Mrs. Good Enough

[MatureDJ]

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/02/21/why-men-are-settling-for-mrs-good-enough.html

A new survey shows that men are surprisingly likely to say they’d commit to a person they’re not in love with. When did guys become so desperate to settle down? Jessica Bennett reports.

My hunch is that it is the men that are being shut out of the hypergamous dating game that want to "settle down" as a way to secure steady poontang.

"When we are honest, when we rid ourselves of the fantasy, being a single guy is f--king horrible,” says Nick Soman, the 32-year-old founder of a social dating site called LikeBright. “People start looking at you and thinking, ‘You seem like a decent dude. Where’s the woman?’ You’ll go to these weddings, and you’ll be at the increasingly declining table of the singles. There’s, like, three guys and a girl. You’re all kind of looking at each other like, ‘Wow, these odds are pretty bad.’”

 

[zekko]

I think men are more willing to settle these days because of the dearth of quality women. With all the hos, b!tches, attention hos, slvts, BPDs, gold diggers, manipulative, entitled, and simply untrustworthy females that are a product of the culture today, a good woman is a rarity. As I've said before, it can take years, even decades to find a suitable mate. Some guys would rather settle than wait for something they may never find.

Isn't this similar to what guys say girls should do? I've heard a lot of complaints here about how women are too picky, and have standards that are too high, and how they should stop looking for a perfect man and just go for a good one before their clock runs out.

I liked one of the comments that noted that "love" is not a requirement for marriage in many cultures.

 

[The_411]

Most men are pretty damn easy when it comes filtering.

Respect me, don't cheat and don't be a ***** all the time.

I think there are multiple aspects at play here.

Men settle because on top of the the things men are socially expected to provide they also have to deal with the ever chaning social dynamic where women have most of the breaks and their dependency on men is at an all time low.

Women can earn as much or more than men. So a man's role is reduced to law setter male figure, and sperm donor.

The leverage of being the provider is greatly diminished hence with less dependence men have a smaller advantage strictly from a provider role.

Zekko the difference is that men tend to approach love from rational view points whreas with women they are emotionally charged. Hence women's feelings are volatile.

In essence settling *justified or unjustified* is a step to remove the volatility of female emotions to change judgement on a whim.

 

[disgustipated]

I've seriously lowered my standards in the past 5 years or so to get in some experience with women. What I found was even a girl below your own value still feel entitled and all the other drama is still present. I would always get comments like, "you can do so much better". Usually knew I could fck a female if she made that comment, but I got that from dudes too.

Now I've quit pressing so much. There are 2 things that are must have for me to even consider pursuing a girl now, since ALL of them are full of drama and BS once you're in a relationship.

1. She's attracted to me and let's it be known (and they do nowadays)
2. I'm attracted to her (not kinda but a lot)

That's the spark I need to get things cooking. I don't or very rarely pursue first, it's that simple. If I find myself pushing too hard with little to no results then I know I'm trying too hard.

From there I kinda have adopted an Anti Dump's Machine style to dating or pursuing them any further, guaging interest level.

If I get far enough in where I'm ****ing her then I need a, seperate, personal set of criteria to be met. Mostly involving matching sex drives. I prefers hers to be slightly higher than mine.....and if at ANY point during this time she tries to set guidelines to how/when sex is gonna happen I'm pullling the eject button. It only will get worse with time or more commitment. That's from personal experience with women even lower than what I could pull on average. Possibly something I'm doing wrong inside the relationship to lower their IL and this is the result....quite possible...but early on it should never be this way. Two people just getting together shouldln't be able to keep their paws off one another.

That's the basics for me. I know whatabout number wise I can pull and reach for, 4-7 range...as that's where I think I fit in personally. But damn I'll die alone if I can't get those 3 basic things to START. I'm slowly figuring things out as I age.

 

[Burroughs]

this comment from the article was interesting:
_______

Society has been turned on it's head and woman now hold all the cards.
They can now have a job that pays as much or more than their husband, equal riights, equal opportunity, effective birth control, they control the sex act, and domestic violence laws enacted which almost automatically favor women,.
All that and they still want engament rings, flowers, jewlery, guys buying dinner, opening doors and all the other nicities woman always enjoyed.
They have in effect ,made themselves better than men.
And the men themselves have been emasculated by Liberalism..

 

[Robert28]

I will never get married because I feel like I HAVE to, I'll get married if I WANT to. Right now in my life there are more important things to me then getting married and possibly starting a family. I'm 50/50 when it comes to kids anyways. I've found that when this convo comes up it scares alot of women off. They want you to be ready for a kid, and be ready NOW. It's not so much that I enjoy being single, but what I do enjoy is making my own damn decisions and living my life how I want to, not how others want me to live it. I get asked that question ALL the GD time "so, Robert, when are you gonna settle down, when are you gonna get married, have kids.". The ironic thing is the one's that are asking me this are MISERABLE in their marriages, some admit it, others won't but it's obvious. I have a guy friend who's pretty much lost all of his friends because his wife is impossible to be around. His "friends" are his wife and his two bratty ass kids. that's it. he doesn't do sh!t anymore except work and watch tv. He used to ALWAYS have money in his pocket and time on his hands, but his wife has drained him of all that. He filled bankruptcy already and has only been married 7 years. This is a guy that was NEVER broke until he got married. fvck that, I will NEVER put myself in his position. yeah he's just one example, but I'm seeing more examples like him then I am those "happily ever after" types. Sorry, but I think I'll wait awhile. If I wait too long and never get married or have kids, I think I'll be ok with that.

 

[theanomaly]

Not having time to date around is a big reason men and women settle. They get all worked up about their life ending if they don't get married at 22. Nuts

 

[zekko]

They can now have a job that pays as much or more than their husband, equal riights, equal opportunity, effective birth control, they control the sex act, and domestic violence laws enacted which almost automatically favor women,.
All that and they still want engament rings, flowers, jewlery, guys buying dinner, opening doors and all the other nicities woman always enjoyed.
They have in effect ,made themselves better than men.

They could not have made themselves "better than men" on their own, however. Men and women have joined together to enact these laws, and in many cases the men have simply enacted the laws on their own, on the women's behalf. Makes you wonder how the heck this happened.

Anyway, I agree women cannot be "equal" and expect to keep all the benefits of chivalry. Also, women do not have to register for selective service. Probably because none of them want to fight for that. The women get to cherry pick what particular parts of equality they want (only the ones that benefit them).

 

[st_99]

this comment from the article was interesting:
_______

Society has been turned on it's head and woman now hold all the cards.
They can now have a job that pays as much or more than their husband, equal riights, equal opportunity, effective birth control, they control the sex act, and domestic violence laws enacted which almost automatically favor women,.
All that and they still want engament rings, flowers, jewlery, guys buying dinner, opening doors and all the other nicities woman always enjoyed.
They have in effect ,made themselves better than men.
And the men themselves have been emasculated by Liberalism..

being that all this is true, i would think women would even more so yurn for an alpha male more so now than ever before, seeing that most guys have been suppressed into beta state.

Its like if 95% of girls were thin, fat girls would take on new meaning. lol. like they did back in the Renaissance days when fat girls were associated with wealth and beauty (not sure if this is true, but i see the paintings, lol)

 

[goesToEleven]

This article really rings true for me. I am just tired of dealing with the drama and games and other **** coming from in demand single women. They are always looking for something better, always want what they can't have. Which is expected I guess, I do the same thing.

To get into the game and actually have fun with it, I think you just have to be in it for as many lays as possible. trying to find a quality girl seems to end up in trouble. Anytime you start to really like a girl, it seems to end badly. And they are so few and far between.

I have a lot of hobbies, and a career, and so many things going on in my life. I don't really have time to be chasing 3 or 4 girls at any given time and dealing with all their needs. I just want somebody who is good enough, so I can get on with my life and keep a balance of family life with other activities.

There are a couple of women I am chasing right now that are awesome, and I know they get a lot of attention from guys. I think I could fall hard (maybe even started to) for either of them pretty easily. But I am almost certain that neither of them is really into me. There is another girl I have been dating for a while who has a huge interest level in me, but I am not sure if I could ever really love her, but I am thinking about being more committed to her anyway. It makes me depressed to contemplate giving up hope on finding someone to be in love with.

 

[Serg897]

This is why I think that we need to learn to be independent. You are your own best friend and when sh!t hits the fan, you are the only person you know you can count on.

Anyone that frequents this website and actually understands the principles shouldnt be settling. It is relatively easy to meet women, get numbers, and go on dates. It doesnt take long to have a few women in tow.

One must also understand that being with someone isnt an end-all be-all in life, and that a person can be complete being single. Once you eliminate or tone down the desire to be in a relationship the power will always be yours.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

Anyone that frequents this website and actually understands the principles shouldnt be settling. It is relatively easy to meet women, get numbers, and go on dates. It doesnt take long to have a few women in tow.

QFT