Are you Unbreakable?

[Aragon034]

After reading the Health Insurance poll thread. I have realized i am Bruce Willis. I am Unbreakable.

Proof. I have survived events that few would deem casual.

These include, Explosions, Car Accidents, Chemical Poisoning, Falls, Fires, Smoke Inhalation.

I've been to the hospital enough times that 2 nurses know me by name. And each time i went, i end up with a clean bill of health.

In fact, just like Bruce, i have only 1 weakness. My eyes. But that is being fixed.

Explosion: Ocy-Acetylene leak while welding, blew up with enough force to knock me out and throw me back. Injuries: Singed eyebrows. Hospital time: none

Car Accident 1: Hit by cadillac when 5 years old. hospital time. 3 hours

Car Accident 2: Hit by sedan, when 15 years old. Injuries: sore butt, scraped knees Hospital Time: None

Car Accident 3: Hit by slow moving Semi-Truck, knocked the wind out of me, but got up and walked away. Injuries: a little sore Hospital Time: None.

Crazy Stunts: Various Jackass Related events, the ones where it says "Don't be an idiot and imitate these guys" Best one was jumping out of a 'flying' van we were joyriding. hit the ground at around 40Kph and got up cheering.

Chemical Poisoning: At age 8, decided to experiment with Vinegar and Baking Soda. Unfortunately, my mom decided to reuse the vinegar bottle and fill it with chlorine. And instead of soda, i used baking powder. Chlorine + Baking Powder - same gas used in WW1 at Ypres. mom found me on bathroom floor.poison control was called, paramedics checked me, my body cleared it within 6 hours. Now that i remember it and have more experience, it felt like a hangover.

Falls: Plenty of these, out of trees, down hills, through a house once (that was a good one) total time off my feet, maybe an hour with a sore ankle.

Fire+Smoke Inhalation: Accidentally caused a grease fire, i put it out with water (not too smart)
and ended up in the hospital. Total Hospital time + ambulance = 4 hours. Injuries: The fresh taste of burnt drywall in my mouth for a few days.

My parents tell me there are more, but aren't saying. they want to discourage my dangerous habits

I can't be alone! There must be other superheros out there! I'll even take Supervillains!

 

[WesCottII]

Superhero, no.

Clumsy, lucky retard, yes.

 

[Desert Fox]

You're a dumbass.

You probably have severe damage to several of your internal organs from what you've just told us.

Again the fact that you (a) have done this dumb sh1t repeatedly, and (b) are somehow proud of it is a testament to how retarded you are.

Here's another one you probably survived:

Your parents drop kicking you when you were a baby.

 

[Ken785]

After reading the Health Insurance poll thread. I have realized i am Bruce Willis. I am Unbreakable.

Proof. I have survived events that few would deem casual.

These include, Explosions, Car Accidents, Chemical Poisoning, Falls, Fires, Smoke Inhalation.

I've been to the hospital enough times that 2 nurses know me by name. And each time i went, i end up with a clean bill of health.

In fact, just like Bruce, i have only 1 weakness. My eyes. But that is being fixed.

Explosion: Ocy-Acetylene leak while welding, blew up with enough force to knock me out and throw me back. Injuries: Singed eyebrows. Hospital time: none

Car Accident 1: Hit by cadillac when 5 years old. hospital time. 3 hours

Car Accident 2: Hit by sedan, when 15 years old. Injuries: sore butt, scraped knees Hospital Time: None

Car Accident 3: Hit by slow moving Semi-Truck, knocked the wind out of me, but got up and walked away. Injuries: a little sore Hospital Time: None.

Crazy Stunts: Various Jackass Related events, the ones where it says "Don't be an idiot and imitate these guys" Best one was jumping out of a 'flying' van we were joyriding. hit the ground at around 40Kph and got up cheering.

Chemical Poisoning: At age 8, decided to experiment with Vinegar and Baking Soda. Unfortunately, my mom decided to reuse the vinegar bottle and fill it with chlorine. And instead of soda, i used baking powder. Chlorine + Baking Powder - same gas used in WW1 at Ypres. mom found me on bathroom floor.poison control was called, paramedics checked me, my body cleared it within 6 hours. Now that i remember it and have more experience, it felt like a hangover.

Falls: Plenty of these, out of trees, down hills, through a house once (that was a good one) total time off my feet, maybe an hour with a sore ankle.

Fire+Smoke Inhalation: Accidentally caused a grease fire, i put it out with water (not too smart)
and ended up in the hospital. Total Hospital time + ambulance = 4 hours. Injuries: The fresh taste of burnt drywall in my mouth for a few days.

My parents tell me there are more, but aren't saying. they want to discourage my dangerous habits

I can't be alone! There must be other superheros out there! I'll even take Supervillains!

You know after reading this thread...my first initial reaction was to bash you for being a dumbas$, or bash you because you're trolling.

But now that i think about it. I don't know if it is just a lame attempt at comedy, but you posting this outrageous dorky stuff tells me you really need some inner game help man.

YOU ARE A DORK. I am not saying that to make fun of you either.

Think about it, would you say this to a supermodel chick when you meet her? You think acting like a 13 year old is going to help you get her to spread her legs for you?

You think this dorky dialog is going to make you come off as cool and smooth as a DJ should be?

Evolve into a better MATURE man brother...learn to be funny the right way and don't say something retarded...that sounded like something a 12 year old would write. - Ken785

 

[Huffman]

Do that stuff all you like - but bragging really doesn't do the trick

 

[BlakeW5]

Well, apparently everyone just wants to hate on you. Anyway, I too have been through all kinds of crazy accidents and walked away completely unhurt from each of them. In total: 5 car wrecks, jumped off the top of a two story house (someone told me it was impossible to not get hurt, had to prove him wrong), fell from a tree, had my leg ran over by both a full-size truck and a lawnmower, and that's just a taste of some of the crazy things I've had happen to me.

Car Wreck #1= Plowed a ford focus through a fence row at 60mph after the front tire blew out. I took out seventy feet of fence and 3-4 trees that were about 10-12 inches in diameter. The last tree went through the front wheel well into the cab and 6 inches from my face. The car was demolished, the tow truck pulled it out in three pieces. I walked away totally unscathed.

Wreck #2= Hydroplaned a camaro on the interstate at 75 mph. Slammed into and bounced off a guard rail only to land perfectly in the center lane (sheer luck). Good thing too, because the oncoming traffic would have had a very hard time stopping

Wreck #3= Driving a '97 Mitsubishi eclipse. A young girl ran a red light and basically chopped off the front of my car (front wheels and forward). It literally came right off! No injuries

Wreck #4= Trail riding with my buddy in his older body style bronco. He hit an embankment and rolled it 5 times (so I was told by the people behind us). He got f-ed up, I walked away clean.

Wreck #5= Got rear ended by an old man at a stop sign. No injuries. It wasn't really anything major though so I don't like counting it.

House Jumping= Jumped off the peak of the roof on a two-story house to prove it could be done without injury (stupid I know). Hit the ground, rolled, walked away.

Tree falling= When younger I climbed a tree in my grandmothers back yard. Slipped and fell backwards for probably 14 feet. I hit EVERY major branch on the way down only to land flat on my back on a picnic table. I was a lil shook-up but otherwise ok.

Run-over= I had my shin ran over by a full size truck after I slipped in the mud. Scared the hell out of me, but no injuries or even bruises for that matter. Also got our zero-turn Grasshopper mower stuck in the mud once. My sister manned the controls while dad and I pulled it out. He was pushing from the back and I was pulling the front wheels. It freed up and instead of stopping my sister kept going, running my left leg over up to my hip. Thankfully the blades had been turned off.

So I'm fairly bullet-proof as well. I don't go out looking for trouble but when something bad happens I've always walked away ok. I'm 25 and have never had any broken bones, serious injuries, or any illness beyond strep throat or the common cold. The worst I've ever had were superficial scrapes and cuts (and a few bruises).

 

[amoka]

That reminds me of the day I buzzed and passed out beyond recovery for 10 hours.....

 

[Aragon034]

Well, apparently everyone just wants to hate on you. Anyway, I too have been through all kinds of crazy accidents and walked away completely unhurt from each of them. In total: 5 car wrecks, jumped off the top of a two story house (someone told me it was impossible to not get hurt, had to prove him wrong), fell from a tree, had my leg ran over by both a full-size truck and a lawnmower, and that's just a taste of some of the crazy things I've had happen to me.

Car Wreck #1= Plowed a ford focus through a fence row at 60mph after the front tire blew out. I took out seventy feet of fence and 3-4 trees that were about 10-12 inches in diameter. The last tree went through the front wheel well into the cab and 6 inches from my face. The car was demolished, the tow truck pulled it out in three pieces. I walked away totally unscathed.

Wreck #2= Hydroplaned a camaro on the interstate at 75 mph. Slammed into and bounced off a guard rail only to land perfectly in the center lane (sheer luck). Good thing too, because the oncoming traffic would have had a very hard time stopping

Wreck #3= Driving a '97 Mitsubishi eclipse. A young girl ran a red light and basically chopped off the front of my car (front wheels and forward). It literally came right off! No injuries

Wreck #4= Trail riding with my buddy in his older body style bronco. He hit an embankment and rolled it 5 times (so I was told by the people behind us). He got f-ed up, I walked away clean.

Wreck #5= Got rear ended by an old man at a stop sign. No injuries. It wasn't really anything major though so I don't like counting it.

House Jumping= Jumped off the peak of the roof on a two-story house to prove it could be done without injury (stupid I know). Hit the ground, rolled, walked away.

Tree falling= When younger I climbed a tree in my grandmothers back yard. Slipped and fell backwards for probably 14 feet. I hit EVERY major branch on the way down only to land flat on my back on a picnic table. I was a lil shook-up but otherwise ok.

Run-over= I had my shin ran over by a full size truck after I slipped in the mud. Scared the hell out of me, but no injuries or even bruises for that matter. Also got our zero-turn Grasshopper mower stuck in the mud once. My sister manned the controls while dad and I pulled it out. He was pushing from the back and I was pulling the front wheels. It freed up and instead of stopping my sister kept going, running my left leg over up to my hip. Thankfully the blades had been turned off.

So I'm fairly bullet-proof as well. I don't go out looking for trouble but when something bad happens I've always walked away ok. I'm 25 and have never had any broken bones, serious injuries, or any illness beyond strep throat or the common cold. The worst I've ever had were superficial scrapes and cuts (and a few bruises).

The day will come when the world will need us. Be ready.

 

[Upside]

Join the army, no joke. You won't even get shot and if you do it will probably just be the the arm and you'll live anyway.

 

[Wiesman44]

The day will come when the world will need us. Be ready.

put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. If you don't die, I might believe you.

 

[PRMoon]

I have great health insurance. And since i do I never seem to get hurt or sick these days. It's irony at it's finest.

 

[Triple T]

This thread is amusing.

 

[Upside]

Now the question is wolf...

what death actually like? Hell, heaven, or is it like sleeping?

 

[Aragon034]

lol some of you need a little less starch in your boxers

Wolf, what was that like? Do you remember alot about it or was it just too long ago? I'm intrigued.

And yes, i know i'm not bruce willis, i just forget the name of the character (David something).

And hey, let's not forget Samuel L Jackson's character, even as a easy potential cripple he was a BAD ass motha****a!

 

[oakraiderz2]

Your name should be goofy nuts. Cool that you are clumsy and survived, but its a little arrogant to thing youre invincible or "unbreakable."

 

[Desdinova]

Aragon034
Senior Don Juan

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: T-dot
Age: 21

All that 5hit will catch up to you in your 30s. Trust me.

 

[Ken785]

put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. If you don't die, I might believe you.

second.

 

[The Bat]

But I have survived the worst of all of you... death... Apparently I was clinically dead for 5 minutes and came back to life. I kinda remember it too, everything echoed out to black (last words: I love you [to family] lol), and I saw my family by my bed from the ceiling, kinda dream-like and weird to think about. Tons of CT scans, and doctors diagnosed me with meningitis. Regained sight from blindness, and I am totally all fine and dandy... I was also 5 at the time.

And you remember the near-death experience exactly how?

Anyway, good stories Aragon. Makes for an entertaining conversation when out for drinks. Just don't think you are unbreakable though. Think of yourself as a lucky bastard.