OK guys .. not sure where to share this but figured I would post it here. I bet that MANY guys here will be able to relate to this article in regards to sourcing their causes of being AFC. AFter I read this ... i began my search on repairing the damage becasue I too was raised by a single mom and alot of this really resonated with me when i found it.
http://www.gillistriplett.com/rel101/articles/harmful.html
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Raising Boys Wrong…
In the state of Georgia, as in most urban areas, two thirds of the Black children born, are born to unwed mothers. Most of those boys will grow up to be unproductive men in our society. For irrefutable proof one only needs to examine:
The high school drop out rate amongst boys from single-family homes.
The incarceration statistics for boys raised by single moms.
The mass number of single mothers who have trained their boys to devalue and disrespect the entire female gender
Am I blaming society’s ills on single mothers? No! Am I attacking or demonizing single mothers? A thousand times no! I am dealing with a critical issue that has devastated multiple generations. One that has not been properly dealt with for too long. I have watched this particular group of single mothers reek havoc and sow seeds of discord in the lives of countless children. I had one incident in which a woman, (I’ll call Racine ) was dating a man, she got pregnant by him and they moved in together.
Like many women who give themselves to dishonorable men, Racine assumed that she could change him and that he would eventually marry her. She was so convinced of her abilities to alter his conduct, that she got pregnant, AGAIN! You should know that Racine was in the church while this disgraceful chain of events took place. After their second child, her live-in boyfriend just up and left. He coldly and calculatedly abandoned her and both of their kids.
It is no secret that this is the norm for single women who get pregnant by their boyfriends. But like many women, Racine chose to ignore those irrefutable facts. She somehow believed her situation would be different than the countless single women who are left pregnant and alone every year. Before bolting, her enigmatic lover prepped his family, friends and co-workers not to divulge any information of his whereabouts to his ex.
For three months Racine pleaded with his family and friends to tell her what happened. After constantly listening to her forlorned cries, one of his family members couldn’t take it anymore. She broke down and told Racine the truth. Her Night In Pining Armour had dumped her and hurriedly married some bimbo. When Racine heard the heart traumatizing truth, she promptly joined the (BSMC), Bitter Single Mother’s Club. She turned into an angry and vengeful single mom.
Her means of getting revenge against her ex was to physically abuse both their children. She would do things such as force them to sit outside in the freezing cold for hours at a time. She would choke her older son, ( I’ll call Joseph ) while swearing at him and cursing his father. Because of her physically and verbally abusive behavior, Joseph learned to hate females.
Because of how his mother abused him and his little brother, Joseph detests the female gender with an unforgiving passion. Like his mother had been drilling in his ears for years, he followed in the footsteps of his father. He got a female pregnant while in high school, but instead of abandoning her and baby like his dad, he married her. Not because he loved her, but to prove his mother wrong. Joseph had taken on the same vengeful and abusive spirit as his mom.
In less than two weeks after saying, “I do!” he physically assaulted his new bride. He has been abusing her ever since. Even at my behest, his wife refused to file charges. She felt as though she could change him. Their little girl will be 5-years-old in 2004 and Joseph has never held a conversation with her because of distrust and hatred of all females. The only things he has said to his daughter is, “Shut up! Didn’t I tell you… No! Sit down and, go get me a…”
Joseph kicked her across the room one night when she attempted to stop him from physically assaulting her mother. Did you comprehend what you just read? You just read how generational curses are started. Even worse, Joseph’s daughter is a likely candidate to believe that all men are dogs and become an angry Black female.
What you are reading are not aberrations. These incidents happen everyday. I could share with you so many other cases and incidents such as the large number of single mothers who for various reasons refuse to divulge to their kids who their true biological father are. These women don’t realize how their callous insensitivity has damaged their children.
I realize that what I’m sharing may be painful and may open up some festering wounds. It may even spark some dissenting and harsh responses. However, until we openly deal with this issue by shining the Light of God’s Word upon it, healing can never come. And the devastating curse of misogynistic men and angry boys will continue.
Some of you will read this article and say, “What about the things the men are doing and why didn’t you mention how daughters are affected when they don’t have a dad?” I’ll deal with the dishonorable men, deadbeat dads and daughters in another session. I cannot cover all of life’s issues in one article. Right now, our focus is the ten harmful things certain single mothers do to ruin their son’s lives.
If you are a single mother, this is an opportunity for you to look in the mirror of life and ascertain that you are not setting your son up for manhood meltdown. If you answer “Yes” to any of these test questions, make no mistake about it, you are indoctrinating your son for failure. He will develop a corrupted view of manhood, so take these test questions serious.
1. Do You Poison Your Son’s Mind Against His Biological Father?
Some women knowingly and intentionally perform this evil scheme. Others do it unintentionally. While boys are young, this vengeful act seems harmless, but as they grow older, they develop bitterness against their fathers. This root of bitterness, (See Hebrews 12:15 and Romans 3:14) will manifest itself in other areas of these boy’s lives. They play out their parental distress by becoming overtly rebellious, joining gangs, committing crimes and engaging in other self-destructive activities such as domestic violence and homosexuality.
As Founder and CEO of Mastering Manhood, I constantly meet men who were turned against their biological father by their moms. I have listened to men tell how they thought about killing their dads or wanting to hurt him just to get even for being abandoned. In many cases, their dads did not abandon them. Some of these mothers refused to allow the child to interact with his father as a way to punish the boy’s father. These mothers were being plain evil by fueling poisonous lies of child abandonment.
If you are a single mother, don’t speak offensively about your child’s father to your child. Even if it is true! You may be angry at him for not marrying you or for breaking up with you, or for whatever reason. But you must understand; by poisoning your child against his dad, you are accomplishing two damnable feats. You are embedding:
-A spirit of discord into your child’s heart
-A spirit of hatred and malice into your child’s heart
2. Do You Instill In Your Son: “The All Men Are Dogs,” Mentality?
You may hate the father of your child. You may hate all men. You may feel justified in your malice because of how men have treated you. However, all men are not dogs! Good men do exist! A portion of the men who become dogs were trained to be that way by their disgruntled mothers. These boys listen to their moms speak hypercritically, denounce and condemn all men until they develop a disparaging complex about being a male.
Once those seeds are planted in their impressionable minds and hearts, these boys lose hope about being an honorable man. Their mother’s words become a prophetic utterance. Albeit a negative one. Single moms, you must find ways to encourage your son and put a stop to words and actions that dismantle his vision of being a decent man. All men are not dogs!
http://www.gillistriplett.com/rel101/articles/harmful.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raising Boys Wrong…
In the state of Georgia, as in most urban areas, two thirds of the Black children born, are born to unwed mothers. Most of those boys will grow up to be unproductive men in our society. For irrefutable proof one only needs to examine:
The high school drop out rate amongst boys from single-family homes.
The incarceration statistics for boys raised by single moms.
The mass number of single mothers who have trained their boys to devalue and disrespect the entire female gender
Am I blaming society’s ills on single mothers? No! Am I attacking or demonizing single mothers? A thousand times no! I am dealing with a critical issue that has devastated multiple generations. One that has not been properly dealt with for too long. I have watched this particular group of single mothers reek havoc and sow seeds of discord in the lives of countless children. I had one incident in which a woman, (I’ll call Racine ) was dating a man, she got pregnant by him and they moved in together.
Like many women who give themselves to dishonorable men, Racine assumed that she could change him and that he would eventually marry her. She was so convinced of her abilities to alter his conduct, that she got pregnant, AGAIN! You should know that Racine was in the church while this disgraceful chain of events took place. After their second child, her live-in boyfriend just up and left. He coldly and calculatedly abandoned her and both of their kids.
It is no secret that this is the norm for single women who get pregnant by their boyfriends. But like many women, Racine chose to ignore those irrefutable facts. She somehow believed her situation would be different than the countless single women who are left pregnant and alone every year. Before bolting, her enigmatic lover prepped his family, friends and co-workers not to divulge any information of his whereabouts to his ex.
For three months Racine pleaded with his family and friends to tell her what happened. After constantly listening to her forlorned cries, one of his family members couldn’t take it anymore. She broke down and told Racine the truth. Her Night In Pining Armour had dumped her and hurriedly married some bimbo. When Racine heard the heart traumatizing truth, she promptly joined the (BSMC), Bitter Single Mother’s Club. She turned into an angry and vengeful single mom.
Her means of getting revenge against her ex was to physically abuse both their children. She would do things such as force them to sit outside in the freezing cold for hours at a time. She would choke her older son, ( I’ll call Joseph ) while swearing at him and cursing his father. Because of her physically and verbally abusive behavior, Joseph learned to hate females.
Because of how his mother abused him and his little brother, Joseph detests the female gender with an unforgiving passion. Like his mother had been drilling in his ears for years, he followed in the footsteps of his father. He got a female pregnant while in high school, but instead of abandoning her and baby like his dad, he married her. Not because he loved her, but to prove his mother wrong. Joseph had taken on the same vengeful and abusive spirit as his mom.
In less than two weeks after saying, “I do!” he physically assaulted his new bride. He has been abusing her ever since. Even at my behest, his wife refused to file charges. She felt as though she could change him. Their little girl will be 5-years-old in 2004 and Joseph has never held a conversation with her because of distrust and hatred of all females. The only things he has said to his daughter is, “Shut up! Didn’t I tell you… No! Sit down and, go get me a…”
Joseph kicked her across the room one night when she attempted to stop him from physically assaulting her mother. Did you comprehend what you just read? You just read how generational curses are started. Even worse, Joseph’s daughter is a likely candidate to believe that all men are dogs and become an angry Black female.
What you are reading are not aberrations. These incidents happen everyday. I could share with you so many other cases and incidents such as the large number of single mothers who for various reasons refuse to divulge to their kids who their true biological father are. These women don’t realize how their callous insensitivity has damaged their children.
I realize that what I’m sharing may be painful and may open up some festering wounds. It may even spark some dissenting and harsh responses. However, until we openly deal with this issue by shining the Light of God’s Word upon it, healing can never come. And the devastating curse of misogynistic men and angry boys will continue.
Some of you will read this article and say, “What about the things the men are doing and why didn’t you mention how daughters are affected when they don’t have a dad?” I’ll deal with the dishonorable men, deadbeat dads and daughters in another session. I cannot cover all of life’s issues in one article. Right now, our focus is the ten harmful things certain single mothers do to ruin their son’s lives.
If you are a single mother, this is an opportunity for you to look in the mirror of life and ascertain that you are not setting your son up for manhood meltdown. If you answer “Yes” to any of these test questions, make no mistake about it, you are indoctrinating your son for failure. He will develop a corrupted view of manhood, so take these test questions serious.
1. Do You Poison Your Son’s Mind Against His Biological Father?
Some women knowingly and intentionally perform this evil scheme. Others do it unintentionally. While boys are young, this vengeful act seems harmless, but as they grow older, they develop bitterness against their fathers. This root of bitterness, (See Hebrews 12:15 and Romans 3:14) will manifest itself in other areas of these boy’s lives. They play out their parental distress by becoming overtly rebellious, joining gangs, committing crimes and engaging in other self-destructive activities such as domestic violence and homosexuality.
As Founder and CEO of Mastering Manhood, I constantly meet men who were turned against their biological father by their moms. I have listened to men tell how they thought about killing their dads or wanting to hurt him just to get even for being abandoned. In many cases, their dads did not abandon them. Some of these mothers refused to allow the child to interact with his father as a way to punish the boy’s father. These mothers were being plain evil by fueling poisonous lies of child abandonment.
If you are a single mother, don’t speak offensively about your child’s father to your child. Even if it is true! You may be angry at him for not marrying you or for breaking up with you, or for whatever reason. But you must understand; by poisoning your child against his dad, you are accomplishing two damnable feats. You are embedding:
-A spirit of discord into your child’s heart
-A spirit of hatred and malice into your child’s heart
2. Do You Instill In Your Son: “The All Men Are Dogs,” Mentality?
You may hate the father of your child. You may hate all men. You may feel justified in your malice because of how men have treated you. However, all men are not dogs! Good men do exist! A portion of the men who become dogs were trained to be that way by their disgruntled mothers. These boys listen to their moms speak hypercritically, denounce and condemn all men until they develop a disparaging complex about being a male.
Once those seeds are planted in their impressionable minds and hearts, these boys lose hope about being an honorable man. Their mother’s words become a prophetic utterance. Albeit a negative one. Single moms, you must find ways to encourage your son and put a stop to words and actions that dismantle his vision of being a decent man. All men are not dogs!
