Are These Sh*t Tests?

[soulforge]

My gf tests me a lot. You have to be that masculine rock. If she senses a weakness, she will test you on it. She will be a brat to see how much she can get away with. They are 3x more clever than us.

Last night for the first time in four month my girl didnt cuddle....i will just keep solid and ride the storm.

Mine is testing me alot, however it's fukin confusing, as she is showing signs of high interest too.

Tonight she suggested that I was lazy, because I didn't want to move furniture out of my house physically myself, instead I hired a removals.

She ain't getting away with disrespecting me like that... I immediately called her out and didn't cuddle her in bed tonight.

Neither will I **** her. In-fact I am 99% certain I need to demote her back to casual and keep her around for sex only.

I'm seeing no potential of a loving devoted girlfriend here

 

[Carson02]

You are obsessing over her when she should be obsessing about what you are thinking and doing. Moreover, being clingy and insecure is an attraction killer. Create mystery by forming your own interests and not giving a damn about routine texting patterns. Staying busy with your own life helps with this.

 

[soulforge]

You are obsessing over her when she should be obsessing about what you are thinking and doing. Moreover, being clingy and insecure is an attraction killer. Create mystery by forming your own interests and not giving a damn about routine texting patterns. Staying busy with your own life helps with this.

I'm not though. I simply mean we ain't having sex in person unless I make all the moves all of the time. Also she been bratty tonight so I decided not to fuk her or cuddle her.

She keeps asking why I ain't cuddling her, I simply can't be bothered with her bratty attitude

 

[member160292]

Mine is testing me alot, however it's fukin confusing, as she is showing signs of high interest too.

Tonight she suggested that I was lazy, because I didn't want to move furniture out of my house physically myself, instead I hired a removals.

She ain't getting away with disrespecting me like that... I immediately called her out and didn't cuddle her in bed tonight.

Neither will I **** her. In-fact I am 99% certain I need to demote her back to casual and keep her around for sex only.

I'm seeing no potential of a loving devoted girlfriend here

That’s not a sh!t test, she has little respect for you

 

[Carson02]

I'm not though. I simply mean we ain't having sex in person unless I make all the moves all of the time. Also she been bratty tonight so I decided not to fuk her or cuddle her.

She keeps asking why I ain't cuddling her, I simply can't be bothered with her bratty attitude

I was referring to your series of posts. In reference, to post #48, sounds like love is replaced with toxicity and lack of respect.

Either moving on or reestablishing leadership in the relationship might help, IMO.

 

[soulforge]

That’s not a sh!t test, she has little respect for you

She suggested I was lazy, so I called her out. Withdrawal of attention and I didn't fuk her either, absolutely no cuddles all night.

She must have woke up atleast 3-4x in the night to ask me, why I am not cuddling her.

This morning she seemed annoyed that I didn't give her any attention. She came back to bed this morning and tried to get me horny so we can have sex.

Now she is trying to be super nice... And making me breakfast etc...

The major change i have noticed in her is since she started this new job. New job means new friends and new guys around her.

I was actually already kinda expecting this. I think the best way forward now is to pull back, demote to casual and I think it's a matter of time till we go our own different ways.

To be fair. She has had a somewhat borderline disrespectful attitude from day one.. It's almost like she is a split personality.

She will be super nice, and then just out of the blue she will say something borderline disrespectful

 

[soulforge]

Given your last post, I would suggest seriously considering this. Something sounds very very off. Your previous thread suggested this as well.

@soulforge relationships should be inspiring and uplifting, not filled with so much suspicion, angst and distrust.

Is this fun for you? Inspiring? Uplifting?

It doesn't sound like it, it sounds exhausting, and not how good non-toxic relationships should be.

In any event, good luck whatever you decide to do.

Bro this doesn't feel good at all, I have made the decision that I will demote back to casual.

I was meant to stop at her house till Monday, but I have told her that I need to leave first thing in the morning.

Also what do you think of this?

Today she told me that she is going to get her lip pierced, like a ring or something in her lip.

I have previously made her aware that I don't like piercings like that. So I said to her, you know I don't find stuff like that attractive.

Her response was... It's my body, so it's my choice what I do with it.

Me - you know what cool, you do what you like even if I don't find it attractive.

Tonight she has been trying to kiss me, and I don't even feel like kissing her anymore, as clearly she don't care about what I find attractive or not attractive.

 

[RangerMIke]

Well.... I really don't think calling this 'testing' is completely accurate. Testing indicates that it is something that can be passed or failed.

It's all part of negotiation. It is an indicator that a woman is at some level interested in you, but she isn't really in love with you yet, or if she did at some point, she is losing it.

I don't think that most women do this intentionally, it's an emotional reaction to what is happening.

A woman that is head over heels for you, will do anything to keep you. A woman in love will abandon her kids, turn her back of friends and family, will rob banks for you... Anything less than this... well it's negotiation. She isn't completely feeling it and she is tying to make compromises which you the man have to pay for.

If you cave, and start giving in, it will begin a vicious circle where you have to do more and more because she will begin to lose respect for you. If you don't give in... she will either self-correct, or drift off. Truth is she will likely drift off, because she intuitively knows the chemistry is not there or has gone.

I know I like using cars and car sales as a metaphor, but car buying really is a mix of emotional and rational decision making and is a good analogy. We all have a car that we 'love', that perfect car that all things being equal you want to have... what that is changes from person to person. If you shop around and can not find the car you 'love' for what you are willing or capable of paying for, you end up settling for something close... but you are not going to be willing to pay full price... so you push back, ask for price reductions, more options... you are increasing benefit to offset diminished interest. This is what is called 'testing'.

Now imagine you bought that perfect car, but your needs change (life gets in the way), and you want or need something else. You will continue to defend your purchase because no one likes to admit the made a mistake, but you are not happy.. you will be grumpy, you might even try to modify your car so that you are happy with it again. This is 'testing' for a relationship.

Now imagine that you have unlimited options, and can buy a new car every time you want... without any ramifications. THIS is women today. When she ties of the dude she is with, she can just go get another one if she can not emotionality manipulate you into something she is happy as you surrender who you are.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Are we three pages in now on a girl not replying once on a Friday in a six week time frame?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Are we three pages in now on a girl not replying once on a Friday in a six week time frame?

She also didnt send him the "good night text" a few weeks ago...... you cant let that slide man.... shes clearly for the streets!

 

[Mazer]

After six months, most plates will fade away, if you don’t commit. If she is a plate, there should be no reason for you guys to be texting each other so often. My plates just text to ask when are hanging out. Let us know how it goes. Im interested.

 

[Gamisch]

Bro this doesn't feel good at all, I have made the decision that I will demote back to casual.

I was meant to stop at her house till Monday, but I have told her that I need to leave first thing in the morning.

Also what do you think of this?

Today she told me that she is going to get her lip pierced, like a ring or something in her lip.

I have previously made her aware that I don't like piercings like that. So I said to her, you know I don't find stuff like that attractive.

Her response was... It's my body, so it's my choice what I do with it.

Me - you know what cool, you do what you like even if I don't find it attractive.

Tonight she has been trying to kiss me, and I don't even feel like kissing her anymore, as clearly she don't care about what I find attractive or not attractive.

Dont forget you are ironically enough literary twice her age. You are putting way too much energy into small stupid and needles power struggles. I dont read to many post saying a 24 y.o hot woman making a man breakfast. I remember acting like this around women and it made me realize i sometimes overplayed my hand.

About the piercing. You see, that's a thing women do and that men can learn from. She does what SHE wants. Too many men are willing to conform to a woman's demand. I am watcing a dating show with two elderly people. Chick is 55 and bat shyte crazy rock type chick. Dude is 60 and vanilla AF. She blurts out she prefers man with something strange, like painted nails. Now, instead of saying;" nah bytch you crazy thats not who i am" , this sucker tells her, he doesn't mind if she would paint his nails ". Talking about having no backbone

If ahe decides to have a piercing, then that's completely uo to her. Lets be honest, she'll also sense your uncertainty and probably doesn't have serious future plans with you. And thats not a big deal , because women live in the present moment That's why you should enjoy NOW. How can that even be with such a huge age gap? Only way to stay "connected for ever" is by getting her pregnant. And ,again personal experience, even then she will go through whatever phase she feels like she has to go through.

My advice to you is to lighten the F up immediately. Great you managed to pull a hot young woman. Now just dont mess it up by overplaying your hand. All your behavior stems from insecurity bro..When she's around be fecking positive, relax and essy going . Don't expect this woman to stay with you much longer, that might take the pressure and anxiety away. Enjoy the ride for now and throw the fish back into the water when you'll have to.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Bro this doesn't feel good at all, I have made the decision that I will demote back to casual.

I was meant to stop at her house till Monday, but I have told her that I need to leave first thing in the morning.

Also what do you think of this?

Today she told me that she is going to get her lip pierced, like a ring or something in her lip.

I have previously made her aware that I don't like piercings like that. So I said to her, you know I don't find stuff like that attractive.

Her response was... It's my body, so it's my choice what I do with it.

Me - you know what cool, you do what you like even if I don't find it attractive.

Tonight she has been trying to kiss me, and I don't even feel like kissing her anymore, as clearly she don't care about what I find attractive or not attractive.

She is right. It is her body and she can do what she wants. Clearly she isn't too worried about losing you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You over analyze too much OP. Read the DJ Bible another 30 times. Need to learn more self control.

 

[soulforge]

Ok guys, so my feelings about this chick have been off from the start..

Something hasn't been right, too many red flags. Also I actually didn't have an issue with her not texting in the morning, I simply observed a change in her behaviour which told me that something is up.

She moves from I miss you, to detached... Which is fine. The mistake I am making is, considering her for a LTR.

Have been thinking things through clearly and she simply isn't LTR material.

I think I should drop her or at best detach and reset and treat her like a Casual f buddy

 

[soulforge]

You over analyze too much OP. Read the DJ Bible another 30 times. Need to learn more self control.

I'm not over analyzing man, I can tell when a girls behaviour has changed or is different

 

[soulforge]

I'm seriously considering dumping her tonight?

The age gap, will more likely become an issue at some point, also too many red flags.

Ex party girl, has some freinds who are h0es, most of her family are heavy drinkers.

Has no father figure, has lots of male friends, also communication wise she is terrible. Also has mood swings depression etc.

I think I best cut her loose

 

[Gamisch]

I'm seriously considering dumping her tonight?

The age gap, will more likely become an issue at some point, also too many red flags.

Ex party girl, has some freinds who are h0es, most of her family are heavy drinkers.

Has no father figure, has lots of male friends, also communication wise she is terrible. Also has mood swings depression etc.

I think I best cut her loose

You should be curious about how this relationship will go when YOU take a steo back from these..high expectations you have of this girl.

You shouldn't even notice small changes in her behaviour nevause you DGAF. Its clear she's hot, and that you feel insecure at times by her hotness.

You might regret all of this in a couple of months..

 

[soulforge]

You should be curious about how this relationship will go when YOU take a steo back from these..high expectations you have of this girl.

You shouldn't even notice small changes in her behaviour nevause you DGAF. Its clear she's hot, and that you feel insecure at times by her hotness.

You might regret all of this in a couple of months..

I know where I am going wrong..

First mistake..

I need to be realistic about the long term prospects about her... She is not long term material.

I need to stop making it easy for her. I'm too dependable in the sense that I'm always around when she texts me.

Tonight I simply backed off, as I didn't hear anything from her at all since yesterday.

She waited till around 8pm tonight and finally decided to message me... I ignored her text... 1 hour later she sent another message... Are you ok?

I ignored it... Then she called me... I ignored it... She called again and I picked up.

She asked if everything is ok, I said yeh, why what's up?

Her, well you haven't replied to me and I haven't heard anything from you all day.

I simply stated, oh I didn't even know you text me, I haven't heard chit, plus I was busy with stuff.

Anyway she mentioned that she misses me, and even mentioned meeting up tomorrow like we normally do on the weekend.

Fukin hell... I don't know what this girl is doing. She like up and down like a fukin borderline lol.

But.. I will take your advice on board.. and DGAF.. The truth is, she isn't LTR so I should enjoy my limited time with her.

But I will not bend over backwards to contact her, if she makes no effort to contact me

 

[Gamisch]

I know where I am going wrong..

First mistake..

I need to be realistic about the long term prospects about her... She is not long term material.

I need to stop making it easy for her. I'm too dependable in the sense that I'm always around when she texts me.

Tonight I simply backed off, as I didn't hear anything from her at all since yesterday.

She waited till around 8pm tonight and finally decided to message me... I ignored her text... 1 hour later she sent another message... Are you ok?

I ignored it... Then she called me... I ignored it... She called again and I picked up.

She asked if everything is ok, I said yeh, why what's up?

Her, well you haven't replied to me and I haven't heard anything from you all day.

I simply stated, oh I didn't even know you text me, I haven't heard chit, plus I was busy with stuff.

Anyway she mentioned that she misses me, and even mentioned meeting up tomorrow like we normally do on the weekend.

Fukin hell... I don't know what this girl is doing. She like up and down like a fukin borderline lol.

But.. I will take your advice on board.. and DGAF.. The truth is, she isn't LTR so I should enjoy my limited time with her.

But I will not bend over backwards to contact her, if she makes no effort to contact me

As you can see, the moment you back off she starts reaching out. Now, always be careful because stupid games =stupid prizes. So don't overdo it. Find the sweet spot. But it seems clear you do have some sort of imprint on her already and that's a good thing.

For now set a date. Untill then ( maybe next few days untill you see her) she will do most of the initiating . You may even respond normally, just dont chase too much.

There might always be a certain amount of fear when you deal with beautiful women. That's something personal to work on anyway. Just DON'T show it!

And women sometimes drift away. Untill that happens enjoy your turn. We should be aware of that. Best antidote is NEW women.