Are we older men (35+) deluding ourselves about younger women?

[zekko]

At 35, you're not old, you can date anybody if you have value. When I started dating my girlfriend, I was 42 and she was 27. I could have gone younger if I had wanted.

 

[2Rocky]

Don't look at age as a hard and fast guideline. More about their experiences in life. The more of those experiences you have in common the more likely you will relate, and thus attract them. Cases in point...
Physical Connection
A 50 year old maleendurance athlete, finishing with the 30 year old females in finish line times is going to be considered a contemporary and that is within reason. They can train together .
Family connection
A 50 year old whose parents were family friends with a 30 year old woman's parents and they have a summer home near each other...Commonality.
Offspring connection
A 50 year old man whose kids go to the same school with a 30 year old woman's.
Interest connection
A 50 year old man who is in an interest /activity club with a 30 year old woman, and is well regarded in the activity as an expert, or very competitive.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

A 50 year old man who is in an interest /activity club with a 30 year old woman, and is well regarded in the activity as an expert, or very competitive.

Yes- This is where I do particularly well... (Though we're talking late 50s to late 30s/mid 40s)
I give hobby-related talks, and host outreach work with youth groups, so I'm fairly well known in those circles - Around half of the women I pick up are either teachers/group leaders, or women in hobby clubs/societies other than my own.

 

[IKO69]

It's not unrealistic at all - the last time I really dated someone close to my age was when I was still engaged in my late 20's. All my serious relationships after that were with women in their early to mid 20's. My age has not really been an issue but maybe that is because I don't really look at my age - still have all my hair although within the past year I have noticed the grey is really starting to creep up on me.

I have a decent life - I own a home and a separate condo and have a good job. No, I don't clear $200k+ annually and have friends and associates that do, but I consider myself lucky and have been fortunate (very). I am pretty sure this is the real key to my success - I am genuinely pretty stress free and I think it rubs off on the women I meet.

I have a friend back home, older guy a little more than a decade older than me, his girlfriend is about 24. She's really hot. He's balding/bald, slightly chubby and has no problems. He's got A LOT of money though.

-------

Stay the course and don't allow yourself to get "beaten" by time as a lot do and you'll be fine. After a certain age it seems people "give up" on life and that's what the real problem is.

 

[Snag87]

If we are physically fit with decent and good jobs, is it unrealistic to think we can get a woman 10, 12, 15 years younger?

By younger, I don't mean 20 years younger, but 8 to 15 years age difference.

I'm 46 and not too much interested in women over 40 (for obvious reasons) and would love a woman early to mid 30s.

Am I (We) being unrealistic?

I don't think so. I'm 35 and I've consistently dated women 8-15 years younger than me the past several years. One 24 year old is practically begging me to be her BF, but I'm unsure if I'm ready for commitment.

 

[Snag87]

And FWIW, I have an easier time attracting women 23-26 than I did when I was that age and pursuing them.

 

[zekko]

I don't think age was a factor at all for me with women until I hit 52. That was the first time I noticed some of the younger girls looking at me differently. I do think that when girls hear "fifty something", that has a much different effect than "forty something".

 

[SmoothSmooth]

I’m 31 dating girls 19-23. I don’t date girls 24 and above. When I was 28, I would date girls 23-26. So, I got older, but the women got younger haha. I’ll keep it 100% real. It really comes down to how good you look and how successful you are. A good looking 35 year old will basically look like he’s under 30 years old and have way more money and game than someone in their 20s. So he’ll be a giga chad living his prime.
Good genetics, no alcohol, no smoking = good looking man in 30s/40s. Most my friends have let themselves go by the late 20s, it’s sad. But if a man is average looking, average body, average career, then I don’t believe he will do significantly better with women in his 30s compared to 20s, but his age will make him slightly more appealing to women looking to settle down.

SMV is looks, money and status, with looks being #1 for younger hot women (although having lots of money and a great lifestyle will also compensate for lack of looks). game is high status behaviour (confidence around women and non neediness) but only works if she is somewhat attracted to your smv. So men in their 30s and 40s that retain looks but improve money/status will obviously do well with young women. But it’s a minority of men that have the genetics and success to pull this off, maybe 20% - and only 10% actually put the work into retaining their appearance and social life - and less than 5% are still single and childless by their mid 30s.

that 5% of men are definitely banging hot women in their early 20s, most hot young girls I know have dated a man in his mid/late 30s. But these men have a monopoly on the dating scene and can get laid at will. a good example is Michael b Jordan or most actors. Mid 30s but looks sexy to women.
The average guy would do best to find a girlfriend in his 20s/early 30s and settle down.

 

[Snag87]

I’m 31 dating girls 19-23. I don’t date girls 24 and above. When I was 28, I would date girls 23-26. So, I got older, but the women got younger haha. I’ll keep it 100% real. It really comes down to how good you look and how successful you are. A good looking 35 year old will basically look like he’s under 30 years old and have way more money and game than someone in their 20s. So he’ll be a giga chad living his prime.
Good genetics, no alcohol, no smoking = good looking man in 30s/40s. Most my friends have let themselves go by the late 20s, it’s sad. But if a man is average looking, average body, average career, then I don’t believe he will do significantly better with women in his 30s compared to 20s, but his age will make him slightly more appealing to women looking to settle down.

SMV is looks, money and status, with looks being #1 for younger hot women. game is high status behaviour (confidence around women and non neediness) but only works if she is somewhat attracted to your smv. So men in their 30s and 40s that retain looks but improve money/status will obviously do well with young women. But it’s a minority of men that have the genetics and success to pull this off, maybe 20% - and only 10% actually put the work into retaining their appearance and social life - and less than 5% are still single and childless by their mid 30s.

that 5% of men are definitely banging hot women in their early 20s, most hot young girls I know have dated a man in his mid/late 30s. But these men have a monopoly on the dating scene and can get laid at will.

The average guy would do best to find a girlfriend in his 20s/early 30s and settle down.

I have no money but do OK with young women because I'm good looking. It's more difficult with older women as they often prioritize economics, and even if they don't it's more important on average.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

I have no money but do OK with young women because I'm good looking. It's more difficult with older women as they often prioritize economics, and even if they don't it's more important on average.

yeah but if you became a millionaire tomorrow your success would quadruple. Also a rich man can get away with a lot more (he can openly sleep with multiple women and not loose them). It’s just rooted in our psychology

 

[Snag87]

yeah but if you became a millionaire tomorrow your success would quadruple. Also a rich man can get away with a lot more (he can openly sleep with multiple women and not loose them). It’s just rooted in our psychology

Yes, I'm fully aware of this.

 

[FlirtLife]

If you use dating apps, it's worth knowing that Tinder defaults to a 10 year age range (or used to). Most girls get too many matches to adjust their settings, so you will hit a wall at 10 years younger on dating apps.

As a seemingly unrelated note, you can only change your age on Facebook / Tinder a limited number of times.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

If you use dating apps, it's worth knowing that Tinder defaults to a 10 year age range (or used to). Most girls get too many matches to adjust their settings, so you will hit a wall at 10 years younger on dating apps.

As a seemingly unrelated note, you can only change your age on Facebook / Tinder a limited number of times.

If you use dating apps…you won’t be pulling any hot 18-23 year old girls regardless of your age

 

[FlirtLife]

If you use dating apps…you won’t be pulling any hot 18-23 year old girls regardless of your age

The topic is younger women, not "hot 18-23 year old girls".

I've repeatedly had people guess my age is 10-15 years younger, so I adjusted my age down about 6 years before using Tinder (in Asia). I matched many girls 7-10 years below that listed age, and almost none 11+ years younger. In my experience, the 10 year cutoff in girl's desired matches mattered more than the criteria you're claiming, but to each their own.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

The topic is younger women, not "hot 18-23 year old girls".

I've repeatedly had people guess my age is 10-15 years younger, so I adjusted my age down about 6 years before using Tinder (in Asia). I matched many girls 7-10 years below that listed age, and almost none 11+ years younger. In my experience, the 10 year cutoff in girl's desired matches mattered more than the criteria you're claiming, but to each their own.

Who Tf cares about dating app matches
Dating apps are basically a video game, at best you’ll get lucky with someone that nobody wants

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I'm 30 and already resigned myself to banging escorts and spending the rest of my time alone (this is actually preferable.)

I know what you mean but still when the going gets tough, the tough get going. There gotta be a good girl for you out there

 

[Epicwinguy]

I know what you mean but still when the going gets tough, the tough get going. There gotta be a good girl for you out there

I would rather bang many women even if I have to pay than be stuck with someone I hate

 

[Ricky]

You need to ask better questions.
When you ask questions of this sort, it allows the doubt inside yourself to grow. This is a form of self sabotage

In reality there are no limitations. There are only challenges. You can overcome challenges. We all can.

 

[Solomon]

I’m 31 dating girls 19-23. I don’t date girls 24 and above. When I was 28, I would date girls 23-26. So, I got older, but the women got younger haha. I’ll keep it 100% real. It really comes down to how good you look and how successful you are. A good looking 35 year old will basically look like he’s under 30 years old and have way more money and game than someone in their 20s. So he’ll be a giga chad living his prime.
Good genetics, no alcohol, no smoking = good looking man in 30s/40s. Most my friends have let themselves go by the late 20s, it’s sad. But if a man is average looking, average body, average career, then I don’t believe he will do significantly better with women in his 30s compared to 20s, but his age will make him slightly more appealing to women looking to settle down.

SMV is looks, money and status, with looks being #1 for younger hot women (although having lots of money and a great lifestyle will also compensate for lack of looks). game is high status behaviour (confidence around women and non neediness) but only works if she is somewhat attracted to your smv. So men in their 30s and 40s that retain looks but improve money/status will obviously do well with young women. But it’s a minority of men that have the genetics and success to pull this off, maybe 20% - and only 10% actually put the work into retaining their appearance and social life - and less than 5% are still single and childless by their mid 30s.

that 5% of men are definitely banging hot women in their early 20s, most hot young girls I know have dated a man in his mid/late 30s. But these men have a monopoly on the dating scene and can get laid at will. a good example is Michael b Jordan or most actors. Mid 30s but looks sexy to women.
The average guy would do best to find a girlfriend in his 20s/early 30s and settle down.

Where you meeting these 19-23 year olds that want older guy just curious

 

[FlirtLife]

If you use dating apps…you won’t be pulling any hot 18-23 year old girls regardless of your age

You say "if you use dating apps..." and your next post says "Who Tf cares about dating app matches", so maybe you can argue with yourself on that one.

Who Tf cares about dating app matches
Dating apps are basically a video game, at best you’ll get lucky with someone that nobody wants