Are you truly Happy? My long rambling about myself.

AriMamba

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Warning! This would be a long post...


Approximately 5 years ago I was in high school. I frequented the forums and the many articles in the hopes of finding the key to success with women. Although enlightened by thsociety vast majority if knowledge i went my whole senior year without touching a female.

I would still frequent the site untill i joined the military right after highschool. But once i was out of bootcamp and found some time i would still frequent it. Eventually i slowly ditched the forums and started to venture into online dating. I always hated them but since every guys was talking about all the women they pulled because of it and the popularity it gained i decided to try it.

I met this girl in OKC and she was 1 year older than me. I was 20 at the time and I lost my virginity to her. To not bore you with the details we are going to skip some stuff. We stopped talking or rather she stopped talking with me because it seemed I couldn’t learn everything this forums had to offer and i was overly attached and very possessive. But then after here I would encounter my first and only Girlfriend. We were together for about 4 months before She broke up with me. Initially i broke up with her. Then i decided to get back with her almost immediately then she broke up with me twic before ending it for good.

I died.

No seriously I was a mess after that. Took me almost 3 years to forget about her. (Broke up around august 2014)
The worst part is that is not like I didn’t get laid or found other women but i just couldn’t forget her. I would drunk text and call her every other month for the next year. Then i would delete here from my social media then add her back. Eventually I stopped for a while until this year when i checked up on her and she has a bf and she looks happy.

Now thats not the reason I write this thread. But rather to show how far I have come in this journey. Ever since her i have had a lot of sex with different women. And recently this year i discovered that apparently I’m hot as **** and had multiple one night stands and met lots of women in clubs of whatnot( ok maybe not but definitely this year i have ****ed more women than the past 2 years combined. And also understand I thought one night stands would be impossible for me for what ever reason)

It got to a point where my friends would get mad at me and wouldn’t want me to go out with them because they were scared i would take women from them. (If you have made it this far I thank you for your patience I’m about to explain the title soon)

However even with this newfound success and confidence in getting women. I’m still not happy. You see i mentioned the Military right? Well after my gf broke up with me I wasn’t the same. And i was very angry with the world. I got in trouble constantly while in training and although I made it to the fleet my problems didn’t stop there. I would always chase women thinking they were the key to my happiness. Taking everything else for granted. My job, my life and happiness. All for a woman that doesn’t exist. In my mind i was really good at anything life threw me except for women. So i chases and chased. Eventually I got kicked out and i never been the same.

The reason I joined was to pay for college. But with the type of discharge I got I am not eligible for it. Funny though right after I get kicked out is like women discovered me and I had so much success. But I wasn’t happy. I am 23 year old with no college education and no job. Although I’m still young I’m not where I thought i would be at this point in my life.

I write this in the hopes of finding similar stories. How long did it take you to find out that women are not the key to happiness ? I know this forums preaches that but is only now that I’m realizing it. Is as if Im still waiting for “the one” that would change my mind about women and help me through the struggle.

In conclusion this marks the beginning of me actually TRYING to become a better version of me and no more excuses!!!!

TLDR: life is a ***** then you die.
 

AriMamba

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Apparently after looking at my account it appears i posted last year. And other years before that as well. I definitely don’t remember it. It has been a blur for me ever since I turned 21.lol
 

sazc

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There are a lot of guys who post on these boards who are, or have been, in exactly the same situation as you.

The advice is always the same - focus inward instead of outward. Focus on you. Set personal goals and work toward achieving them. Start/continue going to the gym and improving your physique. Focus on college and what kind of a career you want to have eventually. The rest will follow.
 

bigdave17

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The advice is always the same - focus inward instead of outward. Focus on you. Set personal goals and work toward achieving them. Start/continue going to the gym and improving your physique. Focus on college and what kind of a career you want to have eventually. The rest will follow.
my life is pretty damn close to perfect
- great friends and family
- make nearly 200K a year and have all the standard things of success (big house, nice car)
- good looking face, jacked physique
- fantastic lifestyle (vacation 6 times a year, etc...)

I have absolutely zero dating life. I can't even remember my last date

I hate how you guys tell these people to just take care of their life and dating automatically takes care of itself. It's complete nonsense. Women are much much much harder than you guys make it out to be.
 

sazc

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my life is pretty damn close to perfect
- great friends and family
- make nearly 200K a year and have all the standard things of success (big house, nice car)
- good looking face, jacked physique
- fantastic lifestyle (vacation 6 times a year, etc...)

I have absolutely zero dating life. I can't even remember my last date

I hate how you guys tell these people to just take care of their life and dating automatically takes care of itself. It's complete nonsense. Women are much much much harder than you guys make it out to be.
when you are dealing with someone whom has spun themselves into a depression over females, the BEST advice you can give them it to change focus. they are looking for validation and self esteem from outside sources. no one ever gets solid validation or self esteem from outside sources, that has to come from the inside.

In your case, since you have everything else going on, you need to address your dating issues. what are they?
 

AriMamba

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There are a lot of guys who post on these boards who are, or have been, in exactly the same situation as you.

The advice is always the same - focus inward instead of outward. Focus on you. Set personal goals and work toward achieving them. Start/continue going to the gym and improving your physique. Focus on college and what kind of a career you want to have eventually. The rest will follow.
Yeah My goals are simple. Sing up for community college. Start working out again, although I’m not really overweight not just where i was in my prime.
 

AriMamba

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my life is pretty damn close to perfect
- great friends and family
- make nearly 200K a year and have all the standard things of success (big house, nice car)
- good looking face, jacked physique
- fantastic lifestyle (vacation 6 times a year, etc...)

I have absolutely zero dating life. I can't even remember my last date

I hate how you guys tell these people to just take care of their life and dating automatically takes care of itself. It's complete nonsense. Women are much much much harder than you guys make it out to be.
So are you happy though?? And maybe you are overthinking idk i fell the same way when in in the service. I didn’t have to worry about anything but women never came easy for me as it did other people. It turns out is all in my head.
 

bigdave17

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So are you happy though?? And maybe you are overthinking idk i fell the same way when in in the service. I didn’t have to worry about anything but women never came easy for me as it did other people. It turns out is all in my head.
I'm very happy when I'm not thinking about dating

when I do think about dating, I turn into a lonely miserable mess because I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this giant mess
 

sazc

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I'm very happy when I'm not thinking about dating

when I do think about dating, I turn into a lonely miserable mess because I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this giant mess
List five reasons why dating is so hard for you.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

bigdave17

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List five reasons why dating is so hard for you.
I am not white- I look more South American/Italian/Greek/Spanish/Middle eastern and I live in a wealthy white dominant area. All my friends are white except 2

I don't meet women in my daily routine (in terms of meeting them through friends or work or school)

I live in suburbs - not really by choice but I have a big house, awesome job, family and friends within 10 minutes of me so I can't move

my hobbies are mostly male dominated - videogames, bodybuilding, sports, etc...

I can't give you the other 2. I dunno. I find cold approaching and online dating to be impossible in difficulty level but so do a lot of men
 

sazc

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I am not white- I look more South American/Italian/Greek/Spanish/Middle eastern and I live in a wealthy white dominant area. All my friends are white except 2

I don't meet women in my daily routine (in terms of meeting them through friends or work or school)

I live in suburbs - not really by choice but I have a big house, awesome job, family and friends within 10 minutes of me so I can't move

my hobbies are mostly male dominated - videogames, bodybuilding, sports, etc...

I can't give you the other 2. I dunno. I find cold approaching and online dating to be impossible in difficulty level but so do a lot of men
Okay, now that you have identified some reasons you have difficulty with dating, take a moment and figure out how you are going to solve those.
 

bigdave17

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Okay, now that you have identified some reasons you have difficulty with dating, take a moment and figure out how you are going to solve those.
none of those are really fixable though
 

sazc

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none of those are really fixable though
And, with that attitude, you get to keep complaining about your situation and being a victim. Sounds to me like you just need to accept the situation that you are in and work it to the best of your ability.
 

bigdave17

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And, with that attitude, you get to keep complaining about your situation and being a victim. Sounds to me like you just need to accept the situation that you are in and work it to the best of your ability.
explain to me how those situations are fixable

Living in suburbs for example - my only way around this is to do online dating and look for women that fit my exact parameters but super high quality women like that are wanting somebody so impossibly perfect it would blow your mind.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

sazc

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explain to me how those situations are fixable

Living in suburbs for example - my only way around this is to do online dating and look for women that fit my exact parameters but super high quality women like that are wanting somebody so impossibly perfect it would blow your mind.
You either give up completely, or keep truckin. It doesn't do you any good to be negative **** your situation. Be optimistic and look for solutions
 

skinnyguy

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And, with that attitude, you get to keep complaining about your situation and being a victim. Sounds to me like you just need to accept the situation that you are in and work it to the best of your ability.
He would probably be happier in a small apartment in NY than his “big house” in the middle of nowhere while being surrounded by married white people
 

bigdave17

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He would probably be happier in a small apartment in NY than his “big house” in the middle of nowhere while being surrounded by married white people
I live 45 minutes from Chicago, I'm not in middle of nowhere

I hate to sound materialistic but I can't imagine sacrificing my living situations. I love my house, my beautiful furniture, my fancy luxury car, I love it all. It shouldn't be this impossibly hard to meet a decent female
 

AriMamba

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I am not white- I look more South American/Italian/Greek/Spanish/Middle eastern and I live in a wealthy white dominant area. All my friends are white except 2

I don't meet women in my daily routine (in terms of meeting them through friends or work or school)

I live in suburbs - not really by choice but I have a big house, awesome job, family and friends within 10 minutes of me so I can't move

my hobbies are mostly male dominated - videogames, bodybuilding, sports, etc...

I can't give you the other 2. I dunno. I find cold approaching and online dating to be impossible in difficulty level but so do a lot of men
All right so the not being white I can kind of understand (if you wanna have an idea of how I look think about Drake mixed with Kyrie Irving) however you can use that in your favor I believe. Since you are different you could use that as an opener. But i feel you when i was living in CT i felt the same way but me and my friends would counterattack this by going out of the area. So if you have a car which i assume you do look up any clubs or bars at least 45 to an hout and a half away from you where the population is less white. But you dont really have to do that. I really think you just need a better circle of friends. Best is to go in groups of threes. You can go to clubs if you want but is not worth the cover charge imo. So bar hoping is good. Get super drunk( but not too much) and that should give you enough confidence to talk to women and forget your issues. Now this is a good way to start but only if done correctly.
 
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