article: An Interview With a Person Who Has Never Once Been Dumped

[MatureDJ]

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/09/dating-relationships-never-dumped-interview.html

Starting from the relationships from which her ancestors got married ...

The first was my high school boyfriend, but we kept dating into college. He was a nice guy ... I broke up with him in the car outside my dorm, and it was pretty rough.

I dated casually a bit after that, and then my next big relationship was my college boyfriend ... We had a very intense relationship that felt very “one true and eternal love.”

... round and round goes the lass on the c0ck carousel ...

After that, I dated casually that summer, including a hot older bartender at the restaurant I was working at. Then I dated a waiter there more seriously and kept dating him when he started law school in the fall. He was really sweet and cute, but I had just always known we were not going to be together long-term. I think he cried.

In the city, I dated an older musician for a little over a year. It was “serious” in that we were exclusive, spent most of our nights together, traveled together, and so on. My parents were worried about it. But I was confident it was not going to last that long. I broke up with him in his extremely cool car, and he also cried.

... but as the Sexual Market Value turns ...

Almost immediately afterward, I started dating a guy I’d met through a friend ... We ended up dating for four years. In this case, I was eventually ready to get married ... I thought that was more than fair after four years of a really solid and happy relationship. My boyfriend wasn’t ready, but he really wanted to stay together even though he was getting ready to move to another state. I eventually became exhausted by that dynamic, and I broke up with him.

... the beta in storage gets called up ...

I still thought about my old college boyfriend a lot over all these years, and we went through periods where we wrote each other letters and G-chatted a lot. To make a long story short, we eventually got married! So my dumping years are over now.

... since that was the plan all along ...

I am a total sucker for “staying friends”.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/09/dating-relationships-never-dumped-interview.html

She said her key was not dealing with anyone partially interested. Or else she wouldve been strung along.

 

[zekko]

I've known several people who have never been dumped, and never had their heart broken. I had thought that it was a universal experience, but turns out it's not. It's hard for me to imagine going through life never having felt that rejection, but some people do it. To be fair, some of them are people who married their boyfriends/girlfriends from high school (and are still married!).

She said her key was not dealing with anyone partially interested. Or else she wouldve been strung along.

That's a good strategy, and it's a good strategy for men, but it won't keep men from being dumped. Women can be all in, head over heels for a guy, completely high interest, but will change their mind over time. That's why they say women are fickle, and that's why so many men get blindsided by wives and girlfriends. They can be full interest but then get bored or find someone else they want to branch swing to.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've known several people who have never been dumped, and never had their heart broken. I had thought that it was a universal experience, but turns out it's not. It's hard for me to imagine going through life never having felt that rejection, but some people do it. To be fair, some of them are people who married their boyfriends/girlfriends from high school (and are still married!).


That's a good strategy, and it's a good strategy for men, but it won't keep men from being dumped. Women can be all in, head over heels for a guy, completely high interest, but will change their mind over time. That's why they say women are fickle, and that's why so many men get blindsided by wives and girlfriends. They can be full interest but then get bored or find someone else they want to branch swing to.

When i was a cheater i hadnt been dumped. When i had more integrity and it was more important for balance i had been strung along and dumped.

 

[zekko]

When i was a cheater i hadnt been dumped. When i had more integrity and it was more important for balance i had been strung along and dumped.

I don't really believe in kill or be killed, but there is some truth to it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't really believe in kill or be killed, but there is some truth to it.

Ive thought of a mindset where i very occasionally partake but i take care of my relationship. Cheat respectfully but i dont know.

 

[Soflobro#3]

When i was a cheater i hadnt been dumped. When i had more integrity and it was more important for balance i had been strung along and dumped.

I've kind of wondered about this. I'm usually dumped but usually in the end it's because I keep drinking or using something and slacking off in life not making progress. To be honest I think the last few relationships I wasn't cheated on because in certain ways they treated me amicably. But I thought doesn't usually someone cheat? And I didn't cheat, so they must of.

Usually though they're pretty mad at me. Doesn't matter now but I still wonder from time to time. They always told me no when I asked, and they still helped me financially and did me favors from time to time. My relationships just turn toxic, which is largely because I haven't gotten myself right. When motivated I can get a girlfriend pretty easily and she'll share everything she has with me.

Man sometimes I don't really know. I'm talking to a couple girls here and I think one is going to come scoop me up from my halfway house to meet up in the next couple days. I'm pretty honest with them about my situation, that I'm sober now and live in a halfway house. They don't care. I'm also brokem

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've kind of wondered about this. I'm usually dumped but usually in the end it's because I keep drinking or using something and slacking off in life not making progress. To be honest I think the last few relationships I wasn't cheated on because in certain ways they treated me amicably. But I thought doesn't usually someone cheat? And I didn't cheat, so they must of.

Usually though they're pretty mad at me. Doesn't matter now but I still wonder from time to time. They always told me no when I asked, and they still helped me financially and did me favors from time to time. My relationships just turn toxic, which is largely because I haven't gotten myself right. When motivated I can get a girlfriend pretty easily and she'll share everything she has with me.

Man sometimes I don't really know. I'm talking to a couple girls here and I think one is going to come scoop me up from my halfway house to meet up in the next couple days. I'm pretty honest with them about my situation, that I'm sober now and live in a halfway house. They don't care. I'm also brokem

Get your **** together so your stable and self sufficient. Once your on the way itll be attractive. Checklists help me to stay on course.

 

[zekko]

Man sometimes I don't really know. I'm talking to a couple girls here and I think one is going to come scoop me up from my halfway house to meet up in the next couple days. I'm pretty honest with them about my situation, that I'm sober now and live in a halfway house. They don't care. I'm also brokem

I know there are caretaker type girls who get attracted to guys in just your situation. A lot of girls like guys who are broken. But hopefully you will get your problems straightened out, so good luck to you.

 

[Soflobro#3]

I know there are caretaker type girls who get attracted to guys in just your situation. A lot of girls like guys who are broken. But hopefully you will get your problems straightened out, so good luck to you.

Yeah but I learned about people pleasers in rehab. They always have expectations when they do something for you, so they become easily resentful and will look to get even constantly. So her being the caretaker type doesn't make her a good person or nice at all. Infact even though she did a lot, she wasn't very nice in many ways. I could just watch the switch from being nice to cold and distant and nothing really happened inbetween.

It's like fake kindness, they give just so they can justify being a cvnt later, and if you call them out on it, they first deny it, then eventually in turns into "I did this and this for you" and that's all they care about.

And she wonders why her ex before me would flip the fvck out in her. He never even got to meet his son, and his son seems to think his dad is a bad guy, just like his bitter mother.

 

[SteR]

I've known several people who have never been dumped, and never had their heart broken. I had thought that it was a universal experience, but turns out it's not. It's hard for me to imagine going through life never having felt that rejection, but some people do it. To be fair, some of them are people who married their boyfriends/girlfriends from high school (and are still married!).

I've said this before, that being rejected can sometimes be a very beneficial experience: It forces you to step up your game. Some of my most painful rejections have been followed by tremendous growth... often to the point where I look back years later at the same girl and feel I've surpassed her.

 

[Soflobro#3]

And just think about how many other single mothers out there are just bitter manipulative b1tches who wear down the self esteem of their children. I'm starting to really wonder if women should be able to make decisions with their bodies. 90% of all prison inmates were raised by single mothers. The choices women make with their bodies affects society in a very negative way. After living with a single mother in starting to understand why children of single mothers are so fvcked up. This a direct result of feminism and it is societal suicide. No children should have to be put through that. Maybe these women should make better choices with their bodies or not be allowed to make that choice.

 

[zekko]

90% of all prison inmates were raised by single mothers.

I did not know that. If that's true, it's a very telling statistic.

 

[ubercat]

My g/f is a caretaker type. If it's fake she's hidden it well for close to three years. @Soflobro#3 I'd be a little cautious of all the psychotherapy stuff. The shrinks are often the craziest people. Men do well with routine habit and checklists. Of course what you are going through is tough. I've seen broken people recover and it generally takes a couple of years. But even when they backslide it's part of the fixing process. And personally I would start where everyone starts at this forum with the physical. Start with an exercise routine. The routine part is just as important as the exercise. You're relatively young so it's not about the looks it's about your internal organs buddy. Otherwise you'll scratch yourself wake up middle aged with multiple health conditions and without the looks to pull those easy girlfriends.

 

[Soflobro#3]

My g/f is a caretaker type. If it's fake she's hidden it well for close to three years. @Soflobro#3 I'd be a little cautious of all the psychotherapy stuff. The shrinks are often the craziest people. Men do well with routine habit and checklists. Of course what you are going through is tough. I've seen broken people recover and it generally takes a couple of years. But even when they backslide it's part of the fixing process. And personally I would start where everyone starts at this forum with the physical. Start with an exercise routine. The routine part is just as important as the exercise. You're relatively young so it's not about the looks it's about your internal organs buddy. Otherwise you'll scratch yourself wake up middle aged with multiple health conditions and without the looks to pull those easy girlfriends.

I do hard work everyday outside in south florida. I work a lot so i don't have time or energy to exercise.

 

[ubercat]

Make perfect you'd be as tough as Nails. I'm an office worker so I can't point the bone at a real working man.


So why the drifter lifestyle you're obviously a very smart guy?

 

[sosousage]

I have nothing to say. She broke with this many guys lol

 

[Soflobro#3]

Make perfect you'd be as tough as Nails. I'm an office worker so I can't point the bone at a real working man.


So why the drifter lifestyle you're obviously a very smart guy?

Idk why I've been doing this for like 8 years.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have nothing to say. She broke with this many guys lol

What you mean by that?

 

[zekko]

I've said this before, that being rejected can sometimes be a very beneficial experience: It forces you to step up your game. Some of my most painful rejections have been followed by tremendous growth

That's certainly true. If nothing else, it's taught me that I didn't really need those women. And am probably better off without them.
But I'm thinking it might be a big confidence boost never to have been rejected - there's a tradeoff there.
They say naturals are guys who had a lot of positive reinforcement with females early on, for instance.