article: A guide to dating for average (or below average) looking men

[MatureDJ]

A guide to dating for average (or below average) looking men

I have seen several men here complain that they're unable to get dates because they feel they're average or 'ugly' looking. This will be like a 'pep talk' to you guys, so that you don't lose hope and give up on dating and women. So please read on.

www.girlsaskguys.com

That's when I changed my lifestyle and became a total gentleman. I began expressing a lot of kindness towards my female friends, helping them out when they had problems and lending them a shoulder to cry on.

my opinion: So that's it - he has to "nice" his way into her pants ...

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Everyone is dealt a different hand. He’s gotta play those cards.

 

[zekko]

my opinion: So that's it - he has to "nice" his way into her pants ...

There's not a damn thing wrong with being "nice" to people, as long as you're not a wuss or a doormat.
This guy had confidence and was giving value. Not sure exactly where his confidence came from, he seemed to just decide to have confidence. Which can work, at least for awhile. A lot of this behavior is not in what you do, but how you frame it. He wasn't a supplicator, he wanted to give value.

Anyway, the proof is in the results: Girls asked him out.

 

[kirt]

I reside in a conservative country where most people are still not open when it comes to dating and sexuality. And couples usually abstain from actual sex (although they may proceed till foreplay)until they get married, or at least until they are engaged.

I think, that's the main reason of his success. He presented himself as a good "marriage material" and his "confident beta" image worked. Will it work in a deregulated sexual marketplace?

The best "nice good guy" strategy I've read about was in Corey Wayne's book (he also have tons of free videos with case studies on Youtube), and it's close to Pook's "good guy" image. Basically, you just respect woman's freedom, don't over-pursue, don't try to change the girl to fit your ideals, you take things slow, and you are direct and honest in your intentions (but in a respectful way). This comes not from innate niceness, but from having options. You spin plates before going officially exclusive with one of the girls and you constantly read girl's interest level.

Of course, you also stop being judgmental, needy, insecure, jealous, etc. and this doesn't come from innate niceness either. Rather, you make your purpose and mission your main priority. Girls come and go, but your purpose is your main concern. This is how you get both your confidence and your "good guy" image. Being successful in your mission also makes you a genuine person who gives value to people around him, rather than just being a manipulative player.

 

[MatureDJ]

I think, that's the main reason of his success. He presented himself as a good "marriage material" and his "confident beta" image worked. Will it work in a deregulated sexual marketplace?

The best "nice good guy" strategy I've read about was in Corey Wayne's book (he also have tons of free videos with case studies on Youtube), and it's close to Pook's "good guy" image. Basically, you just respect woman's freedom, don't over-pursue, don't try to change the girl to fit your ideals, you take things slow, and you are direct and honest in your intentions (but in a respectful way). This comes not from innate niceness, but from having options. You spin plates before going officially exclusive with one of the girls and you constantly read girl's interest level.

Of course, you also stop being judgmental, needy, insecure, jealous, etc. and this doesn't come from innate niceness either. Rather, you make your purpose and mission your main priority. Girls come and go, but your purpose is your main concern. This is how you get both your confidence and your "good guy" image. Being successful in your mission also makes you a genuine person who gives value to people around him, rather than just being a manipulative player.

I guess a man with lots of plates can always simply let the cream rise to the top, and have the gal that wants it more than the rest win, at which time she is primed to properly sex him, etc.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Dating in 2019 for the below average man is pointless, the amount of frustration, costs and mental damages to get very low gratification (if any) is unbearable.

Not even sure about the average man actually, I cant tell for sure that there is an abyss simply compared to just 10 years ago.

An average guy either manages to become way above average and make it worth or he better focus on himself and his goals.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dating in 2019 for the below average man is pointless, the amount of frustration, costs and mental damages to get very low gratification (if any) is unbearable.

Not even sure about the average man actually, I cant tell for sure that there is an abyss simply compared to just 10 years ago.

An average guy either manages to become way above average and make it worth or he better focus on himself and his goals.

Yes. Well they will use that guy for free dinners or validation.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Men are fairly resilient, I think they just get used to it. I for one was very below average but was not content so did enormous self improvement to become above average. I'm not so sure the ROI is there though, I could have been doing something else that was more fun. Most guys don't really view the payoff as worth devoting so much time to doing something they don't like to do, perhaps they deal with loneliness or social stigma better im not sure. For me both were unbearable so I made a decision to try to change.

Given what the average woman provides nowadays I find the rate of return per effort given to be unworth unless you appreciate the necessary step to improve yourself like hitting the gym, or get a better style.

A guy who happen to be a 4 that could become a 6 by dieting and hitting the gym despite his love for food and hate for sport, in my opinion should drop it.

The rewards he would get nowdays from women by being a 6 wont match at all the deprivation from food and sufference from sport.

Personally I love hitting the gym and practive martial arts, dieting comes easy being myself used to endure pain and deprivation yet no change in hell I'll drive hours and take further hours to get a parking place to get inside an overcrowded crappy place with over expensive watered drinks just cause a cvnt likes to go there and expect her dates to get along.

You have a point, many guys make a cost/benefit ratio analisys and establish that its not worth, many turn to mgtow for that purpose exactly especially guy above 35 where to get laid with women your age is a chore if you are lucky and a punishment if you are married.

 

[AttackFormation]

Men are fairly resilient, I think they just get used to it. I for one was very below average but was not content so did enormous self improvement to become above average. I'm not so sure the ROI is there though, I could have been doing something else that was more fun. Most guys don't really view the payoff as worth devoting so much time to doing something they don't like to do, perhaps they deal with loneliness or social stigma better im not sure. For me both were unbearable so I made a decision to try to change.

Similar boat here.

Ever since I realized over years and years just how much looks matter (starting when I overheard how much a group of girls a year above me when I was 14 liked my lean torso and despised the somewhat pudgier torso of another guy), and that I would be left in the dust by professional models, athletes, celebrities and local chads I saw and was shown if I didn't looksmax myself, I have made it one of my written goals to keep myself looksmaxed. Good diet, gym, decent style and haircut, posture, microneedling, PRP, skin lotion, hair retention, laser eye surgery over glasses or contacts if I ever need it, hormone replacement if I start to need it... I am on that sh!t. It doesn't just get tied to your selfesteem as a positive reward, it's also the dread of knowing what awaits if you don't do it. But the feeling of being on top of your game makes it feel good too.

The halo effect of looks is fvcking huge in all aspects of life. If I have any I will tell my children that looks, a marketable skill and again looks is the fundament of life. You live in different realities not just sexually but in all of life depending on your looks.

My attitude is that as a man, you are evolutionary chaff unless you put in effort not to be.

Personally I love ... practive martial arts

I kinda miss doing mma.. but if you don't live only for it, then it only works if you have a decent group of sparring partners. If you have sparring partners who are less concerned about chronic injuries or brain damage than you are, you have to change center or quit.

Funny thing is that the guys who tell you to just pursue your hobbies to get girls obviously have never set foot inside a martial arts center lol. Either exclusively male, or worse gender ratio than Tinder if you are lucky with the class/center.

 

[ubercat]

Haha yep every dojo I was at was always a c0ck forest. Karate's not a bad option if you enjoy the training but don't want the dead brain cells and broken bones still have to pay attention I once got a bruise the size of a cheerleaders falsie on the front of my leg because some guy walked into my round kick.

I found goju ok. Of course you have to train their simplistic karate moves. But dojo sparring they don't care what you pull. I used to use Thai kicks box hand trap some of the safer silat throws. Of course it would confuse the hell out of the young black belts but believe me some of the black belts were good enough that it didn't matter what I tried to pull I got my ass handed to me.

only thing that does surprise me about karate is they hardly ever seem to feint. Simple attacks r risky because you can get countered heavily.

I would go in with a progressive indirect attack transition to a hand trap arm bar and leg sweep and it was like I d pulled a gun

Stuff has been around for a very long time somebody never read the Tao of jeet kune do.

 

[AttackFormation]

Haha yep every dojo I was at was always a c0ck forest. Karate's not a bad option if you enjoy the training but don't want the dead brain cells and broken bones still have to pay attention I once got a bruise the size of a cheerleaders falsie on the front of my leg because some guy walked into my round kick.

I found goju ok. Of course you have to train their simplistic karate moves. But dojo sparring they don't care what you pull. I used to use Thai kicks box hand trap some of the safer silat throws. Of course it would confuse the hell out of the young black belts but believe me some of the black belts were good enough that it didn't matter what I tried to pull I got my ass handed to me.

only thing that does surprise me about karate is they hardly ever seem to feint. Simple attacks r risky because you can get countered heavily.

I would go in with a progressive indirect attack transition to a hand trap arm bar and leg sweep and it was like I d pulled a gun

Stuff has been around for a very long time somebody never read the Tao of jeet kune do.

Yeah c0ck forest was a good way of putting it lol.

This slugger was still trying to knock me out after I'd told him to calm down so I took him down, gave him a taste of his own medicine which made my coach smile, and then put him in a crucifix and waited the round out which also ended the session. As I was lying there, I thought to myself that I don't want to be as stupid as this guy and there must be a better way to spend my time, energy and health than this. No pictures are taken and no girls are watching either there or on antisocial media, there is no prize pool, it's not even an amateur match that progresses your "career", and here he is making me play his game of selling your health for ego like two monkeys or some other primitive animal. Just not for me and after that session I decided to quit.

Simple attacks with no feints, man... it makes me instinctively picture a takedown. I would pretend that I was on an ego trip or stupid by doing a pull counter to their probing strikes, knowing that it would make them come in... so then you pull your head back again when they really try to hit you but this time instead of returning your head you just duck under their swings and take them down as they fell for your trick of playing dumb, hahahaha. Then you can pin their head down into the turtle position and knee their liver... knees were my favorite, such a cool and satisfying attack...

Did you do any ground game in your karate dojos? or just throws and then stand back up like in thaiboxing.

 

[Poonani Maker]

^^ I'm currently working on conditioning for fighting and it's definitely gained me favor with not just women, but more importantly, Men and associates. I've noticed a respect or camaraderie that I haven't experienced in years. I think it's a "I don't know if I could take this guy" kinda feel that makes other guys laugh at what you say or chum it up with you. These are dudes who like sports, mainly watching them and betting on them that I come into contact with daily, most of them married. It's subtle but I've noticed an increased respect or relativeness in just one month alone. I haven't been sparring but I have been hitting pads, though I know that bag work is better for you. Hitting pads started in the 70s. Before then, most fighters just shadow-boxed and hit the bag (Mohammad Ali) then throw into the mix to spar. If you do the work, you look the part, even if you'd definitely get trounced by a REAL amateur fighter. I'm looking to have relentless conditioning as general Patton said, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all."

 

[biggoal]

That's the problem with hobbies. They tell us guys to get more involved in them. My main ones are firearms and fishing. Both those sports are male dominated. Granted a few more women are into guns, but usually you walk into a gun shop and range and it's dominated by middle aged men usually. Same with bass fishing. mostly men. I'm just not into girly hobbies.

As for as looks wise, as I posted before down here I see a lot of ugly guys, and guys who look sloppy and out of shape with decent looking women and I keep wondering WTF is going on. At the market I work and in public I see it a lot. HB7 on up with a fat guy, ugly, or just looks sloppy. What are these substandard looking men doing right to get a hot babe? That would be like me being attracted to a 200lb landwhale. No way in hell that will ever happen. Women in general don't take looks as number one priority with men if they're with lard arses and greaseball looking guys obviously which I see a lot.

 

[zekko]

Funny thing is that the guys who tell you to just pursue your hobbies to get girls obviously have never set foot inside a martial arts center lol. Either exclusively male, or worse gender ratio than Tinder if you are lucky with the class/center.

I agree that pursuing hobbies can be of limited use for getting girls, depending on what that hobby is. And being men, we tend to like hobbies that males like. And the girls that join male hobbies are often AWs seeking easy attention from a lot of guys.

But I think the reason they say pursue your hobbies is to self improve and to enjoy yourself, not necessarily to pick up women there. Hobbies can distract you from being too focused on women (some claim hobbies should be considered plates) and can be very fulfilling in their own right.

And in the end, they often can help you with women. Maybe you didn't see many girls at the dojo, but perhaps it increased your self confidence and women could sense that you are a man who can handle himself. And if you "perform" at tournaments, there are girls in the crowd that might be impressed. If nothing else, it shows you have a life and something to do with your time other than mashing your @ss on the couch.

 

[biggoal]

Fully agree. When I first joined this site @ decade ago though I would not have agreed because the game wasn't so tight back then.

True. Combination of things which some will disagree with me and possibly flame me.

First, more women are lesbians than 50 years ago for example, second you have more interracial couples with attractive females dating outside their race, third women have careers now, 4th due to Hollywood and the liberal media women are becoming narcissistic more and want more material items, gold digging and overall many of them are simply unbearable to tolerate no matter how hot they are. They have unrealistic demands and expectations.

I blame the media and Hollywood a lot for the cultural rotting of western women.

The first and second things I mentioned are two big reasons I think. With women being lesbians or bisexual they can get their sexual gratification from another females. 60 years ago that was frowned upon still. Hell even 20 years ago it still was.

It's all a perfect storm of a combination of factors.

If this forum existed 80 years ago I doubt there would be hardly any of us on here. Simply wouldn't need to be here.

Most of us are all here for the same reason to get advice. It's also good for guys to have place like this to vent about dating and such. Since many are in the same boat and not alone in the search.

Something has to be done about society though and the way its heading.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Similar boat here.

Ever since I realized over years and years just how much looks matter (starting when I overheard how much a group of girls a year above me when I was 14 liked my lean torso and despised the somewhat pudgier torso of another guy), and that I would be left in the dust by professional models, athletes, celebrities and local chads I saw and was shown if I didn't looksmax myself, I have made it one of my written goals to keep myself looksmaxed. Good diet, gym, decent style and haircut, posture, microneedling, PRP, skin lotion, hair retention, laser eye surgery over glasses or contacts if I ever need it, hormone replacement if I start to need it... I am on that sh!t. It doesn't just get tied to your selfesteem as a positive reward, it's also the dread of knowing what awaits if you don't do it. But the feeling of being on top of your game makes it feel good too.

The halo effect of looks is fvcking huge in all aspects of life. If I have any I will tell my children that looks, a marketable skill and again looks is the fundament of life. You live in different realities not just sexually but in all of life depending on your looks.

My attitude is that as a man, you are evolutionary chaff unless you put in effort not to be.



I kinda miss doing mma.. but if you don't live only for it, then it only works if you have a decent group of sparring partners. If you have sparring partners who are less concerned about chronic injuries or brain damage than you are, you have to change center or quit.

Funny thing is that the guys who tell you to just pursue your hobbies to get girls obviously have never set foot inside a martial arts center lol. Either exclusively male, or worse gender ratio than Tinder if you are lucky with the class/center.

Well any hobbie that involves commitment, skills, competition and progression definitely doesnt gather girls...let alone if no social media is involved.

The good thing of MMA is that it changes your inner game for many positive things but also some negative ones, it makes you fearless in your everyday life while pouring energy and testosterone...too bad it also makes you less diplomatic and sometime out of touch with the "civilized world" if you are a white collar.

Basically we have us guys going after activities we hate (dancing, art whatever) to get girls in our 20s, then when we no longer give a fvck in our mid 30s its girls hitting gyms and weights to get us but at that point we're burn out mentally and they are broken from the impact with the wall.

Ironic, definitely ironic.

 

[ubercat]

No ground game in karate. Can't say I've ever got into that. I do know how to curl into a fall and come back with kicks and sweeps and quickly regain my feet There's plenty of that in silat and Kali. I've never seen the point of wrestling around in the street getting mashed to the concrete. And his two mates are going to be kicking your head in.

 

[AttackFormation]

Well any hobbie that involves commitment, skills, competition and progression definitely doesnt gather girls...let alone if no social media is involved.

The good thing of MMA is that it changes your inner game for many positive things but also some negative ones, it makes you fearless in your everyday life while pouring energy and testosterone...too bad it also makes you less diplomatic and sometime out of touch with the "civilized world" if you are a white collar.

Basically we have us guys going after activities we hate (dancing, art whatever) to get girls in our 20s, then when we no longer give a fvck in our mid 30s its girls hitting gyms and weights to get us but at that point we're burn out mentally and they are broken from the impact with the wall.

Ironic, definitely ironic.

Hey dude, have you noticed any correlation between womens' attitudes and their political leanings? I don't think there is one and women are the same, but I am still curious since I know you are on the right wing so you have a different perspective.

I ask because I am thinking of women from my past both that I've just talked to online and those I've actually met. I went and looked at one of these womens' profiles who I've met and I see her advertising for charity, out on a pride parade, but she still treated me like total sh!t. You could practically say she catfished me, and as usual, it was when I "tried" the most and really was genuine like they tell you in the mainstream, that I got the worst results. But these women will still claim to care about others and vote left, she herself said to others that respect is huge for her while she did anything but treat me with respect. It just makes me really cynic or jaded when, thinking about it, it occurs to you that they treat men like toys or trash in their personal life but still virtue signal officially. It's right now making me question my whole outlook on human society even more than I already did, and I feel that I have less and less sympathy for women.

What's your experience or take on it?

PS. I woulda PMed you but you've disabled it.

 

[sangheilios]

Avoid OLD and work on self improvement.

 

[biggoal]

Hey dude, have you noticed any correlation between womens' attitudes and their political leanings? I don't think there is one and women are the same, but I am still curious since I know you are on the right wing so you have a different perspective.

I ask because I am thinking of women from my past both that I've just talked to online and those I've actually met. I went and looked at one of these womens' profiles who I've met and I see her advertising for charity, out on a pride parade, but she still treated me like total sh!t. You could practically say she catfished me, and as usual, it was when I "tried" the most and really was genuine like they tell you in the mainstream, that I got the worst results. But these women will still claim to care about others and vote left, she herself said to others that respect is huge for her while she did anything but treat me with respect. It just makes me really cynic or jaded when, thinking about it, it occurs to you that they treat men like toys or trash in their personal life but still virtue signal officially. It's right now making me question my whole outlook on human society even more than I already did, and I feel that I have less and less sympathy for women.

What's your experience or take on it?

PS. I woulda PMed you but you've disabled it.

On match I see a lot of women, and the few decent looking ones on there, many of them list liberal on their profile and even say no trump supporters. That's why I took my political leanings label off my profile. So many of the hot women in those sites are libs.