Are you afraid to insult women?

[BeExcellent]

That's a huge insult !

Correct. But it isn't a pithy verbal arrow. It is an action rooted in refusal to tolerate disrespectful behavior. The insult is via action, not words. This is an enormous distinction.

This is massive frame; congruence.

I have stated several times to my boyfriend that wild flirting with scores of women when he is out with me is disrespectful. Mild flirting = Ok. Over the top flirting & touchy feely = Not Ok. Last night we were out. He had a bit to drink and started up the wild flirting. I simply asked him calmly for my car key (I drove) and my ID. I told him I don't appreciate his behavior from a respect standpoint, he began defending & rationalizing and so I said that I was leaving. And I left him there.

He can be a boyfriend or he can be a playboy, but he cannot be both and expect me or any other quality woman to tolerate that behavior.

And yes, I've been fine with a degree of him being flirty. I don't mind it and I'm not jealous about it. But it is a matter of degree, much like alcohol consumption is ok to a degree. It's a behavior that is Ok until it isn't. He is not accustomed to paying attention to the line between what is appropriate & what is not.

I wasn't angry. It's an action borne of my self respect. And if it tanks the relationship...well so be it.

Did he find my leaving insulting? Yup. But I'm not going to complain or insult or say words while my action says I tolerate disrespectful behavior. Not at all. I'm going to ACT from a place of self respect. I am congruent. If he finds that insulting? So be it.

This morning he has already been in contact multiple times apologizing and telling me how much he loves & respects me; how I conduct myself with standards and class; how he doesn't deserve me and how he is an ass hole at times. He knows I am prepared to jettison the relationship based on his behavior. That will be discussed this evening.

I'm sharing all this to illustrate how a conflict can be handled without hurling verbal insults and by handling ones self maturely. I could have spoken insults and picked a fight and created drama. Instead I behaved in a way that concretely confirms my convictions. No making a scene or drama or verbal insults necessary.

 

[guru1000]

We are not this fukin cartoon character cool as fuk, james bond type character, who NEVER loses his chit. EVVVVVVVER!

No one is a cartoon character. But this does not preclude us from striving to be better.

 

[BeExcellent]

Employing silence is the most powerful weapon in your arsenal. Demonstrate through actions, not words, as any diatribe even if successful will cause provide closure in the subject if you walk away or resentment if you stay.

If a women is out of order, withdraw your time, attention, and/or emotional investment. This sends her the message clearly and hits her the hardest.

Concur totally.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This morning he has already been in contact multiple times apologizing and telling me how much he loves & respects me; how I conduct myself with standards and class; how he doesn't deserve me and how he is an ass hole at times. He knows I am prepared to jettison the relationship based on his behavior. That will be discussed this evening.

Yes, Mistress!!!

 

[Urbanyst]

If a girl slapped me, insulted me, or seriously offended me... I would cuss that hoe out EVERYTIME

Some dudes are just OBSSESED with RESPECT.

Who cares if she doesn't respect you, for cussing her out.. How she feels, means fuk all to me at that point.

And why do people come out with chit like 'oh you will come across as being upset or butt hurt'

So what! Guess what, us men do experience emotions of upset or feeling insulted..

We are not this fukin cartoon character cool as fuk, james bond type character, who NEVER loses his chit. EVVVVVVVER!

Blue pill clowns hide their emotions because they are afraid of women.

They need validation and "respect" from women or they can't sleep at night. So they develop fraudulent personalities based on PUA bullsh*t.

LOL.

 

[Urbanyst]

Correct. But it isn't a pithy verbal arrow. It is an action rooted in refusal to tolerate disrespectful behavior. The insult is via action, not words. This is an enormous distinction.

This is massive frame; congruence.

I have stated several times to my boyfriend that wild flirting with scores of women when he is out with me is disrespectful. Mild flirting = Ok. Over the top flirting & touchy feely = Not Ok. Last night we were out. He had a bit to drink and started up the wild flirting. I simply asked him calmly for my car key (I drove) and my ID. I told him I don't appreciate his behavior from a respect standpoint, he began defending & rationalizing and so I said that I was leaving. And I left him there.

He can be a boyfriend or he can be a playboy, but he cannot be both and expect me or any other quality woman to tolerate that behavior.

And yes, I've been fine with a degree of him being flirty. I don't mind it and I'm not jealous about it. But it is a matter of degree, much like alcohol consumption is ok to a degree. It's a behavior that is Ok until it isn't. He is not accustomed to paying attention to the line between what is appropriate & what is not.

I wasn't angry. It's an action borne of my self respect. And if it tanks the relationship...well so be it.

Did he find my leaving insulting? Yup. But I'm not going to complain or insult or say words while my action says I tolerate disrespectful behavior. Not at all. I'm going to ACT from a place of self respect. I am congruent. If he finds that insulting? So be it.

This morning he has already been in contact multiple times apologizing and telling me how much he loves & respects me; how I conduct myself with standards and class; how he doesn't deserve me and how he is an ass hole at times. He knows I am prepared to jettison the relationship based on his behavior. That will be discussed this evening.

I'm sharing all this to illustrate how a conflict can be handled without hurling verbal insults and by handling ones self maturely. I could have spoken insults and picked a fight and created drama. Instead I behaved in a way that concretely confirms my convictions. No making a scene or drama or verbal insults necessary.

Every situation is different BeExcellent.

 

[guru1000]

Have you met a single "natural" that didn't have a huge temper and massive entitlement?

Guru1000.

Though I used to have a temper. As I got older (and smarter), I refined it.

 

[Urbanyst]

Have you met a single "natural" that didn't have a huge temper and massive entitlement?

I don't believe in "naturals".

I believe some men are HOT to women due to their SMV and that female attention/validation makes those men more confident around women.. which leads them to seem like "naturals". Men with personalities that are more COMPATIBLE with more women will have more successful relationships.

You would never call a woman a "natural" would you? Why is that?

 

[Urbanyst]

Your "boyfriend" is an incorrigible player lol. Dump.

@BeExcellent is very much like most men on this forum.

She is delusional about her SMV and tries to punch above her weight. The result is unstable and unsuccessful relationships.

But she wants to come to this forum as if she is some wise "philosopher" who is above so many things and who has nothing new to learn.

As if.

LOL.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I can legit say that a girl has never called me "weirdo, immature, creep, loser" or any of that s*** that is "very common". Maybe it's very common if you act like an a**hole, but I certainly don't find it common.

And if a girl started saying that crap to me, I wouldn't be hanging out with her after that anyway.

Most of the time when someone insults me it's usually because they're projecting their own pathetic lack of self-esteem onto me, rather than anything I lack or have done wrong. So I usually just ignore it and pity them, really.

Or if it deigns a response because it's particularly vexing then they'll get a response. Doesn't matter if it's a man or woman, if someone is being completely unreasonable I will respond to that if necessary.

On the other hand, as I said, 90% of the time it simply isn't worth it regardless of the gender of those who are "insulting" you. If you behave in a moral way and have high self-esteem, you'll find that most people insulting you have serious problems and insecurities of their own already and that's why they're acting like that.

 

[ohrein]

If you're emotionally weak enough to take insults to heart to the point where you want to get into a power struggle, you've got bigger problems than interpersonal relationships.

 

[Urbanyst]

I can legit say that a girl has never called me "weirdo, immature, creep, loser" or any of that s*** that is "very common". Maybe it's very common if you act like an a**hole, but I certainly don't find it common.

And if a girl started saying that crap to me, I wouldn't be hanging out with her after that anyway.

Most of the time when someone insults me it's usually because they're projecting their own pathetic lack of self-esteem onto me, rather than anything I lack or have done wrong. So I usually just ignore it and pity them, really.

Or if it deigns a response because it's particularly vexing then they'll get a response. Doesn't matter if it's a man or woman, if someone is being completely unreasonable I will respond to that if necessary.

On the other hand, as I said, 90% of the time it simply isn't worth it regardless of the gender of those who are "insulting" you. If you behave in a moral way and have high self-esteem, you'll find that most people insulting you have serious problems and insecurities of their own already and that's why they're acting like that.

I thought you had me on ignore. That was short lol.

Don't pretend you know jack about the reasons why people insult you. That's some blue pill crap.

Furthermore.. the reason doesn't matter. What's important is you punish anyone who f*cks with you.

 

[Urbanyst]

If you're emotionally weak enough to take insults to heart to the point where you want to get into a power struggle, you've got bigger problems than interpersonal relationships.

More blue pill sh*t.

Ironically.. with a passive aggressive insult baked right in lol.

 

[ohrein]

More blue pill sh*t.

Ironically.. with a passive aggressive insult baked right in lol.

Not at all, it's genuine concern. I think my obsession with how others perceived me fueled my depression and anxiety for over a decade. It's not healthy to allow other people to freely affect your emotions. I also don't see how it's "blue pill". I swear you're just trolling at this point. I'm talking about self control and self esteem. It has nothing to do with biological truths.

 

[Urbanyst]

Not at all, it's genuine concern. I think my obsession with how others perceived me fueled my depression and anxiety for over a decade. It's not healthy to allow other people to freely affect your emotions. I also don't see how it's "blue pill". I swear you're just trolling at this point. I'm talking about self control and self esteem. It has nothing to do with biological truths.

I'm also talking about self-esteem.

The point from the start was "justice". It was never about taking insults to heart to the point where you want to get into a power struggle. No one said any of that sh*t.

 

[ohrein]

I'm also talking about self-esteem.

The point from the start was "justice". It was never about taking insults to heart to the point where you want to get into a power struggle. No one said any of that sh*t.

And what does justice have to do with red pill? If anything, red pill is an understanding that dating can not be just, due to the subconscious nature of attraction.

If you are chasing "justice" over some words, I'd say you are taking it to heart. Maybe not the actual content, but you are giving someones words enough weight to want to react. I'm all for justice, especially for serious moral wrongs, but I can't help thinking people would be happier if they could learn how to ignore other peoples words. Again, if they're lying about you or saying things that could impact your life or business, then absolutely go for it. If it's just childish insults, ignore.

 

[AJ84]

Read this whole thread. What stood out to me is a 24 yr who is capable of debating without resorting to insults and name calling and a 33 yr who calls everyone who doesn't agree with him 'blue pill'.

Vastly different maturity levels.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I thought you had me on ignore. That was short lol.

Don't pretend you know jack about the reasons why people insult you. That's some blue pill crap.

Furthermore.. the reason doesn't matter. What's important is you punish anyone who f*cks with you.

Occasionally some of your threads pop up when I'm logged off, curiosity gets the better of me I can't resist having a peek in. To be fair to you, I have no beef with this type of thread, it's only the LMS rant YT vid threads that get my goat.

Leaving that aside, in all seriousness, sometimes you have some guy who is physically insignificant or clearly unintelligent pick a fight with you out of jealousy, and it's very very obvious. I don't think it's blue pill to see the weaknesses of others and realise that's why they act like d*uchebags.

Seeing these weaknesses just means you have an analytical mind, and in actuality it's very useful for verbally destroying people who are acting like idiots because you can counter them completely.

Perfect example I said in another thread: I once had some fat, ugly shorta*s come over to me in a bar randomly and start slinging insults at me. If he was a tall, strong, handsome man he wouldn't have felt the need to do that. It was because he was short, ugly and physically weak that he felt he had something to prove by talking s***.

People try to make up for insecurities with insults and jealousy, it happens a lot. Not always, but a lot of the time that's why people are confrontational. Both men and women.

 

[Urbanyst]

And what does justice have to do with red pill? If anything, red pill is an understanding that dating can not be just, due to the subconscious nature of attraction.

If you are chasing "justice" over some words, I'd say you are taking it to heart. Maybe not the actual content, but you are giving someones words enough weight to want to react. I'm all for justice, especially for serious moral wrongs, but I can't help thinking people would be happier if they could learn how to ignore other peoples words. Again, if they're lying about you or saying things that could impact your life or business, then absolutely go for it. If it's just childish insults, ignore.

The stuff in bold is what makes your post blue pill.

Sounds great on paper but its just no realistic. Humans are social and cannot completely ignore each others thoughts, words, options, etc. without any emotional reaction whatsoever.

Sounds awesome. But not realistic.

 

[Urbanyst]

Occasionally some of your threads pop up when I'm logged off, curiosity gets the better of me I can't resist having a peek in. To be fair to you, I have no beef with this type of thread, it's only the LMS rant YT vid threads that get my goat.

Leaving that aside, in all seriousness, sometimes you have some guy who is physically insignificant or clearly unintelligent pick a fight with you out of jealousy, and it's very very obvious. I don't think it's blue pill to see the weaknesses of others and realise that's why they act like d*uchebags.

Seeing these weaknesses just means you have an analytical mind, and in actuality it's very useful for verbally destroying people who are acting like idiots because you can counter them completely.

Perfect example I said in another thread: I once had some fat, ugly shorta*s come over to me in a bar randomly and start slinging insults at me. If he was a tall, strong, handsome man he wouldn't have felt the need to do that. It was because he was short, ugly and physically weak that he felt he had something to prove by talking s***.

People try to make up for insecurities with insults and jealousy, it happens a lot. Not always, but a lot of the time that's why people are confrontational. Both men and women.

That's fair.

I have to admit this holds up. For me.. even on this forum.. some posters will get a reaction out of me while others I will completely ignore the majority of the time.

Case and point I pretty much ignore anything @ImTheDoubleGreatest! says. When he/she posts in my threads I usually pass right over them and when posts from him/her are directed at me, I rarely read them unless they are very short.