Are women really THAT bad?

[titansremember]

Hey guys, I've been lurking this site for a few years, consulting it every now and then and it's been a really big help. I'll admit, I'm a little drunk and alone right now, and I'm in really intense ponderous thought. But I'm thinking, are women really the manipulative, conniving b*tches we men say they are? Please, let me elaborate.

Before I can make my point, I need to tell this quick story you probably don't care about, but illustrates my perspective fairly well. My LTR has been going strong for 2 months and I honestly can't complain. And she's great, you know? This girl is absolutely beautiful, doesn't complain, doesn't talk ****, very independent and mature, and the sex is just... awesome.

However, it's come to a point where me and her have to be a part for a few weeks (winter break from college). And although we still communicate, I worry a little bit, about her feelings, whether she might cheat and such. And when I go on the internet to try to find peace of mind, all I see are articles saying things like "WHY YOUR WOMAN WANTS TO CHEAT ON YOU AND WON'T SAY ANYTHING" and "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEAT ON YOU." And I'm like... really? We've been having a perfectly good relationship where we can trust each other and be honest, and now I have to worry about whether she's cheating on me? Is this all really necessary?

Maybe that wasn't the best way to illustrate my point, but what I'm trying to say is, I don't think women are just subordinate beings who lose their free will whenever an emotional whim comes up. I mean, as a guy, when I see a hot girl, I don't give in to "my inner passions" and hit on her regardless. I'm a human being, capable of higher thinking and morals, and I'm sure women are the same. Right? If a woman plays games or puts you through wierd sh*t, she's clearly not worth having, regardless of how hot she is, of course. But when we find one girl who we really think has their head screwed on right, we shouldn't have to put them in the same class as these other bimbos. Maybe there really are some women that are really worth trusting.

Sorry, maybe I'm on a rant or something. I've never been in a temporary long distance situation, so I'm a little on edge. I'm hoping to hear your guys's thoughts. I know we as men should go about our own lives and work on ourselves, but at some point in your life, you, like me, may meet a woman who makes you think, "Maybe there is hope for the human race!"

 

[st_99]

If you're worried thats probably because you have reason to be.

 

[rum]

Women are weaker then men, less loyal, and are not as honorable. You know that...that's why you're worried. And yes you have reason to be...just because she's a women. Not necessarily because you did anything wrong

 

[f283000]

I think one of our problems which some might say is a good problem is that we as members of sosuave are more attuned to the games and bs that women come with. This in turn lets us see and spot the many flaws that women have thus eliminating a whole range of women as either bpd, bad, red flag etc.

Then after the elimination process we realize we are left with very few quality women if any. So we either end up frustrated because our ideal perfect woman is nowhere to be found (and we complain on sosuave) or we end up getting in relationships with women that we know are going to bring drama into our lives but we have no choice cause a man's gotta get some sooner or later.

btw how can she be your ltr if you have been with her for 2 months??? Unless you meant to type 2 years I would recommend you need to chill out a bit you have only been with her for 2 months.

 

[Aaron B]

are women really the manipulative, conniving b*tches we men say they are?

they are as bad or as good as you allow them to be

 

[titansremember]

btw how can she be your ltr if you have been with her for 2 months??? Unless you meant to type 2 years I would recommend you need to chill out a bit you have only been with her for 2 months.

You're right on this. My word usage is really shoddy, I'll admit it. Not exactly long-term. Just agreed to make it committed 2 months ago.

And it's funny how, after posting and reading a few comments, I realize how weak I've actually been. I definitely need to chill, and believe it or not, this forum is really the only place I'd feel comfortable expressing my insecurities about my relationships. In real life, I'm completely chill, and I never try to bring this stuff up and I never let it get to me. It's only on this forum I seem like a bit of an immature train wreck. I'll do my best not to worry. For I'm sure it would be a completely utter downfall if I tried to bring this up with my gf haha. Thanks for a nice reality check, f283000.

Any other thoughts would be appreciated.

 

[topcat2001]

I've met some ****ty women and some great women and even the best have a fair bit of subterfuge to them. I remember driving once in my car with a girl I dated who was fairly religious and Kanye West's 'Golddigger" came on and she was like ' there is a bit of that in every woman'. I mean are they really going to tell you they are attracted to one of your friends or that a particular guy friend is just a backup in case things dont work out with you two. This is not necessarily a fault but it is just a part of the feminine. There are many ways to deal with it. Probably the best is to embrace it. I am still working on it but it is certainly difficult because your biological impulses drive you to jealousy.

 

[Zodiac]

Yes. Yes they are.

 

[backbreaker]

women aren't bad, they are just different. they don't think, react or reason the same way men do, and that's the way nature intended it to be.

Men get frustrated bedcase these women are not like them, and call them bad.

I equate men and women to violins and violas. They have different strings (violin has E, A, D, G, viola has A, D, G, C), if you play one exactly like you play the other, you will get 2 totally different songs, if you put your fingers in the exact same place on both instruments. but once you learn where the strings are on a viola and where to place the fingers, how to read the viola music which is na different clef, you can do the exact same thing you can on a violin. You just have to learn learn what the different strings are and how to interpert the music differently.

Too many guys are trying to play the viola, reading music written to play on the violin, then calling the viola a piece of **** because it doesn't sound right.

 

[exile663dfx]

they are as bad or as good as you allow them to be

that

 

[titansremember]

Backbreaker, although I am a music major, your analogy is a little confusing, though profound. Just goes to show how much I know... but anyways!

I think the main point you guys are trying to make is that women being "different" is something men need to deal with. If that's really all that needs to be said, then I can move on to another issue and another thread. A lot of this just seems so hopelessly simple.

I still have another two weeks before I can see her again. Maybe I'll just play the no contact game then. It's just that she and I have been off to such a nice start, it'd be a shame if we had to end it simply because we couldn't see each other.

 

[backbreaker]

Backbreaker, although I am a music major, your analogy is a little confusing, though profound. Just goes to show how much I know... but anyways!

I think the main point you guys are trying to make is that women being "different" is something men need to deal with. If that's really all that needs to be said, then I can move on to another issue and another thread. A lot of this just seems so hopelessly simple.

I still have another two weeks before I can see her again. Maybe I'll just play the no contact game then. It's just that she and I have been off to such a nice start, it'd be a shame if we had to end it simply because we couldn't see each other.

I've played the violin for my entire childhood, even was in a youth symphony.

they are different, but that doesn't equate bad. they CAN be bad lol, but they are not inherently bad or evil.

you are young, you have been in a 2 month relationship, stop worrying so much. enjoy your vacation. IMHO i would cut back on the contact though. it's actually counterproductive. that's what I mean by 2 different instruments. You are thinking, hey I want to show her I miss her, I want to talk to her and text her every day, that will show her! that's logical, that's how men think. there is nothing wrong with that, it's just not how women think.

you are calling a woman everyday on vacation and she's going to feel smothered and figure you have nothing better to do and that would drive her to want to "have some space"

the best thing you can do in this instance is be proactive, by giving her space. let her wonder what you are doing. only insecure guys worry about what their woman is doing 24 x 7 a day. she needs to be worrying about what YOU are doing.

 

[titansremember]

I've played the violin for my entire childhood, even was in a youth symphony.

they are different, but that doesn't equate bad. they CAN be bad lol, but they are not inherently bad or evil.

you are young, you have been in a 2 month relationship, stop worrying so much. enjoy your vacation. IMHO i would cut back on the contact though. it's actually counterproductive. that's what I mean by 2 different instruments. You are thinking, hey I want to show her I miss her, I want to talk to her and text her every day, that will show her! that's logical, that's how men think. there is nothing wrong with that, it's just not how women think.

you are calling a woman everyday on vacation and she's going to feel smothered and figure you have nothing better to do and that would drive her to want to "have some space"

the best thing you can do in this instance is be proactive, by giving her space. let her wonder what you are doing. only insecure guys worry about what their woman is doing 24 x 7 a day. she needs to be worrying about what YOU are doing.

Ever have that moment where you think you're doing something right, then someone else comes along and shows you just how WRONG you were all this time?

I'd go a day or two without contact, then I'd text or call or something just to show I hadn't gone cold. I guess I was, in a sense, trying to show her how much I "cared." Nevertheless, backbreaker, you've definitely changed my perspective, and for that I am so, sooooo thankful.

 

[GameTime76]

I've played the violin for my entire childhood, even was in a youth symphony.

they are different, but that doesn't equate bad. they CAN be bad lol, but they are not inherently bad or evil.

you are young, you have been in a 2 month relationship, stop worrying so much. enjoy your vacation. IMHO i would cut back on the contact though. it's actually counterproductive. that's what I mean by 2 different instruments. You are thinking, hey I want to show her I miss her, I want to talk to her and text her every day, that will show her! that's logical, that's how men think. there is nothing wrong with that, it's just not how women think.

you are calling a woman everyday on vacation and she's going to feel smothered and figure you have nothing better to do and that would drive her to want to "have some space"

the best thing you can do in this instance is be proactive, by giving her space. let her wonder what you are doing. only insecure guys worry about what their woman is doing 24 x 7 a day. she needs to be worrying about what YOU are doing.

I Agree with Backbreaker, Good Post.

 

[backbreaker]

Ever have that moment where you think you're doing something right, then someone else comes along and shows you just how WRONG you were all this time?

I'd go a day or two without contact, then I'd text or call or something just to show I hadn't gone cold. I guess I was, in a sense, trying to show her how much I "cared." Nevertheless, backbreaker, you've definitely changed my perspective, and for that I am so, sooooo thankful.

and sometimes, you just need a f'ing break from someone, not a break up brteak just a regular ass break.

do you you have any guy friends.. you ever go through a perioud where you just dont' hang out for like a week or so or 2 weeks or so or a month or so or whatever. not beucase you hate them, or beucase they did antying.. you are just.. you want to do something else at that time. you want somme space. you don't worry about what they are doing the entire time, they are doing their thing. then one day you call them up and it's all good.

it will make your relationship STRONGER if you can go on breaks without talking to someone. My wife's brother lives in Arizona and she goes to see him about once every 2 months and will be gone for days at a time, and we rarely talk to each other when she's gone. i know she isn't doing anything, last thing on my mind but god damn we live under the same room, let a ##### breathe lol. And I'm quite sure she feels the same way. and when she walks back tough the door we are all over each other. let her miss you. just like weight lifting, you get bigger/stronger when you are resting, not when you are working out. stop working out and let your relationship rest, let her do her thing. she will be all over you like white on rice when she gets back. and you will genuinely miss her and she will miss you.

 

[floydb25]

Titan: That's because it IS so hopelessly simple. It really is. Certain (crazy) women just make things more complicated, which confuses the guy. But some guys like the difficult, bratty, immature, game-playing women. They like complications and difficulties and bimbos.

It depends on the kind of girl, really. A crazy girl will make you think all women are crazy, manipulative, evil, etc, because of all the insane things they do to you on a daily basis. But, none of that applies to the decent ones.

Everything should be taken as a lesson learned. It's good to know what the bad ones do - because it allows you to spot, and avoid them easier. You kind of HAVE to learn this the hard way, and get burned by one or ten - depending on how quickly you realize and change your patterns.

It's not good to generalize based on these crazy *****es, and thinking this is how all women are. Otherwise, you expect everyone to be a crazy *****, and end up attracting crazy *****es left and right. Or, you pull the same bull**** on a decent girl - thinking she's a crazy ***** - only to find her running for the hills. Oh, but the crazy ***** will flock right to you - because that's exactly what she responds to.

 

[princesimba]

they are as bad or as good as you allow them to be

please elaborate? this is an interesting topic and i wish i would appreciate any solid backed answers to this thread

women aren't bad, they are just different. they don't think, react or reason the same way men do, and that's the way nature intended it to be.

Men get frustrated bedcase these women are not like them, and call them bad.

I equate men and women to violins and violas. They have different strings (violin has E, A, D, G, viola has A, D, G, C), if you play one exactly like you play the other, you will get 2 totally different songs, if you put your fingers in the exact same place on both instruments. but once you learn where the strings are on a viola and where to place the fingers, how to read the viola music which is na different clef, you can do the exact same thing you can on a violin. You just have to learn learn what the different strings are and how to interpert the music differently.

Too many guys are trying to play the viola, reading music written to play on the violin, then calling the viola a piece of **** because it doesn't sound right.

I think the topic of this thread is not "how to play the viola", but rather "is the viola really that bad?" because if "bad" is defined by how we violins define it, then the violas really do seem to be that bad. Just because there's a different way to play the viola, and most DJ violins here seem to know it, does not make the violas any less "bad".

 

[titansremember]

and sometimes, you just need a f'ing break from someone, not a break up brteak just a regular ass break.

do you you have any guy friends.. you ever go through a perioud where you just dont' hang out for like a week or so or 2 weeks or so or a month or so or whatever. not beucase you hate them, or beucase they did antying.. you are just.. you want to do something else at that time. you want somme space. you don't worry about what they are doing the entire time, they are doing their thing. then one day you call them up and it's all good.

it will make your relationship STRONGER if you can go on breaks without talking to someone. My wife's brother lives in Arizona and she goes to see him about once every 2 months and will be gone for days at a time, and we rarely talk to each other when she's gone. i know she isn't doing anything, last thing on my mind but god damn we live under the same room, let a ##### breathe lol. And I'm quite sure she feels the same way. and when she walks back tough the door we are all over each other. let her miss you. just like weight lifting, you get bigger/stronger when you are resting, not when you are working out. stop working out and let your relationship rest, let her do her thing. she will be all over you like white on rice when she gets back. and you will genuinely miss her and she will miss you.

This makes complete sense to me. I'll appreciate the breaks more and not view them as harmful to the relationship. I like that we're ending this on a positive note instead of dooming the situation to failure... maybe one little AFC slip-up can be forgiven by a decent girl if you give it time.

 

[Racecar]

Every action a woman takes is made in order to satisfy her personal desires. There is purpose behind everything that she does. If a woman wants to attract a man, she will dress in a certain way, say what she thinks he wants to hear and behave in a manner which she believes will provide her with the best possible outcome. As men, we see her clothing, hear her words, judge her actions and are lead to believe her interest is genuine.

The minute you stop satisfying whatever personal desire that attracted her (attention, ego fulfillment, financial security, LTR potential, sex, etc.), she will resume her search and leave you once she finds someone better.

Titansremember, I think it's rare to find a woman who genuinely wants to be with a man for the person that he is. Be careful, but don't be paranoid. Trust the gut.

 

[titansremember]

Gee guys... I made this thread to hopefully find some answers, but it's just making me more and more paranoid. I guess there's nothing to do to control the situation. You just have to live your life and better yourself, right? Nothing else really matters? Is that really the answer to everything on this board? It's just hard to accept once you've got someone to lose. I guess I'm more of an AFC than I thought. I would have never found that out if I hadn't made this thread. Maybe I really have helped myself by searching for answers.