Are women even still open to meeting men the old-fashioned way anymore?

[BackInTheGame78]

Yes, if it's done properly.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I would argue that the method does matter. Most men do not have good photography pictures or model-like pics so women consider them low quality simply by their picture.

As if the women are taking model-like pics.

The average woman on OLD is taking the same tired ass cam-to-face selfies or dirty bathroom/bedroom mirror selfies.

It ain't that serious.

And those pictures/profiles that look of model-like quality...prepare to be catfished.

Meanwhile in real life, women have more of their senses engaged including the anxiety of actually having to encounter someone beyond their phone. This activates many of their biological senses which is a plus for men. Women feeling anything is always good. Even for ugly guys.

I actually agree.

 

[CollegeMan22]

I have had more reception with women in real life. And because they are socially inept and the men around them are, too, they tend to be easy pickings.

This is very true. Men don't know how to talk with women anymore. I rarely overhear any teases or flirts with women.

Most guys are SO EXCITED to SEE A GIRL in front of them. Wow, a woman! Wow, a wet hole! What will I do????

Then they proceed in this happy-go-lucky, super questioning mode, where every one of her answers is followed by a "wow, that's so cool!!".

Do not do this.

Everything is chill. You're just talking to a stranger, just as you would talk to some guy who spots you in the gym. You can comment on their shirt, or make some observation about them. Or, honestly, you can just straight ask their name and then say "I see you often here, so I have to say hi".

The opener really doesn't matter. What matters most is that you open your mouth.

You don't have to dedicate your life to cold approach. I'm going out with a girl tomorrow I "cold approached" in the gym because she was using a machine I had to use. I needed to use it so I asked to switch in with her. Then I got her talking and now we're going out.

You can do the same thing at any social event, or music event, or grocery store. Literally, ask about types of bread if you want. Or what the best flavor of peanuts is. It really doesn't matter. Anything to get her attention will do.

Start off chill, then start flirting with her. Bust her balls a bit (in a playful way).

When I close, I don't ask for her number. I just give her straight eye contact and say "We should go out sometime". Hold the eye contact and wait. If her response is positive, you get her number.

I like cold approach much more than OLD. To me, it's more human. Less swipes and more real conversation. You still fail, but afterwards you always feel proud that you overcame your fear.

 

[Velasco]

Yes they are more than open to meeting guys the old fashioned way. However the issue today is more, their willingness to act upon their attraction. Alcohol helps with that.

 

[I_have_BDE]

As if the women are taking model-like pics.

The average woman on OLD is taking the same tired ass cam-to-face selfies or dirty bathroom/bedroom mirror selfies.

It ain't that serious.

And those pictures/profiles that look of model-like quality...prepare to be catfished.



I actually agree.

90 percent of the women on OLD are not very attractive. Piercings, tats, fat, purple hair. Out and about I see quite a few more hot women. So the whole everyone on OLD is bunk. Yes, women are getting fatter and overall a lot less attractive women, but IRL I still see much more attractive women than I've ever seen on OLD.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

90 percent of the women on OLD are not very attractive. Piercings, tats, fat, purple hair. Out and about I see quite a few more hot women. So the whole everyone on OLD is bunk. Yes, women are getting fatter and overall a lot less attractive women, but IRL I still see much more attractive women than I've ever seen on OLD.

Many of those attractive women IRL are often on OLD, but only for very short periods of time

 

[I_have_BDE]

Many of those attractive women IRL are often on OLD, but only for very short periods of time

Many times they will try a 7 day free trial.

Ironic the older ones are better looking on old. Seems under 30 are the uglier fat ones. Pre wall hot women don't need old like older ones. Dont expect to see old crawling with hot 20 years old.

 

[TheEveningChronograph]

I wouldn't write this option off entirely, just yet.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

It's still a thing, yes. I met my fiance out and about at a live music venue in real life. He was on OLD but I was not, am not, and he would never have met me through OLD channels.

In the 9 years since my divorce I have participated in OLD for a sum total of 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS in 9 years. I got inundated with interest, and found going through unattractive people to be an enormous time sink/waste of time. I had three dates (two dinner dates, one lunch date) from men on OLD, and none of the dudes looked like his photos, and two of the guys had misrepresented their height rather noticeably. Meanwhile they all found that I was much MORE attractive in person than in my photos. Each guy got nervous, acted weird, and utterly disqualified themselves from being anywhere near me. I got through the dates, jettisoned their numbers and got off OLD.

I was like, OK. That is a COMPLETE waste of my time and I'll stick to meeting people in real life where they can't misrepresent themselves and where I can gauge whether or not they have social skills in addition to being physically attractive.

My thought is that if people are good-looking enough and socially adroit enough to meet people IRL they don't need OLD. That goes for men or women. Of course that also means you have to leave your house and make being socially available a priority.

I do notice that younger people tend to go out socially but bury themselves in their devices, which is dumb too. My son who is 20 has actually thanked me for restricting his use of personal electronic devices (thereby teaching him how to conversate and interact with people IRL.) He is the regional sales leader in his company as a part time employee, and he gets asked to teach others the social skills required for his role. He's 20 teaching people older than him how to talk with other people. Crazy, but Gen Z people are not socially adroit as older generations. It's weird.

But ya. IRL approaches are still a good way to go, especially if you are a desirable dude.

 

[I_have_BDE]

Advice from the old lady:

It's still a thing, yes. I met my fiance out and about at a live music venue in real life. He was on OLD but I was not, am not, and he would never have met me through OLD channels.

In the 9 years since my divorce I have participated in OLD for a sum total of 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS in 9 years. I got inundated with interest, and found going through unattractive people to be an enormous time sink/waste of time. I had three dates (two dinner dates, one lunch date) from men on OLD, and none of the dudes looked like his photos, and two of the guys had misrepresented their height rather noticeably. Meanwhile they all found that I was much MORE attractive in person than in my photos. Each guy got nervous, acted weird, and utterly disqualified themselves from being anywhere near me. I got through the dates, jettisoned their numbers and got off OLD.

I was like, OK. That is a COMPLETE waste of my time and I'll stick to meeting people in real life where they can't misrepresent themselves and where I can gauge whether or not they have social skills in addition to being physically attractive.

My thought is that if people are good-looking enough and socially adroit enough to meet people IRL they don't need OLD. That goes for men or women. Of course that also means you have to leave your house and make being socially available a priority.

I do notice that younger people tend to go out socially but bury themselves in their devices, which is dumb too. My son who is 20 has actually thanked me for restricting his use of personal electronic devices (thereby teaching him how to conversate and interact with people IRL.) He is the regional sales leader in his company as a part time employee, and he gets asked to teach others the social skills required for his role. He's 20 teaching people older than him how to talk with other people. Crazy, but Gen Z people are not socially adroit as older generations. It's weird.

But ya. IRL approaches are still a good way to go, especially if you are a desirable dude.

I will say from old the dates I went on, all but one were pretty much the weight I saw in their pics. One woman was hb9 like her pics, another hb8. But both were awkward and horrible personalities. One the date lasted over 3 hours but she complained about her brother and family and being sexually abused by her brother. Who the f*** brings that up on a first date?

The few hot women that are on old seem to have a screw loose, hence forced to use old.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Yes I have just done it very recently

Met random chick in smoking area on night out swapped numbers , chatted turns out she lives 2 hours away

We had good banter and conversation though

She invited me to stay at her house I stayed for 2 nights earlier in the week and we fvcked a good few times, she also lives in a really nice part of England so I got a little holiday out of it too

It was the most random thing ive done in a while and I enjoyed it , not sure the actual realtionship will go much further than FWB but still a good experience

The equivalent on old would have resulted in nothing because we both agreed we probably wouldn't have swiped each other due to OLD being a joke

-------------------------------------

there's a catch 22 with approaching women in IRL and that is not knowing if they are single and there's a VERY high chance she will reject you

IF your ego can handle that and you run through a decent enough sample size you will eventually hit gold

Because the top tier women are not on any apps , they don't need to be also if they are into you they give you a massive amount of brownie points for having the balls to do an IRL approach

I much prefer IRL approaches but they require a lot of skill and resilience

 

[Bigpapa]

It is quite funny how it flipped

I remember when online dating was thought of as weird! People were embarrassed to be using it or telling people they met a girl from plentyoffish etc. It was thought of as a way for semi-undateable people to meet up!

And now it's the other way around! It's the standard. Every hot young girl grew up with social media and online dating. I personally cold approach all the time and would never advise to not do it, but I must admit that you certainly do get a lot of reactions where you can tell she thinks just the fact you're talking to her makes her think you're a bit odd lol. I even have good looking friends who get fairly 'bad' reactions simply because the young girl is so surprised/anxious/shocked/thinks you must be weird for talking too a stranger

If you read the FR's on seddit from some of the Euro guys (Brits mainly) you see lots of FR's where he opens and the girl is like 'Errr...I don't talk to randoms. Bye' and this is in a social environment like a bar! But she doesn't think it's weird for a 'random' to swipe and message her on tinder haha

It'll probably 'flip back' one day. Almost certainly, in fact

They did not like him and used that as an excuse

 

[Bigpapa]

Yes they are more than open to meeting guys the old fashioned way. However the issue today is more, their willingness to act upon their attraction. Alcohol helps with that.

Above average looking women from what I have seen are playing things even tighter on tinder than they would play them in real life.

Most girls that I have talked with rarely actually go out with guys that they meet on tinder ( above average and beyond looking women )

All in all, I kinda feel embarrassment from above average looking women and beyond from women having to be on apps like tinder, and this is why I think they play things even tighter than normally would

Never really heard any stories told by women about guys they met through these apps

Way more common for guys to have stories about apps, but the quality in the vast majority of cases is decent at best

I still think that dating apps are still not that mainstream

Most stories are like “ went out with 2-3 guys but realized that I did not liked them “

If you want quality you still have to rely extensively on IRL game, mainly at events

I have seen a change in night life, where now the vast majority of places have really bad ratios. It used to not be like this prior Covid

On hand this is good as you know where people will go and that the quality will be quite high, on the other hand it is bad as these events do not happen than often ( maybe 2-6 events per month in a big city )

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I'll find out

Going to go out drinking solo tomorrow for the first time in many years and see if I can convince a girl to have me come over to her place and put my penis inside her.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I was like, OK. That is a COMPLETE waste of my time and I'll stick to meeting people in real life where they can't misrepresent themselves and where I can gauge whether or not they have social skills in addition to being physically attractive.

Why is them having social skills so important to you? So you're not embarrased when seen with them? In your mind does lack of social skills mean the guy is a piece of shjt life form? Last I heard, Ted Bundy and many other serial killers were charming and social....

 

[devilkingx2]

Why is them having social skills so important to you? So you're not embarrased when seen with them? In your mind does lack of social skills mean the guy is a piece of shjt life form? Last I heard, Ted Bundy and many other serial killers were charming and social....

1. She probably doesn't want a dude who will embarrass her in public. Imagine dating a girl that's a sloppy drunk or one who's ghetto with a bad temper.

2. Most women are submissive. If a man doesn't know what he's doing with women it will take 11 dates for them to kiss.

3. Unless the relationship is going to be purely sexual, you need somebody with charisma and conversation skills. You're going to spend hours talking to them before sex happens and while you're not having sex, so it's best to be a man with social skills and date a woman who has them too.

4. Most serial killers and perverts have bad social skills. Ted Bundy is famous for a reason, most weirdos look or act like weirdos.

 

[SW15]

I wouldn't write this option off entirely, just yet.

Yes, if it's done properly.

Getting dates in a major city is not an accomplishment. It is likely that most of those dates are "one date, no sex, no second date". "One date, no sex, no second date" is the typical outcome for most swipe app arranged meetings.

In parks and on walking/hiking paths, women tend be using earbuds, avoiding eye contact, and sometimes having RBF (Resting Biatch Face). It's likely that some of those women wearing earbuds and avoiding eye contact have boyfriends/husbands and aren't seeking new penis. I tend to spend time in areas of my city with a higher concentration of unmarried people and I see this. It must be pointed out that unmarried doesn't mean uncoupled so many of the unmarrieds I see likely have boyfriends. The uncertainty surrounding this is rather annoying. I'm sure there are even some unattached women with bad boy language and earbuds.

There have been changes at the gym too, when I consider the general gym floor. I was in college between 2001-2005. In 2003, only the most attractive women (maybe the top 10-15% wore earbuds/headphones with their new iPods/MP3 players at the time). By 2010-2011, about 85-90% of women were wearing earbuds/headphones at the gym and that percentage has stayed constant in my experience since then. The workaround for the earbud/headphone problem at the gym is going to fitness classes. Even fitness classes, despite great ratios, aren't very productive either. A lot of women will start playing on the phones quickly after fitness class ends. Women aren't very sociable in general before or after fitness classes. I have gotten numbers and arranged dates at fitness classes, so it's not impossible. It has a greater degree of difficulty than one would think given the ratios.

The bar scene has always been challenging for a variety of reasons. Those reasons can be found on other threads.

Hobby groups/co-ed sports leagues are challenging. Mostly every guy in a co-ed sports league is a guy trying to get his penis wet there because he read online/in some publication that co-ed sports leagues are a great alternative to bar cold approaching and the swipe apps.

The best way to arrange first dates and find lasting relationships (if that's a goal) is through meeting people in person. I think there's a greater degree of difficulty in doing that when I consider the mating environment of 2010-present. The swipe apps are a convenient way to arrange a higher quantity of dates, but most arranged dates from that method are "one date, no sex, no second date". That's a waste of time.

Go outside. Talk to women.

 

[Bigpapa]

The best way to arrange first dates and find lasting relationships (if that's a goal) is through meeting people in person. I think there's a greater degree of difficulty in doing that when I consider the mating environment of 2010-present. The swipe apps are a convenient way to arrange a higher quantity of dates, but most arranged dates from that method are "one date, no sex, no second date". That's a waste of time.

Go outside. Talk to women.

There is little to no quality on swiping apps

I think that for above average looking women apps are not mainstream and only go there for validation. Talked with lots of girls about it and more or less is the same response that be excellent gave “ been out with 2-3 guys but they were not exciting and felt that it is a waste of time “

Makes a lot of sense, if you are an above average looking woman you will have more options than you can handle in real life with at least decent quality dudes. Makes no sense to be on swipe apps to begin with ( unless you are weird or something )

 

[SW15]

There is little to no quality on swiping apps

I think that for above average looking women apps are not mainstream and only go there for validation. Talked with lots of girls about it and more or less is the same response that be excellent gave “ been out with 2-3 guys but they were not exciting and felt that it is a waste of time “

Spending a considerable amount of time on dating apps and experiencing all the pre-date flaking and "one date, no sex, no second date" type instances will affect a man's mental health and his own assessment of his SMV.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The best way to arrange first dates and find lasting relationships (if that's a goal) is through meeting people in person. I think there's a greater degree of difficulty in doing that when I consider the mating environment of 2010-present. The swipe apps are a convenient way to arrange a higher quantity of dates, but most arranged dates from that method are "one date, no sex, no second date". That's a waste of time.

Go outside. Talk to women.

Can we please stop pretending that somehow none of the women you would meet in person are on OLD? They are 95% of the same sets of women, yet people act as if they are mutually exclusive...like if you meet someone in person, it's because she wasn't on OLD.

It's nonsense...they are the same set of women for the most part. The only difference is she might not have given you the time of day online but you may have better luck in person.

Meet the right person online or in person and the result will be the same.