Are you a "quiet guy" amongst groups? (serious)

[The_Reaper]

Could you discuss the way groups of friends when together, say playing poker or hanging out, are usually pretty talkative - they share stories, have their say, talk almost repeatedly, that kind of thing. But I find myself naturally quiet and wanting to just listen on the sidelines, laughing at their jokes and commenting, but not addressing the group often, not telling stories or jokes. It is an effort for me. Naturally I feel inclined to just remain quiet. This happens after some time - I have a low threshold in which I feel sociable, then it becomes a taxing effort to keep talking.

Can anyone relate to this? I want to be able to speak up better, to actually want to tell stories, that kind of thing, but I'm usually quiet and absorbed in my thoughts.

 

[Solarium]

I normally only feel that among people I'm not totally comfortable with. I have a feeling that in order to be a good DJ, you must change yourself with a snap of a finger into a really talkative DJ whenever at your whim. I remember reading DoubleYourDating awhile ago and there's a passage saying how we should all condition ourselves to become suddenly confident/alphamale-ish with a signal, like a little something you do to prep yourself up before sarging someone who you normally have not enough confidence to.

 

[Hitman10000]

I normally only feel that among people I'm not totally comfortable with. I have a feeling that in order to be a good DJ, you must change yourself with a snap of a finger into a really talkative DJ whenever at your whim. I remember reading DoubleYourDating awhile ago and there's a passage saying how we should all condition ourselves to become suddenly confident/alphamale-ish with a signal, like a little something you do to prep yourself up before sarging someone who you normally have not enough confidence to.

Yeah but you're faking it, the trouble with that is when you and the girl enter into a relationship, obviously the truth will arise that you're not that all talkative.

 

[n00bPimp]

Trying to be an extrovert can be exhausting.
Introverts like being alone, they would rather be alone watching a movie or hanging out with a friend than going to the club with a group of friends. Its not that they hate them, but social interactions drains introverts of energy.

This is in contrast with extroverts who are quickly bored when being alone and always seek to be out there getting the attention of the public. So to become an extrovert you would have to rewire your whole system, force yourself to enjoy things which you really dont and give up the things that you really like doing.